A colleague was in similar position. It lasted 1 year then when things did not work out, she turned vindictive and got 4
of her female friends at work accuse him of sexual harassment. HR sided with them and he was let go.
A colleague was in similar position. It lasted 1 year then when things did not work out, she turned vindictive and got 4
of her female friends at work accuse him of sexual harassment. HR sided with them and he was let go.
A lady from HR told me after he left (She was disgusted as well and called them the "b" word to my surprise).
We all knew the 4 were very close friends and hang around lunch in the cafeteria at work and outside of work).
You have to be prepared to leave the company. A lot of relationships do start at work and most companies don't mind. But if things go sour someone depending on the company size and how amiable the breakup will have to go.
why not just act professional at work, see her at dinner see where things go
i wouldnt jeopardize my income for something that could be nothing as to being a marriage
I was taught in the first company I joined from school - never get your meat where you get your bread and butter.
Most companies frown on boss / subordinate relationships because it has all the trappings of a sexual harassment suit. I have worked in companies that have SOs working in different departments with no problems with one exception. One hot girl started dating one employee then broke up to start dating another employee. It resulted in a fist fight in the men's washroom after which the company fired both males and kept the girl.
Our company has a policy prohibiting married couples from working together in the same department but is rather vague on all the other numerous romantic entanglements.
There's a training module on this where I work. Right off the bat, it acknowledges that a lot of couples meet at work, so they don't discourage it. They have a couple of guidelines:
- Once you've asked someone out, and she's said No once, that's it. You're not allowed to ask again or otherwise pursue it
- Strongly discourage dating someone that either above or below you in the chain-of-command, or where there the potential that one could become the other's boss. In other words, don't date within your own department. If choose to do so anyway, then you have to notify HR of the relationship.
The only ask once rule is a good rule. The corollary is don't even ask until you are sure which is also a good rule in the workplace.
Have office chats and coffee breaks together and keep it strictly professional for a good long while, until it makes no sense not to ask. And take no for an answer on the coffee breaks.
You have to be prepared to leave the company. A lot of relationships do start at work and most companies don't mind. But if things go sour someone depending on the company size and how amiable the breakup will have to go.
I agree, but I think the key question you have to ask yourself is what's easier to replace, her or the job. In my situation and until the 2008 economic meltdown, I would've said that the job is easier to replace for a sufficiently attractive woman. Not anymore.
There's a training module on this where I work. Right off the bat, it acknowledges that a lot of couples meet at work, so they don't discourage it. They have a couple of guidelines:
There are similar rules in some of the professions discouraging/prohibiting teachers/lawyers/doctors from asking their clients/students/patients for dates.
I agree, but it seems like that's what most women expect. Some guys won't do it and dismiss it as 'playing games' on her part, but I think that it serves a practical purpose from the woman's point-of-view. Helps to weed out the guys that are just looking for a lay, versus the ones that are seriously interested in her. Also helps her to avoid taking responsibility for her own shortcomings if you're the one chasing her.
