I'm in a sexless marriage, should I take the pliunge and start seeing escorts?

[Major Major]

I'm also hearing this.... "she may be exhausted" line...

and really guys I dont buy it at all....guys in general need to stop buying this garbage thats being fed to us.

Shes tired? so what am I? Gone are the days when a guy can come home from work and put his feet up. You think your average guy could do that these days? Women nowadays wont stand for it. We have to do the same shit they do:

- Work
- Clean
- Cook
- Go to parent teacher meetings
- Take the kid to Hockey at some god forsaken hour
- Help with homework
...and if we are doing less wrk at home its only because we are doing more work at the office...but the hours put in are the same on both ends.

Any of you ever wonder how someone who is so "tired" can make time to do things she wants to do if she really wants to but she cant put aside 20-30 mins for a fun time with her husband? Nobody is asking them to run a marathon.

Guys these days are expected to drop everything they are oing to make the wife happy but they cant do that for us? and then insult the guy's intelligence by giving some lame ass excuse?

Sorry but I refuse to subscribe to that

 

[afterhours]

She may just be physically and mentally exhausted by parenthood and unaware, despite the OPs attempts to show her, how important sex is to him in the relationship.

noone is that dumb

 

[Major Major]

noone is that dumb

Thank you....

Guys quit buying this garbage they feed you. Fact of the matter is they dont fuck you because they dont want to and they dont care about what you think or what you feel.

 

[dance]

I'm also hearing this.... "she may be exhausted" line...


Any of you ever wonder how someone who is so "tired" can make time to do things she wants to do if she really wants to but she cant put aside 20-30 mins for a fun time with her husband? Nobody is asking them to run a marathon.

Guys these days are expected to drop everything they are oing to make the wife happy but they cant do that for us? and then insult the guy's intelligence by giving some lame ass excuse?

Sorry but I refuse to subscribe to that

As a woman who works full time and is a mother of little ones but still can't get enough sex, I have to say I agree. Can't understand what is up with so many women, but fatigue is a lame answer. Too bad for so many wives and their husbands that they are missing the boat. However, please don't write off all women as sex-haters - some of us don't get enough from our spouses either!

 

[Major Major]

As a woman who works full time and is a mother of little ones but still can't get enough sex, I have to say I agree. Can't understand what is up with so many women, but fatigue is a lame answer. Too bad for so many wives and their husbands that they are missing the boat. However, please don't write off all women as sex-haters - some of us don't get enough from our spouses either!

I'm only talking about the ones as described by the OP.... but there you have it guys...case in point right there

 

[lapdoggy]

Go for it OP..........only if you can handle it psychologically.Guilt is a terrible thing.

 

[lapdoggy]

When I was married,I made love with my man as much as possible.You know why?Because I loved him and I loved sex.BJ for breakfast,a quick and insane episode when he got home.......and of course I nice goodnight rompThere is ALWAYS time!It's good for the mind body and soul!

 

[Swallowme]

When I was married,I made love with my man as much as possible.You know why?Because I loved him and I loved sex.BJ for breakfast,a quick and insane episode when he got home.......and of course I nice goodnight rompThere is ALWAYS time!It's good for the mind body and soul!

Yes you are absolutely right. Its good for mind body and soul.

On a lighter note, do you have a twin sister?

 

[nottyboi]

Sex is similar to food IMHO, if there is no food at home, go to a restaurant..(ordering in may be a problem ...lol..but maybe not.)

 

[rhuarc29]

Lol, sorry sammy, I tried...but the terbites called my bluff. Good luck

 

[lapdoggy]

LOL!!!!!!!!!Do you think you can handle two of me?Remember I said "when I WAS married".Fully available at the present time

 

[lapdoggy]

Very interesting comments and a few very good points. I am not an authority on marriage by any means, but I learned a couple of things along the way.

I agree with Captain Kirk about turning cold. No matter what you do or try, you will never get it back on the rails. Although I strongly believe that an honest and open conversation can resolve many things, but life taught me differently. Your jokes are not funny anymore. Things you say are disgusting, even if you just repeat things she said as a joke. And the worst thing is: you will never, ever figure why. She will never tell you. You can't win in that situation. You can't change the way you look, you can't change the way you speak. You can't change the way she thinks about you. The only thing you can do is to give up and move on. I know that much.

A comment from "the other side", SillyGirl, also carries lots of weight. What is the root cause why she turned cold? It would be great to find out, but, quite honestly, if she flipped the switch off, you're out of luck, as I've just said above. You may never find out, but at least you can try for your own peace of mind, if nothing else.

There is another aspect and I didn't see that anybody mentioned it here - incompatible sex drive. Happens quite often. I believe many guys on this board are in this hobby because of that.

If you decide to take a "professional girlfriend" route, be advised that you may never be able to get back. It's just way too convenient. Your "best friend" will be happy, but whether you will be happy - that's a whole other story. And the consequences can be catastrophic. A little adventure may enslave you for life. Happened so many times and I believe that many guys on this board know exactly what I mean by this from their own experience.

I won't and can't give you any advice without knowing your wife's story. As others said, counseling is probably the best idea.

Ummmm,then all you married hobbyists should get counseling?LMAO

 

[djk]

All these people are giving these rosey answers like "you need to go to counselling...

Counseling is like the highway sign that says "last exit before toll". If it doesn't work out, it's over.

I totally agree with kirk. I've only got with a girl again after she went cold was under very specific circumstances. The first was she bumped into me after a few years, saw I was doing better than when we were together and wanted hook up again (women are hypergamous). This has happened to me a few times with different women.

The second (different girl) that I met many years after we were together. She didn't recognize me (or she was very very good at biting her tongue), so I went with it and we hooked up again for about 4 months.

 

[lapdoggy]

Counseling is like the highway sign that says "last exit before toll". If it doesn't work out, it's over.

I totally agree with kirk. I've only got with a girl again after she went cold was under very specific circumstances. The first was she bumped into me after a few years, saw I was doing better than when we were together and wanted hook up again (women are hypergamous). This has happened to me a few times with different women.

The second (different girl) that I met many years after we were together. She didn't recognize me (or she was very very good at biting her tongue), so I went with it and we hooked up again for about 4 months.

Are you having lots of sex?

 

[djk]

Are you having lots of sex?

I'm happy.

 

[james t kirk]

I think once a woman goes cold on you, you're done, the relationship is done, get out while you have more years in front of you than less. I think with men that we're wired to fix things and we want things to be reliable and we hate it when they're not. Fully 2 thirds of all marriages are packed in by the wife. I know a marriage that's coming undone right now and it's the woman who is driving it. I've heard her supposed reasons (in detail) and they are lame. To me her hubby is the classic "good guy". Good man, decent, good father, good provider, funny, decent looking, fit, works hard, blah blah blah. But it's not enough. Her excuses are lame-ass. He's messy, he lets the kids get away with murder, he does this or that. The hard mother fucking truth is that she just doesn't want to be with him anymore. She's tired of him, she's bored, and she wants to be single again

I don't know why they go cold, they just do. Kind of like that cheesie Righteous Brothers song - "You've lost that lovin Feeling" There's a lot of truth in that song. As Monty stated, you can see it in their eyes, the way they discount you, the respect is gone. Could be any number of reasons, but at the end of the day, you're somewhere between the laundry and cleaning the floors. You can never get "it" back.

To me, the best thing is to get out, get on with your life and be successful and happy (now that definitely drives them crazy).

 

[Cassini]

I don't know why they go cold, they just do.

Counselling helps everyone understand the current state of affairs. Sometimes, something more sophisticated is occuring, like depression. At the minimum, it helps everyone to know why they are separating.

 

[CapitalGuy]

Stay married so the kids grow up in a stable house. Stay married so you don't have to spend hours and hours and months and months chasing a replacement wife. Be kind and loving and friendly to your wife. Do family activities willingly and with a positive attitude. Have sex with escorts so you can keep doing all of those other things without resenting your wife. Be discrete.

 

[Aardvark154]

Counselling helps everyone understand the current state of affairs. Sometimes, something more sophisticated is occuring, like depression. At the minimum, it helps everyone to know why they are separating.

I agree. The OP wants to keep his marriage together if possible.

However, as some of us know from experience the death of a relationship is like the death of a person. It helps both to recover from the death of the marriage, and to avoid making the same mistakes in the future to know how your spouse felt, and more importantly how a trained neutral sees the situation.

 

[Asterix]

I agree. The OP wants to keep his marriage together if possible.

However, as some of us know from experience the death of a relationship is like the death of a person. It helps both to recover from the death of the marriage, and to avoid making the same mistakes in the future to know how your spouse felt, and more importantly how a trained neutral sees the situation.

It makes it 10 times harder if kids are involved. My own parents stayed together for many years after it was clear it wasn't working anymore, for fear of upsetting us. Kids are pretty aware of what's going on, and when my parents finally did divorce the main thing I felt was relief.