should a sp marry a hobbiest?

[fatck]

If they are faithful to each other and trust each other, why not.

But ppl need to be careful, someone may use that take advantage for free dinner, movies, gifts, trips and so on.

 

[Davenash2]

In any solid relationship between couples, it all has to do with common values and interests which only can be gained or experienced over time.
If there is a common value and respect for one another over time, you will both feel it, and this does not exclude escorts or hobbyests.
Its a human factor which I would hope we all have.

This is the best marriages. Common interests, values, hobbies, Friends. I know of a SP that I could probably marry if we dated for awhile. We talk and have so much in common.

 

[RemyMartin]

I know of a SP that I could probably marry if we dated for awhile. We talk and have so much in common.

You do bj for money too.

 

[JessyCeleste]

Why would you ever marry anyone? Because you have a special connection with a person and not "a worker" or "a chick I picked up in a bar."

My work does not define who I am and I wouldn't expect a woman to marry me or not marry me because of my work. In fact I'd steer well clear of someone who doesn't understand that I'm way more than what I do to earn money.

Very well said!!!

 

[JessyCeleste]

Let's flip the question that is commonly asked.

I mean aren't men in this hobby often cheaters, with two phones, and little self control?

Just playing devil s advocate. I realize those are broad generalizations.

Seems we are so quick to judge sps but what about us?

Good question. If I were the SP it wouldn't matter because he wouldn't need a second cel or be forced into lying. For me, loyalty is about honesty and I make it very easy to be honest with me. I get that Im not 20 anymore than Im 50. Im not black anymore than I am Asian. Im not a spinner and Im not voluptuous. I don't buy into the whole, 'Demonstrate you love me by denying yourself pleasure.' I want the person I love to enjoy life to the fullest. The only 'rules' Id have is to be honest, use protection and share whenever possible No man could tell me not to sleep with women, so... I get it lol. It would depend on the expectations of each person. As you said, its a generalization. I guess both parties would have to accept that they met in an unconventional way and will therefore be best served to share unconventional views on love and sex. In my experience former SPs don't tend to be promiscuous with men, sort of a been-there-done-that-time-to-settle-down thing. Everyone is different. Many would be shocked to hear that despite my side-job here, Ive never been promiscuous with men, only seeking love (but a total slut with women, who I am not emotionally err... into). So with me, once Ive got 1 guy Im happy... but the girl thing aint going anywhere. Id be a total hypocrite if I didn't have the same understanding. The fact is, if Im the one he chooses to share his life with, Im #1. The rest is just living life to its fullest. I get Im not the norm per se... but Im definitely not the only one. *shrug* Itd totally depend on each individual, whether its an issue or not in the first place. If jealousy and insecurity are issues (as it is with most folks) then... yeah I imagine both sides of the relationship would be glaring at the other with narrowed eyes... and for me, that's no way to live. Not putting down other relationships.. I just really want to be happy and make my partner in crime happy. I view a spouse as a PARTNER not as a possession to be controlled. We should also consider, when asking these questions, that it takes a certain personality type or a certain philosophy/view on sex wtvr to be an SP. SPs tend not to share the conventional views on female sexuality... so perhaps they don't have the same expectations as most women? I don't know, I of course can only speak for myself. Yes a former SP is less likely to cheat than a former client...but if cheating has nothing to do with having sex with other women and more to do with lying about it... my point is, youd have to be an idiot who loves problems and drama in order to cheat on me lol Im more the, 'Where were you?" "Ooooh really? Does she like girls too? No? Aww... well tell me about it, what was she like?" And Id expect the same level of acceptance when I play with girls who don't want to play with him. But then again...Im kind of a weirdo so I guess the long-winded point Im making is moot anyway lol.But there are others just like me...this I know. So it really depends on the couple working out whats right for them. HOPEFULLY PRIOR to any wedding bells which tie their assets up together.

 

[|2 /-\ | /|/]

... Do I believe it could work ? Yes but only if both partners want the same thing !

BTW ... I am happily married and we share our sexual adventures together and with each other , life is good !

Blue

You speak the truth Blue!

In addition to this you need to accept them for who they are want the best for them. if the other person has this for you then your marriage, your union your relationship is bulletproof and nothing can break it.

Here is my substantiation, BOOM!:

http://www.newagesearch.com/videos-cosmic-and-spiritual-laws-of-the-universe.html
14. The Universal Law of Resistance**
That which you resist, persists; that which you embrace, is erased. This Law is saying that anything that you resist you will attract or draw to you, and you will perpetuate its influence upon your life. Resitance is fear. The Law of resistance assures that you let go of the fear by encountering it until you are forced to deal with it by learning conscious detachement. Most dis-harmonious situations are solved through a change in viewpoint. By changing your perspective you can usually eliminate the effects of a problem. Another aspect of the Law of Resistance states 'that what you resist, you become' either in this lifetime, then in a future incarnation. Since resistance is fear, and the quickest way to overcome fear is to directly experience that which you find so fearful. -

15. The Law of Attraction**
Attention goes where energy flows. You attract what you are, and that which you concentrate upon. If you are negative then you draw in and experience negativity. If you are Loving, then you draw in and experience Love. You can only attract to you those qualities which you posess. If you want Peace and Harmony in your life, you must become Peaceful and Harmonious. Like vibartion attracts like vibration.**

16. The Law of Reflection**
As Within So Without. This Law says that the traits you respond to in others, you recognize in yourself--both positive and negative. It has four primary manifestations: that which you admire in others, you recognize as existing within yourself; that which you resist and react to strongly in others, is surely to be found within yourself; that which you react to dislike in others is something you are afraid exists within you; that which you resist in yourself, you will dislike in others. You have chosen to incarnate unto the physical plane to learn to rise above the effects of fears. Those fears will always be reflected in your reactions to others. Thus, your goals are very obvious once you recognize how to perceive them. As you let go of the fear you automically open to expressing more Unconditional Love.

17. The Law of Unconditional Love**
The expression of Unconditional Love will eventually result in Harmony. Unconditional Love is not romantic love, it's the acceptance of others as they are without judgement or expectation. It is the total acceptance of others without attempting to change them. If you go out of your way to express Unconditional Love, you automatically rise above fear. And as you transend your fears you automatically open to the expression of Unconditional Love.**

22. The Law of Three**
Two, is generally recognized as positive and negative, and becomes a Law only when combined with a neutralizing force. When three, become a unit, neither of the original two are more powerful or larger, and each behaves for itself and the benefit of the whole. Examples are: The Trinity of Father, Son and Holy Ghost; Conscious Mind, Sub-Conscious Mind and Super-Conscious Mind; Mother, Father and Child. When a man and a woman are combined in a neutralized state of marriage, they become a three -

24. The Law of Commitment**
When you become clear on your intent, making a decision and obligating yourself to a task or a belief, everything begins to fall into place--if your direction is in Harmony with the Universe as it relates to your purpose. Once you do this, things begin to happen almost magically, as if you were a magnet drawing into your experience that which is needed for manifestation. The key to this power is to have no indecisiveness at all, and the greater your emotional desire the power you will give to those on the other side who can assist you, and the more rapidly the manifestation.

25. The Law of Dissonance**
This Law states that you are going to experience mental discomfort when you hold two conflicting beliefs, or when your actions don't agree with your beliefs. When your beliefs and actions are incompatable, you will attempt to reduce the resulting discomfort by changing either your actions or your beliefs. Instead of changing thebehavior that conficts with ones beliefs, many will attempt to justify or rationalize the belief or action. The Law of Dissonance is also known as the Law of Self Dillusion.

31. The Law of Denial**
When you refuse to deal with a highly emotional issue, or refuse to take responsibility for an unpleasant situation, you avoid living up to your potential. Such things can be put off for lifetimes, but the effect will be experienced mentally, physically, or as a lifestyle manifestation, untill you correctly Balance the situation. -

38. The Law of Self Destruction**
As a natural expression of the Law of Duality, that which is totally succesful ends to destroy itself. There are many examples of this. Once total succes is attained there is no more challenge and self destruction follows. Subconsciously the desire to experience the challenge again, unless you challenge yourself, you will stagnate. Remember that you are energy, and stagnation is self destruction. Energy can not stand still because by its very nature it must move forward or backward.

41. The Law of Self Worth**
You can only attract to you that which you feel worthy of. Your self esterm is critical to your happiness and succes. You are not what you have and you are not what you do. Beneath your fear programming, you are perfect--an enlightened soul fully self-actualized, and a living example of unconditional Love. it is only lifetimes of fear-based programming that are keeping you from acknowleging who you really are. The more you can let go of the fears, the higher your self esteems and the more options you will have, and the more risks you will take. The better you like yourself, the better others will like you, and the more worthy you will feel.**

45. The Law of Belief**
You can have anything you want if you can give up the belief that you can't have it, and as long as what you want doesn't doesn't conflict with someone elses belief. For example, If you desire a fulfulling relationship, but demand it to be with a particular person, then you are not operating in Harmony with the Universe.

here is the video of the above...Universal Laws RARE Life altering concepts https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0h_Ij8YAVU

 

[TeasePlease]

It's the easiest thing for a man to run back to the hobby when a relationship hits a rough patch.

Ladies know that.

 

[harwell1690]

Those of us who have found love in the strangest of places appreciate your neutrality. I found love, left the business and Im living proof it can happen but I know its rare.

Your particular love may be rare. Love is not rare. It is everywhere, in almost everything we say and do. Although it may not be love of a human being. And it may be expressed in a perverted (ie, hateful) way. But usually hate is only the opposite of love.
Anyway, I can one breathe without love. Love of something. And hope.

Many have been hurt, so they fear to let the depth of their love out to play. Still, it is there.

But love and sacrifice and ethics....not that gets very very complicated.

 

[Lily Divine]

I totally agree with all of this , however I have a question . You mention being with other woman in the relationship so does that mean you would only be with woman and no men ? Would that be your choice if so of your partners ? And I gather its ok with you that he is free to be with other ladies ?

I must tell you I was in a relationship that I wanted to be like the above . We met as provider and client developed a relationship . I was not asked to leave the industry but was told he wouldn't be able to handle me being with other guys so if I wanted a relationship with him I would have to figure out a way to make that happen so I did , never to return even in the worst of times financially and with a lot of temptation as most of my clients and I were very close and many I kept as dear friends who would on occasion suggest we get together to relive the past . I NEVER once took them up on this but temptation was always there . That being said I didn't ask him to not hobby anymore , in fact early on there were times I paid for him to have a lap dance or 2 or to see an MA etc . I was ok with this and wanted to hear all about it but all the years of having to keep it a secret or having to lie about it had become a habit ! He had a hard time sharing it with me , was not detailed , played it down and would always say the session was just ok but kept doing it quite frequently and mostly with the same ladies . It was just ok but he repeated which told me it was more then ok . I didn't want to deny him of things he found pleasurable what bothered me was he lied about how often and who he visited and did not share the visits with me even though I told him just tell me about it . For many years I lived with this , all I wanted is for him to be totally honest with me and talk to me about it . I didn't understand why that was so hard to which he replied the same thing every time '' all the years of having to hide it and lie about it , he was not used to being able to share it with a partner . I had many friends in this industry and they were only too happy to share with me when or if they knew he saw someone . I even sometimes provoked conversation at times . The lies , dishonestly , lack of respect and the fact that he didn't believe me when I told him I wanted to know and hear all about it is what got to me ! Do I believe it could work ? Yes but only if both partners want the same thing !

BTW ... I am happily married and we share our sexual adventures together and with each other , life is good !

Blue

This... I don't know if you are the woman I know (doubtful because I am pretty sure I know her handle), but your stories are nearly identical (remarkably so). Though she's not currently remarried... Yet!

So all I will say is no matter how open the relationship it is my experience that you can watch it implode quickly if there is a lack of honesty and trust.

Trust is and always will be complex... but honesty should be simple. Especially when someone is given full autonomy with the caveat of disclosure.

Isn't it funny... the hobby is often far more honest than what are supposed to be loving, committed relationships.

Lily