You don't know me at all so I won't comment on most of the above of what you just said. I can tell you unequivocally that I'm not just trying to get laid here. I've spent enough time with this person to know that I am extremely attracted to them, personality and demeanor far more than looks, and sometimes when you've met someone you click with you just know. It may be an asshole thing to do but I can assure you it's driven by my heart and not my dick. In no way am I trying to rationalize anything, sometimes your gut just knows when you've met someone amazing and your heart cannot contain itself especially when you feel that you could enhance their lives in a way that their SO could not. Anyways I appreciate everyone's honesty
Calling all the Dr Phils on the board
- Thread starter Bluebeam22
- Start date
Okay, so hang around more than a few weeks. If she feels the same way, surely she'll initiate something and/or end her current relationship. Return any flirtations, but don't initiate them. If it doesn't happen in a few months, then she likes what she has with him more than the possibility of something with you, be happy you've made an awesome new friend, and move on. I wouldn't hold your breath, but it's not impossible.
They're not married.. He's not a friend of the SO... Fair game if you ask me..
He's not talking about trying to fuck this chick behind her SO's back..
He's asking whether or not he should let this chick know he's developed feelings for her.. If she chooses to break shit off with her SO because of this knowledge then her fucking relationship was too shitty to survive the knowledge that somebody else was interested (aka, not very fucking good)..
Nothing to feel bad about at all..
He's asking whether or not he should let this chick know he's developed feelings for her.. If she chooses to break shit off with her SO because of this knowledge then her fucking relationship was too shitty to survive the knowledge that somebody else was interested (aka, not very fucking good)..
Nothing to feel bad about at all..
"He's not talking about trying to fuck this chick behind her SO's back.. He's asking whether or not he should let this chick know he's developed feelings for her." How is that not trying to fuck the girl behind his back ?????
Your girlfriend tells you she doesn't like being with you and your best friend because he keeps flirting with her when your back is turned so you tell her that's OK - that's what good friends do.
This is an education Dr Phil, I usually don't worry about my 'friends' hitting on my SO. Totally different if she is an 'ex' but active ..... fuck I couldn't do it to my friend.
The O.P. just wants to know if he should be honest to tell her about his feelings, unless it is selfish to do so because it might affect her relationship.
Frankly, I don't know how he would know this to be the case, if after knowing her for a short time.
Maybe more like a foolish move (and selfishness can make one do foolish things).
Bottom line to me, it's pre-mature.
(Now this thread is not to be confused with a situation involving a married person that is looking for or reciprocates to have, an affair or fling).
Frankly, I don't know how he would know this to be the case, if after knowing her for a short time.
Maybe more like a foolish move (and selfishness can make one do foolish things).
Bottom line to me, it's pre-mature.
(Now this thread is not to be confused with a situation involving a married person that is looking for or reciprocates to have, an affair or fling).
I wouldn't know about that... I'm single. I was married once, and was faithful to her until we split in 2008. Shortly thereafter, I joined this site.Yet so many husbands cheat
Its the "bro code"... One just does not pursue an "attached" woman.
And I'm sorry you took offense with my terminology Rebecca,
I meant no disrespect. Its merely a figure of speech.Ugh, I hate this wording
If you were friends with SO then it's would be wrong. In realty all love is a bit selfish- no relationship has ever started out of altruism. You ask a woman out because you are attracted to her. She may not know you are alive but still you must try. Stop trying to woo her and woo her
If he waits the likely scenario is he is friend and that's all. He just met her so they aren't really friends
It's likely he is delusional like all of us. It takes courage to walk across the floor and ask someone out- the only reason we do it is because we think she will say yes.
When i was married sometimes flirty eye contact was made from my husbands friends and acquaintances and even though i i thought some of the guys were cute and made me giggle I still wouldn't have cheated on my husband. Its natural to feel attractions but that doesn't mean theres cheating involved.
Not worth the trouble, risk, fall out
At some point if the person does leave their partner and things are rocky she will blame you for getting her to leave.
It is a no win situation as the odds of this being the perfect dream relationship is nil as there is no such thing as a perfect relationship.
Madonna's right, women do love the attention, and why not, but they mostly will not act on it, if there's a core attachment to their partner.
Where as some of us as men would simply jump at the opportunity. Lets just ask questions later.
Firstly, no, telling a girl you have feelings for her isn't the same as trying to fuck her.. Sure he'd undoubtedly LIKE to fuck her, but te's not trying to break up a relationship for some casual sex, he's looking to start another relationship.
Secondly, the girl is his friend.. Her SO is NOT. He's not being a dick to a FRIEND, he's being a dick to his FRIEND'S boyfriend..
No she is not his "friend". She is someone he saw at a friend's party. They had never breathed a word to each other. He just thinks they exchanged furtive glances of love.
He is asking whether it is ethical for him to break out his secret powers and tell this stranger that he "likes her". Which would of course lead to her falling madly in love with him, thereby breaking up her established relationship, causing the existing boyfriend to kill himself, deep repercussions being felt throughout her extended family and his as well as the axis of the earth becoming more tilted.
Just kidding OP!
It is a good topic for discussion, even though the OP already acknowledged it would indeed be selfish.
