Endometriosis - Basically uterine cells for some reason end up outside the uterus and when the woman has her period these cells become inflamed and cause massive pain. Messes with a womans hormones, increases cortisol and causes immense pain. Subsequently can put a woman off sex and destroy her libido.
Sexless relationship of 3 years - tips?
- Thread starter boobie519
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The only one that can define that is you, because it depends on your tolerance of risk, which includes your specific consequences if things go wrong, as well as the potential likelihood of that happening to you.
What are the risks to you? Getting caught by your SO, getting outed, friends finding out, employer/ colleagues finding out? A stranger having access to your personal identity? Getting an STI? Getting in a situation where your personal safety is at risk/ thieves/ criminals/ pimps involved? Legal risk to you? Wasting hard earned dollars on a less than satisfying experience? Having an underlying health condition that puts you at risk for a medical emergency while with her?
Some of these apply to me, and some to others etc. For me, a lower risk encounter is where my personal info is not known (unless I’ve established a trusting relationship with them), where the provider has a good reputation for service, and discretion, where the situation is VERY unlikely to involve pimping / trafficking, where I’m dealing with a lower volume professional who likely takes her own sexual health very seriously, and also engaging in lower risk activities. Also, what are the consequences to you and your life if any of the above goes wrong? Finally, being with someone who has a good reputation in the business where I am reasonably assured of all the above and also of a high likelihood of having a good time. That’s my concept of low (er) risk. But not everyone’s. Just read the forums to see all of the crazy risky situations some guys get into.
This is what I was alluding to. This also requires you to have open dialogue with your partner and not be creepily checking the garbage can or whatever. But be curious. Maybe find out if she’s okay with you doing this as this can be seen as controlling especially if you’re not married. she might think you’re trying to get her pregnant without committing and this will backfire. This is also private information she will be divulging so please honour that alone and see if she agrees to involve you in her period patterns.
Because the libido is there it’s the endo pain that is hurting her pelvic area, digestion depending on the location, her butt area aswell. It’s her stomach. A lot of adjustments to sex positioning can also help especially if you two differ in weights and heights.
This is bad advice. Anyone who’s done couples therapy or individual knows you always use I statements. You don’t want to come across as accusatory and make them feel flight or fight responses and feel blamed and then defending themselves and you might as well let the four horsemen into the place.
Google it. Endometriosis. Many women have it and many don’t even know it. Misdiagnosed often. many get their uterus removed which isn’t always necessary. Ruins many lives and relationships.
Endometriosis seems to be on the rise and makes you wonder what causes it. Cases have doubled in the last couple decades alone.
I believe a risk factor is early menstruation, and since that too is occurring with increase frequency, I imagine that's a big part.
I've had two workers with endometriosis and it seems pretty rough. One had her uterus removed at such a young age, but has had complications from the surgery she says are just as bad.
Yes its different - but all related - all the pelvic issues women have like PCOS, Endo and Fibroids are different manifestations of the same problem.
Im thinking (personal opinion based on years of living and helping the wife through this) is that when men eat crap we end up with cholesterol and heart disease issues. But when women eat the same junk food diet (or even a good but misguided diet such as low fat - high grain as recommended by all the heart/diabetes associations) then the inflamation manifests primarily in the uterus. It could also be all the hornones in the burgers we eat which as you mention lead to early puberty...
I'm personally of the opinion that bread and grains. is the biggest disaster out there.
Its an easy one - I frame it as a way of knowing when she is likely to have issues so I can plan for it - take time off work, do the shopping etc. Another thing you can do is track her pills. I havent done that but every now and then she is in bed and asks me to check and see if she took her pill that day. Its amazing how many times she forgets!!!!!! I joke that if I hadnt had the snip then she would be the most pregnant woman on the planet.
But guys heads up - if you think women would be good with managing to take their pill every day - holy cow it opened my eyes.. And its amazing how many people I know who have had kids "by accident". IN fact come to to think about it ALL my friends will tell you that at least one of their kids was an accident. And after seeing my wifes forgetfulness I truly believe it.
Refreshing to hear that come from a woman. Usually a well kept dirty little secret. Once many women have achieved a level of financial and societal security, the sex drive often disappears. The hobby becomes one of only a few viable alternatives...
From the video I get the feeling that she is saying that this "switch" is a complication that really fucks with the minds of women. Yes it can destroy a relationship and leave the man thinking what happened? But she is saying that she has tried counselling and tried reading books and she still finds it frustrating that her libido turned off. Or is that an excuse for her behaviour?
Purely my male-oriented opinion based on personal experience and insight from friends (both male & female)...and outside the hobby world...
Women give sex to get love; Men give love to get sex.
If you think about that statement for a minute, and think about your past & current relationships, it tends to ring true especially at the beginning of a relationship.
The best sex a guy can have is when a woman wants to attract him with the hopes of getting into a good relationship. Or when a woman is in a relationship with a guy she really loves and is feeling like she is potentially losing him to another woman or other women in general.
The best sex a woman has, is with someone she can trust, and shows signs of being loyal to her for the long term which, at least initially, creates a sense of love and commitment.
I believe this is primal on both sides.
At some point, if a woman gets "too comfortable" with her man, she may unconsciously convince herself that the need to keep him sexually satisfied is no longer required because everything else has been proven to be good in the relationship. A guy typically wants to feel like they're with someone who wants to rip their clothes off and blow them at every chance they get. That would be a signal to a guy that he's so hot that his woman can't resist him.
All that being said, I believe women's sexual drive diminishes sooner than men. I think sex drive starts earlier with women as well. So the two sexes are out of sync in that way. Biological differences.
So what's the solution to being in a relationship with a woman and getting what you need sexually?
You have to balance showing her that you care & love her, while at the same time, making her feel that you will wander if you are unhappy: Women give sex to get love; Men give love to get sex.
It's a delicate balance indeed.
Women give sex to get love; Men give love to get sex.
If you think about that statement for a minute, and think about your past & current relationships, it tends to ring true especially at the beginning of a relationship.
The best sex a guy can have is when a woman wants to attract him with the hopes of getting into a good relationship. Or when a woman is in a relationship with a guy she really loves and is feeling like she is potentially losing him to another woman or other women in general.
The best sex a woman has, is with someone she can trust, and shows signs of being loyal to her for the long term which, at least initially, creates a sense of love and commitment.
I believe this is primal on both sides.
At some point, if a woman gets "too comfortable" with her man, she may unconsciously convince herself that the need to keep him sexually satisfied is no longer required because everything else has been proven to be good in the relationship. A guy typically wants to feel like they're with someone who wants to rip their clothes off and blow them at every chance they get. That would be a signal to a guy that he's so hot that his woman can't resist him.
All that being said, I believe women's sexual drive diminishes sooner than men. I think sex drive starts earlier with women as well. So the two sexes are out of sync in that way. Biological differences.
So what's the solution to being in a relationship with a woman and getting what you need sexually?
You have to balance showing her that you care & love her, while at the same time, making her feel that you will wander if you are unhappy: Women give sex to get love; Men give love to get sex.
It's a delicate balance indeed.
Meat and dairy. Hormones. Absorbed into humans. cells mutate.
stress. Lack of vitamins. Lack of rest.
I also wonder if diet issues are passed to woman via semen …
making problems worse ? If you’re not healthy you’re taking your party down too. Whether through sex or through stress and through sleep disruptions (snoring) and …
Women are creators. They want to create something new whether it’s a partnership and or a child. They want maslow.
advising to make a woman jealous is how to create a toxic relationship and creating or worsening attachment issues and degrades and exhausts the relationship.
relationships need Constant attention and communication and realigning goals (yes they can change and evolve.). A cadence is necessary. Both parties aren’t mind readers. Women want to feel desired just as much. Women don’t want to beg for sex. Women don’t want tofeel needy. Men will tell women they are being needy and too much or too sensitive. Men are telling women not to be women.
I never advised to make a woman jealous. I said that she should know that you will wander if you are not happy. Doesn't mean that you will, but it's essence of that feeling that will keep her focused on your needs.
"re-aligning goals" sounds too clinical and I have never met a couple who had sex issues and resolved them by talking about them at length. In theory it should work. But in practice, it rarely does because usually it's one person who needs to make concessions and "take one for the team" once in a while. The result is not genuine and not driven by passion.
In any relationship that has dissolved among people I know, it's rarely mutual. It's usually that one person has checked out long before it's officially over and has no further interest in staying. Mentally they have moved on before the other person was actually aware of issues. The other person is usually more invested and is typically the one who is hurt more afterwards often feeling blindsided or betrayed on some level.
