Married Guys - Guidance Wanted

[Goodoer]

Like most on TERB, I'm married and I'm an expert. My advice:

1. You have to be solid at home. Don't fuck up. Have all your husband/man duties taken care of. Your kids come always come first and then your wife (if she's paying attention). Be ready to fuck the one time per year your wife wants loving.
2. Be flexible and go without SP love if you have to. Scheduling makes things difficult as your family shit is always in flux. I don't make SP appointments as it adds stress to my life. If shit doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. It can be exciting to be outside of a hotel/condo with a hard cock and fist-full of cash hoping a SP can see you last minute.
3. You cannot avoid a Joint Account with your wife (see Note #1). Set up a separate account to stash away money. I use my mileage cheques to pay for a lot of SP fun.
4. I use an App that I've had a # for years... SPs and Agencies must have it on a list by now as I never have issues booking. A Hobby Phone would give me away in a heartbeat.
5. You need a budget as your SO/wife will notice. I buy a ton of shit, tools, gadgets, food, etc. just to keep my wife guessing while I've spend probably too much money on SP benders.

 

[Goodoer]

I have a client of mine who would always go to the gym after our sessions so he gets the smell of “sex” and probably my body spray off him.

I think I'd want to do this in reverse... I'd play hockey late at night, leave with hockey sweats on, hit the shower when I got to the SP, have fun, shower again, put the hockey sweats back on and go home smelling like hockey...

I remember coming home from an SP visit. It was a Sunday and my wife was supposed to be gone and should not have been there... I knew I smelled like perfume and probably had sparkles on me... Panicked, I pulled out the 2-stroke snow-blower and let the gas-laden fumes soak into my clothes. As there was no snow on the ground, my wife came out to ask WTF I was doing... I just said I was checking things out prior to Winter. I love that snow-blower.

 

[jjjj77]

What App you talking about?

TextNow - it's also free so there's no payment traces to worry about

 

[Ahri]

I think I'd want to do this in reverse... I'd play hockey late at night, leave with hockey sweats on, hit the shower when I got to the SP, have fun, shower again, put the hockey sweats back on and go home smelling like hockey...

I remember coming home from an SP visit. It was a Sunday and my wife was supposed to be gone and should not have been there... I knew I smelled like perfume and probably had sparkles on me... Panicked, I pulled out the 2-stroke snow-blower and let the gas-laden fumes soak into my clothes. As there was no snow on the ground, my wife came out to ask WTF I was doing... I just said I was checking things out prior to Winter. I love that snow-blower.

Sounds like that snow blower definitely saved you

Now I’m curious on what else guys have done to hide their hobbying secret to their wives lol

 

[Roger Sterling]

I remember coming home from an SP visit. It was a Sunday and my wife was supposed to be gone and should not have been there... I knew I smelled like perfume and probably had sparkles on me... Panicked, I pulled out the 2-stroke snow-blower and let the gas-laden fumes soak into my clothes. As there was no snow on the ground, my wife came out to ask WTF I was doing... I just said I was checking things out prior to Winter. I love that snow-blower.

Sounds like that snow blower definitely saved you
Now I’m curious on what else guys have done to hide their hobbying secret to their wives lol

Similar situation. I had visited a SP after meeting some clients and I should have arrived home well ahead of my wife. As I drove home she called to say she was already home early. I had a tank full of gas so that instinctive "spill gas on yourself" strategy was gone. I popped into a Tim Hortons, got a coffee, drank half and let the other half cool to spill a bit on myself. As I got home..... ooops! "Honey, the stupid lid wasn't on securely and I spilled coffee all over myself. I'm going to throw my clothes in laundry and have a quick shower."

 

[jimieboe]

Kijiji - just buy any old phone - easier than going to BestBuy to buy a pay as you go phone. I got a Google 6 for $200 - no traces and I have a data sim - and I use MySudo as an app for the phone. Its not registered to Google (Play Store) and if I want an app I just search and install the APK file. Completely anonymous. Also for plausible deniability I have instagram on it and I follow random people with good photography and some AI and semi nude type girls. Worst case scenario I say - "yeah instagram drives me nuts these days its all naked girls - I should just delete it"

Thanks...appreciate it, can I dM you if I have any other questions/concerns?

 

[massman]

Sounds like that snow blower definitely saved you

Now I’m curious on what else guys have done to hide their hobbying secret to their wives lol

The “spill gas on yourself” technique is as old as the hills. Lol

The real difficult situation is sparkles…. No easy solution for that one.

 

[Roger Sterling]

The real difficult situation is sparkles…. No easy solution for that one.

Visit a party store, make up a reason to be there (buying birthday supplies for a coworker's upcoming birthday). Send you wife joke selfies of you with things that have sparkles "I think you would look naked with this sparkly" boa/tiara/whatever. When you get home, complain that you didn't realize how easily those sparkles stick to you.

 

[Goodoer]

The real difficult situation is sparkles…. No easy solution for that one.

I got lucky…. We have Christmas and Easter decorations stored in the corner of the Garage. I made sure to root around in the pile saying we should throw them out.

 

[kherg007]

About 10 years ago somewhat recently single but enjoying professional companions. Met a civvie lady i fancied who did not know nor would understand this pro world. Anyhow, I set up a date. Was down in Melbourne on biz and took advantage of some professional affectation whilst there. Flew back to Sydney and got to my flat and had a shower and noticed my pro companion left two unmistakable hickeys on or about the collarbone deltoid area. I thought what if things go well and the civvie sees this? She may not want to further engage. So I grabbed a cricket bat and aligned the blade to connect the hickeys and took half a dozen sharp whacks onto the area. By next day it was one long ugly bruise lol. We had our date, things went well and she saw the bruise and said "omg what happened there?" and I said "some bloody drongo tried to pull his bag out of the overhead bin and dropped it right on my shoulder!"
LOL

 

[massman]

About 10 years ago somewhat recently single but enjoying professional companions. Met a civvie lady i fancied who did not know nor would understand this pro world. Anyhow, I set up a date. Was down in Melbourne on biz and took advantage of some professional affectation whilst there. Flew back to Sydney and got to my flat and had a shower and noticed my pro companion left two unmistakable hickeys on or about the collarbone deltoid area. I thought what if things go well and the civvie sees this? She may not want to further engage. So I grabbed a cricket bat and aligned the blade to connect the hickeys and took half a dozen sharp whacks onto the area. By next day it was one long ugly bruise lol. We had our date, things went well and she saw the bruise and said "omg what happened there?" and I said "some bloody drongo tried to pull his bag out of the overhead bin and dropped it right on my shoulder!"
LOL

She must’ve been pretty hot to justify giving yourself a beating with a cricket bat!!

 

[speakercontrols]

Cripes I just have my own personal account. So does my wife. Same with each has a personal CC.

...and if she wanted to, she could never access your personal account or your personal CC? Would it look suspicious if she asked to take a look and you said no?

 

[Butler1000]

...and if she wanted to, she could never access your personal account or your personal CC? Would it look suspicious if she asked to take a look and you said no?

Well I don't pay by CC. And in 30 years she hasn't asked once.

Like I said, take care of all your shit at home. I don't hobby because I'm unhappy at home. I do it because I'm an occasional bastard. And so the withdrawals in cash are no biggee. I always have it for farmers markets, and other cash purchases. She would be used to it. It's not unusual for me to have 500 in cash on me. Before when I was a waiter I had it. Remember the big blackout? She was sure happy I had cash then. And since then when there have been internet or power outages.

So if she asked, I can say sure, go ahead. But there really isn't any reason too. It's all about habits.

 

[kherg007]

She must’ve been pretty hot to justify giving yourself a beating with a cricket bat!!

Yes she was! She had this perfectly round ebony arse. Two failed marriages (one to a black guy, one to a white) and a 15 yr old daughter. Had to hide the hickies as I had told her I was single and the hickies would belie that point in her mind, and i could not say "no, i dont have a girlfriend - i got that from a working girl in a brothel." lol. She was fun for a bit but just got a bit too goofy after a few weeks, and i think she was a borderline.
Get thee back to the professionals! Lol

 

[Jami77]

Thanks...appreciate it, can I dM you if I have any other questions/concerns?

Hi, yes DM me if you need to.

 

[Jami77]

Some ideas to stay safe -

1. Constantly complaining of back pain (my back was in cramp and I was just walking by and Im like fuck it I need a massage)
2. Never answer my phone or return texts while Im driving (so people get used to me not automatically replying)
3. Pick time when I'm out doing random shit
4. Turn off in car dash cam (bitch occasionally that this thing is glitchy turns off every now and then - I should buy a new one)
5. Park near nearby coffee shop
6. Turn off phone
7. Walk
8. Drop in only - no appts.
9. Pay cash
10. reverse above steps

 

[speakercontrols]

1. Turn off in car dash cam (bitch occasionally that this thing is glitchy turns off every now and then - I should buy a new one)

^THIS! Tough to remember.

 

[opieshuffle]

Well I don't pay by CC. And in 30 years she hasn't asked once.

... I don't hobby because I'm unhappy at home. I do it because I'm an occasional bastard...

Finally someone gets me. The occasional "being bad" when I'm home alone. The drive to do something naughty.
Even the chats by text with an SP feels great! It's a little endorphin rush that makes you feel young and alive!

 

[Roger Sterling]

One more suggestion, have an excuse ready for being in the area in the off chance someone sees you and mentions it to your wife. You don't want her telling you her friend saw you in an area of town that you have no legitimate reason to be in, and you stammer to explain why.
I always prepare ahead, think of a client that is nearby that I can point to without hesitation, or a store that I have reason to visit, etc......