The kink scene has had (its gotten somewhat better) a huge fucking problem with predatory Doms and Tops. Grooming people new to the scene and especially convincing them they don't have the right to complain because a "real sub" wouldn't is just part of the bullshit involved.And my dudes, google search, 'grooming'. These creeps don't come across as creeps when you first meet them, even with BDSM and kink involved, they know exactly how to coax and prey on women (the more vulnerable the better, you've all seen the "daddy issues" jokes, cmon now). Yes, they may enter into consensual sex and kink, but agreeing to be spanked is a fuck of a lot different than agreeing to given a black eye and a fat lip. Abuse is abuse and the (alleged) victim shaming here is gross. If 5 different exes have spoken out, this isn't a smear campaign, the dude clearly has a problem. Just how many women need to step forward before you believe it? 100s?
It's a fucking stereotype for a reason.