Seeing SP off the clock
- Thread starter swanky
- Start date
the off the clock thing happens when you are mingling emotions and sexual desires. Now looking back at if every time I decide to cook a someone a meal that is when the reality bell hits me and I just have to back away.
The problem is all the guys start expecting it and then the SP's life becomes them bending over backwards in order to keep clients. At that point, they are not even clients anymore because they don't want to pay anymore. If that's what he wants then he should find a girlfriend. If I want to be their girlfriend, fine. But I have had to tell men that I am not their girlfriend. I have even had it happen twice where the 'client' got jealous of me seeing other men.
I know I sound harsh right now but am just sick and tired of guys trying to take advantage of me.
Miss Croft, Gabriella and Bianca's experiences and resulting policies correspond with mine. The clients that push for time off the clock inevitably develop unsustainable expectations; the business relationship breaks down and comes to a needlessly messy end. By implementing firm policies it saves both parties time, drama and hurt feelings. I offer social time to guests who have me on retainer or who have consistently contributed to my life financially over the long term much like getting upgraded to business class because you consistently fly with the same airline. I don't have an abundance of spare time to spend socially so I choose to share it with those that have trusted me, in turn earning my trust and invested in my life both financially and emotionally which makes it easy for me to invest time with them. The number of clients who request social time genuinely amazes me and when I was younger I allowed it to keep clients happy but not once did it turn out to be to my advantage so I stopped accepting the offers. If a man chooses to see someone else because I decline an unpaid dinner date, it shows me that he has issues with rejection and a skewed maturity level that I prefer to stay far away from; so it really is a win/win. Time is irreplaceable and spending it with people who want something for free without earning the privilege is soul sucking for me. We already deal with so much nonsense, I don't see why I should add to it by including someone who I intuitively know is a taker by nature. I am a giver by nature and I've learned takers always take advantage of those who have a generous spirit...
cat
Beautifully and thoughtfully written.
I wish that I could've written that myself. You captured everything and this thread should come to an end.Social time off the clock can work as long as we're firm if it seems to be crossing a boundary. But he or she may not realize what's going on in the other person's head, that line may have crossed mentally without knowing.
This is the type of situation many of us see SP's to avoid. The fantasy girl you see for an hour or two is not how she is 24/7.
Exactly. With everything, pro and con, that entails.
And you genuinely think that if an SP is mercenary enough to see some profit in the formula (and let's by all means never stop being aware that it is a calculation and a formula, amirite?) this somehow makes the relationship with the SP more "real"? I am guessing not. You even keep mentioning what smart business sense it is. Why should someone go that extra mile when you're barely putting in the effort to fool yourself on this one? Tell me with a straight face that the accounts manager forced to give up his Friday night wining and dining some chump from big client X visiting from upper West Midland really, truly enjoys said chump's company and wants to be best buds, and I might believe you. Or use a different analogy. Please.
Void, that latest reply puts it in a slightly better light. As long as your expectations really aren't all so heavy on the scale, I suppose you gots a point there. Either that, or you are actually doing a better job of fooling yourself. At any rate, I shouldn't be such a shit to you about it, except that I don't know you, this is the internet, and.... errrrrm, that's all we ever really need, isn't it?
I believe Miss Croft is writing from experience. In the past she has socialized off the clock with clients with differing results - some good and some not so good. She's intelligent and able to make a decision based on this experience.
?? Um, who says that I haven't experienced it? I have not missed out on anything dear.
Free trips and 'perks' are nice but they don't they pay my taxes or my bills or put groceries in my kitchen. I'm not in my twenties anymore. It's time to be responsible.
Get a rush ticket on the day of performance for $20 or so. No need to hustle an invite.
While those you like are fine- you are short changing yourself if you don't eat Italian food and if you don't try operaNot a fan of Italian food and someone would have to pay me to attend an opera or ballet
I can do french or the colourful floral scandanvian dishes (although we don't have many Swedish/Danish/Norwegian in toronto) and tickets to Godzilla, xmen, transformers, or one of my fav sporting event
Again, I fully get the sp/client thing here...clients shouldn't expect freebies. It is their "job" but I've personally had, so I know others have had actual friendships come out of these. They call me out of the blue to do something.. even come to my pkace for dinner and a movie.....no services, just friendly hang time... so it happens, so leave it up to the couple of people...this is not to EVER be expected, just nice if it does to both parties liking.....
I think you are a little confused what exactly are the services that SP's are providing you. You have intertwined dating with paid companionship and with all the young ladies trying to explain it to you, you seemed fixated on looking at dating opportunities instead of paid companionship. You are paying for social interaction - when you take your client out it is a separate activity that has nothing top do with your business relationship. There is no expectation that you are going to get free products because you shared a lunch. It is much different with an SP. The lines can get blurred and there is an expectation to get her to spend time with a client without compensation. It's an unfair expectation. She has her own life.
I had a client for 8 years; we saw each other every other Saturday night and eventually I relaxed my rules and started to extend my hours to him. He subsequently moved to New York. It worked out for both of us because we both enjoyed each other's company. He took me dining, to movies and to major events. I helped him through the break up of his marriage and the healing occurring after. We were really good friends. We were extremely close as far as friends go and confided in each other a great deal. He knew peonies were my favorite flower and not a June went by without my recieving a box of peonies from the florist. He was very attentive that way. He would tell me about the girls he was dating and I would offer him advice. He wished I was out of the business, but also enjoyed the benefits of my being in it. He was a cop. Some how the lines didn't get blurred, we respected our friendship too much. The age difference was huge, with him being much younger than me and him loving an older woman. It was very erotic that way. I still think about him often and will always miss him.
I just wonder how often some lonely guy falls in love with a sp enough to pay for her just for her company and not her services. Its almost like a bad gambling habbit, love for money or money for love i all sounds like the same shit to me. If the guy wipes his ass with 100 dollar bills thats one thing, but the working class that puts in 60 hours a week to keep themselves out of the gutter its an addiction to her companionship.
I agree completely. In my opinion and from my experience; clients will dine you and wine you with an expectation only if you are not clear about it. they respect it. I genuinely enjoy the company of my clients and in the bedroom and on email communications I try to make them feel like the center of my world, I adore them and worship them because that is what they are looking for and if I go out to dinner I will do the same, nice conversation etc. but it is my choice. I do not see it as a date (feelings or fees involved) and I am clear about it. There has been events (overnights... social events) in which clients are clear of their expectations and advise they want dinner first or after and a certain fee is set .... its all about communication, clear understanding and also knowing your limits and what you are comfortable doing with your clients...... like Marla I also had clients to whom I help in bad situations, break ups, self confidence..etc..and they always come to me for advise on life and other girls or just to have a laugh...and I often confide in them too... so its rewarding in a way and there was and never been expectation of freebies from them but they know the friendship is genuine...I like to be human...
