Relationships are tough these days

[penelopebloom]

I have no issues with dawn lee or any other sp commenting on this thread. I Actually like dawn lee she's opinionated strong women. I read a few of her blogs after the whole Toronto sun thing.

To clarify this women was east Indian, 28, works for the government, long black hair very busty, eyes so bright that they shine, a smile thats incredible, lips where so full and soft kissing her was heaven. I was crazy for her still am. I met her on vacation she was there with her cousin we spent a amazing week together dated on are return. I never had instagram didn't know much about it she got me into it because as i found out its a huge part of her life. I found myself looking at other people's lives who i dont know or care about. Then i found myself looking at all the people she was following or who where following her. It was crazy. I got right into it and felt like i was losing myself and felt depressed. Instagram is so stupid and such a waste of time there so much better things to do.

Anyways deeper into are relationship i figure she was spending three to four hours on it a day and probably seven or eight on the weekends. She put these stupid pics up with the filter and like flowers around her head or animal faces lol. I didn't tell her but she looked like a idiot. Grown ass women doing that is just silly.

I would of been with her but I'm not going to be with someone who wastes all that time on Instagram its retarded. I wouldn't trust them anyways. I never told her to get off, im not going to tell people what to do or that there throwing away there life on stupid stuff.

I think its a huge addiction like drugs or cigarettes. They can't help themselves lots of these people grew up on Instagram. Sad thing is its so embedded in there life they can't stop. I never realized this till this last 12 months or so.

Never talked to her for months she called me recently and I've come to realize her heads all fucked up from social media although there a part of her that totally amazing i just hate the social media side.

she sounds like those sugarbaby sisters who got imprisoned in nigeria because they were dating the wrong nigerian billionaires lol:

https://www.instagram.com/jyotimatharoo/?hl=en

https://www.instagram.com/kiran_matharoo/?hl=en

does she derive an income from instagram? like an instagram influencer type chick? because that's a slightly different situation than someone who's only on it for "attention" because it's a symptom of the "millennial female", although i'm sure those factors play into it.

either way, this by no means exemplifies most of the women i know, and we're the same age.

you are also describing a very small subset of what instagram offers. i use instagram mainly for photography and art and i follow some amazing creators. i'm stunned every single day that people are sharing their work for free for me to enjoy and learn from.

anyway it sounds like she's obviously not the right one for you, but i don't think you should let it affect your view of all young women today. if anything, it just sounds like you're finding it hard to let her go because she's hot and she's getting a lot of attention from other people on instagram that's taking her attention away from you. but if you're someone who is willing to give affection to the person you care about, there's no reason why you can't find a woman who is willing to give you the same thing back.

re: social media and feelings of inadequacy - it's not reality. followers and likes aren't substitutes for real connections with real people who will have empathy and compassion for you. the only worthy people that are following on social media in my view are people who are putting out unique, interesting, thoughtful content. people with perspectives that are original and even controversial. "safe" images of perfect filtered selfies aren't going to make a dent in the world.

 

[penelopebloom]

I don t want to live in anxiety in my relationships or having to prove my self worth all the time. I work a lot and can t give someone 24/7 attention. It s easier for women these days they have a lot of options with dating sites and social media. So they re always looking.

if you feel like you "need" to be giving someone 24/7 attention in a relationship, you're not in a healthy relationship. the best relationships flourish when both partners can be individuals and lead individual lives apart from each other while still trusting the other person.

if you feel like you can't trust the women you're with, ask yourself why. it's probably a mix of your own insecurities and the fact that she's probably not giving you the commitment you need right now.

 

[superstar_88]

We really do need a Dawn Lee call in radio show

 

[frankcastle]

Females love attention, specifically male attention. Not sex, but attention driven by sex appeal. And lots of it; the more, the better. It's in their DNA to want to attract as many potential highly suitable partners as possible so they can choose the top specimen to mate with.

Modern technology in the form of social media is the absolute ultra perfect marriage for the female attention-seeking gene, and that's its downfall. I'm not going to make any dire predictions about what this means for society. I really don't know how things will turn out. The only thing that is certain is that there's no going back from here.

Plenty of males start threads on terb looking for attention too

 

[deezed]

|2 /-\ | /|/ cheers , you contribute valuable content .

 

[multimedia]

The first Smartphone, the Blackberry was a business oriented device with high security features.

Then in 2006 the iPhone came along with a sleek design, simple button pushing and a camera. And sales to women skyrocketed.

Why? Because I've seen studies done where women use the Camara all the time compared to men. To check makeup, check if their ass looks ok in an outfit. To send pics of clothing choices for peer approval. To document every moment they look great.

And alot if it has to do with the social competition that women do engage in from the tween years. A culture of approval/ostrasization used to establish a pecking order and then on men to gain "the upper hand" using emotional manipulation.

Full disclosure alot of this is my SO who hates this and won't engage in it.

Smartphones have widened the circle these behaviors can be engaged in, both in numbers and how often.

Do all women engage in this? Certainly not. I even see some young ones disengaging. But the drive for competition is strong as is the peer pressure.

That's why it's in some ways a great tell for us guys. If they don't have the capability emotionally to shut it out then you know your place in the pecking order.

And can seek a better partner.

Nailed it. Not surprisingly, school administrators say anxiety and depression even among grade school kids sky rocked every year after this. We're seeing this now, and it's a 'crisis' in universities. Can't handle reality, or the online world changes, and often leaves you behind. The iphone (IGen or Gen Z as well as younger millennials) are more often than not, completely absorbed in this. Especially females where it has fundamentally messed up their thinking process.

 

[Goodoer]

Jesus, this thread is miserable. I was married before smartphones were even a thing. I watch my wife live on the device now and it irritates me... but it seems like it'll be the same with anyone else.

I don't Facebook, etc., but use my phone for work, reading news/items/sports, watch porn and TERB.

I love talking with women in their late 30's and 40's. I'll agree that it seems useless to talk to women in their young 20's.

 

[multimedia]

The flipside to this is that if you speak to young women they'll tell you there's hardly any men out there worth dating. Quite a few are under the impression that most men are 30-year old sad losers who still live at home, do nothing apart from playing video games, and their only experience with female company is when they hire a hooker to fuck them.

It's a world wide phenomenon that women feel there aren't sufficient male suitors to meet their standards, and thus have taken to freezing their eggs at increasing levels.

 

[Smallcock]

The flipside to this is that if you speak to young women they'll tell you there's hardly any men out there worth dating. Quite a few are under the impression that most men are 30-year old sad losers who still live at home, do nothing apart from playing video games, and their only experience with female company is when they hire a hooker to fuck them.

What 30 year old living with mommy has money to hire hookers? Don't they live at home because they don't have money to move out?

 

[simba_one]

We really do need a Dawn Lee call in radio show

She’s awesome! Book some time with her. From experience I can tell you that she’s the total package.

S_o

 

[Mr610]

I recently had a conversation with my daughter on the addiction of Instagram. She is an extremely bright 27 year old entrepreneurial person and spends most of her time on her business social media, but the other day, she was telling me that on an updated Instagram account in settings there is a feature that you can put a time clock on your profile that limits time spent on the account. She was telling me that you can look up on your account how much time per day you spend on Instagram and set limits for yourself

First question I asked is why is Instagram even doing this?
The thought could be that Instagram is seeing an addiction problem and they are trying to assist people in being accountable and only spending a reasonable time on the account and not letting it control their lives?

I guess I am old school, if I had that many people wanting to do business with me I wouldn't be putting settings and limits and to how long they can use my service.

 

[penelopebloom]

Jesus, this thread is miserable. I was married before smartphones were even a thing. I watch my wife live on the device now and it irritates me... but it seems like it'll be the same with anyone else.

I don't Facebook, etc., but use my phone for work, reading news/items/sports, watch porn and TERB.

I love talking with women in their late 30's and 40's. I'll agree that it seems useless to talk to women in their young 20's.

it's probably useless yes, if you have a wife and you're in your 40s+ and you're not interested in paying them. because most women in their 20s have infinite possibilities when it comes to casual sex - but when it comes down to settling down with the one guy who's worth it for her, it's a different story. and if you aren't open for a commitment AND you're double her age, she might have other priorities.

 

[penelopebloom]

everyone should follow 420oldfatlesbians on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/420oldfatlesbians/

 

[superstar_88]

Jesus, this thread is miserable. I was married before smartphones were even a thing. I watch my wife live on the device now and it irritates me... but it seems like it'll be the same with anyone else.

I don't Facebook, etc., but use my phone for work, reading news/items/sports, watch porn and TERB.

I love talking with women in their late 30's and 40's. I'll agree that it seems useless to talk to women in their young 20's.

Your wife prob got on the phone to avoid having to talk to you.

 

[Smallcock]

If someone is using their smartphone for 8 hours per day on small talk and taking dozens of photos to find the right pose to update their instagram account daily, and buying 'followers' and 'likes' for personal rather than business reasons, at least you know what that person's priorities are. That's not relationship nor marriage material. The technology separates people into various categories, which makes things convenient. The superficial, overly confident, or low-self esteem types will spend all their time and money on social media. These are the people that you market products/services to. They make the best consumers because they live for approval of others and that means they need to have the latest things that all the other cool kids have. The people that use social media for a little entertainment and to expand their business presence, or to learn new things, are in a whole different category.

 

[Goodoer]

Your wife prob got on the phone to avoid having to talk to you.

Meh... Could be. I try to talk about current events, things going on with the family; I make the effort. I do well outside of the home. I'm confident it is not me.

 

[multimedia]

Meh... Could be. I try to talk about current events, things going on with the family; I make the effort. I do well outside of the home. I'm confident it is not me.

My wife is 40 too. She's on instagram alot, though has curbed it more recently. She doesn't post much but is addicted to other people's profile, they're lives, etc. We started dating in at around 21-22 way before the smartphone era, and before online dating became a thing (back then, it mainly chat groups where you would pick people up). So like you, if someone like her is on it a lot, the average younger woman and their narcissistic tenancies do not have a chance!

 

[username999]

Nailed it. Not surprisingly, school administrators say anxiety and depression even among grade school kids sky rocked every year after this. We're seeing this now, and it's a 'crisis' in universities. Can't handle reality, or the online world changes, and often leaves you behind. The iphone (IGen or Gen Z as well as younger millennials) are more often than not, completely absorbed in this. Especially females where it has fundamentally messed up their thinking process.

Bingo - I believe the huge increase in the number of female born children identifying as trans is directly linked to smartphone addiction.

https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2018/07/when-a-child-says-shes-trans/561749/

 

[NotADcotor]

It's not exclusive to women but it's mainly women and a tiny handful of men. Considering the fact that women rate most men as ugly on free dating sites while men rate women on a respectable Bell Curve, it's women that are in the driver's seat. It's women who are hypergamous, not men. I'm not dumping on women, I'm just stating the obvious. A hot guy will hookup with a hot, average, and even below average female for a good time. But it doesn't work the other way around.

.....

If a women is 30+ and deep into a successful career, I give her kudos and she is potentially great relationship material. She worked her ass off and that's not easy to do. But if she's 30 and just "starting her life" a whole lot of skepticism should come into play. What exactly was she doing in her "previous" life from 20 - 30 such that virtually no progress was made. Life's too short to throw away a decade exclusively on partying and fucking around.

First paragraph, if you are going to quote a study, maybe quote the second part where they point out that almost the majority of guys rate a 1 or 2 out of 5, women also messaged even 1s with frequencies that a guy would almost never do.

Third paragraph, of she was spending her 20's doing 100 hour weeks in med school/post med school, doing a Phd knowing she would have to move wherever she could find a job and any relationship is doomed, spent her 20's married to a guy due to family pressure to avoid being a Sheng Nu and he turned out to be a psycho [that one is a true story], Doctors/Engineers without borders/Peace Corp type stuff. Brutally shy [another true story]. Sure there are cases where it's a red flag but, othertimes it isn't.

 

[Brotherman]

^^^ Promote this man.... I`ve been in 2 civvie relationships in the past year. This describes both to a damn T exactly. After several months I`m done, tell `em GTFO.

Women have no idea how social media is destroying them. The extreme narcissism in females is now showing it’s true colours.