Do SP's ever price discriminate?

[Catherine St.Claire]

I think what is being missed here is the cost/price of emotion/mental labour. Here is some information on it. The first link is an excellent research paper by Mary Pat Dutton and is a must read as it's all about our unique position, unlike the murky discussions of women's emotional labour in a personal/family relationship. It's a PDF but not a difficult read.

Faking it: Emotional labour and Prostitution.
Mary Pat Dutton
University of Montana

scholarworks.umt.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=6351&context=etd

This is an excerpt from a short article on Medium.com. A good overview introduction...

"Sexual desire can put people in a place of extreme emotional vulnerability, especially if they harbor alternative desires that they’ve been rejected for in the past. When clients make that first contact, they are often blindly putting all of their sensitivities and shame in the hands of the sex worker. They’re craving acknowledgement, encouragement, reassurance, comfort and acceptance — even if they’re not introspective enough to realize it. When their proclivities are met with a subsequent lack of judgment, the sex worker establishes themselves as a “safe” person, and often unwittingly becomes the focal point for the client’s overall emotional unrest. This turns the interaction from one of sexual labor — a consensual, mutual agreement between client and provider where the provider is getting compensated for their advertised services — to one reliant on unpaid emotional labor."

https://medium.com/@HARLOT/what-s-it-worth-to-you-charging-for-emotional-labor-is-an-inherently-feminist-act-195e7b979300


This article is more mainstream but still some good insight on the emotional/mental labour challenges today...

"Emotional labor also includes helping others manage their emotions: providing relational support, listening, ensuring cooperation between other people, empathizing, and soothing other’s emotions. "

https://ldsmag.com/invisible-labor-valuing-the-unseen-contributions-of-women/

sempel, you seem to ignore emotional/mental labours existence and believe the only two aspects of the industry is time and services. That is an erroneous belief and times are changing. On the reread, that was what I was trying to say but the clarity wasn't there. Providers now realize they provide more than that simple time/services/money equation and yet most continue to be unpaid for their efforts. Thinking that a client who takes more emotional/mental labour but doesn't require more physical services shouldn't be charged extra even tho he is utilizing a much more costly service for us to offer is absurd and incredibly entitled. That is where the increased pricing come in in my case. A physically low energy client may in fact be an emotional energy vampire and leaves us feeling drained and unable to see other clients that day. The challenging client is called challenging for a reason, they make us work harder than we have decided to in our business plan. Why should we not charge for this type of labour just as we do for a la carte sexual services?

Before anyone jumps on the "other professions" that provide emotional/mental labour and their pricing structures bandwagon, remember that those professions don't suffer the marginalization or have to deal with the danger or stigma sexworkers do. There was a time when we were paid well for being society's sin eaters but those days are gone. Providers now need to ensure they are paid for all the work they do, all the services they provide outside of the sexual services/time paradigm because todays industry doesn't allow an income to compensate for the bullshit we go thru for doing this work with the simple time/services model because it isn't accurate to our work. That doesn't constitute price discrimination, it's simply getting paid for all the services we provide rather than what other people like to think we provide.

And, no where did any provider say they charge clients more just because they can afford to pay more in this thread. You need to stop trying to brand providers as gold diggers because we aren't. We are business owners and should be respected as such the same as any small business owner. Gold digging is a different category of behaviour and doesn't apply to sex workers in any way. You are attempting to boil this down into simplistic examples and that doesn't work. Your input doesn't take our reality into consideration in any way shape or form therefore it's not complete. You can't ignore factors that influence pricing then come to a conclusion that omit critical components. I realize this makes the discussion far more complex but it's necessary for your conclusions to be accurate on any level. Pretending this aspect of our work doesn't exist therefore shouldn't be factored into the financial equation doesn't make it untrue nor will it make it go away...

smiles, cat

 

[Catherine St.Claire]

I have never encountered price discrimination per se (in the hourly or multi-hour rate itself) but I think SPs do it in the form of ending a session or heading to the shower after 45-50 minutes into a one hour session. I would suggest clients discreetly use their stopwatch timer on their smartphone or watch to make sure that they are properly getting what they are paying for.

If you are booking for an hour (time) then it's important to understand hourly providers are paid for 60 minutes of time from the time she comes in until she opens the door to leave, not an hour of service straight. 10 minutes to shower, dress and say good bye isn't unreasonable imo...

smiles, cat

 

[sempel]

sempel, you seem to ignore emotional/mental labours existence and believe the only two aspects of the industry is time and services. That is an erroneous belief and times are changing. On the reread, that was what I was trying to say but the clarity wasn't there. Providers now realize they provide more than that simple time/services/money equation and yet most continue to be unpaid for their efforts. Thinking that a client who takes more emotional/mental labour but doesn't require more physical services shouldn't be charged extra even tho he is utilizing a much more costly service for us to offer is absurd and incredibly entitled. That is where the increased pricing come in in my case. A physically low energy client may in fact be an emotional energy vampire and leaves us feeling drained and unable to see other clients that day. The challenging client is called challenging for a reason, they make us work harder than we have decided to in our business plan. Why should we not charge for this type of labour just as we do for a la carte sexual services?

Before anyone jumps on the "other professions" that provide emotional/mental labour and their pricing structures bandwagon, remember that those professions don't suffer the marginalization or have to deal with the danger or stigma sexworkers do. There was a time when we were paid well for being society's sin eaters but those days are gone. Providers now need to ensure they are paid for all the work they do, all the services they provide outside of the sexual services/time paradigm because todays industry doesn't allow an income to compensate for the bullshit we go thru for doing this work with the simple time/services model because it isn't accurate to our work. That doesn't constitute price discrimination, it's simply getting paid for all the services we provide rather than what other people like to think we provide.

And, no where did any provider say they charge clients more just because they can afford to pay more in this thread. You need to stop trying to brand providers as gold diggers because we aren't. We are business owners and should be respected as such the same as any small business owner. Gold digging is a different category of behaviour and doesn't apply to sex workers in any way. You are attempting to boil this down into simplistic examples and that doesn't work. Your input doesn't take our reality into consideration in any way shape or form therefore it's not complete. You can't ignore factors that influence pricing then come to a conclusion that omit critical components. I realize this makes the discussion far more complex but it's necessary for your conclusions to be accurate on any level. Pretending this aspect of our work doesn't exist therefore shouldn't be factored into the financial equation doesn't make it untrue nor will it make it go away...

smiles, cat [/B][/I][/FONT][/SIZE]

I'm not ignoring it at all. Where have I done so? You're jumping to conclusions/assumptions that aren't there.

All I know is historically and currently, ladies don't charge for emotion/effort. Clearly, an hour spent eating is different from an hour spent watching Netflix versus an hour getting/giving a massage versus an hour of sexual activity. Most ladies charge the same rate per hour saying one is paying for the time (yes some have social rates and some have massage rates but that's for giving, not receiving). You are different. You are saying you do incorporate emotion/effort and may charge clients differently. OK.

Why I consider it price discrimination if one girl charges customer A more for the same services as customer B is because based on the definition of price discrimination, that's what it is. I would also state that yes, being a provider is different from other professions. However, other professions generally stick to services/time. A lawyer who's defending a rapist who has murdered his victim and has to go through the evidence (as sick as it may be) charges the same hourly rate to defend a bank robber. A therapist charges the same hourly rate to different patients even though some my require more work/involvement than others. A plumber charges the same hourly rate even though one toilet might be clean and another might be covered in shit and smell like it. This is the reason why I use that paradigm.

A lawyer can also price discriminate too, don't get me wrong. A client can come in and the lawyer doesn't want to defend them so the client offers more (or the lawyer requests more) and the client pays.

If "you" refers to me when it comes to gold diggers, wasn't me.

 

[Catherine St.Claire]

I'm not ignoring it at all. Where have I done so? You're jumping to conclusions/assumptions that aren't there.

There is no jumping or assuming on my part, I assure you. By declaring that price discrimination is in fact a practice of sex workers, you are essentially ignoring everything I've said. Price discrimination can't be applied here because the provider will have a personally legitimate reason regarding her labour invested for raising her fee. It may not be visible to an outsider but emotional/mental labour is not identifiable nor can it be quantified except by her, the business owner. Even something as simple as bad hygiene requires more mental and physical labour, thereby justifying an increase if she's decided to make that a policy. Not price discrimination imo.

All I know is historically and currently, ladies don't charge for emotion/effort. Clearly, an hour spent eating is different from an hour spent watching Netflix versus an hour getting/giving a massage versus an hour of sexual activity. Most ladies charge the same rate per hour saying one is paying for the time (yes some have social rates and some have massage rates but that's for giving, not receiving). You are different. You are saying you do incorporate emotion/effort and may charge clients differently. OK. Why I consider it price discrimination if one girl charges customer A more for the same services as customer B is because based on the definition of price discrimination, that's what it is.

Most providers are more than happy to a little extra work in order to build a solid business, that's a given. But you are talking about when a provider decides to charge a client more than she charges other clients and again, I'm pointing out there is always a justifiable increase in labour for it. You may not see or understand the reason but it's there. Therefore it isn't price discrimination. She's simply asking for fair compensation for her efforts in the given situation which as a business owner she is entitled to do.

I would also state that yes, being a provider is different from other professions. However, other professions generally stick to services/time. A lawyer who's defending a rapist who has murdered his victim and has to go through the evidence (as sick as it may be) charges the same hourly rate to defend a bank robber. A therapist charges the same hourly rate to different patients even though some my require more work/involvement than others. A plumber charges the same hourly rate even though one toilet might be clean and another might be covered in shit and smell like it. This is the reason why I use that paradigm. A lawyer can also price discriminate too, don't get me wrong. A client can come in and the lawyer doesn't want to defend them so the client offers more (or the lawyer requests more) and the client pays.

And this is why I asked that you not try to drag other professions into this; it will never transfer or equate. A lawyer, a therapist and a plumber will never face the abuses, violence or social stigma that a sexworker does. If you can't see the difference, you need to perhaps spend sometime learning about our realities rather than trying to label our pricing practices. It seems to me that in spite of your frequent activity here, you truly don't grasp what it is to be a sex worker. Or, you do and simply don't care. Either way, this input is irrelevant.

If "you" refers to me when it comes to gold diggers, wasn't me.

You don't have to say it to imply it. Now that we've established that challenging clients are more work and that isn't price discrimination, your only point left was whether or not providers knowingly overcharge affluent clients. That's an aspect of gold digging, stated as such or not. I've never in my life met a provider that engages in this type of pricing behaviour. So I'm still not seeing anything factual to support the idea that price discrimination happens in the sex trade...

smiles, cat

 

[shack]

What is to be gained by asking to explain if and why they do it?

Because that is what trolls do, getting a bunch of other people all riled up for their amusement.

Time to start calling things the way they are. Sempelton is trolling TERB.

 

[timekeep]

Listen as a provider you set the price that you want to value the service you provide. As a client you are quoted a price for the services you are requesting. If the price is acceptable great, if it's not you move on. If you find out somebody else is quoted a different price who cares that's between those two parties. Seems simple to me.

 

[sempel]

There is no jumping or assuming on my part, I assure you. By declaring that price discrimination is in fact a practice of sex workers, you are essentially ignoring everything I've said. Price discrimination can't be applied here because the provider will have a personally legitimate reason regarding her labour invested for raising her fee. It may not be visible to an outsider but emotional/mental labour is not identifiable nor can it be quantified except by her, the business owner. Even something as simple as bad hygiene requires more mental and physical labour, thereby justifying an increase if she's decided to make that a policy. Not price discrimination imo.



Most providers are more than happy to a little extra work in order to build a solid business, that's a given. But you are talking about when a provider decides to charge a client more than she charges other clients and again, I'm pointing out there is always a justifiable increase in labour for it. You may not see or understand the reason but it's there. Therefore it isn't price discrimination. She's simply asking for fair compensation for her efforts in the given situation which as a business owner she is entitled to do.



And this is why I asked that you not try to drag other professions into this; it will never transfer or equate. A lawyer, a therapist and a plumber will never face the abuses, violence or social stigma that a sexworker does. If you can't see the difference, you need to perhaps spend sometime learning about our realities rather than trying to label our pricing practices. It seems to me that in spite of your frequent activity here, you truly don't grasp what it is to be a sex worker. Or, you do and simply don't care. Either way, this input is irrelevant.



You don't have to say it to imply it. Now that we've established that challenging clients are more work and that isn't price discrimination, your only point left was whether or not providers knowingly overcharge affluent clients. That's an aspect of gold digging, stated as such or not. I've never in my life met a provider that engages in this type of pricing behaviour. So I'm still not seeing anything factual to support the idea that price discrimination happens in the sex trade...

smiles, cat

Then we'll agree to disagree. IMO it is price discrimination, IYO it isn't. But please don't put words into my mouth or trying to imply something that I'm not implying. I asked if ladies will charge a rich client more because OTHERS made this assertion. Maybe the assert this because they feel women are gold-diggers or will gold-dig if given the opportunity. I've always stated I don't think this is the case.

Because that is what trolls do, getting a bunch of other people all riled up for their amusement.

Time to start calling things the way they are. Sempelton is trolling TERB.

Wait, so I create a thread on a review board which others do. I ask a question. There are responses. I'm somehow a troll? Have I insulted anyone? Have I demanded people answer? Have I somehow forced people to answer?

How have I gotten people riled up? They've gotten riled up on their own by reading into things that aren't there. It's a simple question - some people have gone overboard to explain things or gone way off base to talk about discrimination in general or rates being too high.

Listen as a provider you set the price that you want to value the service you provide. As a client you are quoted a price for the services you are requesting. If the price is acceptable great, if it's not you move on. If you find out somebody else is quoted a different price who cares that's between those two parties. Seems simple to me.

 

[Samranchoi]

Just another stupid thread but other than the OP's misguided/misinformed thoughts, there have been some very good comments made by the women in the thread

The word "discrimination" is such an offensive term to use when referring to the topic at hand, especially when there is no proof whatever that any type of price "discrimination" occurs. Obviously the OP has limited intelligence and can't think things through. I swear he gets off (literally) when one of the wonderful women here respond to him. It's ok for all other types of business to offer"dynamic" pricing, why should SP's be any different. After all, they are operating a business. I am just surprised, we as clients have not been exposed more to "dynamic" pricing.

 

[explorerzip]

Then we'll agree to disagree. IMO it is price discrimination, IYO it isn't. But please don't put words into my mouth or trying to imply something that I'm not implying. I asked if ladies will charge a rich client more because OTHERS made this assertion. Maybe the assert this because they feel women are gold-diggers or will gold-dig if given the opportunity. I've always stated I don't think this is the case.



Wait, so I create a thread on a review board which others do. I ask a question. There are responses. I'm somehow a troll? Have I insulted anyone? Have I demanded people answer? Have I somehow forced people to answer?

How have I gotten people riled up? They've gotten riled up on their own by reading into things that aren't there. It's a simple question - some people have gone overboard to explain things or gone way off base to talk about discrimination in general or rates being too high.

Now that you have "proof" that price discrimination happens and got at least one lady to admit that she more or less does it, now what? What does this information do for you exactly?

 

[explorerzip]

I am just surprised, we as clients have not been exposed more to "dynamic" pricing.

Actually, we encounter "dynamic" pricing all the time. Ever tried to park downtown during a game, bought an airline ticket, booked a hotel, bought flowers on Valentine's, etc? All examples of products and services that go up in price based on demand.

 

[Samranchoi]

Actually, we encounter "dynamic" pricing all the time. Ever tried to park downtown during a game, bought an airline ticket, booked a hotel, bought flowers on Valentine's, etc? All examples of products and services that go up in price based on demand.

Exactly, so why should SP's face condemnation if they ever do it. Like I said, stupid thread but considering the source............ In my opinion, anyone that starts a thread such as this shows a total lack of respect for the wonderful women who offer their services to guys needing companionship and sexual satisfaction.

 

[shack]

Exactly, so why should SP's face condemnation if they ever do it.

As far as I can tell, the condemnation was basically a party of one.

stupid thread but considering the source............

He seems to be developing a well deserved reputation.

 

[shack]

Wait, so I create a thread on a review board which others do. I ask a question. There are responses. I'm somehow a troll? Have I insulted anyone? Have I demanded people answer? Have I somehow forced people to answer?

How have I gotten people riled up? They've gotten riled up on their own by reading into things that aren't there. It's a simple question - some people have gone overboard to explain things or gone way off base to talk about discrimination in general or rates being too high.

Tell you what, look at the types of comments you are generating. It is not just me who thinks you are an irritant.

Now that you have "proof" that price discrimination happens and got at least one lady to admit that she more or less does it, now what? What does this information do for you exactly?

Exactly, so why should SP's face condemnation if they ever do it. Like I said, stupid thread but considering the source............ In my opinion, anyone that starts a thread such as this shows a total lack of respect for the wonderful women who offer their services to guys needing companionship and sexual satisfaction.

 

[sempel]

Now that you have "proof" that price discrimination happens and got at least one lady to admit that she more or less does it, now what? What does this information do for you exactly?

What does all information do? Gives a person knowledge. As I said in the first post, just curious. That's all it ever was for me. Clearly it was more than that for others.

Tell you what, look at the types of comments you are generating. It is not just me who thinks you are an irritant.

Considering the two people you have quoted spend their days trolling threads and as soon as they find a comment from me, they write some BS (might be an argument just to say I'm wrong, an insult, etc.), you aren't making the best case.

I don't care if people have a chip on their shoulder or a stick up their butt or whatever. I asked a simple question. I didn't point fingers, I've never said anything was right or wrong but the usual boobs take offense for even asking a question and others get offended like I'm calling them out. If there's somewhere in this thread where I say price discrimination sucks, SP's who do it suck, and if an SP does it to me she can go fly a kite, then I expect people to get riled up. Bunch of skeptics and cynics who see my name and automatically try and discredit me, insult me, etc. Honestly if I had a certain personality, I would sit back, do my thing, and watch the show. But while some people assume I love the drama, I don't. Love a spirited debate, but most of the shit that goes on is not that. Just people with chips on their shoulders getting petty and personal.

Please enlighten me - where have I condemned anyone?

 

[shack]

I asked a simple question. I didn't point fingers, I've never said anything was right or wrong but the usual boobs take offense for even asking a question

Asking the question is not the problem. The problem starts when people answer you and you don't like their answers so you challenge them and challenge them and challenge them. No answer is good enough for you. It is as if you ask the question but have already decided what people should be saying.

If your question was so simple, why is this thread on page 4 and 75 responses. I'll tell you why, it is because you keep pushing it and and no answer is good enough for you. And this has happened in other threads that you get involved in.

So don't play coy with the "simple question" BS.

 

[Jasmine Raine]

Asking the question is not the problem. The problem starts when people answer you and you don't like their answers so you challenge them and challenge them and challenge them. No answer is good enough for you. It is as if you ask the question but have already decided what people should be saying.

If your question was so simple, why is this thread on page 4 and 75 responses. I'll tell you why, it is because you keep pushing it and and no answer is good enough for you. And this has happened in other threads that you get involved in.

So don't play coy with the "simple question" BS.

I don't want to speak for others, but there is a list of close to 20 active posters, if not more, both men and women, who try as they may, can never make a point in a thread with him. He will never stray from his line of thinking and he will never stop challenging you until you are exhausted and decide to stop, or you magically agree with not only his side, but the whole process on how he wore you down.

The coy, passive-aggressive posting style, with harassing tendencies, nitpickiness and overall narcissistic personality traits, you will never be able to explain anything to him. He is so serious about everything he writes as well, there is no way to call him a troll. It is not trolling behaviour. It is worse in my opinion.

Sadly having him on ignoring does not stop it. As other women can attest, he will purposely ignore any requests to be left alone, not to be continually harassed, followed around on the board, or spoken about, assumed about. He has the right to be here so that means to him, he has the right to continue to display behaviour that he has been politely and directly asked to stop. That is the sign of a sick person in my opinion. Someone who feels their "right" to be here which leads to continued hurtful and disruptive behaviour to others trumps their own right to peace. I know I have asked a couple of times now to be left alone and it doesn't work. Neither has it worked for others who have asked.

For example, I asked to not be contacted again after this type of exhausting challenging behaviour started in an email. Funny enough because I was trying to politely explain this behaviour and how it is not helping him. Anyway, that meant to him, not to email anymore. But for some reason, quoting me, speaking to me here on the boards, asking me direct questions, etc was acceptable. Because it was on TERB and not email. So I then asked not to be quoted by him to help him understand what "leave me alone" means. I got basically "Fuck you, I can do what I want" but I will admit the quoting did start to stop after some time.

So the next game was to then not quote me but to make direct assumptions about what I am posting in a thread while posting to another person. I post about my taxation, he posted his assumptions about my taxation, what he felt was left out, trying to fish for me to "explain in more detail" in a passive aggressive "coy" way as you say. Doesn't matter that I kept things vague for a reason.

Then came the assumptions literally in less than 24 hours, in another thread about gifts. When I asked to stop that behaviour and again remind him what "please leave me alone" means, it was another "fuck you, I will do what I want".

Three times I have asked in some way shape or form, please leave me alone and 3 times he has played a game of nitpickiness to continue to harass. I publically got back the fuck you, I will do what I want.

Basically, his feeling is, if I want the behaviour to stop, don't post on TERB. Doesn't matter that this is an extension of my workplace. Just fuck your business, fuck your advertising, fuck everything about you, leave TERB if you don't want to be harassed by me anymore.

Personally, I feel as though not only am I being purposely disrespected, that I am being purposely harassed as well. I feel that I have been polite in my requests to be left alone and have gotten nothing back but disdain mixed with passive-aggressive BS that in his mind justifies this continued behaviour.

I feel as though I am not alone in my feelings as others have expressed the same. I feel the lounge is becoming a less enjoyable place to be because of post after post after post. I want to keep him on ignore, but people quote him so it is there to read, I got PMs about the assumptions being made about taxation, about how I run my business, the number of clients I see and how I see them. Whether I have spoken here about that or not if I am not writing about that in a thread, why are you writing it all for me? Makes no sense to me. I am a big girl, I can clarify for myself if someone asks me and I have the right to decide what I speak about and what I don't.

It is not needed. In my opinion, everything he does it not needed, but fuck you all, he will do it anyway. Why? Because he can.

It will just get to the point were people will have to decide if a single poster is a worth the less participation because ladies will just start leaving. We are not going to continue to participate in a place where we feel harassed. Which is exactly how I feel, regardless of whether he denies it, spends hours writing his reply refuting everything I have written, projecting to show how I am the same as him, and of course telling me that I am not feeling how I am feeling because, in order to feel how I am feeling, X, Y, and Z need to happen. Because you know he says so that automatically makes it so.

Bottomline, these are my feelings on him and his behaviour and how it has affected me directly. I know I am not the only one, and maybe we should all start flooding reporting these posts, this poster, to rid TERB of this continued negative behaviour that is affecting so many people on this board.

Thankfully I have some mainstream things that will hopefully be keeping me busy and off TERB, but it just sucks when one person monopolizes so much time, sucks all effort and energy from everyone else. If the majority have spoken, maybe TERB should look into further.

 

[sempel]

Asking the question is not the problem. The problem starts when people answer you and you don't like their answers so you challenge them and challenge them and challenge them. No answer is good enough for you. It is as if you ask the question but have already decided what people should be saying.

If your question was so simple, why is this thread on page 4 and 75 responses. I'll tell you why, it is because you keep pushing it and and no answer is good enough for you. And this has happened in other threads that you get involved in.

So don't play coy with the "simple question" BS.

It IS a very simple question and could easily have been answered with a yes/no and perhaps included a simple explanation. Notice most of my responses have been trying to "police" the thread in some way shape or form. That's because people seem to divert.

If I ask a question "Do you like eating vegetables?" it's clear a simple response is all that's needed. If people start arguing about the definition of vegetable, does drinking count, they eat food in general, etc., doesn't really answer the question.

How many responses are about discounts or added services? Quite a few. I've simply made it clear many times that discounts, charging more for requested services, etc. don't count but still people will provide examples that don't fit. How many responses talk about the use of "discrimination" and then implied something nefarious? A bunch. That's why this thread is as lengthy as it is.

Again, I asked a question. Sorry I don't control the responses, what people decide to write, what they think, etc.

You say no answer is good enough. That's incorrect. Answers can be good enough but many aren't. Why? Because they either don't answer the question or answer it improperly. If I ask you what you did on Wednesday, and you describe Thursday's activities, I'm going to point out I asked for Wednesday. If you respond "stuff" I'm going to ask for more info. If you provide any other response that has nothing to do with the question asked, it's going to sidetrack things (not that I care). The other thing is I except solid answers. An answer that provides appropriate info, logically makes sense, and has a strong supporting argument/evidence is acceptable. Ton of responses where people just write stuff that doesn't make sense then expect people to accept it.

I'm not playing coy. People read into things, and some people take things too personally. I've posted a few threads where the responses were short and informative. Thread was 5 posts long. Everybody has their part in these little kerfuffle's so if you're going to point a finger at me, look in the mirror as well.

I don't want to speak for others, but there is a list of close to 20 active posters, if not more, both men and women, who try as they may, can never make a point in a thread with him. He will never stray from his line of thinking and he will never stop challenging you until you are exhausted and decide to stop, or you magically agree with not only his side, but the whole process on how he wore you down.

The coy, passive-aggressive posting style, with harassing tendencies, nitpickiness and overall narcissistic personality traits, you will never be able to explain anything to him. He is so serious about everything he writes as well, there is no way to call him a troll. It is not trolling behaviour. It is worse in my opinion.

Sadly having him on ignoring does not stop it. As other women can attest, he will purposely ignore any requests to be left alone, not to be continually harassed, followed around on the board, or spoken about, assumed about. He has the right to be here so that means to him, he has the right to continue to display behaviour that he has been politely and directly asked to stop. That is the sign of a sick person in my opinion. Someone who feels their "right" to be here which leads to continued hurtful and disruptive behaviour to others trumps their own right to peace. I know I have asked a couple of times now to be left alone and it doesn't work. Neither has it worked for others who have asked.

For example, I asked to not be contacted again after this type of exhausting challenging behaviour started in an email. Funny enough because I was trying to politely explain this behaviour and how it is not helping him. Anyway, that meant to him, not to email anymore. But for some reason, quoting me, speaking to me here on the boards, asking me direct questions, etc was acceptable. Because it was on TERB and not email. So I then asked not to be quoted by him to help him understand what "leave me alone" means. I got basically "Fuck you, I can do what I want" but I will admit the quoting did start to stop after some time.

So the next game was to then not quote me but to make direct assumptions about what I am posting in a thread while posting to another person. I post about my taxation, he posted his assumptions about my taxation, what he felt was left out, trying to fish for me to "explain in more detail" in a passive aggressive "coy" way as you say. Doesn't matter that I kept things vague for a reason.

Then came the assumptions literally in less than 24 hours, in another thread about gifts. When I asked to stop that behaviour and again remind him what "please leave me alone" means, it was another "fuck you, I will do what I want".

Three times I have asked in some way shape or form, please leave me alone and 3 times he has played a game of nitpickiness to continue to harass. I publically got back the fuck you, I will do what I want.

Basically, his feeling is, if I want the behaviour to stop, don't post on TERB. Doesn't matter that this is an extension of my workplace. Just fuck your business, fuck your advertising, fuck everything about you, leave TERB if you don't want to be harassed by me anymore.

Personally, I feel as though not only am I being purposely disrespected, that I am being purposely harassed as well. I feel that I have been polite in my requests to be left alone and have gotten nothing back but disdain mixed with passive-aggressive BS that in his mind justifies this continued behaviour.

I feel as though I am not alone in my feelings as others have expressed the same. I feel the lounge is becoming a less enjoyable place to be because of post after post after post. I want to keep him on ignore, but people quote him so it is there to read, I got PMs about the assumptions being made about taxation, about how I run my business, the number of clients I see and how I see them. Whether I have spoken here about that or not if I am not writing about that in a thread, why are you writing it all for me? Makes no sense to me. I am a big girl, I can clarify for myself if someone asks me and I have the right to decide what I speak about and what I don't.

It is not needed. In my opinion, everything he does it not needed, but fuck you all, he will do it anyway. Why? Because he can.

It will just get to the point were people will have to decide if a single poster is a worth the less participation because ladies will just start leaving. We are not going to continue to participate in a place where we feel harassed. Which is exactly how I feel, regardless of whether he denies it, spends hours writing his reply refuting everything I have written, projecting to show how I am the same as him, and of course telling me that I am not feeling how I am feeling because, in order to feel how I am feeling, X, Y, and Z need to happen. Because you know he says so that automatically makes it so.

Bottomline, these are my feelings on him and his behaviour and how it has affected me directly. I know I am not the only one, and maybe we should all start flooding reporting these posts, this poster, to rid TERB of this continued negative behaviour that is affecting so many people on this board.

Thankfully I have some mainstream things that will hopefully be keeping me busy and off TERB, but it just sucks when one person monopolizes so much time, sucks all effort and energy from everyone else. If the majority have spoken, maybe TERB should look into further.

Really?

 

[Samranchoi]

I don't want to speak for others, but there is a list of close to 20 active posters, if not more, both men and women, who try as they may, can never make a point in a thread with him. He will never stray from his line of thinking and he will never stop challenging you until you are exhausted and decide to stop, or you magically agree with not only his side, but the whole process on how he wore you down.

The coy, passive-aggressive posting style, with harassing tendencies, nitpickiness and overall narcissistic personality traits, you will never be able to explain anything to him. He is so serious about everything he writes as well, there is no way to call him a troll. It is not trolling behaviour. It is worse in my opinion.

Sadly having him on ignoring does not stop it. As other women can attest, he will purposely ignore any requests to be left alone, not to be continually harassed, followed around on the board, or spoken about, assumed about. He has the right to be here so that means to him, he has the right to continue to display behaviour that he has been politely and directly asked to stop. That is the sign of a sick person in my opinion. Someone who feels their "right" to be here which leads to continued hurtful and disruptive behaviour to others trumps their own right to peace. I know I have asked a couple of times now to be left alone and it doesn't work. Neither has it worked for others who have asked.

For example, I asked to not be contacted again after this type of exhausting challenging behaviour started in an email. Funny enough because I was trying to politely explain this behaviour and how it is not helping him. Anyway, that meant to him, not to email anymore. But for some reason, quoting me, speaking to me here on the boards, asking me direct questions, etc was acceptable. Because it was on TERB and not email. So I then asked not to be quoted by him to help him understand what "leave me alone" means. I got basically "Fuck you, I can do what I want" but I will admit the quoting did start to stop after some time.

So the next game was to then not quote me but to make direct assumptions about what I am posting in a thread while posting to another person. I post about my taxation, he posted his assumptions about my taxation, what he felt was left out, trying to fish for me to "explain in more detail" in a passive aggressive "coy" way as you say. Doesn't matter that I kept things vague for a reason.

Then came the assumptions literally in less than 24 hours, in another thread about gifts. When I asked to stop that behaviour and again remind him what "please leave me alone" means, it was another "fuck you, I will do what I want".

Three times I have asked in some way shape or form, please leave me alone and 3 times he has played a game of nitpickiness to continue to harass. I publically got back the fuck you, I will do what I want.

Basically, his feeling is, if I want the behaviour to stop, don't post on TERB. Doesn't matter that this is an extension of my workplace. Just fuck your business, fuck your advertising, fuck everything about you, leave TERB if you don't want to be harassed by me anymore.

Personally, I feel as though not only am I being purposely disrespected, that I am being purposely harassed as well. I feel that I have been polite in my requests to be left alone and have gotten nothing back but disdain mixed with passive-aggressive BS that in his mind justifies this continued behaviour.

I feel as though I am not alone in my feelings as others have expressed the same. I feel the lounge is becoming a less enjoyable place to be because of post after post after post. I want to keep him on ignore, but people quote him so it is there to read, I got PMs about the assumptions being made about taxation, about how I run my business, the number of clients I see and how I see them. Whether I have spoken here about that or not if I am not writing about that in a thread, why are you writing it all for me? Makes no sense to me. I am a big girl, I can clarify for myself if someone asks me and I have the right to decide what I speak about and what I don't.

It is not needed. In my opinion, everything he does it not needed, but fuck you all, he will do it anyway. Why? Because he can.

It will just get to the point were people will have to decide if a single poster is a worth the less participation because ladies will just start leaving. We are not going to continue to participate in a place where we feel harassed. Which is exactly how I feel, regardless of whether he denies it, spends hours writing his reply refuting everything I have written, projecting to show how I am the same as him, and of course telling me that I am not feeling how I am feeling because, in order to feel how I am feeling, X, Y, and Z need to happen. Because you know he says so that automatically makes it so.

Bottomline, these are my feelings on him and his behaviour and how it has affected me directly. I know I am not the only one, and maybe we should all start flooding reporting these posts, this poster, to rid TERB of this continued negative behaviour that is affecting so many people on this board.

Thankfully I have some mainstream things that will hopefully be keeping me busy and off TERB, but it just sucks when one person monopolizes so much time, sucks all effort and energy from everyone else. If the majority have spoken, maybe TERB should look into further.

I know of your disdain for me and I am sorry for quoting you but you hit the nail on the head. Soon after he started on this board I could tell what type of online person he was. Extremely lonely in real life and needs to suck up as much attention as he can. You fell for it by becoming his online friend/supporter and somewhere along the way things fell of the rails and now you have become the target of his scorn of being rejected. This shows what type of person he is, whether online or in real life. Other women here get involved in discussions with him but in the end, threads such as this one, outline exactly what he thinks of women in the business. Women here should be celebrated and not be made the subject of comments aimed at hurting their business unless they are really bad providers, but that is what actual reviews are for. Guys should not be criticizing the business practices of women but online the ones that do are just cowards.

Your response gave him 5 minutes of spank bank material. The best thing for women here to do is simply ignore him. I know it's hard but if you all do, maybe, just maybe, he will go away. Save your time and energy on others who truly value you and support what you do.

 

[sempel]

I know of your disdain for me and I am sorry for quoting you but you hit the nail on the head. Soon after he started on this board I could tell what type of online person he was. Extremely lonely in real life and needs to stuck up as much attention as he can. You fell for it by becoming his online friend/supporter and somewhere along the way things fell of the rails and now you have become the target of his scorn of being rejected. This shows what type of person he is, whether online or in real life. Other women here get involved in discussions with him but in the end, threads such as this one, outline exactly what he thinks of women in the business. Women here should be celebrated and not be made the subject of comments aimed at hurting their business unless they are really bad providers, but that is what actual reviews are for. Guys should not be criticizing the business practices of women but online the ones that do are just cowards.

Your response gave him 5 minutes of spank bank material. The best thing for women here to do is simply ignore him. I know it's hard but if you all do, maybe, just maybe, he will go away. Save your time and energy on others who truly value you and support what you do.

If only you could point out somewhere in this thread where I criticized a practice. I never said price discrimination was wrong or bad. So you're wrong as usual.

 

[legmann]

It IS a very simple question

It is a ridiculous question you have attempted to 'intellectualize'.