Why do women go for losers?
- Thread starter stinkynuts
- Start date
its the ol' Conan syndrome, every woman wants to tame the beast(but not really).Back Burner said:
"Big, Bad, Bill ... is sweet william now...that his balls are cut off"
You have to try to beat them at their own game, women are masters of hard to get and mind games and they know it, if they like you they'll drop hints but never come out and say it.
Try to be just as hard to figure out as her amd you might have a chance, but it sounds like she already has so maybe next time.
Try to be just as hard to figure out as her amd you might have a chance, but it sounds like she already has so maybe next time.
Let's reverse the situation. Let's say your ex-girlfriend comes back and wants to start up again. She's foxy and great in the sack BUT: she's an alcoholic who just lost her job, she cheats on you, throws hairy kniption fits and rips you off and mooches off you with tons of transparent lies.
I'm a guy and I know I wouldn't have her back. I'd spend a couple of hours talking to her and trying to fix her, but I sure wouldn't get back into a relationship with her. I don't know how many guys here would do the same as me, maybe someone should set up a poll. But I do see this as showing a very important difference in men and women.
I woman will take back a loser when a man won't. What a man finds unacceptable a woman will tolerate.
Now let's reverse the other situation. A man from the first case above DOES choose to go back with his asshole ex-girlfriend. And he keeps calling up another girl to complain for hours about what a loser the girl he's fucking is. The "friend" girl has told him she wants him, but he says let's stay friends and nothing more.
Now the question here is: how long would the platonic girl stick around after the guy took back up with the loser? I think she would tell him he's as big a loser as the girl he's dicking and she would be out of there toot sweet. Interesting to see how different men and women are.
I'm a guy and I know I wouldn't have her back. I'd spend a couple of hours talking to her and trying to fix her, but I sure wouldn't get back into a relationship with her. I don't know how many guys here would do the same as me, maybe someone should set up a poll. But I do see this as showing a very important difference in men and women.
I woman will take back a loser when a man won't. What a man finds unacceptable a woman will tolerate.
Now let's reverse the other situation. A man from the first case above DOES choose to go back with his asshole ex-girlfriend. And he keeps calling up another girl to complain for hours about what a loser the girl he's fucking is. The "friend" girl has told him she wants him, but he says let's stay friends and nothing more.
Now the question here is: how long would the platonic girl stick around after the guy took back up with the loser? I think she would tell him he's as big a loser as the girl he's dicking and she would be out of there toot sweet. Interesting to see how different men and women are.
Women need to be treated like crap. Lets say you interested someone enough for her to start dating you exclusively. If you were always the gentleman she would rapidly loose interest and dump you. However, if you alternate being a gentleman with being an asshole you fulfil the need that all women have to be treated like shit occasionally.
I don't understand it, but it works.
Just try this - make fun of one of her body parts. Just say something like "Yeah your double chin is starting to get in your way." (Even if she doesn't have a double chin.) Then watch her interest in you perk right up.
I don't understand it, but it works.
Just try this - make fun of one of her body parts. Just say something like "Yeah your double chin is starting to get in your way." (Even if she doesn't have a double chin.) Then watch her interest in you perk right up.
DINGDINGDINGDINGDINGDINGDING! We have a winner!asn said:
Women are just people. They *may* be special, but they aren't magical unattainable completely incomprehensible creatures. Some significant psychological differences, but overall pretty much the same as guys.
There's probably some kind of non-coincidental link between the timing of my learning that lesson and getting my first girlfriend.
I thought this article, from a woman's pov was interesting.
http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/niceguys/niceguys.shtml
Why "Nice Guys" are often such LOSERS
You hear it all the time: "He was such a NICE Guy, and she's such a Heartless Bitch for dumping him."
I get letters from self-professed Nice Guys, complaining that women must WANT to be treated like shit, because THEY, the "Nice Guy" have failed repeatedly in relationships. This is akin to the false logic that "Whales are mammals. Whales live in the sea. Therefore, all mammals live in the sea."
If you have one bad relationship after another, the only common denominator is YOU. Think about it.
What's wrong with Nice Guys? The biggest problem is that most Nice Guys (tm) are hideously insecure. They are so anxious to be liked and loved that they do things for other people to gain acceptance and attention, rather than for the simply pleasure of giving. You never know if a Nice Guy really likes you for who you are, or if he has glommed onto you out of desperation because you actually paid some kind of attention to him.
Nice Guys exude insecurity -- a big red target for the predators of the world. There are women out there who are "users" -- just looking for a sucker to take advantage of. Users home-in on "Nice Guys", stroke their egos, take them for a ride, add a notch to their belts, and move on. It's no wonder so many Nice Guys complain about women being horrible, when the so often the kind of woman that gets attracted to them is the lowest form of life...
Self-confident, caring, decent-hearted women find "Nice Guys" to be too clingy, self-abasing, and insecure.
Nice Guys go overboard. They bring roses to a "lets get together for coffee" date. They try to buy her affections with presents and fancy things. They think they know about romance, but their timing is all wrong, and they either come-on too strong, too hard and too fast, OR, they are so shy and unassertive, that they hang around pretending to be "friends", in the hope that somehow, someway, they will get the courage up to ask her out for a "date".
They are so desperate to please that they put aside their own needs, and place the object of their desire on a pedestal. Instead of appreciating her, they worship her. We are only human, and pedestals are narrow, confining places to be -- not to mention the fact that we tend to fall off of them.
They cling to her, and want to be "one" with her for fear that if she is out of sight, she may disappear or become attracted to someone else. A Nice Guy often has trouble with emotional intimacy, because he believes that if she learns about the REAL person inside, she will no longer love him.
Nice Guys are always asking HER to make the decisions. They think it's being equitable, but it puts an unfair burden of responsibility on her, and gives him the opportunity to blame her if the decision was an unwise one.
Nice Guys rarely speak up when something bothers them, and rarely state clearly what it is they want, need and expect. They fear that any kind of conflict might spell the end of the relationship. Instead of comprimising and negotiating, they repeatedly "give in". When she doesn't appreciate their sacrifice, they will complain that, "Everything I did, I did for her.", as if this somehow elevates them to the status of martyrs. A woman doesn't want a martyr. She wants an equal, caring, adult partner.
Nice Guys think that they will never meet anyone as special as she is. They use their adoration as a foundation for claiming that "no one will ever love her as much as I do." Instead of being a profound statement of their devotion, this is a subtle, but nasty insult. It is akin to saying to her: "You are a difficult person, and only *I* can ever truly love you, so be thankful I'm here."
The nice guy -needs- to believe that he is the best person for the object of his desires, because otherwise his insecurities will overrun him with jealousies and fear. The truth of the matter is that there are many people out there who can be a good match for her. We rarely stop loving people we truly care about. Even if we no longer continue the relationship, the feelings will continue... But love isn't mutually exclusive. We can (and do) love many people in our lives, and romantic love is really no different. Though he may love her immensely, there will likely be other people who have loved her just as much in her past, and will love her just as much in the future. The irony of it all is: "Who would want to go out with someone who was inherintly unlovable anyways?"
More than loving the woman in his life, a Nice Guy NEEDS her. "She is my Life, my only source of happiness..." YECH! What kind of a burden is that to place on her? That SHE has to be responsible for YOUR happiness? Get a grip!
Another mistake Nice Guys make is to go after "hard luck" cases. They deliberately pick women with neuroses, problems, and personality disorders, because Nice Guys are "helpers". A Nice Guy thinks that by "helping" this woman, it will make him a better, more lovable person. He thinks it will give him a sense of accomplishment, and that she will appreciate and love him more, for all his efforts and sacrifice. He is usually disappointed by the results.
This ultimately boils down to the fact that Nice Guys don't like themselves. Is it any wonder women don't like them? In order to truly love someone else, you must first love yourself. Too often Nice Guys mistake obsession for "love".
Get this Guys: INSECURITY ISN'T SEXY. IT'S A TURNOFF.
You don't have to be an ego-inflated, arrogant jerk. You just have to LIKE yourself. You have to know what you want out of life, and go after it. Only then will you be attractive to the kind of woman with whom a long-term relationship is possible.
http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/niceguys/niceguys.shtml
Why "Nice Guys" are often such LOSERS
You hear it all the time: "He was such a NICE Guy, and she's such a Heartless Bitch for dumping him."
I get letters from self-professed Nice Guys, complaining that women must WANT to be treated like shit, because THEY, the "Nice Guy" have failed repeatedly in relationships. This is akin to the false logic that "Whales are mammals. Whales live in the sea. Therefore, all mammals live in the sea."
If you have one bad relationship after another, the only common denominator is YOU. Think about it.
What's wrong with Nice Guys? The biggest problem is that most Nice Guys (tm) are hideously insecure. They are so anxious to be liked and loved that they do things for other people to gain acceptance and attention, rather than for the simply pleasure of giving. You never know if a Nice Guy really likes you for who you are, or if he has glommed onto you out of desperation because you actually paid some kind of attention to him.
Nice Guys exude insecurity -- a big red target for the predators of the world. There are women out there who are "users" -- just looking for a sucker to take advantage of. Users home-in on "Nice Guys", stroke their egos, take them for a ride, add a notch to their belts, and move on. It's no wonder so many Nice Guys complain about women being horrible, when the so often the kind of woman that gets attracted to them is the lowest form of life...
Self-confident, caring, decent-hearted women find "Nice Guys" to be too clingy, self-abasing, and insecure.
Nice Guys go overboard. They bring roses to a "lets get together for coffee" date. They try to buy her affections with presents and fancy things. They think they know about romance, but their timing is all wrong, and they either come-on too strong, too hard and too fast, OR, they are so shy and unassertive, that they hang around pretending to be "friends", in the hope that somehow, someway, they will get the courage up to ask her out for a "date".
They are so desperate to please that they put aside their own needs, and place the object of their desire on a pedestal. Instead of appreciating her, they worship her. We are only human, and pedestals are narrow, confining places to be -- not to mention the fact that we tend to fall off of them.
They cling to her, and want to be "one" with her for fear that if she is out of sight, she may disappear or become attracted to someone else. A Nice Guy often has trouble with emotional intimacy, because he believes that if she learns about the REAL person inside, she will no longer love him.
Nice Guys are always asking HER to make the decisions. They think it's being equitable, but it puts an unfair burden of responsibility on her, and gives him the opportunity to blame her if the decision was an unwise one.
Nice Guys rarely speak up when something bothers them, and rarely state clearly what it is they want, need and expect. They fear that any kind of conflict might spell the end of the relationship. Instead of comprimising and negotiating, they repeatedly "give in". When she doesn't appreciate their sacrifice, they will complain that, "Everything I did, I did for her.", as if this somehow elevates them to the status of martyrs. A woman doesn't want a martyr. She wants an equal, caring, adult partner.
Nice Guys think that they will never meet anyone as special as she is. They use their adoration as a foundation for claiming that "no one will ever love her as much as I do." Instead of being a profound statement of their devotion, this is a subtle, but nasty insult. It is akin to saying to her: "You are a difficult person, and only *I* can ever truly love you, so be thankful I'm here."
The nice guy -needs- to believe that he is the best person for the object of his desires, because otherwise his insecurities will overrun him with jealousies and fear. The truth of the matter is that there are many people out there who can be a good match for her. We rarely stop loving people we truly care about. Even if we no longer continue the relationship, the feelings will continue... But love isn't mutually exclusive. We can (and do) love many people in our lives, and romantic love is really no different. Though he may love her immensely, there will likely be other people who have loved her just as much in her past, and will love her just as much in the future. The irony of it all is: "Who would want to go out with someone who was inherintly unlovable anyways?"
More than loving the woman in his life, a Nice Guy NEEDS her. "She is my Life, my only source of happiness..." YECH! What kind of a burden is that to place on her? That SHE has to be responsible for YOUR happiness? Get a grip!
Another mistake Nice Guys make is to go after "hard luck" cases. They deliberately pick women with neuroses, problems, and personality disorders, because Nice Guys are "helpers". A Nice Guy thinks that by "helping" this woman, it will make him a better, more lovable person. He thinks it will give him a sense of accomplishment, and that she will appreciate and love him more, for all his efforts and sacrifice. He is usually disappointed by the results.
This ultimately boils down to the fact that Nice Guys don't like themselves. Is it any wonder women don't like them? In order to truly love someone else, you must first love yourself. Too often Nice Guys mistake obsession for "love".
Get this Guys: INSECURITY ISN'T SEXY. IT'S A TURNOFF.
You don't have to be an ego-inflated, arrogant jerk. You just have to LIKE yourself. You have to know what you want out of life, and go after it. Only then will you be attractive to the kind of woman with whom a long-term relationship is possible.
I know several women as friends who stay with abusive boyfriends and husbands, the only reason they can give me is that they love them...fucked up.
To turn this thread around, who do some members of Terb (and I'm sure many non-members) pay fat ugly chicks for sex? Talk about losers...
To turn this thread around, who do some members of Terb (and I'm sure many non-members) pay fat ugly chicks for sex? Talk about losers...
I hate the fact that a lot of women need to trash their ex-boyfriends to anyone who will listen. I know that some men do that too but not to the same frequency or magnitude that women do. Hell hath no fury…
There are several things that you need to consider:
1) You’ve only heard her side of it and you’re taking it as gospel. Obviously there must be something good about the relationship or she wouldn’t go back to him.
2) Women are attracted to strong, alpha-male types who live life on their terms and don’t tolerate a woman’s bullshit.
3) Women will bitch about their man to anyone who will listen. She keeps you around because she appreciates you listening to her endless bitching but she doesn’t feel the least bit of sexual attraction to you because she thinks of you like she would a girlfriend.
Check out this news report of a divorced woman’s trashing her ex on youtube.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hx_WKxqQF2o
There are several things that you need to consider:
1) You’ve only heard her side of it and you’re taking it as gospel. Obviously there must be something good about the relationship or she wouldn’t go back to him.
2) Women are attracted to strong, alpha-male types who live life on their terms and don’t tolerate a woman’s bullshit.
3) Women will bitch about their man to anyone who will listen. She keeps you around because she appreciates you listening to her endless bitching but she doesn’t feel the least bit of sexual attraction to you because she thinks of you like she would a girlfriend.
Check out this news report of a divorced woman’s trashing her ex on youtube.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hx_WKxqQF2o
Good article Stinky. It gives a lot of information that is worthy of consideration.stinkynuts said:
Ahhhh...so is this why my Woody Allen impersonations are not effective when trying to seduce women. I always thought it worked well for him.stinkynuts said:
She's insecure, he treats her like dirt, there's the reason.
She likes the guessing game of "why does he treat me like crap" running in the back of her mind, whether she's aware of it or not.
They're messed up, don't try to figure them out.
Live your life, do your thing, put them anywhere on your list of important things... except for positions 1-3 and everything else will fall into place.
She likes the guessing game of "why does he treat me like crap" running in the back of her mind, whether she's aware of it or not.
They're messed up, don't try to figure them out.
Live your life, do your thing, put them anywhere on your list of important things... except for positions 1-3 and everything else will fall into place.
Good find Stinky. I agree with everything but I’m not too crazy about the website it came from.
Think about it, tho. I guy wouldn’t be very attracted to a woman exuding the same qualities as a “nice guy” so it works both ways.
I’ve met a few “nice guy” women in my day who want to worship me and treat me like a king but I find that I’m not the least bit attracted to them and I can’t wait to get away.
ha ha I just told my first husband he is a terrible kisser. He wanted the truth I gave it to him. He asked me if he was good in bed and if I was really satisfied I said yes most of the time but his kissing he should keep his mouth off women. lol OH btw he insisted to come over this man is never a quitter. I know he will be back even I told him I was busy and did not want him here and he agreed then you believe it 3 seconds later calls me back I am in the area and can be there in 2 minutes and I have vodka. roflmao I just told him whatever if you insist. He left with nothing. lol I kept mopping and doing dishes and baking my muffins.
So is it women keep going back to men or they keep crawling back? This is the question.
I also told him I loved someone else more than him and that if any man came back it would be with him. He told me I have good news in 2 weeks he will have a cheque for 40 thousand. omg lol
men men men men
Damned he even told me of a time and that I should not blame him that he took me to a club and after we got back I took his finger in my mouth and worked it then slowly went down and gave him a bj and he said he never seen anything like me in his entire life. I told him he is blind and that I was his wife at the time and anything I did with him since then was games. He then said we were married and that is who you are a sex addict and do not deny it. lol
He will not go away. I betcha anything the next time he crawls back cause I would not even give him a good-bye kiss that he is shaved as I said his kissing is bad and that beard looks all wrong with two circular white spots. Damned even when I told him to go away last time he did but waited months and then decided to call again. Do I want a loser in my life that is so desperate? A man I can laugh at. NO
Ladies in a few weeks he will have 40 thou want him? ha ha
Oh another thing he says he does not want sex after I tell him I know it will be the same old story and told him that is all he is after and he tells me no that he was married to me at one time and he is only interested in how I am doing, but yet he wanted hugs and kisses. Yeah right.
So is it women keep going back to men or they keep crawling back? This is the question.
I also told him I loved someone else more than him and that if any man came back it would be with him. He told me I have good news in 2 weeks he will have a cheque for 40 thousand. omg lol
men men men men
Damned he even told me of a time and that I should not blame him that he took me to a club and after we got back I took his finger in my mouth and worked it then slowly went down and gave him a bj and he said he never seen anything like me in his entire life. I told him he is blind and that I was his wife at the time and anything I did with him since then was games. He then said we were married and that is who you are a sex addict and do not deny it. lol
He will not go away. I betcha anything the next time he crawls back cause I would not even give him a good-bye kiss that he is shaved as I said his kissing is bad and that beard looks all wrong with two circular white spots. Damned even when I told him to go away last time he did but waited months and then decided to call again. Do I want a loser in my life that is so desperate? A man I can laugh at. NO
Ladies in a few weeks he will have 40 thou want him? ha ha
Oh another thing he says he does not want sex after I tell him I know it will be the same old story and told him that is all he is after and he tells me no that he was married to me at one time and he is only interested in how I am doing, but yet he wanted hugs and kisses. Yeah right.
Damn right. Treating people like crap is just as much a sign of weakness as being a doormat. The only advantage that treating er like carp has is that the stupid, insecure & otherwise damaged mistake it for strength...... Rudeness is the weak man's substitute for strength.asn said:
If you make everyone feel good & demand that people reciprocate then it's win/win. If you settle for a broken doll that doesn't know the difference it's lose/lose.
My advice is to tell her your opinion on the guy next time she tries the emotampon thing & let her know her failure to learn from mistakes is damaging your calm & frankly not worth your time... She'll either take it or leave it & honestly, it's better if she leaves......
You should...
1) Have to pay for it
2) Pay for it because they hate women
3) Hate women
Not everyone here fits those categories of course, but A LOT do. Many posts here reek of misogyny...even while they dent it.
Women don't' go for losers anymore often than men go for botches. Obviously some do in both groups.
Women don't go for YOU. You have been posting here for years about your problems with women, and for years I've have tried to give you sincere advice, and for years you appeared you have chosen to bitch more rather than make the necessary changes.
This woman has you pegged, based on what I have been reading from you through the years. Again, you need to take heed.
One last piece of advice....if you have someone whose life you'd like try to duplicate to some degree...ask them how they got there. Ask them their formula for success. In this case...if you want to go out with lots of shallow vapid but attractive bitches...ask a guy who has a way with shallow vapid but attractive bitches (I suspect there are some of those here...it isn't difficult to imagine a true womanizer also being into the hobby as well). If you want to meet someone who you genuinely care for and about and who feels the same way about you...ask someone who has done that. and if you want to be the sort of guy who dates a fair bit with different types of women of varying shapes, sizes, backgrounds, levels of attractiveness etc....but all women you can respect...ask a guy who has managed to do that.
But seriously...continual bringing your problems here for feedback...then ignoring the good advice while you embrace the stuff that only validates the perspective you have that keeps you in the scenario you are in makes no sense.
One last time...read what the woman has to say repeatedly until it sinks in....
...listen to the woman versus a bunch of guys who eitherstinkynuts said:
1) Have to pay for it
2) Pay for it because they hate women
3) Hate women
Not everyone here fits those categories of course, but A LOT do. Many posts here reek of misogyny...even while they dent it.
Women don't' go for losers anymore often than men go for botches. Obviously some do in both groups.
Women don't go for YOU. You have been posting here for years about your problems with women, and for years I've have tried to give you sincere advice, and for years you appeared you have chosen to bitch more rather than make the necessary changes.
This woman has you pegged, based on what I have been reading from you through the years. Again, you need to take heed.
One last piece of advice....if you have someone whose life you'd like try to duplicate to some degree...ask them how they got there. Ask them their formula for success. In this case...if you want to go out with lots of shallow vapid but attractive bitches...ask a guy who has a way with shallow vapid but attractive bitches (I suspect there are some of those here...it isn't difficult to imagine a true womanizer also being into the hobby as well). If you want to meet someone who you genuinely care for and about and who feels the same way about you...ask someone who has done that. and if you want to be the sort of guy who dates a fair bit with different types of women of varying shapes, sizes, backgrounds, levels of attractiveness etc....but all women you can respect...ask a guy who has managed to do that.
But seriously...continual bringing your problems here for feedback...then ignoring the good advice while you embrace the stuff that only validates the perspective you have that keeps you in the scenario you are in makes no sense.
One last time...read what the woman has to say repeatedly until it sinks in....
Holy Shit: An article has just described my situation DEAD ON!!
Stuff Asian People like: http://www.asian-central.com/stuffasianpeoplelike/page/4//
I couldn't believe how accurate this was, describing me and my situation. I guess I fall into a mold. I've bolded things that really apply to me. I am asian, but think this article cuts across all races.
Do I regret being nice? I don't know. I regret being a doormat. I've done everything for women. Listened to them about their problems, chauffered them when and where they wanted, bought them gifts, taken care of their cats (scooping out the smelly litter box, feeding them), and doing everything their hearts wanted. And in return I've gotten nothing but a broken heart.
Definitely like the advice at the end too!
Stuff Asian People like: http://www.asian-central.com/stuffasianpeoplelike/page/4//
I couldn't believe how accurate this was, describing me and my situation. I guess I fall into a mold. I've bolded things that really apply to me. I am asian, but think this article cuts across all races.
Do I regret being nice? I don't know. I regret being a doormat. I've done everything for women. Listened to them about their problems, chauffered them when and where they wanted, bought them gifts, taken care of their cats (scooping out the smelly litter box, feeding them), and doing everything their hearts wanted. And in return I've gotten nothing but a broken heart.
Definitely like the advice at the end too!
