Just got a SA account out of curiosity. A few ladies I messaged are quoting $500 just for meeting up. What are the expectations during the first meet up? Is it usually just a coffee date? Is it preferable that no money is exchanged during the first meet up (I am not too keen on losing $500 just for a coffee date).
Sugar Dating Experience
- Thread starter FunInToronto2023
- Start date
First meetings are casual, coffee/lunch, to get to know each other, if you'll connect and discuss details of expectations including money. If no connection, you pay for the meal and move on. IF you connect you may get it on otherwise move on. ZERO money to meet to chat.
ANY ask for money to meet and chat = move on and ignore.
LTO_3
"Gifts" are all over the place. Just stick to your guys. Show some polite interest in them (e.g. game) then ask to have some adult fun but you want to want to first meet for a drink or coffee, or bubble tea, etc. Then after that meet, go fuck! Also as to rates, do not exceed $400-$500 for as long as you guys hang out. I guess if you just want to do the deed and split, negotiate less up front, or at your meet. The issue is SB's are a good value for hanging out, etc. That is something I like. Escorts are like little time clocks, with their "do you want to extend". I understand they want hourly, but often the girls start talking and it is their fault a lot of time is wasted. Or sometimes it takes a while to cum. Occasionally, I kick myself for booking 2 hours when I cum quick. But it's all good.
If it's a meet and greet, you pay for what you two order but no allowance. It is nothing more than an equal opportunity for each of you to see if there is some mutual interest/chemistry.
I tell them that, but then end with, "if we end up consummating the arrangement that same night, then I will pay the agreed upon amount."
State for how long the time should be. Specify your time 2 hours example.
Not some quick jiff lube service.
Not some quick jiff lube service.
So yesterday I met a girl through SA and she is Filipina lady and somewhat conservative culturally. We met for drinks and apps and it went well for 1.5 hours and walked her to her car. We are meeting again soon. How do I escalate to 'intimate date' and what language via text do you use that is not creepy ? We have not discussed payments of any kind yet. I don't mind seeing her once more before intimacy date but that would be it. Has anyone use the day rate hotels with success ?
Invite her to your place and tell her you'd like to make her a romantic dinner. A couple of candles on the table. A single rose. Something simple to prepare like salad and then pasta with shrimp in either a red or white sauce. After dinner, some wine while sitting on the sofa and after a few minutes, you just lean in. Most girls will be ready by then. Don't bring up money until she does. I've had a lot of dates where we're finished with the sex and money has still not been discussed.
Try your hardest not to discuss money via text. It's better to discuss in person. Communication is much improved when you can look somebody in the eye.
Also, don't go for the "how much are you offering trap". Get her to go 1st. If she resists, just tell her that this is not the way the world works. "When you go in to get your hair or nails done, do they ask you how much you're willing to pay or do they state their price? It's the same with a lawyer. He tells you his hourly rate, not how much can you offer me."
This works 90% of the time (even via text) because it's 100% true. Why should you make an offer that might be way more than she's willing to accept?
Shack's tips. That's enough typing for me for today.
My situation is a bit different in the sense I would have to book a hotel room, a daytime rate somewhere. Due to my SO, I can't have here back to my place. Trying to get over this hurdle of organizing an intimate date without being presumptuous and booking a room ahead of time. Anyone else come across this predicament ?
Don’t over think it. Pick her up tell her you’re taking her to a fun place. Grab a drink at the bar, take her to the room. Enjoy rinse and repeat.
My latest experience is that they are not shy at all to ask and they ask between 600 and 1000 consistently
How do you guys cut bait after initial meeting in person the potential SB that turns out to be fatter/uglier than her photos
I can accept 7/8s but if looks department is a 5/6 I think I need to say no even if she has the right attitude
I can accept 7/8s but if looks department is a 5/6 I think I need to say no even if she has the right attitude
You're trying to have first meet and first private date all in one visit while factoring in you having a SO you share a home with. I feel your headache just describing this.
Your best option is to meet just for lunch or dinner a potential SB and then have the intimacy date on the second get together. Add to this a preflight research of hotels near by that are showing rooms available to check in that day as a Plan B option to extend the lunch/dinner into a hotel get together. The SB may appreciate you didn't assume the lunch/dinner will go further on a first meet and booking a room for you two to head over to.
My experience has always been best to meet first just for lunch/dinner. It prevents my state of horny making poor decisions, agreeing to a much higher ppm, realize after I'm not that attracted to her and was caught up in the excitement of meeting her, etc.
The text/conversations between the first meet and getting together in private also will further your understanding of her expectations, possible increase in ppm she was going to surprise you with eventually, or on a lighter note, how much she wants to see you and the things she wants to do to you.
Update: During our mng she said she wanted to go slow(men just want to meet and fuck). Yup. LOL. So, I texted her to set up a lunch date with visit to a local art gallery. She messaged back ' So you want a date now?' No ppm discussion. Apparently she was ready to go to a hotel on the 2nd date. Caveat: I've been outta the game a long time and missed singles at the meet n greet. I knew there was a connection but didn't think she was ready that quickly.
Yesterday went great as well, I gave her some flowers and we made out in my car for a bit. We are planning next week's date to end at a hotel, so I have time to plan! Here's the kicker she hasn't asked for any ppm even though I brought it up. She likes spending time with me. She seems genuine. Am I going to get blindsided by a big PPM next week ? I'd really feel guilty if I didn't get her something or give her cash. She is a struggling 20 something and I'm 50+. She works her ass off and goes to school and has a kid. I will give her something even if she doesn't want it.
Are there any red flags I'm missing ??
Congrats man, you have found a connection and a real arrangement in the making. Lots of 'green flags' in your update.
It's ok you missed the signals, you were just being careful and not getting your hopes up. I remember being just as surprised when planning a second date having her ask 'Don't you want to fuck me?'.
Your best bet now that you are connected with her and past the meet and greet, building on a bit of what shack shared in his experience above as well, is focus on the fun with her and just be ready with your long term budget. PPM only discussions can feel so transactional and a SB may ask for the highest amount she can get thinking you only want to fuck her once and ghost her.
I've had better luck knowing what my monthly budget would be and you can do the same. Don't fall for giving the whole monthly amount right away - that can put weird pressure on even a great connection. Say you decide $2,000 is your monthly budget, and you feel comfortable sharing that with her, you're showing you are interested in the long term possibility of this working out. Then you discuss how many times a month you two will get together, say once a week, then a $500ppm would work each time you get together and get your freak on.
If your monthly budget is less or your availability is less because of the wife at home then what the SB wants - talk it out with her and unless you're being super cheap or she is looking for a really high monthly amount you didn't see coming, it will work itself out.
Good luck and thanks for sharing your experience here.
Maybe she got dumped or she dump the other guy, hence the change in attitude.
Red flags?, maybe she is just looking for FWB or NSA and she is using SA as way not to get caught or avoid family searching her on dating apps.
Some women are born nymphs so she is trying to compensate with one partner.
Paying her? wait till she brings it up. She probably sees that you pay for hotel and there is no reason to ask for some. Until she gets bored with you have fun. Don't get caught.
Just an update with my experience. She is 26 hot gorgeous nursing student, I am a 50+ OG married forever! The costs were: 3 lunches $220 + day hotel $140 + Gifts $120(No cash requested) = $480. Over that period we spent about 7 hours together. She was horny, so the sex was fantastic(sloppy bj, multiple positions, 69, daty, all of it!) without a condom(I'm snipped) and she considered me 'clean'(I know, I KNOW...stupid, Stupid, STUPID!!) It was fun, BUT...the time management and risk of getting caught was nerve racking and exciting(more nerve racking!) As a result, although it was fantastic, I will not dip into the sugar bowl again. She is not dramatic at all, but my time away from my SO had to be so calculated and although the fact a much younger woman wanted to have sex with me(satisfying my curiosity and ego), overall it just isn't worth the risk. I think this exercise served its purpose(Could I find a literal stranger girl, somehow convince her to have sex, for a nominal fee) I did that. It was great. Didn't feel right or possible going forward. I have business travel plans and will meet her briefly to let her know and give her some $$ to show appreciation because I'm a kind hearted sucker. Fuck, I hope she didn't really fall for me..lol
Escorts are easier and better for time management with about an hour total which can easily be done.
I wanted to share, as the thrill and ego boost were great but offset by the risks of getting caught and ruining my relationship etc...with my SO. I proved it can be done affordably with persistence! Maybe others on this journey will find this somewhat useful or think, what a stupid idiot...lol
Carry on..
Escorts are easier and better for time management with about an hour total which can easily be done.
I wanted to share, as the thrill and ego boost were great but offset by the risks of getting caught and ruining my relationship etc...with my SO. I proved it can be done affordably with persistence! Maybe others on this journey will find this somewhat useful or think, what a stupid idiot...lol
Carry on..
Guaranteed that you will relive this experience in your mind many, many times. Congrats.
Only you can decide how much risk you are comfortable with.
