Well said. A few years ago my sister asked me to lend her $10000 for a "pension buyback". She repaid it within 6 months. Neither of us has mentioned it since.
A friend learned a hard lesson......
- Thread starter Ed Thomas
- Start date
For me it wasn't the financial loss, but the loss of a friendship from our youth, which we had, had for for such a long time.
I've been dinged about 3 times where I've lent significant amounts of money to people. It took me about 3 times to learn my lesson. If any of my close family needed money, I'm not expecting it back. If I get it back, great, but at least I'm not counting on it. Anytime anyone ask me to borrow money now, I just say "things are tight and I can't afford it."
The problem is, I'm one of those guys that comes across as a really nice guy so people try to take advantage of that. No more lending money for me...
The problem is, I'm one of those guys that comes across as a really nice guy so people try to take advantage of that. No more lending money for me...
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...and you need to accept that from the outset.
You do better to say, "This is a gift, pay it back if and when you can.", and ACTUALLY mean it.
Never lend more than you can afford to lose. I've lent several friends/family members money over the years....some have managed to pay back, others haven't. since I went into the transaction with no expectations of a return....the results didn't bother me. However, some of those I lent to, were bothered....made ongoing friendship difficult. But that is their problem...I can't lend them money and be responsible for how they feel about it!
C"est la vie.
C"est la vie.
Brothers and sisters, or parents (although that's usually the other way around for the latter) - no problem.
Cousins? Ahhh, no.
Probably worse than a loan is investments. I should've sued my cousin to try to recover some money from his insurance (he didn't cause the loss, but he promoted and sold, with too many eggs in one basket).
Cousins? Ahhh, no.
Probably worse than a loan is investments. I should've sued my cousin to try to recover some money from his insurance (he didn't cause the loss, but he promoted and sold, with too many eggs in one basket).
One of my favourite movies Teal!
it's the same thing as never repeating a mistake again. You learn from it and move on.
My dad had a nephew who borrowed from another nephew back in the 60s (my dad told the creditor nephew not to lend it to his other nephew - these creditors were cousins). It was like $10 Gs or less, but the cost of a Camaro or something like that.
He never paid it back and to avoid the shame and embarrassment, he moved to a different part of Canada.
The sad thing is, years later, there was still this shame and he never re-connected with the rest of us, even with his grown kids who grew up all right and would'be been great cousins to know.
Some American fan accidentally threw his football through a side window of my car at a Buffalo Bills tailgate party.
Would you believe he mailed me a bank draft for the damage (I'm from T.O.)?
A good guy.
I am the same way. When I lend out money - I really take the attitude that I'm helping a worthy friend / family and if I get paid back - it's a bonus. I have no idea how much I have lent my brother (not anywhere near $20K because I don't have it) but I know times are tough with him and he hates asking so I know he needs it. I never say anything because I don't want him having any second thoughts about picking up the phone to say 'hi'. The largest sum with him was a month's rent. I know that if he did get things turned around - he would repay me.
Well it was clearly gnawing on him. I friend did me a favor and brought some mail order items I wanted with him on his stopover from the US. Stupid me did not have exact change so I was $4 short. I still sent him the $5 by Paypal even though he did not make a big deal of it. NEVER punish people for helping you. That should be a cardinal rule in life.
Not surprising, there are a lot of really nice and good people in the US. They kind of get fucked up by media and a few other things.
That is awesome, I lent a guy in university $10 based on that exact same principal.....
I can name 3 SPs who owe me money and never paid it back.
I can name another 3 who owed me and DID pay it back.
I see $200 or $300 loans as a test of character. I won't miss the money, but it tells me everything I need to know if they don't pay me back.
Just lent a friend 10k last week. Promised to have it back in 3 months. We shall see.
I can name another 3 who owed me and DID pay it back.
I see $200 or $300 loans as a test of character. I won't miss the money, but it tells me everything I need to know if they don't pay me back.
Just lent a friend 10k last week. Promised to have it back in 3 months. We shall see.
He he he. I've had mostly good stories about that. When it was repayment in kind in one case, I may have taken a loss. (I prefer not to mix business with pleasure).
