Would you marry an SP?
- Thread starter piratepete
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Because of the importance of this question, I took the time to google the names for pluralities of animals: http://www.thealmightyguru.com/Pointless/AnimalGroups.html
Looking at the list, my bet for what a bunch of whores should be called, is "a bevy of whores"
I've just finished reading through this long thread, and it's amazing to me how many posters are seriously in denial of reality when it comes to the differences between male and female sexuality.
Unless human beings have been redesigned and no-one has told me, there is a large difference, on average, between the number of partners a woman is prepared to have and the number that a man would have, given the opportunity.
In short, most guys are perpetually horny, and will apply low to non-existent standards in order to have sex with as many women as possible.
Women are normally much more selective. Why? There's a large number of reasons, including: a) lower overall sexual drive, b) the difficulties that many women have achieving orgasm, thereby reducing the pleasure they receive from sex, c) the disproportionate consequences of unwanted pregnancies that fall upon women, d) a wider variety of goals in connection with dating (finding a husband, financial support (even at the lower level of picking up the costs of dating), e) meeting the expectations of her parents/friends in her choice of boyfriends, f) taking part in group (or at least 2 person) activities that aren't sexual (vacations, travel, dinner outings, etc.), and g) the list could go on and on. If this wasn't true, there would be just as many male SPs as female SPs, and we all know that the number is not even close.
As a result of the normal selectivity of women, it is unusual for women to have slept with as many partners as men of the same age. What does that mean? How can that work out mathematically? Well, it means that men are sleeping with higher numbers by: a) many men sleeping with the same civilian women, and b) men having sex with SPs.
Because almost everyone shares this understanding, when a woman says she's slept with a unusually large number of men, it raises a red flag. Any intelligent person would want to know why that had happened. There could be many answers. Maybe it means she was an SP. Maybe it means she was/is very insecure and thought that putting out would make guys more committed to her/like her better. Maybe she honestly doesn't know what she wants, so she tries absolutely everything trying to figure that out. Maybe she got/gets drunk/high way too much and her inhibitions weren't/aren't at the level of most people. Maybe she trades sex for money, favour, advancement, etc. Maybe she is that ultra rare woman that has an exceedingly high sex drive.
In any event, any reasonable person would not marry a woman without knowing this much about her. He might accept the reason, or he might not be able to accept it. He's better off knowing, and walking away if he needs to. Even if he thinks she's flawed, he may also think that she has positive attributes that make living with her flaws acceptable.
So for those posters who have said "women are allowed to have sex, just like men, so stop being so judgmental", I'd say that you're either kidding yourself, or you're not looking after your own best interests.
Unless human beings have been redesigned and no-one has told me, there is a large difference, on average, between the number of partners a woman is prepared to have and the number that a man would have, given the opportunity.
In short, most guys are perpetually horny, and will apply low to non-existent standards in order to have sex with as many women as possible.
Women are normally much more selective. Why? There's a large number of reasons, including: a) lower overall sexual drive, b) the difficulties that many women have achieving orgasm, thereby reducing the pleasure they receive from sex, c) the disproportionate consequences of unwanted pregnancies that fall upon women, d) a wider variety of goals in connection with dating (finding a husband, financial support (even at the lower level of picking up the costs of dating), e) meeting the expectations of her parents/friends in her choice of boyfriends, f) taking part in group (or at least 2 person) activities that aren't sexual (vacations, travel, dinner outings, etc.), and g) the list could go on and on. If this wasn't true, there would be just as many male SPs as female SPs, and we all know that the number is not even close.
As a result of the normal selectivity of women, it is unusual for women to have slept with as many partners as men of the same age. What does that mean? How can that work out mathematically? Well, it means that men are sleeping with higher numbers by: a) many men sleeping with the same civilian women, and b) men having sex with SPs.
Because almost everyone shares this understanding, when a woman says she's slept with a unusually large number of men, it raises a red flag. Any intelligent person would want to know why that had happened. There could be many answers. Maybe it means she was an SP. Maybe it means she was/is very insecure and thought that putting out would make guys more committed to her/like her better. Maybe she honestly doesn't know what she wants, so she tries absolutely everything trying to figure that out. Maybe she got/gets drunk/high way too much and her inhibitions weren't/aren't at the level of most people. Maybe she trades sex for money, favour, advancement, etc. Maybe she is that ultra rare woman that has an exceedingly high sex drive.
In any event, any reasonable person would not marry a woman without knowing this much about her. He might accept the reason, or he might not be able to accept it. He's better off knowing, and walking away if he needs to. Even if he thinks she's flawed, he may also think that she has positive attributes that make living with her flaws acceptable.
So for those posters who have said "women are allowed to have sex, just like men, so stop being so judgmental", I'd say that you're either kidding yourself, or you're not looking after your own best interests.
I think you are still living in the Middle Ages where women were forced to use chastity belts. There is nothing wrong with women that had many partners, specially service providers. Their profession is the same or even better than others. Is just a job, same as a nurse or an accountant, polititian, etc.
Why do you insult them by saying that there must be something wrong with them? I take care of myself and I'm not kidding when I say that I would marry a sp if we Are a match.
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You leave out social pressures. While it's not as prevalent today, it wasn't long ago when the difference between male and female promiscuity was black and white. A guy who slept around was a stud, a woman was a whore...and not in the sense that she got paid for it. Like I said, that line of thinking is petering out, but its legacy endures and is ingrained in many minds today. That is at least somewhat responsible for the divide in number of sexual partners, wouldn't you say?
I've never really directly asked how many partners a woman has had before I met her. Sometimes it comes out anyway, but I surely don't hold it against her. Why would you? Because it's not "normal"? Maybe most women downplay how many partners they've had because they don't want to look promiscuous. So is it really a surprise that a more sexually liberated woman, say an SP, wouldn't care as much about conforming to societal norms? And therefore look more promiscuous than the average woman?
The difference is the social stigma. If you marry an SP you have to be prepared to deal with what other people think. If it only mattered what the couple did in private this wouldnt be an issue. But marriage is a public thing.
I have said I would marry an ex SP, but I can understand that someone wouldn't want the baggage that brings with it. I wouldn't want to deal with the baggage of being with an active SP.
Everybody has their own line to draw.
If you don't understand what baggage comes with being a former SP or being married to one then really you shouldn't marry one.
you know less about this then 9/11. look in your own backyard before you judge someone else. Everyone has issues Fugi, I doubt an sp would be able to tolerate your bs . So dont worry about it
I'm a latecomer to this thread but wanted to add my two cents (For whatever it's worth). I have met numerous wonderful ladies. Only wished that I could settle down with one of them!
There are many successful SPs in successful marriages. It is all about the people involved. Some are more mature and capable then others. This thread certainly proves that.
You could not settle down with any of them because you
prefer a civi? Or is it because you are not loaded?
What are you disputing? That there is a public stigma to the industry? Seriously??
In any case I didn't judge anyone. I simply pointed out that others do. We live in a society that is very judgemental, to the point that laws like c36 get passed. Quite a lot of Canadians think every SP is a victim and are highly judgmental.
Do I agree? No. But if you are an EX SP, or married to one, you a will have to deal with that. Clearly you are OK with dealing with it or you wouldn't have a blue handle on terb, but don't presume that everyone is OK with it.
Many people who think the judgmental attitudes of our society are bullshit nevertheless don't want to be judged, or deal with the issues that results in.
Others care less what society thinks and are going to see no issue in dating a former SP or even a current one.
Deal with what exactly? So what if they judge you it only bothers the weak who are afraid to be them self.
If you are established, have a solid job, and have a steady cash flow, who gives a fuck what they say, what they think or how they look at you. I am in this situation, not to this degree, but always deal with it because I am in multiracial marriage. When I see some of her family I get reverse discrimination, when she sees mine, it is there sometimes. When I take her back to my home country, almost everyone stares, some villages never seen a brown person, but it does not bother us. We are stronger then this. Both do our thing, and are comfortable in our skin even when the worst most hurtful and hateful attitude is directed towards us, we know how to deal with it. When there is love all this other stuff becomes trivial. I have cut off some of my family when the crossed the line and am prepared to do it again if I need to.
Why do you care so much what people will say. Why would she (xSP) care what they say if she loves you. How do you actually know that you fuji, could find the right mate in an SP? How do you know she will love you back if you have this weak attitude and afraid of being judged, and afraid how she will react, and how you will react to her reaction. Why don't you just write her a script then, and make her sign it?
All this stuff you said about society being judgmental is a non issue if you're both on one side, have each others back, and there is some kind of true love for each other.
You need to understand that there is not only the Fuji way, maybe just maybe the majority of people do not think and live like you, and you are the issue not the people judging you. Although I work in a place that has a couple of your kind...and I think I understand why you think like this. Maybe you can seek some helpfully psychiatric advice and get an assessment, pretty sure the terb croud can help you with a couple of good referrals.
If you read up you will see that I agree and that I would marry an ex SP. People are flipping out because I said I can understand why someone else would not, and I noted that I myself would not want the even greater baggage of marrying an active SP.
As for who gives a fuck what others say, some people do give a fuck.
As for who gives a fuck what others say, some people do give a fuck.
You are missing the point. With this attitude about your party examples and how she will react, to prepare for it, to talk about it before it happens...etc....as foxxxy lady puts it you will not find a SP that will love you and want to marry you with this kind of attitude. How can you not see that it is not about you, Fuji. This is about two people becoming one.
You saying you will marry an xSP is irrelevant if you can't find an SP that will want to marry you with this kind of mindset.
Several years ago while visiting close friends the neighbours came by. Well the drinks were flowing and the wife neighbour asked me straight out. Was your wife a stripper? Now the subtle clues were her looks and the fact that she is foreign. Wasn't too sure what to say, people who know me know I don't give a F, but maybe my wife isn't crazy about close friends knowing. I took from it that this was discussed between my friends and their neighbors. So I told them, it didn't change the relationship.
My parent, well lets just say my mom could speak the Queen's English, they were shocked at first but I later told them that my wife would be the best daughter in-law that they could ever hope for, twenty years later and my wife is still the favorite.
To each their own, like I said I personally wouldn't want to marry a SP or xSP but I wouldn't want to marry a lady with a child either. My Choice.
I am not a hypocrite either, I don't see SPs and never went to a MP where the likelihood of high mileage was expected.
My parent, well lets just say my mom could speak the Queen's English, they were shocked at first but I later told them that my wife would be the best daughter in-law that they could ever hope for, twenty years later and my wife is still the favorite.
To each their own, like I said I personally wouldn't want to marry a SP or xSP but I wouldn't want to marry a lady with a child either. My Choice.
I am not a hypocrite either, I don't see SPs and never went to a MP where the likelihood of high mileage was expected.
