older guy erectile dysfunction question

[Timntotiminto]

Hey peeps
I'm 57 and I started hobbying last year to see if I still function down there. The truth is that years of porn and self gratification in a frigid marriage has messed with my responses.
Here are my experiences to date. Do they make sense?

1 year ago -

• Connected with a private MP in her condo near Lansdowne and Dupont. She was very kind and gave a decent massage but she was quite chubby. I couldn't get off. i barely got hard. I accepted responsibility and told her it was nerves etc. I then lurked for a year reading backpage and Terb forums and thinking about it
• December met Lilly at Lin Spa. Her enthusiasm, her technique her good vibes - I wasn't as stiff as I would have liked but she was great with her mouth and then different positions. Got off - had a great time.
• Back at Lin Spa - met Kelly - great horny session to completion. Thank you Kelly!
• Then U-Spa - met an older slim trim Thai woman. God she was nice but it didn't happen. She may have been too nice. not particularly sexy. And older. Like could have been fifty. Very trim fifty.

So my batting average is only two out of five. Is it all me? Is it that I need slim women who appeal to me more - or in other words - should I be able to get off with any female?

At 57 I am not a fatty but I don't do sports and I ride my bike to work and walk up five flights many times. Do i need testosterone injections?

How do I get the strength back in the tool? Is it me? Can I improve my situation?

I don't expect a doctors diagnosis but if anyone has relevant experience I would appreciate knowing about it.

Lastly - I don't like going to a condo or for a massage and they are hiding their age and weight behind the door. Where can I find some truly slim trim korean MP or FS Providers. Help!

Older Man After Sweet Korean (OMASK)

 

[mandrill]

We all have our ups and downs and it's not necessarily related to age or physical ability. First of all, sex is better if you do it regularly and have a sex partner - or partners - that you are comfortable with, like and consider attractive. Getting naked with a lady once every few weeks and worrying about your performance is a sure way NOT to have a good time. And you get harder if you're relaxed, horny and HAVING A GOOD TIME! Sex is about having fun, remember!

I take Viagra, but if I am very nervous, I still have difficulty getting / staying hard. Ditto if I am not attracted to the woman. Conversely, when I am chilling in bed with one of my regular girls, I am relaxed, having a great time and HARD!

So my advice is to do this more, worry less and see what happens. If you still have difficulty, there's nothing wrong with popping the little blue pill to make sure everything's in good working order.

 

[PornAddict]

Hey peeps
I'm 57 and I started hobbying last year to see if I still function down there. The truth is that years of porn and self gratification in a frigid marriage has messed with my responses.
Here are my experiences to date. Do they make sense?

1 year ago -

• Connected with a private MP in her condo near Lansdowne and Dupont. She was very kind and gave a decent massage but she was quite chubby. I couldn't get off. i barely got hard. I accepted responsibility and told her it was nerves etc. I then lurked for a year reading backpage and Terb forums and thinking about it
• December met Lilly at Lin Spa. Her enthusiasm, her technique her good vibes - I wasn't as stiff as I would have liked but she was great with her mouth and then different positions. Got off - had a great time.
• Back at Lin Spa - met Kelly - great horny session to completion. Thank you Kelly!
• Then U-Spa - met an older slim trim Thai woman. God she was nice but it didn't happen. She may have been too nice. not particularly sexy. And older. Like could have been fifty. Very trim fifty.

So my batting average is only two out of five. Is it all me? Is it that I need slim women who appeal to me more - or in other words - should I be able to get off with any female?

At 57 I am not a fatty but I don't do sports and I ride my bike to work and walk up five flights many times. Do i need testosterone injections?

How do I get the strength back in the tool? Is it me? Can I improve my situation?

I don't expect a doctors diagnosis but if anyone has relevant experience I would appreciate knowing about it.

Lastly - I don't like going to a condo or for a massage and they are hiding their age and weight behind the door. Where can I find some truly slim trim korean MP or FS Providers. Help!

Older Man After Sweet Korean (OMASK)

Just use viagara or cilias ...problem solved!

 

[Eagleeyes]

Its not just you. Its age related. Happens to all of us over 45. Coal is and Viagra are godsend.

 

[Eagleeyes]

Cialis not coal

 

[Theobservantone]

Hey peeps
I'm 57 and I started hobbying last year to see if I still function down there. The truth is that years of porn and self gratification in a frigid marriage has messed with my responses.
Here are my experiences to date. Do they make sense?

1 year ago -

• Connected with a private MP in her condo near Lansdowne and Dupont. She was very kind and gave a decent massage but she was quite chubby. I couldn't get off. i barely got hard. I accepted responsibility and told her it was nerves etc. I then lurked for a year reading backpage and Terb forums and thinking about it
• December met Lilly at Lin Spa. Her enthusiasm, her technique her good vibes - I wasn't as stiff as I would have liked but she was great with her mouth and then different positions. Got off - had a great time.
• Back at Lin Spa - met Kelly - great horny session to completion. Thank you Kelly!
• Then U-Spa - met an older slim trim Thai woman. God she was nice but it didn't happen. She may have been too nice. not particularly sexy. And older. Like could have been fifty. Very trim fifty.

So my batting average is only two out of five. Is it all me? Is it that I need slim women who appeal to me more - or in other words - should I be able to get off with any female?

At 57 I am not a fatty but I don't do sports and I ride my bike to work and walk up five flights many times. Do i need testosterone injections?

How do I get the strength back in the tool? Is it me? Can I improve my situation?

I don't expect a doctors diagnosis but if anyone has relevant experience I would appreciate knowing about it.

Lastly - I don't like going to a condo or for a massage and they are hiding their age and weight behind the door. Where can I find some truly slim trim korean MP or FS Providers. Help!

Older Man After Sweet Korean (OMASK)

Not a PhD, but I know some basics from research and education. Couple questions to ask yourself:

1) Do you wake up with an erection ever? Like full on?

2) Can you obtain an erection still and go to completion with porn?

If you answer yes to both, it's likely mental instead of physical. It could be performance anxiety, it could be desensitization from all the porn you watched so now normal acts of intimacy don't arouse you. It could be a lot of things.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5039517/

If you care to read, this is a fairly scholarly report on the psychological side of the issue.

Best,
T

 

[sempel]

To the OP, is the issue hardness or getting over the edge?

I am not in your age bracket so I can't speak to anything physical or medical but I can only describe my own experiences. For a while I went to a few MP's and had a number of appointments where I could not be finished. No issue getting hard but a few ladies could not seem to get me over the edge. Sometimes it was technique - too light/soft. Sometimes it was a lack of persistence - they'd get close but would either switch something or slow down or stop before completion. And it seemed like I would get hard but could only maintain it for a certain amount of time before the strain of maintaining was too much. Here are a few of my conclusions

1) Never had an issue by myself so it wasn't a physical or medical issue
2) Some other girls did get the job done so it was definitely girl dependent
3) I found out it was dependent on more than just seeing a naked girl and having her touch me below. Needed more interaction, needed more sensuality, needed the girl to be somewhat engaged.
4) Seeing a girl with her hands/mouth on me was not enough. I needed a boob in hand, DATY, etc.
5) Many girls don't know what we like but are willing to take directions. I've given a few girls some tips and eventually they learned and it's been smooth sailing since.

So, are you able to finish yourself? If yes, not physical, purely mental emotional. You also indicated some girls worked for you, some didn't. Figure out the differences between the two successes and two failures - looks, touch, technique, etc. (BTW, you only gave 4 reviews so I think it's 2/4 not 2/5 unless you forgot one).

The answer to your question is no, you probably shouldn't get off with every female. Not every female will be your COT and get you going. That said, it's not solely based on looks. Been with some extremely hot girls with poor attitudes - not good sessions. Been with some girls that weren't DDG but the nicest kindest ladies and had amazing times. Sometimes personality, kindness, engagement, conversation, etc. are worth more than just looks.

Finally, porn is your friend - use it to figure out what you like. I'm not only talking about the types of girls but the type of stuff that turns you on. Maybe you like a certain look, a certain act, or a certain fetish. Plenty of ladies offer more than just bodyslides and massages (and extras).

 

[Mr Bret]

Hey peeps
I'm 57 and I started hobbying last year to see if I still function down there. The truth is that years of porn and self gratification in a frigid marriage has messed with my responses.
Here are my experiences to date. Do they make sense?

This quoted section suggests that you've had limited action for a while.
Trying something new may be taking you out of your comfort zone. This could be contributing to your issues.
Like most things in life, practice makes perfect.
A few more sessions with more frequency might be just what the doctor ordered.
If not, at least you'll have fun trying.

 

[Frankfooter]

Not a PhD, but I know some basics from research and education. Couple questions to ask yourself:

1) Do you wake up with an erection ever? Like full on?

2) Can you obtain an erection still and go to completion with porn?

If you answer yes to both, it's likely mental instead of physical. It could be performance anxiety, it could be desensitization from all the porn you watched so now normal acts of intimacy don't arouse you. It could be a lot of things.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5039517/

If you care to read, this is a fairly scholarly report on the psychological side of the issue.

Best,
T

Good article.
Basically, if I'm summarizing correctly, watching porn conditions your brain to need increased dopamine to get off.
Once you condition yourself to constant visual stimulation, real time, real women may not do it anymore.
They seem to suggest that weaning yourself off porn will help.

Also key is just getting in shape.

 

[Born2Star]

Doctors say a lot of ED are in our big head, not the small one. From OP description he can do it, just not with every girl. Ever try some real hot sex MPA like from the Premier chain?

(Check your heart first though....)

 

[yermama]

I see this with even young guys.

You consider 35+ young?

 

[sempel]

I highly doubt the OP is spending multiple hours per day jacking off to the point that he cannot function without major stimulus. Some people are reading into his issue way too much. It's clearly a case of finding the right ladies who turn him on. Even his description of the two failures comes down to overweight or not sexy because she was too nice which sounds like he needs a little slutiness?

Even the two success stories sound like he got more than the run-of the mill service (basic massage and HE).

 

[Theobservantone]

Good article.
Basically, if I'm summarizing correctly, watching porn conditions your brain to need increased dopamine to get off.
Once you condition yourself to constant visual stimulation, real time, real women may not do it anymore.
They seem to suggest that weaning yourself off porn will help.

Also key is just getting in shape.

Absolutely. The dopaminergic pathway produces dopamine in response to pleasurable experiences. These experiences can be innate, i.e. sweet tasting foods produce an extremely strong dopamine surge on first consumption, or they can be learned, i.e. drug addicts who become excited at the mere sight of their drug of choice, which at one point wouldn't have elicited a response.

Overtime, however, repeated presentation of a pleasurable stimulus can result in a reduced dopamine response. The way that drugs effect dopamine responses is different so that analogy ends here. But with porn, at first, any and everything is new and exciting. But as you watch the same videos over and over, or same type, with nothing new, the excitement factor drops and less dopamine is produced, which prevents you from achieving full arousal, and maintaining it. Also, with porn, most will fast forward to the good parts, leaving the build up and sensual parts practically never seen.

Perhaps this is why some guys think it normal to walk in to see an SP and expect her to just open wide once hes paid and showered. Some will, some will but take offense, some wont, but it's certainly not a normal way for two human beings to become intimate - it is most certainly learned - I digress.

So, the skipping of the "boring" parts and only watching the "good" parts creates an extremely high standard of stimulation for a real girl to match. With porn, you can go from one extreme to the next with a click, skip build ups, only watch what exactly interests you and so on. This level of stimulation can never be achieved in real life unless at some type of sex dungeon of sorts where you could walk from window to window viewing extreme sexual acts while simultaneously being stimulated....that's essentially what porn provides.

The brain, and body, will always work toward achieving a state of homeostasis, so in response to extreme experiences that cause extreme surges in neurotransmitters (NTMs) and hormones, the body will always reduce production to reach equilibrium - that's what's happening in the brain with extreme porn - its making it less extreme, with the consequence being that normal porn/sex simply can't cut it. This is where the weaning comes in. An absence of extreme stimulation will result in a dip of dopamine levels, and dopamine production will increase to reach homeostasis again. Exercise releases a bunch of "feel-good" hormones and NTMs, it is also one of if not the most effective preventative measure one can take against the development of dementia and the overall reduction of cognitive performance.....I should start weight lifting again now that I'm getting in to this hobby.

I've not done any research on the effects of the death grip CE referred too lol, but it's entirely possible to damage/desensitize nerve endings, resulting in reduced sensitivity to stimuli, at least temporarily.

Best,
T

 

[thirdcup]

Have you thought about becoming a superhero?
https://pagesix.com/2017/06/12/batman-star-adam-west-had-sex-with-eight-women-a-night/

Being a superhero is what I'm now training for.

Apparently chicks love 'em.

 

[essguy_]

The OP should see his doctor. It's possible that it's all in his head (or from too much masturbation which has desensitized his dick to everything except his own hand) but it's also possible that there is a physiological reason for the problem. Besides which, if he's going to go the Viagra or Cialis route then he'll need a prescription anyway.

I'm about the same age and went through a period about 10 years ago where I tried Viagra and Cialis. I was having trouble cumming (could stay hard but took ages to orgasm). In my case, it was stress related (marital stress... LOL!) Both worked and both had their strengths and weaknesses. Viagra gave me hard-ons that were controllable and rock hard (like in my 20's). But found that orgasms were affected (not as intense) and it also made my head (the one on my shoulders) feel congested - even half pills. Cialis worked better for me but also gave me the same congestion. The advantage for Cialis is that you can take it well ahead of time - so gives time for the head congestion to clear. Anyway after the prescription ran out, I didn't renew and haven't had any problems since. One of the things if it is stress related, or in your head, is that stressing about it makes it worse. So it's a negative feedback loop - you're worried about staying hard, and that worry adds to the problem.

Anyway the first stop should be seeing your Doc about this.

 

[jazzbox]

I find that a couple weeks in the gym doing heavy weights improves things dramatically. By that I mean I will spontaneously get woodies without any kind of stimulation and I am 53. I think the weight work triggers testosterone production. Of course, if you over do it you will be tired and that doesn't help. I find 30 minutes 4 times a week does the trick and it helps the appearance also.

 

[rgkv]

My doctor tells me my ED comes from smoking pot for so long...
Was also warned pry to starting my blood pressure pills that this would happen, which is when it started but could be coincidence.

 

[Absalom]

One of the first signs of heart disease is ED. Decreased blood flow to your penis also means decreased blood flow to your heart. So it can be health related.

It also can be due to porn addiction and masturbation. I see this with even young guys. If they masturbate regularly to highly graphic visuals with a death grip they often can’t stay hard or climax with a woman doing oral or sex even if they are attracted to her. Their body is just used to very graphic mental stimulation along with the feeling of your hand and a strong touch often desensitizes smaller nerve endings.

The same can happen with women if they use a magic wand or vibrator on themselves almost exclusively. They get desensitized and then have a hard time enjoying a man going down on them.


I think a little masturbation can be healthy. But a lot of people these days are having problems with porn addiction and too much masturbation (multiple times a day every day).

Good luck.

How do you know if I guy can't get hard due to porn addiction and excessive masturbation? Does he tell you? Or are you that smart?

 

[sempel]

How do you know if I guy can't get hard due to porn addiction and excessive masturbation? Does he tell you? Or are you that smart?

Lol. She doesn't. It's an assumption that really makes no sense. I'm still trying to figure out how she knows so much about excessive masturbation amongst young people, given she sees guys 35+ as someone pointed out.

 

[Timntotiminto]

Guys - Wow! Support! I am using a fake ID so I don't get on here often enough.
To answer everyone - I woke up this morning with an extreme woodie so the blood flow works. I am stressed out at work and have had too much porn and too many selfies.

I am going to exercise and i am going back to see Lily at Lin Spa who was one of my success stories.

Guys - thank you! It tells me that this hobby isn't about selfishness. I really appreciate the women who do the sex work and I appreciate you guys for the support.

Now back to work. I hope everybody gets it on today.

Cheers