Why do hobbyist get ridiculed when they become attached to an SP?

[Macbo3]

I wonder about this thread. Is some the divide here between guys who are looking for specific sex acts/PSE and guys looking for GFE?

I was talking to an SP about the types of clients she has and she said that some guys immediately want to discuss the menu and get to it. Some even stay for half their time because once they're done they leave. Other guys want to talk for a while and get to know the girl and take things slower.

SPs are also different here too. Some SPs do not want to talk the clients more than just what's needed to do the session and even up-charge for 'GFE'. Others won't start with you until you've established some kind of connection. I personally love SPs who talk about their lives and remember things about me during the next session. I love hearing about their dream projects or about their favorite family members or weird quirks. It feels like a relationship. It's just that we're both clear we're not here for anything more than the boundaries/rules already established.

I'm just thinking about the posts where some guys are like "you're an idiot, it's just a business, get what you need and leave" and others are like "falling for SPs is part of the experience and it's cool (just don't take it too far)." Maybe all this is more about the different types of people who participate than the right way to approach things?

 

[|2 /-\ | /|/]

In a nutshell this is all this is. People choosing to participate in this hobby the way they want to and the way they like to with no way being right or wrong provided it is consensually, within consensual boundaries and respectful to the other party.

This should be where this discussion ends.

However, when someone presents ideas that are outside other egotistical people’s box or boundaries or way of hobbying their ego gets hurt and threatened especially with something as sensitive as feelings and love in the SP context where exchange of money is involved for sexual services, their sense of self gets threatened and they feel the need to put others down who do it differently in an attempt to put themselves above the other and protect their sense of self because this is how they have been thought by people in their life and experiences and this is the truth they believe and the identity they assume.

This is essence is a huge ego struggle especially in this industry where egos play a huge role. Vanity and pride are what most of us tend to think of when we think of ego, but ego is much more than an overinflated sense of self. It can also turn up in feelings of inferiority or self-hatred because ego is any image you have of yourself that gives you a sense of identity—and that identity derives from the things you tell yourself and the things other people have been saying about you that you've decided to accept as truth.


Per Eckhart Tolle’s teachings “We, in essence, are formless consciousness, stillness, or presence. Ego, in this context, is the false self or current state of consciousness of humanity that doesn't let the presence shine through. Its a screen made of mental conditioning (thoughts and emotions) through which we see and act on the world.

I think anytime someone decides its okay to attack and put down someone else because they do it different even though it’s consensual, these people open themselves up, create undermining and lose respect so make it a free for all on their sense of self and becomes an ego struggle.

I wonder about this thread. Is some the divide here between guys who are looking for specific sex acts/PSE and guys looking for GFE?

I was talking to an SP about the types of clients she has and she said that some guys immediately want to discuss the menu and get to it. Some even stay for half their time because once they're done they leave. Other guys want to talk for a while and get to know the girl and take things slower.

SPs are also different here too. Some SPs do not want to talk the clients more than just what's needed to do the session and even up-charge for 'GFE'. Others won't start with you until you've established some kind of connection. I personally love SPs who talk about their lives and remember things about me during the next session. I love hearing about their dream projects or about their favorite family members or weird quirks. It feels like a relationship. It's just that we're both clear we're not here for anything more than the boundaries/rules already established.

I'm just thinking about the posts where some guys are like "you're an idiot, it's just a business, get what you need and leave" and others are like "falling for SPs is part of the experience and it's cool (just don't take it too far)." Maybe all this is more about the different types of people who participate than the right way to approach things?

 

[calculous]

I think some of us are trying to save the poor Johns who post stuff like this from grief and not really deriving pleasure from letting people get a splash of reality.

Look, in the moment of paid time, you can get lost in whatever fantasy you want but the fact is no ugly guy or guy with zero game or social skills readily looks in the mirror and owns up to their own shortcomings.

If and only if the escort does NOT charge you and contacts you spontaneously for purposes other than soliciting more visits then you’re getting the bare beginning of the potential for a real relationship.

Over my hobbying I’ve known the real names and real addresses of at least a dozen escorts. Real number too in almost all cases. Escorts are just women doing a job and in most cases I think they’re comfortable with me because they know I won’t fall in love with them. There is Huge value to an escort in having a client that has zero chance of developing an emotional attachment but they have a trusting and fun relationship with.

This may come as a shock to some of you socially underdeveloped out there but escorts are attracted to the EXACT same things that women outside of the Industry are attracted to, and I’m going to be real here, it’s not always all about the $.

I don’t enjoy putting others down in any way so I’ll finish by saying that Yes real relationships happen and occasionally the escort develops real feelings for a John but this is NOT with socially challenged guys who don’t understand women or confuse fantasy with reality.

 

[J.A. Prufrock]

I think some of us are trying to save the poor Johns who post stuff like this from grief and not really deriving pleasure from letting people get a splash of reality.

Look, in the moment of paid time, you can get lost in whatever fantasy you want but the fact is no ugly guy or guy with zero game or social skills readily looks in the mirror and owns up to their own shortcomings.

If and only if the escort does NOT charge you and contacts you spontaneously for purposes other than soliciting more visits then you’re getting the bare beginning of the potential for a real relationship.

Over my hobbying I’ve known the real names and real addresses of at least a dozen escorts. Real number too in almost all cases. Escorts are just women doing a job and in most cases I think they’re comfortable with me because they know I won’t fall in love with them. There is Huge value to an escort in having a client that has zero chance of developing an emotional attachment but they have a trusting and fun relationship with.

This may come as a shock to some of you socially underdeveloped out there but escorts are attracted to the EXACT same things that women outside of the Industry are attracted to, and I’m going to be real here, it’s not always all about the $.

I don’t enjoy putting others down in any way so I’ll finish by saying that Yes real relationships happen and occasionally the escort develops real feelings for a John but this is NOT with socially challenged guys who don’t understand women or confuse fantasy with reality.

Thanks, Dr. Phil.