Sexless relationship of 3 years - tips?

[boobie519]

I can't be the only one who's in this type of situation so I thought I'd ask for some advice. I'm in a relationship (my first - I visited SP's before) and emotionally we connect really well. We live together and I feel as though we are soulmates so to speak on that level. The only problem is, yes, sex. I'd say on average we have sex maybe once a month - pretty standard stuff as well with a mediocre blowjob lol but that's besides the point. We're not old either - I'm 34 and she's 30.

With that said, she has hormone issues and her period has been an ongoing medical issue which I completely understand and is something she has been going to doctors for, but with no solution as of yet. I try to be as supportive as I can, but it's just been really tough for me over time to even try to initiate sex if I know my efforts will be shut down because she's either too tired or not in the mood. I find myself browsing agency ads every now and then or scrolling dating/affair apps and get tempted to go for it, but eventually decide not to.

I'm not sure if there's a sensible way to approach this situation. I've discussed lack of sex with her in the past and it might increase a couple more times a month, but then just falls back into what it is now, which is not much. I really can't imagine what it's like to have sex 2 or 3 times a week that I read about from other couples or see talked about in articles. Sounds like a dream based on my situation! We've had sex twice in a day once in our relationship and I'm reading about Scottie Pippen doing it like 4 times a night haha

Anyhow, thanks for reading and thank you in advance if you provide any insight

 

[Sonic Temple]

For what its worth mate - sex and love we all know are 2 separate things. You obviously love her so good on you and you should be supportive - BUT - we all have needs; and for someone who is not in a relationship and this is only my pov - no judgement - I would have to engage in our hobby just for the sake of mental wellness. Now - I know this may come off as a selfish act especially coming from a person who is not in a relationship or married, I don't think it will change how you feel towards her - if you can separate the act of love and sex from the SP - you can still give 100% of your love support to you SO and enjoy the act of sex with a SP. This way you are more relaxed and happy at home. If you get action from your loved one - it will be just that much more passionate. Just a thought from a guy who is single and living life in the Niagara region .
With that said mate - I hope it all works out for your SO and her medical issues.

 

[Leimonis]

I can't be the only one who's in this type of situation so I thought I'd ask for some advice. I'm in a relationship (my first - I visited SP's before) and emotionally we connect really well. We live together and I feel as though we are soulmates so to speak on that level. The only problem is, yes, sex. I'd say on average we have sex maybe once a month - pretty standard stuff as well with a mediocre blowjob lol but that's besides the point. We're not old either - I'm 34 and she's 30.

With that said, she has hormone issues and her period has been an ongoing medical issue which I completely understand and is something she has been going to doctors for, but with no solution as of yet. I try to be as supportive as I can, but it's just been really tough for me over time to even try to initiate sex if I know my efforts will be shut down because she's either too tired or not in the mood. I find myself browsing agency ads every now and then or scrolling dating/affair apps and get tempted to go for it, but eventually decide not to.

I'm not sure if there's a sensible way to approach this situation. I've discussed lack of sex with her in the past and it might increase a couple more times a month, but then just falls back into what it is now, which is not much. I really can't imagine what it's like to have sex 2 or 3 times a week that I read about from other couples or see talked about in articles. Sounds like a dream based on my situation! We've had sex twice in a day once in our relationship and I'm reading about Scottie Pippen doing it like 4 times a night haha

Anyhow, thanks for reading and thank you in advance if you provide any insight

Imagine that you are 74 and looking back at your life.
Would you rather have divorced her at 34 or suffered through 40 more years of this? There lies your answer.

 

[mrwayne999]

Wish you the best dude

 

[boobie519]

Imagine that you are 74 and looking back at your life.
Would you rather have divorced her at 34 or suffered through 40 more years of this? There lies your answer.

Yeah it's just tough because of the emotional connection I have with her. If I thought we didn't really connect at all then it'd be an easy decision.

 

[tml]

--Are the financial contributions to the relationship equal, or one sided?
--Are you allowed to see SPs to make up for the lack of sex in your relationship?
--Was the frequency of sex discussed before you moved in together?
--Do you think she is having sex outside the relationship?

 

[tomtom1965]

I can't be the only one who's in this type of situation so I thought I'd ask for some advice. I'm in a relationship (my first - I visited SP's before) and emotionally we connect really well. We live together and I feel as though we are soulmates so to speak on that level. The only problem is, yes, sex. I'd say on average we have sex maybe once a month - pretty standard stuff as well with a mediocre blowjob lol but that's besides the point. We're not old either - I'm 34 and she's 30.

With that said, she has hormone issues and her period has been an ongoing medical issue which I completely understand and is something she has been going to doctors for, but with no solution as of yet. I try to be as supportive as I can, but it's just been really tough for me over time to even try to initiate sex if I know my efforts will be shut down because she's either too tired or not in the mood. I find myself browsing agency ads every now and then or scrolling dating/affair apps and get tempted to go for it, but eventually decide not to.

I'm not sure if there's a sensible way to approach this situation. I've discussed lack of sex with her in the past and it might increase a couple more times a month, but then just falls back into what it is now, which is not much. I really can't imagine what it's like to have sex 2 or 3 times a week that I read about from other couples or see talked about in articles. Sounds like a dream based on my situation! We've had sex twice in a day once in our relationship and I'm reading about Scottie Pippen doing it like 4 times a night haha

Anyhow, thanks for reading and thank you in advance if you provide any insight

I would say open communication is key to understand the root cause of lack of sex. Troubles at work with her combined medical condition can explain there maybe lack of energy to do anything including sex. More casual contact like hugging or hold hands might overcome these road blocks.

 

[boobie519]

--Are the financial contributions to the relationship equal, or one sided?
--Are you allowed to see SPs to make up for the lack of sex in your relationship?
--Was the frequency of sex discussed before you moved in together?
--Do you think she is having sex outside the relationship?

- Equal - I pay a slight bit more for smaller bills like internet and rental insurance, but the rest is equal
- 99% she would not be down for this
- It was not
- No since we're together most of the time and we're more homebodies than anything

 

[boobie519]

I would say open communication is key to understand the root cause of lack of sex. Troubles at work with her combined medical condition can explain there maybe lack of energy to do anything including sex. More casual contact like hugging or hold hands might overcome these road blocks.

Possibly, but I feel that she would be content in a relationship that had no sex and only small things like you mentioned like hand holding or hugging. I don't know if there's anything I can do to make her excited or think about having sex more often.

 

[dognutz]

Are you both equally physically attractive? Most women are horny as guys are. Is she not attracted to you but her life is comfortable?

 

[boobie519]

Are you both equally physically attractive? Most women are horny as guys are. Is she not attracted to you but her life is comfortable?

I would say so yes - we're both relatively fit and not overweight either. I guess my other question would be, is sex once a month completely abnormal in a relationship between young-ish adults? But again I suppose I have to factor in her medical condition..

 

[jeff2]

- Equal - I pay a slight bit more for smaller bills like internet and rental insurance, but the rest is equal
- 99% she would not be down for this
- It was not
- No since we're together most of the time and we're more homebodies than anything

The equal payments are good. My ex did not want to pay for anything because she said she wasn't born here.
I guess your girlfriend does not want kids?(30 years old) My ex wanted sex when she wanted kids.

 

[Robert Mugabe]

I can't be the only one who's in this type of situation so I thought I'd ask for some advice. I'm in a relationship (my first - I visited SP's before) and emotionally we connect really well. We live together and I feel as though we are soulmates so to speak on that level. The only problem is, yes, sex. I'd say on average we have sex maybe once a month - pretty standard stuff as well with a mediocre blowjob lol but that's besides the point. We're not old either - I'm 34 and she's 30.

With that said, she has hormone issues and her period has been an ongoing medical issue which I completely understand and is something she has been going to doctors for, but with no solution as of yet. I try to be as supportive as I can, but it's just been really tough for me over time to even try to initiate sex if I know my efforts will be shut down because she's either too tired or not in the mood. I find myself browsing agency ads every now and then or scrolling dating/affair apps and get tempted to go for it, but eventually decide not to.

I'm not sure if there's a sensible way to approach this situation. I've discussed lack of sex with her in the past and it might increase a couple more times a month, but then just falls back into what it is now, which is not much. I really can't imagine what it's like to have sex 2 or 3 times a week that I read about from other couples or see talked about in articles. Sounds like a dream based on my situation! We've had sex twice in a day once in our relationship and I'm reading about Scottie Pippen doing it like 4 times a night haha

Anyhow, thanks for reading and thank you in advance if you provide any insight

Leave.

 

[boobie519]

The equal payments are good. My ex did not want to pay for anything because she said she wasn't born here.
I guess your girlfriend does not want kids?(30 years old) My ex wanted sex when she wanted kids.

We've talked about having kids but I guess that's not until (if) I pop the question and we get married.

And yeah that's brutal. I don't think I could be in a relationship that wasn't as close to equal monetary wise as possible haha

 

[John_Jacob]

Always good talk and advice here (and the various similar others)

Reddit - Dive into anything

www.reddit.com

 

[tml]

Without being overt, try to find out what turns her on.

 

[whynot888]

Not trying to be a dick, but are you sure she is not banging somebody else?

 

[Oistins]

I have a friend whose wife has been ill for 15 years and will not be getting better. When she was diagnosed, the sex stopped instantly. He has a child with her who is a wonderful human being and he has held on mostly because he is just not wired to throw them under the bus, and he was actually celibate for the first 7 years.

On one trip to TO, another friend introduced him to the Spa scene and ever since then he would blitz whenever he came to town. He eventually graduated to escorts and currently sees at least one Indy per day when he visits. Nowadays, instead of being totally depressed, he is like a pig in shit.

Realize that not everyone can afford to live like this, but this is just one option. Take advantage while you can. You won’t live forever.

 

[terbcc098]

Bounce

 

[Knuckle Ball]

If you are not married yet then now would be the best time to end things. It seems awfully early in your lives to be dealing with these kinds of problems.