should a sp marry a hobbiest?

[|2 /-\ | /|/]

Why in the world if you are hobbying would you ever marry a worker?

Why in the world would anyone want to treat marriage as a businesses transaction, and yet so many do LOL...and thus we scratch our head on the actual statistics after the fact LOL! Nothing wrong with marrying who ever you want to and choose to, why let anyone shame you into not doing it. Are you that pathetic and weak seeking for peoples approval all the time just like the media wants you to believe.

 

[Born2Star]

The thread quickly turns back into whether the guy should marry a worker. That's not what FC meant to start for the thread. I'm glad a few ladies like Sophie chimed in as I'm always curious : what's the ladies perspective about the hobbyist? Yes, we from both sides all say don't find love there. I'm sure when the ladies started working they're advised / coached never to go out with clients. However we all know it happens more than often. (Yes it happened to me too but I'm married so it can only stopped at friendship.)

A good lady would see several guys per shift so I was always assuming she's "seen it all" and would be quite jaded / guarded even when some hobbyists are really good gentlemen.

Maybe we're all human and it just happens? That's the only explanation I have...

 

[Titalian]

In any solid relationship between couples, it all has to do with common values and interests which only can be gained or experienced over time.
If there is a common value and respect for one another over time, you will both feel it, and this does not exclude escorts or hobbyests.
Its a human factor which I would hope we all have.

 

[Born2Star]

In any solid relationship between couples, it all has to do with common values and interests which only can be gained or experienced over time.
If there is a common value and respect for one another over time, you will both feel it, and this does not exclude escorts or hobbyests.
Its a human factor which I would hope we all have.

+1 !!

 

[ParkersPillows]

Why not? If that's what they want and they have a really solid relationship. There's the possible situation where neither of them have a problem that one is an SP and continues to be work, and that the other is a hobbyist and continues to hobby. That's how I would view it if I was in that situation, but I would only be with someone who thinks along the same lines.

 

[ParkersPillows]

In any solid relationship between couples, it all has to do with common values and interests which only can be gained or experienced over time.
If there is a common value and respect for one another over time, you will both feel it, and this does not exclude escorts or hobbyests.
Its a human factor which I would hope we all have.

+1000000000000000

 

[frankcastle]

Spelling aside

My point is that we spend so much time looking at it from our side. Yet we have no regard cor their side.

Most of these women are probably jaded as they see all manners of cheaters and liars and anglers and players.

Sure maybe you are the exception. ...... the guy who is honest and can stop any time. But how many of you are out there and would a lady take a chance.

 

[fuji]

I'm not convinced. There are studies that show modern teens are LESS sexually active than previous generations and that monogamy rates are on the rise.

It appears to be a counter intuitive result of greater acceptance of the sexual revolution. The odd result is that since it's less forbidden, people are less promiscuous. And because people in relationships now engage in more open sexual behavior within the relationship (thanks to porn giving everybody role models), people feel less need to seek sex outside the relationship. Another factor is that people are delaying committed relationships until they are older than in the past, and people cheat less as they age.

So while there's definitely more openness around sex now, monogamy for some odd reasons is actually on the rise.

 

[fuji]

where does it say monogamy is on the rise?

Here's an example:

http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_facto...line_for_gay_and_straight_couples_alike_.html

To be clear, it isn't saying people are monogamous in a "no sex until marriage" sense, but that once they do commit to a relationship they are remaining faithful more than in the past.

Infidelity seems to have peaked in the 1970s, which may have been a product of people getting married too early and for the wrong reasons. There's less pressure to get married/committed now so when people finally do they are cheating less.

 

[fuji]

Here's an example:

http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_facto...line_for_gay_and_straight_couples_alike_.html

To be clear, it isn't saying people are monogamous in a "no sex until marriage" sense, but that once they do commit to a relationship they are remaining faithful more than in the past.

Infidelity seems to have peaked in the 1970s, which may have been a product of people getting married too early and for the wrong reasons. There's less pressure to get married/committed now so when people finally do they are cheating less.

And on teens today being less sexually active:

http://www.usnews.com/news/blogs/da...-declines-in-teen-sexual-activity-pregnancies

 

[frankcastle]

you guys all have such an archaic view of relationships.

infidelity isn't even going to be a thing anymore in a few generations. it already isn't for many in my generation, me included. as someone mature enough to handle being in an open relationship, i can tell you it's really the best of both worlds.

http://www.rollingstone.com/feature/millennial-sexual-revolution-relationships-marriage

There are some people into open relationships.

But not enough that you could walk into a relationship and assume that an open relationship is on the table for discussion.

Jealousy and insecurity are common human emotions.

 

[igotaboner]

Why in the world if you are hobbying would you ever marry a worker?

Why would you ever marry anyone? Because you have a special connection with a person and not "a worker" or "a chick I picked up in a bar."

My work does not define who I am and I wouldn't expect a woman to marry me or not marry me because of my work. In fact I'd steer well clear of someone who doesn't understand that I'm way more than what I do to earn money.

 

[|2 /-\ | /|/]

Why would you ever marry anyone? Because you have a special connection with a person and not "a worker" or "a chick I picked up in a bar."

My work does not define who I am and I wouldn't expect a woman to marry me or not marry me because of my work. In fact I'd steer well clear of someone who doesn't understand that I'm way more than what I do to earn money.

BOOM! blows it to pieces like a sitting duck in a pond. :thumb: well stated.

 

[notthemama]

I met my ex in bed and how did that turn out?:doh:






Mind you she was in the same hospital room as my mother.:bounce:

 

[fuji]

ok but this study doesn't at all account for relationships between unmarried people.

"For instance, the only heterosexual couples mentioned are married, but gay couples who are committed but have no formal union were also recorded."

most millennials are not married and most millennials in open relationships are even less likely to be married. these are two separate issues.

Sure. You can always play the "more study needed" card, but we have two data points: monogamy is increasing in all the types of relationships examined, and teens are less sexually active now than in the past (despite what you see on YouTube videos).

Millennials ARE starting committed relationships, but they are starting then later. They are not getting married just because it's expected, but they are starting families and settling down when they are ready, and when they do they are likely going to be more monogamous than previous generations.

The explanation is not that people have become more prudish. Teens are becoming less sexually active because they have better information and it's less taboo so they are making better choices. Monogamy is increasing because people aren't being pushed into relationships out of pure social pressure, but instead committing when they have a reason to.

 

[frankcastle]

i walk into every relationship assuming an open relationship is on the table for discussion because i only date partners who are open-minded enough to at least give it healthy consideration. jealousy and insecurity may be common in a society that encourages monogamy as the desirable model for relationships, but that doesn't mean they can't be overcome with maturity and trust and open communication. just because they're common emotions doesn't mean they're particularly healthy either.

check out the ethical slut if you actually care to learn more about this topic - it's like the bible for polyamorists.

also my point is that in my generation, it is becoming more and more common that it's no longer crazy for someone to suggest to their partner that they try it out. in fact, almost all my friends are either in an open relationship or have seriously considered it as a current option or an option in the future.

monogamy isn't the standard - if anything divorce rates and human impulse have taught us, having multiple partners is the more likely standard. humans weren't meant to only fuck one person for the rest of their lives. it's simply not what we're built for.

Head of the book..... it's an old book.

But you are missing my point.

"more common" is not the same as "common"

I would agree that it is "more common" but I wouldn'ts say it is "common"

In other words there are less women open to an open relationship and even less that are able to make it work long term (much like monogamous relationships or any other type for that matter)

 

[John Henry]

i walk into every relationship assuming an open relationship is on the table for discussion because i only date partners who are open-minded enough to at least give it healthy consideration. jealousy and insecurity may be common in a society that encourages monogamy as the desirable model for relationships,

also my point is that in my generation, it is becoming more and more common that it's no longer crazy for someone to suggest to their partner that they try it out. in fact, almost all my friends are either in an open relationship or have seriously considered it as a current option or an option in the future.

With that being said , almost all of your friends are either in an open relationship or have seriously considered as an option really doesn't mean anything . These are the type of people that you seek out and make as your friends . That life style is what you want so you would like your friends to have that same style of life is it not .

If you happen to meet a man who's not into an open relationship then you gone , out of here . How many times has that happened ??? You seek your type of life style so most of your friends would have the same life style . In other words you say look at all of the people that wish to be on an open relationship and say wow so many of us are on the same page when really that's the type of people that you seek out .

Just like a person who likes to go to church every Sunday and tries to follow the bible . That person will seek out people that have the same life style and beliefs as them . Now they can say wow , look at all of the people that wish to follow the bible .

A drug addict will have friends that sell and buy drugs . Does that mean that the drug addict can now say , wow this is the norm these days with so many people that I know are taking drugs .

Just because you know so many people who are in open relationships or who might want to be doesn't mean that's the norm these days . Telling us about a book that someone wrote is nothing . There are plenty of other books that will have a different view point . Now are those books wrong in what they are saying because those books are not agreeing with your life style and the one that you are saying is . In other words you look at that book as some kind of verification for your life style .

 

[lomotil]

i walk into every relationship assuming an open relationship is on the table for discussion because i only date partners who are open-minded enough to at least give it healthy consideration. jealousy and insecurity may be common in a society that encourages monogamy as the desirable model for relationships, but that doesn't mean they can't be overcome with maturity and trust and open communication. just because they're common emotions doesn't mean they're particularly healthy either.

check out the ethical slut if you actually care to learn more about this topic - it's like the bible for polyamorists.

also my point is that in my generation, it is becoming more and more common that it's no longer crazy for someone to suggest to their partner that they try it out. in fact, almost all my friends are either in an open relationship or have seriously considered it as a current option or an option in the future.

monogamy isn't the standard - if anything divorce rates and human impulse have taught us, having multiple partners is the more likely standard. humans weren't meant to only fuck one person for the rest of their lives. it's simply not what we're built for.

Multiple partners likely leads to multiple problems since many tangents may occur and there is no cure for jealousy and the need for security and exclusivity with respect to attention for many of us. Not everyone likes to share sex partners in civilian life.

 

[SexB]

Like I keep saying each time this subject comes up; I have SPs I enjoy seeing and I also like to think enjoy my company but at the end of the day, I'm realistic about our relationship.

 

[Titalian]

I guess when it comes to a relationship between a hobbyist (Thank you Don Draper) and provider, there has to be some give and take, and this
is what this thread is truly about. Maturity and trust do play a big role in the successful outcome in such a relationship.
And as said above common values. If I were to get seriously involved with an escort, I personally would stop hobbying but
I would never convince her to quite, especially if she needed the money because of personal obligations. I know of one such
relationship, they are very close and he also quit the hobby, but he is totally supportive of her. What I can tell about their
relationship is that it is built on trust, common values and maturity. And this is what separates successful relationships such
as these to total disaster.