Yes I am out public with. It's evolved to where she lives with me and we have genuine feelings for each other. All this is easier if you aren't married of course. As I said I had a couple of false starts before I got lucky.
Sugar Babies: My Experience on Seeking Arrangement
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Is it an open relationship? Eg: do you still hobby and does she know about it? Again, I’m kind of interested in where people’s experience fits in on the sliding commitment scale. TIA.
Even though you asked LickingGravity, I thought I'd answer to give you my two cents:
I have had roughly a dozen official arrangements over the last 15 years that lasted a long enough time for me to comment. I have also had about dozen false starts where arrangements start but fizzle out in days or weeks. All the false starts came from women I met on arrangement websites. The successful ones were women I met elsewhere, some even in this industry (retired SP, etc).
All but four followed the same trend: Amazing, no commitment, no strings attached, no drama for a few months. Eventually, something pops up on either side that makes you realized both parties need to grow a set and discuss things they are comfortable with and not. The best part is that because money exchanges hands, I find it way easier to discuss rules on engagement and I suspect its easier for her as well. This extends the arrangement and allows people to bond. Twice I backed away from the relationship because I felt I was getting attached and I was getting jealous (like, I'm 18 again and that deep angry feeling in your gut jealousy). The other times, I noticed they were getting bent out of shape but doing the best to hide it but it always came out in funny ways. All these ended amicably.
Two others ended just like any bad breakup would end in civilian life. Lots of cursing, nasty emails and texts and the requisite "F U, I don't need you, look at me now" drunk communications that resulted me in blocking them.
One ended because she found a really great dude and she couldn't hide her excitement about this age appropriate guy. I have to admit, the dude is an awesome guy. Open minded, smart, good career, and is kind to her. Few years later, they're a steady item and I'm friends with them although her and I are taking our secret to the death. I suspect he knows, but no one talks about it and I do my absolutely best to never ever be too familiar with her or talk about past experiences.
One is still going (albeit, no arrangement for the last two years) and is my live in SO with white picket fence and minivan plans on the horizon. She pulled the trigger and said "This has to stop, we either date for real or I'm going to have to disappear and try and forget I met you".
My advice to the community is this:
- If you're looking at an arrangement because you think its a better deal than seeing pros, seriously, just stick to seeing pros.
- If you like your life the way it is with your wife/gf/etc, then stay away from an arrangement because feelings are going to develop.
- Pick a woman that matches your lifestyle in terms of drinking habits, drugs, schedule. I could not keep up with the 22 year old bartender who went to after hours bars every chance she could.
- It's really fun, and I have to tell you, you're going to want to spoil her with new experiences and gifts. There's allowance budget, and entertainment budget. I'm normally prudent and relatively cheap actually on civilian dates, but something about this type of arrangement made me want to splurge and show her new experiences. I can't understand why, it just happened.
- Be honest with her about your financial budget. All my arrangements, with the exception of two of them, have been incredibly frugal and paid attention to what 'we' spent together. She knows you're not Jeff Bezos rich, and someone decent will take care of you too. Pick a woman who is financially sound so if you break up with her, you know she'll be okay. I'd really drill into this because nothing sucks more than wanting out of something but staying in it for months at a time because you don't want to be a dick and screw up her mortgage/rent payments/tuition schedule, etc. Almost all my relationships, after a while, they conversation of "what should I do with my money" has come up and its your chance to help set her up for the future.
- You get what you put into it. If you treat her like an employee, she'll treat you like a manager. If you're a shitty manager, well, you're going to have a bad time.
- Its a real relationship with boundaries and rules around money and time. Expect to be there for each other because life happens: people die, people lose their job, people have health problems and the allowance doesn't excuse either of you from some normal human duties to each other.
Very good thread
As folks know from my many reviews, I am more interested in the intimacy side, connection for the moment, etc., rather than the raw sex acts. I have had what seemed to be genuine real connections for the moment, with many escorts, MPA's, strip club dancers that seem to react very positively to my interests.
I have always wondered how real it was or just being the professional wanting you to see them again - although know its real from the real gal friends I have had.
Not to sound like god's gift to women but on last Toronto trip a friend suggested an escort we met for what was suppose to be 1 hour (and what paid for) but turned into like 3+ and she liked me so much she offerred a discounted session to the friend that referred me. So I must have some magic old man charm to test
I am older than most gals father's that I would be attracted to. I am spoiled by 20's-30's or so women escorts, dancers etc. I have just no physical attraction to women anywhere near my age.
So to test my potential for something other than paid folks, I signed up on a young women, older men site that seemed to have nothing to do with sugar daddies. I did my usual rather long intro about my sensuality interests, love giving Esalen massage etc., with pictures. I even have a personal website that tells even more I link to - the nerd in me and don't have time for anyone who would not be interested in me for more than just money. For escorts I refuse to pay more than $US200/hr so not interested in any monthly arrangement. If I strike out that is fine, not desperate, but giving it a try.
HOWEVER, turns out after I sign up and all find out it was bought out by "SugarDaddyMeet", yeah, a sugar daddy site!
Now I have e-mail that "105 members are interested in you" that I haven't responded to yet but have no idea if they actually read my intro etc. Some of their profiles are very minimal but some come across as intelligent communicative humanoids.
So am going through them and will try and respond to some. From my experience on other regular dating sites and from reviews some responses are just bots that make you think your popular to get you to extend membership etc, but not actual humans.
Some of the responses are also not in Phoenix and I have no interest in traveling other than my decade plus at least annual trips to Toronto - although next year going to Frankfort Germany FKK clubs etc instead. Flight and hotel for a week already booked for June 2019.
On another board as others have mentioned, any hint of pay for play will get you expelled for life due to FOSTA. So I wonder if get try and get them off the board into e-mail for more direct talks!
Anyway am tossing my hat in the ring hesitantly.
As folks know from my many reviews, I am more interested in the intimacy side, connection for the moment, etc., rather than the raw sex acts. I have had what seemed to be genuine real connections for the moment, with many escorts, MPA's, strip club dancers that seem to react very positively to my interests.
I have always wondered how real it was or just being the professional wanting you to see them again - although know its real from the real gal friends I have had.
Not to sound like god's gift to women but on last Toronto trip a friend suggested an escort we met for what was suppose to be 1 hour (and what paid for) but turned into like 3+ and she liked me so much she offerred a discounted session to the friend that referred me. So I must have some magic old man charm to test
I am older than most gals father's that I would be attracted to. I am spoiled by 20's-30's or so women escorts, dancers etc. I have just no physical attraction to women anywhere near my age.
So to test my potential for something other than paid folks, I signed up on a young women, older men site that seemed to have nothing to do with sugar daddies. I did my usual rather long intro about my sensuality interests, love giving Esalen massage etc., with pictures. I even have a personal website that tells even more I link to - the nerd in me and don't have time for anyone who would not be interested in me for more than just money. For escorts I refuse to pay more than $US200/hr so not interested in any monthly arrangement. If I strike out that is fine, not desperate, but giving it a try.
HOWEVER, turns out after I sign up and all find out it was bought out by "SugarDaddyMeet", yeah, a sugar daddy site!
Now I have e-mail that "105 members are interested in you" that I haven't responded to yet but have no idea if they actually read my intro etc. Some of their profiles are very minimal but some come across as intelligent communicative humanoids.
So am going through them and will try and respond to some. From my experience on other regular dating sites and from reviews some responses are just bots that make you think your popular to get you to extend membership etc, but not actual humans.
Some of the responses are also not in Phoenix and I have no interest in traveling other than my decade plus at least annual trips to Toronto - although next year going to Frankfort Germany FKK clubs etc instead. Flight and hotel for a week already booked for June 2019.
On another board as others have mentioned, any hint of pay for play will get you expelled for life due to FOSTA. So I wonder if get try and get them off the board into e-mail for more direct talks!
Anyway am tossing my hat in the ring hesitantly.
IIRC from my own brief time on SA, even mentioning money up front gets you banned.
One of many piss-offs I found while trying to use the site. I came to the conclusion that escorts suited me more. Less hassle. More variety.
I did still hobby ….until we developed deeper feelings for each other and she moved in with me. Quite frankly now I am having hard time recovering after satisfying her constant sexual demands. At a certain age some women can be hornier than men. :nod:
Ok.
I have read this thread 3 times. Thanks for the help.
I will be honest, I am kind of scared to try, but I think I will give it a shot. Will post if anything ever becomes of this!
I have read this thread 3 times. Thanks for the help.
I will be honest, I am kind of scared to try, but I think I will give it a shot. Will post if anything ever becomes of this!
they are cracking down on SP's as my I.P address is blocked. I will try that other site mentioned only because sometimes it's nice to find guys who don't mind extended social rate visit
I was on SA - on and off for over 3 years. Had two major flings (18months and 2 years) and two failed attempts. What I find though, from the conversations here, is that I was on a different track. You guys are just using SA as an extension of hobbying. I was not interested in Pay per date ( didnt see the difference between hobbying and Sugaring). The main reason to go to SA was to have a steady "relationship". Money was transferred automatically via e-transfer and we just did normal dating. It wasn't "social visit", timed, or any of that. We went to dinners, went on a cruise / holidays, go-karting, sailing, movies and even Oasis. Both were late 20's and hot. And the sex was kinky and really intimate. Complete opposite of hobbying.
I've recently signed up for this site and have started a couple conversations to arrange a face-to-face meeting over coffee to see if there is any chemistry/mutual interest. Perhaps I'm being paranoid, but do I need to be worried about any legal issues? If we discuss arrangements in person involving possible intimate dates and ongoing "rent help", am I doing anything that could get me into trouble legally? I'm concerned because one woman eventually told me via message that she was "not quite 18" and I quickly said "not interested", blocked her etc. Not sure if this was a sting but looked like it. So I'll certainly confirm that the potential SB is 18+ but are there any other issues beyond this I should be careful of? I'd appreciate any advice.
It happened to me once that I was pretty sure that it was a sting. Her profile said 18 and the pic on the profile looked older than that. Soon she asked if it was OK with me if she was not quite 18. She then said that she was 15. At that point I was careful and just played along a little bit telling them nothing more than that it sounded exciting. They probably thought they had a potential sucker. Then they asked me, "Tell me exactly what you would like to do to me". I mentioned absolutely nothing about any kind of sexual acts whatsoever, not even kissing or touching or cuddling and instead, just asked what they'd like me to do to them and also made sure not to suggest meeting. They stopped responding almost immediately, and within an hour or 2 the profile was deleted. To be honest, it would have been better/safer to end the convo immediately instead of jerking them around a little bit as I wanted to see if it actually was the cops, but like I said, I mentioned absolutely nothing of anything that could even be construed as being of a sexual nature.
For clarification/full disclosure, I've seen girls from 19-45, and I go by their appearances, what kinds of dates they like and how horny they sound and not by their age.
So no, aside from the age, there is nothing to worry about legally. Just to be safe, the discussion of a potential arrangement should take place in the context of helping her with her finances for rent or school or something like that but not money directly related to any sexual services.
Pretty much the same. I grew tired of the whole "working girl" dynamic with drivers, agencies. phone/booking girls, paying per the clock and the whole attitude of it being a job and seeing multiple guys. Like you said, mainly looking for dating a civilian girl. You get to a certain age where how are going to get to meet and date a hot girl in her 20's unless some money is involved.
That would have been much safer. I would have immediately told her that I was reporting her to SA administration.
Good point fitguy. What vibe led you to decline the invitation to go to her home and how did you find out that she is a stripper?
I also checked out the SA website and saw some very attractive young women but I figure it will take some time to screen them and time is something I don't have a lot of.
I'm with you on leaning towards seeing an sp once in a while instead of having a regular SB arrangement. Even though it is a NSA relationship, you are still committed to a monthly "donation". There may be some months when you are travelling or simply unavailable but will still have a financial commitment to a SB.
I've probably met at least 100 girls from there in about 5 years. I've only done monthly with 2 of them. One was the first girl I met (I was a rookie) and she held up her part of the bargain. The second was because she was asking for so little there wasn't much to risk. One month we must have met 15 times including 10 days in a row. She was only asking for $750 for the month.
My approach now, when they ask is to say it is not logical to commit to a month when we don't even know if we are compatible. We'd have to meet at least 6 times, the sex has to be good and sustainably so and I need to know if she is reliable and prompt. So I only negotiate PPM at the beginning. Never agree to a monthly right off the bat unless it's a great deal, and even then...
Shack, now that's really interesting! I was under the impression (erroneously) that one had to make a monthly commitment with any woman who listed on that site. Thanks for clarifying.
One more question; did you upload your pic to the site or just pay the fee? I'm reticent to post my pic on a site like that.
Cheers.
One more question; did you upload your pic to the site or just pay the fee? I'm reticent to post my pic on a site like that.
Cheers.
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