After all the back and forth in recent weeks regarding the yoga instructor (her Terb name is Hotfemail), I decided to see for myself. So I had a 1-hour visit a few days ago.
I had a rather strange and unsatisfactory visit and I am disappointed to say, this will not be a good review. I even hesitate to post my comments because they will not help Hotfemail’s business. In the end I decided to post because Terb is a review board after all, and I feel the post will be helpful to the general Terb community. So all I can do is hope that Hotfemail is able to learn from these comments and improve her service.
First some good things: Hotfemail is a nice woman with pretty face, great curly hair, slim waist and very wide hips (which I really like). Her breasts are large and full and heavy, just the way I like ‘em. She is friendly and engaging, but also a bit reserved. I have to say, this was our first meeting after all so I certainly understand her being reserved.
Hotfemail operates from a compact and very nice recently renovated house in New Edinburgh. Nice street, and sufficient privacy when coming and going, at least sufficient for my tastes.
The house is rather cluttered, but not too much so. That said, in such a compact place, I would think it important to maximize the relaxing mood and for me, that includes a more tidy place. Mostly, there is a lot of stuff around, maybe other clients don’t mind it.
As others have said, the massage table is in the hallway, which I would not have felt would be a problem before I saw the set up. However, one side of the massage table is completely, totally jammed up against the back of the sofa, with the head-end barely a foot from the partially-frosted glass window of the front door. The foot-end of the table is only about 12 or so inches from the bookcase. Access is just from one side of the table, but that side is partially blocked by the arc of a floor lamp. As a result of this, there is NO and I mean none at all, room to maneuver around the table. From the back and one side, it is jammed against furniture. From the front there is the glass window in the front door to deal with (possibility of prying eyes). And because of the side that is jammed against the sofa, it was hard for me to get comfortable on the table as my arm was constantly pressed against the sofa. And because there was no rom to maneuver around the table, Hotfemail had to spend the entire time ON the table. This would seem to be a good thing, but it was not because there is really no room for two people to both be on the table for an entire hour.
More about the table: Hotfemail had run out of fresh sheets so I had to lie on a table that had just a small towel on it. The towel went from mid-chest to above my knees. The rest of me lay on the vinyl covering of the table. This was not particularly comfortable as the skin of my face kept getting stuck to the table surface. To her credit, Hotfemail did clean the table before I got on it, but she used a scented cleaner and it smelled like an industrial disinfectant, the kind that is used in the gym that I go to in order to wipe off the machines from peoples’ sweat. Although it is nice to know that the table was now sanitary, the overpowering smell was not pleasant at all and my nose was right in it for the entire session.
The selection of music was not in my view, particularly suitable for a massage session. It was mostly what I consider to be hard rock. Although I love George Thorogood’s guitar and gravelly voice, I just don’t find it relaxes me during a massage. When I asked for softer music , Hotfemail switched to a softer rock, but even that was still somewhat upbeat and hard pumping. For me, not relaxing at all.
Let me get down to the business of the actual massage. Hotfemail’s donation is 100 roses for a topless hour and a bit more for totally nude. I went for the totally nude. It turns out that I had some opportunity, but very very little of it, to take advantage of the nude part. Why? For the first part of the session, about half an hour, I lay on my front, head next to the front door, right arm jammed against the sofa. Hotfemail was behind me (more on that in a minute). So I was not able to even see her, let alone allow my hands to wander on her voluptuous body. In the second part, i.e. after the flip, she sat by my feet for most of the time, massaging my lower legs and feet. Again, no touching was possible from that position. Eventually, when it was time for the release portion of the massage, she sat closer to me and some touching was inevitable, but it was all very little, and no sensuality in any of this.
Back to the first part of the massage. Hotfemail sat on my lower back (not on the top portion of my legs, not on my butt, but on the lower part of my back). At her estimated 130 lbs (I do not know if this is accurate but I think it is close), this gets very painful rather quickly and it sure made it hard to enjoy the massage. By the time of the flip my back was numb and I actually had difficulty getting up and turning over.
So all in all: senses bombarded by loud rock music, cluttered location, strong smells, sticky face, strong pain on my back. Very little touching opportunity. No sensuality. Hotfemail is a nice woman but this scenario is just not for me.