Discreet Dolls

Today is "Talk Like William Shatner Day"

Insidious Von

My head is my home
Sep 12, 2007
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William Shatner turned 91 in March.

For awhile, I was worried about him. He went on a radio show and farted like a Jewish grandmother. At first I laughed uncontrollably, then it disturbed me. Could the Great Shat have runaway meteorism which took the life of Leslie Nielsen. This was awhile ago, I'm reassured that he's healthy. No the Jewish grandmother reference is not Anti Semitic, it comes from Bob Fosse's film Lenny. The biopic on Lenny Bruce starring Dustin Hoffman.

I haven't been able to dug up the radio program, this is the closest facsimile to Shat's gas...enjoy!

 
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Insidious Von

My head is my home
Sep 12, 2007
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Didn't know Bill Maher does a podcast from his den?

Doing verdura with Bella Thorne...she has to be the most insane screw!

 

SexB

A voice of common sense.
Sep 15, 2008
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Wow, I ... did not ... know that today was ... talk like William ... Shatner Day!
 
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Insidious Von

My head is my home
Sep 12, 2007
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Bones had no use for Spock's high flautin logic. When the pointy eared Vulcan got horny and nearly killed Captain Kirk, he said he was relieved to see the Captain still lived. Bones said it made perfect sense in a pig's eye.

Awesome music.

 
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onomatopoeia

Bzzzzz.......Doink
Jul 3, 2020
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Cabbagetown
Excerpt from my partially-written screenplay, which I can't get anybody to read.

Jack is defending himself at a criminal assault trial. Reggie Eidelfuhrberger is a police officer witness, who likes to perform gratuitous strip searches. Jack is in the process of trying to prove that Eidelfuhrberger does not possess a grade twelve education or equivalent. Nick is a student studying law, seated in the gallery at the trial:



(Jack includes rudimentary hand gestures, at high school play acting level. This question, Jack repeatedly but not continuously speaks and acts like William Shatner as Captain Kirk doing dinner theater Shakespeare).

Jack​


Question 24: Science. “After dusk, and before dawn, I reign supreme, the brightest stellar body of them all. I am The Dog Star, Alpha Canis Majoris. Mine are the days, of August”. Am I Sirius A, or just kidding?

Eidelfuhrberger​

You’ve gotta be kidding. You can’t be serious.

Jack​

(holding his nose to suppress laughter, and for Regis Philbin voice)

Final answer?

Eidelfuhrberger​

I’ve seen a lot more stellar bodies than yours.

Jack.​

Or parts, thereof. Please answer the question.

Eidelfuhrberger​

What question?

(Jack points with his index finger at the question on the monitor before speaking, but Reggie doesn’t look, thinking this is another dramatic gesture, or an attempt to deceive).

Jack​

Am I Sirius A, or just kidding?

Eidelfuhrberger​

Just ask your fucking question.

Jack​

That was the question.

Eidelfuhrberger​

What was the question?

Jack​

Am I Sirius A, or just kidding?, is the question
.
Eidelfuhrberger​

What was the first part again?

Jack​

Schnell!

Eidelfuhrberger​

What? … I don’t know
.
Jack​

Nick?

Nick​

You are Sirius A.

Jack​

Correct! It’s essentially a true or false question. Sub out, Dieter you’re in.

Eidelfuhrberger​

But…there was no question; how could you be serious?

Jack​

Sirius A is the name of the brightest star in the evening sky
.
Eidelfuhrberger​

Why didn’t you just ‘aks’ me that? And how am I supposed to know that? I’m a cop, not…

Jack​

… a brain scientist. Evidently, you’re not a rocket surgeon either, but ironically, you may need one, soon.

(Reggie finally silently reads the question, lips moving)

Eidelfuhrberger​

Hah! It was a trick question. It’s the sun! Mine are the days of August. There are four Sundays in every August!

Jack​

Unless there are five. You can’t see the sun, at night. All you had to do was know that I wasn’t just kidding. It was a science question. Science isn’t funny, it’s serious.
 

Valcazar

Just a bundle of fucking sunshine
Mar 27, 2014
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Bones had no use for Spock's high flautin logic. When the pointy eared Vulcan got horny and nearly killed Captain Kirk, he said he was relieved to see the Captain still alive. Bones said it made perfect sense in a pig's eye.

Awesome music.

Love that fight music.
 

Insidious Von

My head is my home
Sep 12, 2007
40,043
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When Christopher Plummer passed away, William Shatner said that he was everything I'm not. Plummer was a phenominal actor who got better with age. However the Great Shat has always had massive charisma which negates his sometime faulty diction. The only difference between the two, Shat never told Ana de Armas a dirty joke.

 

chodge

Well-known member
Feb 20, 2004
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Bones had no use for Spock's high flautin logic. When the pointy eared Vulcan got horny and nearly killed Captain Kirk, he said he was relieved to see the Captain still lived. Bones said it made perfect sense in a pig's eye.

Awesome music.

 

Insidious Von

My head is my home
Sep 12, 2007
40,043
7,440
113
Ana de Armas was terrified of Chris, so he told her a dirty joke to make himself human.

 

Insidious Von

My head is my home
Sep 12, 2007
40,043
7,440
113
Enzo the Tiger was told that not...everyday...is talk like...William Shatner Day...he didn't take it well.@9:35.

 

NotADcotor

His most imperial galactic atheistic majesty.
Mar 8, 2017
7,346
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sometime faulty diction.
Apparently it was an act. He was doing a serious play of some sort and it was tanking so he started to ham it up.
I don't remember the details, hell maybe my memory is fucked up.


Still Shatner and Bernie Sanders are now my go to guys for the audiobook version of 50 shades now that Gilbert is dead.
 
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