A friend learned a hard lesson......

[Ed Thomas]

Never... never loan money to a family member..... especially one you hardly see or talk to...

So this guy i know loaned some cash ( between $400-$500) to a cousin, (that has no job by the way) one he hardly sees or talks to besides family gatherings after he asked him for it and stated he'd pay it back in 3 days.... At the deadline he got a text from the guy stating he was not available to pay him back cause he was out of town but will do so 2 days after that. Then he asked if it was ok. Of course my silly friend told him it was not ok bult let have the extra time.... Because he is... 'family'.

You all know the rest of the story folks.


He's STILL waiting and he's STILL an idiot that got played just like a told him. He didn't ask what the cash was for and figured wrong that 'family' would not fuck him over.... When he relayed this story to me all i could tell him is kiss it goodbye and move on and not to ever make that mistake again..... ever!!

 

[out4fun]

I only lend money to family with the expectation that I will never see it again. I'm out over 20k and counting. I figure if someone is willing to burn family over a few dollars then they need the money more than I do. I still sleep fine at night.

 

[theycallmebruce]

I only lend money to family with the expectation that I will never see it again. I'm out over 20k and counting. I figure if someone is willing to burn family over a few dollars then they need the money more than I do. I still sleep fine at night.

When lending money to family or friends, you need to accept the fact that you may never ever get it back.

 

[MissCroft]

When lending money to family or friends, you need to accept the fact that you may never ever get it back.

I used to loan people money but not anymore. I have never, ever been paid back.

 

[COMMANDER KIRK]

Any money advanced to family or friends is a gift. That's it. If you cannot accept that, hold onto your cash.

I've been repaid occasionally, but far more often it is a one-way transaction, so I treat any returns as found money.

 

[mandrill]

Any money advanced to family or friends is a gift. That's it. If you cannot accept that, hold onto your cash.

I've been repaid occasionally, but far more often it is a one-way transaction, so I treat any returns as found money.

What he said.

Treat the $500 as an immunity policy from any more deadbeat family members asking you for cash. You just say: "Yeah, sorry. You know what happened when I loaned Cousin Doofus 5 C's. Yeah...... Left me a little short on the rent next month. But here's his number. If you can get the money back from him, it's yours for three months."

 

[Keebler Elf]

I think a lot of this depends on the family member. If they're a deadbeat or jobless or just never follow through on commitments, then DUH, of course you shouldn't loan them money unless you don't expect to be paid back.

But a blanket statement that you just shouldn't loan money to family is asinine. If you're not there to help out your family, I think that says more about you than them.

 

[Ceiling Cat]

I had a situation like that happen to me years ago, it was $375 that I never expected to see again. My plan was to ask the borrower for it every time I saw him. After 3 times he blew up and made an excuse that I was saying that he was cheating me, so you called me a crook- Fuck You now you will not get your money back. I calmed him down and told him that I said no such thing. I said to him so that there will be no misunderstandings he should tell me when it was convenient to pay me back. His choice, take as long as you want. My plan was to shame him every time he did not pay as promised. It took two years and five occasions to get him all hopping mad and he actually paid about $30 of the total in $1 and $2 coins.

It wasn't a relative, it was someone I knew since grade school.

 

[james t kirk]

If my one of my brothers, or sister needed money, I would lend it to them without thinking about it. I'd even go into my Line of Credit for a large amount if required. I know they'd pay me back.

I leant a cousin $2,500 once. She paid me back within a month. A couple months after that, she need the $2,500 back. So I leant it to her again. Took her 10 years, but she did finally pay me back (no interest and I never called her once about the outstanding debt.) But 10 years is a bit much.

 

[MissCroft]

My plan was to ask the borrower for it every time I saw him.....- Fuck You now you will not get your money back.

Had a similar thing happen to me. I did not ask him for my money back every time I saw him but I would subtly remind him from time to time. Then I got sick of it so gave him a deadline. He told me that because I was being a bitch he would not give me my money and told me to go f*** myself.

This was someone who I thought was one of my closest friends. Afterwards he complained to everyone that I wouldn't talk to him. Geez, I wonder why......

 

[james t kirk]

Polonius:
Neither a borrower nor a lender be,
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.

Hamlet Act 1, scene 3, 75–77
Old Polonius counsels his hotheaded son Laertes, who is about to embark for Paris for his gentleman's education [see THE PRIMROSE PATH]. While he still has the chance, Polonius wholesales a stockroom of aphorisms, the most famous of which is "Neither a borrower nor a lender be."

On Polonius's terms, there is little to argue with in his perhaps ungenerous advice. His logic is thus: lending money to friends is risky, because hitching debt onto personal relationships can cause resentment and, in the case of default, loses the lender both his money and his friend. Borrowing invites more private dangers: it supplants domestic thrift ("husbandry")—in Polonius's eyes, an important gentlemanly value.

Incidentally, in the days when Hamlet was first staged, borrowing was epidemic among the gentry, who sometimes neglected husbandry to the point where they were selling off their estates piece by piece to maintain an ostentatious lifestyle in London.

http://www.enotes.com/shakespeare-quotes/neither-borrower-nor-lender

 

[wazup]

I would lend/give to immediate family members. Beyond that maybe 50$.

 

[Titalian]

Money and friendship or family = Oil and water. ! I've been through it.

 

[Celticman]

Except for brothers and sisters, I tend to take the view that when friends/family ask me for money they are prepared to devalue the relationship. Even when I have been repaid the relationship never feels quite the same

 

[Perry Mason]

I have lent money to family members... those reasonably close, not the ones that I only see once in a blue Moon.

And when I do, in my mind I treat it as repayable if, as and when they can afford to repay it. And, for the most part, at least in my family, no one has asked me for a loan unless they were really in need... after all is said and done, what is family for if you can't help them out?

Surprisingly, one of my nephews is the only one who has never repaid me.

Perry

 

[thirdcup]

If you loan $50 to someone and you never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

This topic of lending money comes up periodically, and the replies are mostly the same. Some posts from the past that I remember are

... if someone asks me for a loan, I say " I'm not someone you want to be owing money to. "

... when I loan money, I tell the borrower two things. "One, this is not a gift. I expect to be repaid. You may repay all at once or by installments, as you see fit. Two, now that we're clear, I won't be pestering you each time I see you, and I will not lend you any more money until you've repaid what you owe. " I like this approach because it lays things out real clear. The poster said he has loaned many times, but he's only been stiffed a couple of times.

Heck, isn't this the function of pawn shops?

 

[notthemama]

My niece and her husband were just starting out as teachers.
They asked me if I would lend them the down payment for a house.
Down payment, legal fees, yada, yada equals $100000.
They don't talk to me anymore.
No Christmas, Thanksgiving, birthday...calls at all.
I stopped by one time to visit. I know they were home but nobody answered the door.
I sat on the front porch and ordered pizza and wings.
I figured since I paid for the porch at least I should get some enjoyment out of it.
If it made them squirm, even better.
Now I wouldn't cross the street to piss on them if they were on fire.
It's not the money, but being lied to as if you were a fool.:crazy:

 

[Perry Mason]

My niece and her husband were just starting out as teachers.
They asked me if I would lend them the down payment for a house.
Down payment, legal fees, yada, yada equals $100000...
It's not the money, but being lied to as if you were a fool.:crazy:

I never thought of it that way... a few hundred or a couple of thousand, yes, but except for my son, never anything more than $5,000...

Other than my son or daughter, for any large sum I would insist upon some kind of security. I am family, but I am not a bank...

My sympathies to you...

Perry

 

[onthebottom]

Think how Germany feels....

 

[PornAddict]

My niece and her husband were just starting out as teachers.
They asked me if I would lend them the down payment for a house.
Down payment, legal fees, yada, yada equals $100000.
They don't talk to me anymore.
No Christmas, Thanksgiving, birthday...calls at all.
I stopped by one time to visit. I know they were home but nobody answered the door.
I sat on the front porch and ordered pizza and wings.
I figured since I paid for the porch at least I should get some enjoyment out of it.
If it made them squirm, even better.
Now I wouldn't cross the street to piss on them if they were on fire.
It's not the money, but being lied to as if you were a fool.:crazy:

FYI...Teachers in ontario make good money. A Ontario Teacher that have 10 year of Teaching experience they make $89,000 per year. Why would you lent them that huge sum of money? A first year teacher in ontario make 40k and then it goes up dramaticallly every year.