The real issue is to try to define what "dating" is. Is it going to a movie? (friends go to movies together). Is it having sex? (Friends with benefits have sex). Is it living together (friends live together). So even if it's in a policy, how to you enforce it, and more importantly - how far does a company go in intruding into your personal life? I saw a stat that 15% of marriages are with people you meet at work. So imagine what the percentage of people who simply date is. The whole problem with this "MeToo" phenomena is that it is having a short term affect of stifling the workplace. I mean just look at this thread. Many of the responses almost sound like women and men should be segregated for the sake of the company. Productive companies WANT staff to interact in a productive way. This leads to relationships in many cases - it's just human nature. If the result of "MeToo" is to stifle all interaction so that employees feel paranoid and scared to say a word to each other - that's a real negative and not what should happen. "MeToo" is about abuse. Only a small percentage of workplace relationships involve abuse and most of the high profile cases that have come out are abuses of power.
Workplace crush
- Thread starter Don Simpson
- Start date
The real issue is to try to define what "dating" is. Is it going to a movie? (friends go to movies together). Is it having sex? (Friends with benefits have sex). Is it living together (friends live together). So even if it's in a policy, how to you enforce it, and more importantly - how far does a company go in intruding into your personal life? I saw a stat that 15% of marriages are with people you meet at work. So imagine what the percentage of people who simply date is. The whole problem with this "MeToo" phenomena is that it is having a short term affect of stifling the workplace. I mean just look at this thread. Many of the responses almost sound like women and men should be segregated for the sake of the company. Productive companies WANT staff to interact in a productive way. This leads to relationships in many cases - it's just human nature. If the result of "MeToo" is to stifle all interaction so that employees feel paranoid and scared to say a word to each other - that's a real negative and not what should happen. "MeToo" is about abuse. Only a small percentage of workplace relationships involve abuse and most of the high profile cases that have come out are abuses of power.
Exactly.
I have worked at a place where there were several office romances where the people actually paired off and got married or lived together.
I've seen where the couple tried to keep it on the down low as well, but people aren't stupid and they figure it out. I've seen the female manager of HR hook up with a Senior guy and 10 years later they are still together. God bless them I say.
It has its pitfalls, like when break ups occur, but such is the human condition isn't it. Attraction is a powerful thing. It's only a PROBLEM when one party won't take no for an answer and it moves into harassment.
Yeah, I suppose they could. But if they fire 2 consenting adults for dating each other, I think they (a company) could be in for a big lawsuit.
If you've got a company where there are 2 people that don't report to one or the other, really, who cares?
Trust that you aren't serious about the above. If you are, this is asking for Trouble with a capital T.
I am curious as to the results.
I have done this and got into dates or relationships 3 out of 5 times. I prefer to do it casually in a way that they can safely say no and feel ok about it. I had to learn to get there. The note is a good one and going casual is the best piece of advice.
If you're sure that both people are reasonable people who can handle a "no", then why not? Even in this climate. But you do have to factor your type of employment for sure.
I have done this and got into dates or relationships 3 out of 5 times. I prefer to do it casually in a way that they can safely say no and feel ok about it. I had to learn to get there. The note is a good one and going casual is the best piece of advice.
If you're sure that both people are reasonable people who can handle a "no", then why not? Even in this climate. But you do have to factor your type of employment for sure.
The Constitution just applies to governmental activities in the public policy sphere. So anything in the employment relationship is contractual and common law. I am not aware of the common law prohibiting dating. But in this day and age, up-to-date judges will probably read in stuff about abuse of power and sexual harassment.
Aside from that, it's whatever you signed on for when you came on board and read the company's policy book.
That was her reaction when she walked in and caught him with those three girls in your sig.I'm sure most women will convey their thoughts with the appropriate sensitivity to your feelings ..
Recently we allowed a workplace romance to carry on. It was out there and obvious for all to see. The result was pretty crappy.
Their roles required them to work together, so after the guy cheated it all broke down. Their work suffered because they could no longer effectively communicate, plus the woman was having emotional outbursts...completely unprofessional considering how forward-facing she is in the company. It created tension in the workplace that didn't need to be there. And the guy, in this case with the more critical role to the company, ended up leaving to get away. As a company, you can't outright restrict dating between co-workers, but you can clamp down on what happens at work. And I suggest you do.
As an aside, we did end up terminating a guy who kept hitting on one of our female employees. He was a little off. Don't be that guy. I think asking for a phone number in order to communicate outside of work is okay, but actual flirting at work is a big no-no.
Their roles required them to work together, so after the guy cheated it all broke down. Their work suffered because they could no longer effectively communicate, plus the woman was having emotional outbursts...completely unprofessional considering how forward-facing she is in the company. It created tension in the workplace that didn't need to be there. And the guy, in this case with the more critical role to the company, ended up leaving to get away. As a company, you can't outright restrict dating between co-workers, but you can clamp down on what happens at work. And I suggest you do.
As an aside, we did end up terminating a guy who kept hitting on one of our female employees. He was a little off. Don't be that guy. I think asking for a phone number in order to communicate outside of work is okay, but actual flirting at work is a big no-no.
