What do cheaters feel ?
- Thread starter yababy
- Start date
Thay all feel something different.
Imagine the complete continuum of possible emotional reactions a cheater could have. That's what cheaters feel.
But I wouldn't know...Some cheaters deeply regret it. Some cheaters don't care as long as they aren't married while others don't care at all. They feel bad at first, and subliminally admit to it either by a story of a friend or a story they just heard, but as long as they tell you, it's their way of redemption. Keep in mind they will do it again and again until they get caught. When they get caught they will try to act as if they are sorry but adults know whats right and wrong. If one knows something is wrong for what they are doing, are they really sorry for doing it while they are fully aware of what they are doing?
Most cases it all depends on who they are and what they are doing. Some may not see it cheating if its just sex while others may not see it as cheating as long as they didn't have sex.
- some cheaters will blame their partners for doing it
- some cheaters will deny doing it even after getting caught
- some cheaters will do it cause they want more
- some cheaters will do it out of revenge or spite.
- some cheaters will do it for all the above reasons and more
Everyone is different and how they feel and deal with it all depends on the person.
Most cases it all depends on who they are and what they are doing. Some may not see it cheating if its just sex while others may not see it as cheating as long as they didn't have sex.
- some cheaters will blame their partners for doing it
- some cheaters will deny doing it even after getting caught
- some cheaters will do it cause they want more
- some cheaters will do it out of revenge or spite.
- some cheaters will do it for all the above reasons and more
Everyone is different and how they feel and deal with it all depends on the person.
The power of the human ego to rationalize anything is astounding.
Some people can never admit to doing wrong. Ever.
Some people can never admit to doing wrong. Ever.
So far, I've only cheated once.
I got into the situation to prove to my friends and myself that I could still pick up. She was hot, really nice, also married with her own set of issues... We got along and had some fun. I was perfectly fine with what was happening then and immediately afterwards. Keep in mind that the lady only went as far as BJ on me... If we could've fucked, we would have.
The next morning, I felt like shit... I went through a range of emotions with the main one being that I'll try harder in my marriage to figure out what the fuck is going on, etc and that I'll focus my 'energy' on my kids and home life...
That mentality did not last long. I came to terms with my cheating in about three days and was scouring the Net for porn right thereafter. My TERB lurking didn't take much of a hit.
The problem is that I find women beautiful and I want to mate with them... I want to mate hard with them.
That realization quickly kills all of my 'guilt'. I was at the rippers in less than two weeks.
I got into the situation to prove to my friends and myself that I could still pick up. She was hot, really nice, also married with her own set of issues... We got along and had some fun. I was perfectly fine with what was happening then and immediately afterwards. Keep in mind that the lady only went as far as BJ on me... If we could've fucked, we would have.
The next morning, I felt like shit... I went through a range of emotions with the main one being that I'll try harder in my marriage to figure out what the fuck is going on, etc and that I'll focus my 'energy' on my kids and home life...
That mentality did not last long. I came to terms with my cheating in about three days and was scouring the Net for porn right thereafter. My TERB lurking didn't take much of a hit.
The problem is that I find women beautiful and I want to mate with them... I want to mate hard with them.
That realization quickly kills all of my 'guilt'. I was at the rippers in less than two weeks.
Been there.... I think a real strong love connection and mental bond cause more damage to the other party than a sexual fling. In my case, even though I knew their relationship was shit, would end one day, and was subject to severe control issues by him, it still really bothered me the day he found out about me and his SO and he knew it was way more than sex. She actually deliberately did not hide things well, and she didn't seem too upset the day he found out. Even so, I didn't feel very good that day. Best thing is just be straight up. They ended - they would have ended anyway, but I had huge guilt and felt like shit. If I can offer any advice to anyone - if you are with someone you love, yet you cheat on them, think about how such a day could end up for you. I had been there in a situation of a dead relationship and that felt like shit..... it must feel ten times worse if that same situation involves a good relationship, and if you are the one doing the cheating. I would hope that if end up in a good relationship, I won't cheat. Not judging anyone... just letting you know my experience.
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I feel:
Horny
Thrilled
Satiated
Guilty
in that order.
And sometimes not so thrilled when the SP isn't great. Then I feel financially cheated.
Horny
Thrilled
Satiated
Guilty
in that order.
And sometimes not so thrilled when the SP isn't great. Then I feel financially cheated.
I HAD been a cheater, and i have no excuse like some of you were saying. I have no reason to hobby but my own un-ending thirst for sex, even when my SO is so desireable and always willing... I have tried many times in the past to stop cheating, i have been off hobbying for more than 1/2 year (sounds better than 6 months!!!!).
I've felt a whole range of emotions during the hobby life. Most note-worthy to me: the freedom from a strong addiction is so nice, the disgust feel knowing that i PAID to have sex (no judgemental, this is TO ME only).
I hope that i said these things open-mindedly, and be taken as no putting down anyone nor anyway hobbyists do their things.
I've felt a whole range of emotions during the hobby life. Most note-worthy to me: the freedom from a strong addiction is so nice, the disgust feel knowing that i PAID to have sex (no judgemental, this is TO ME only).
I hope that i said these things open-mindedly, and be taken as no putting down anyone nor anyway hobbyists do their things.
this is an interesting thread. a married man has been pursuing me for quite some time, i finally gave in and its gotten sexual. we have a lot of friends in common, its a big risk that he is taking, lucky for him i'm not in love and dont ever see myself loving him (i cant respect his behaviour, but i'll fuck him for fun). his marriage is very new, his wife is goodlooking. im ambivalent about the whole thing - on the one hand i am attracted to him and like him to a degree, but i dont pursue him and am definitely not trying to have any kind of relationship. he does all that, and its hard to say no to hot no strings sex because i'm just a human being as well. i wonder about his motivations... why marry someone and then put so much effort into trying to get with someone else? i think he must be either really, really confused, or just a dog. im trying my best to steer clear in future.
There are so many diffs in human psyche that will serve as a justifications (excuses), but being a dog isn't... maybe being a pig is! With your judgemental tone you woulld have no trouble avoiding recurrence.
i wasnt being judgemental, just factual. if you want to read into the word "dog" and make it into a judgement then thats on you.
I read the whole post my dear. It is totally ON ME, like you said. I said it with HUMILITY.
Its not cheating if its a massage parlor, or an escort. Its just a more expensive form of jerking off.
If its cheating by having another emotional relationship then sure they would feel guilty (usually).
Without trying to be overburden to you, i beg you to verify WHO are you thinking of when "expensively jerking off"? To me, i am cheating even if i'm with my SO and thinking of another woman. This again i said fully awared that "guity me" was there and had done that. I'll include SC into the mix too.
So if my wife watches lesbian porn and frigs off is she cheating? Meh you need to lose the guilt. Of course escorts, MP's are cheating in most womans eyes, but its a different and for me less guilty cheating than say banging the intern at work on a regular basis.
As evidenced to great degree here on Terb;
Cheaters feel justified.
They do not feel as guilty as you think, or as guilty as you think they should feel.
If they felt very guilty they would not have done it in the first place. And alcohol its not a good explanation, it's a sneaky justification and a backhanded excuse.
Cheaters feel justified.
They do not feel as guilty as you think, or as guilty as you think they should feel.
If they felt very guilty they would not have done it in the first place. And alcohol its not a good explanation, it's a sneaky justification and a backhanded excuse.
There are many reasons for ppl to hobby, then the ones who have formally/informally committed to a relationship also attached an excuse to it.
My own personal experience is: it is yourself that you gotta be honest to. In my case when i found no excuse, i'm pointing at myself and my weakness. Also, i know we are human, so the best thing is looking forwards with hope.
My own personal experience is: it is yourself that you gotta be honest to. In my case when i found no excuse, i'm pointing at myself and my weakness. Also, i know we are human, so the best thing is looking forwards with hope.
