Spouse Solo Vacactions?
- Thread starter Goodoer
- Start date
Absolutely. The term “open marriage” is an oxymoron. If she or he wants to sleep around, there’s no point getting or staying married. And subjecting kids to their fucked up “marriage” is child abuse.
It doesn’t matter if he or she actually does cheat, what matters is that she has the desire to cheat. That’s the telltale sign the married needs to be deep sixed and fast.
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Keyword search, “separated”.
Why wouldn't it? If they're separated then either party should be free to get laid all they want. I don't think of it as a "free pass" because that implies there remains some commitment they're still tied to. I don't agree that there is when separated and either one of them should do whatever they want.
Now..... if a couple is taking some time apart to see if it helps their relationship that they want to fix, then I can see your side. But if they are separated because the divorce isn't final yet then it's simply semantics and they should fuck whomever they want.
Forgive me if you have already addressed this and I missed it but have you tried to discover and encourage her fantasies? Maybe try to find out if there's something from your non-existent sex life that you can do to improve? Maybe she wants something that she can't bring herself to tell you.
Even if is that she wants to fuck others it's better to know that IMO than have her doing it behind your back. Maybe you can roleplay that without her actually pursuing it?
I think a lot of married people in sexless marriages just get frustrated and expect the other to snap out of it without looking inward and considering if they might be sabotaging their chances by refusing to consider what they might be doing or not doing.
Agree. We have to calculate the decision that we can live with. There is a lot of grey area. I just prefer to think of it as either she is unmarried or married. Separated is just a term for people to play around the market. Whenever I played around on dating sites, I filtered out any woman that was separated. I don't have time or patience for that kind of drama. And trust me, there will be drama. The kind of drama that makes you imagine she was a mute or invisible after your SOG.
In my situation, she was separated but it appeared they weren't trying to reconcile nor was the ink on the divorce papers imminent. To me, it just felt off. My conscience got the better of me. I felt as if she was using me to push her over the edge of no return - she also had a couple little kids. (It would have been fun: spinner, GND face, 5'1", 90 lbs, Chinese import, perky B cups, and waist length silky black hair. And no tattoos or piercings. Fawk!)
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Oh God, fuck yes have I tried. Too many times to count. I told her that I can’t understand how she can not want sex with at least somebody…. She just responds that she just doesn’t want to.
It's the frog in the boiling water parable. Hard to jump out of the pot when marriage gets worse slowly one day at a time. (Even harder when the couple degenerates into hideous slobs from lack of exercise, inconsistent grooming/hygiene, relentless gravity, daily doses of poisonous alcohol, and.... blah blah blah. But there is still a market for her even after she has degenerated. It is called Match.com.)
I do respect your commitment to your own moral code even if I disagree.
I have a cousin who has been "separated" for years but she refuses to sign off on the divorce out of spite. She does not want him to move on. They have no relationship and haven't lived together in the same home in years. He wants to move on but she has no desire to ever remarry so she doesn't give a shit and would rather fuck him over. So "separation" in this case doesn't do it justice, their marriage couldn't be more dead.
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sorry to hear dude. My sex life is lacking but not as badly as your own....... maybe it's time to just let her do what she wants and you do what you want and just give up on any feelings of faithfulness. Her refusal to fix your sex life gives you full permission to seek it elsewhere IMO. If she's not fucking you, then IMO you're only hurting yourself with expectations of her loyalty.
vacation alone, no biggie. I do it, although it’s been ages, for recreation hobbies she doesn’t partake in (the non-SP kind) But, that was always the case.
I’d be suspicious too if it there was a sudden change. Sounds like your wife has a new friend.
I’d be suspicious too if it there was a sudden change. Sounds like your wife has a new friend.
See theres the problem right there. That desire to "win" there are times when the desire to win can be counter productive.
For example, lets say you are sparring for 5 minutes. You training partner almosr has a choke fully locked. But you spend 4 minutes clinging on refusing to tap out.
The alternative is to drop your ego tap to the choke, reset and continue sparring.
That is a far better use of your 5 minute sparring round.
So how does this translate to your relationship issue? Your ego is getting you to spend top mich energy on something you cant control. Beinf angry about it is not going to result in anything.
Consider how you can better spend that time instead of stewing.
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