Why do hobbyist get ridiculed when they become attached to an SP?

[Jasmine Raine]

Thats bullshit and you know it.

Paying for it has nothing to do with it. I pay for a lot of things like my coffee, RMT massage, dental and hygienist appointments, so what I am totally supposed block myself off of these people because I pay. What if you accidentally happen to come across the one, and you meet them in the SP interaction are you going to be so stubborn and say ohh well they paid it so it cannot be real, they tell me all the time not to do these the same people who have broken relationships and never experienced true love. You can also take this further with marriage and say ohh she doesn’t love me, all she want is my seed and my money and my reputation and to please her friends and parents with a handsome and successful husband that they approve so she can be accepted by her piers, family friends, colleagues, society etc. You see how bullshit that sounds. Obviously, nobody in their right mind should take on SPing in hopes of finding their future mate, and that alone carries a lot of issues for any individual who thinks it, however it sometimes happens and you find the one in the most unexpected places. There are a few stories people shared on here where it has happened and it is real. So what if you finally do meet him are you going to be scared of hurt because its so taboo because they tell you not to.

Hey thats your choice at the end of the day. If you think you can control love, I think you are fooling yourself and it will bever be real because you interfered in it with that mindset.

I didn't say that you can't have feelings but all those feelings can be identified as something other then love.

Love is unconditional in my opinion. The act of a transaction based on conditions makes that impossible. I'm not taking the actual exchange of money, it is conditional transaction between the parties as in seeing each other for only an hour for example. Or not using real names and numbers. There are limiting conditions in a transaction environment like sex work.

When you meet these people like your dentist, if you can talk about personal things like going on a date, you open yourself up outside of the transactional environment. You are not falling in love only when they are cleaning your teeth.

When an SP and client get involved, they too take it out of the transactional as well. But that is not what he is talking about. He is talking about strictly during sessions.

As for me personally, yes I will stop any attempt at ”love” with a client. I'm not interested in dating a client and I do this to purposely keep that boundary. When I want to ”date” someone, I will meet someone outside of this industry. This is fun, sure but that is personally all I want at the moment.

Society teaches you that you are supposed to grow up, find someone and live happily ever after. That is not what I want. I walk my own path and always have. I wish others who are looking for love that they find it. I don't begrudge love, I'm just not interested in it at the moment. It has nothing to do with being scared of hurt and everything to do with my personal choice based on my lifestyle.

 

[Tashki]

I hate to say it OP but you sound very cuckoldish. Many sps panties are getting bone dry reading your posts. They are laughing though so they thank you for the laughs hehe.

Here’s an idea. How about you cut the ad hominems and actually add something constructive towards the discussion?

Let me hear your counter argument if you are against my point of view.

 

[wilbur]

You can't love a sex worker when paying for an hour or two of her time. She is on her A-game or at least should be. You don't know her without makeup, on bad days, her personal life story and personal problems and she doesn't really know yours.


You hit the nail on the head, it is a fantasy. It is all of the good with none of the bad and therefore not real at all.

People use the word love way to much. When most really have no idea what love truly means.

Maybe not love, but it's not just another business transaction, like going to a carwash.

How do you explain that when we meet, she's glad to see me and I'm glad to see her.

Yes, she does tell me about her personal problems. I don't judge, but try to make suggestions if she's open to that. Yes, I tell her about my life. Yes, I have driven her home. Yes, I've got her private chat address.

I regard an SP as any other professional, where discretion is expected, and is non-judgemental. So is my relationship with my SP the same as my dentist? My dentist doesn't tell me about her problems.

It's not a romance, but is it possible that there is some sign of a friendship?

 

[Jasmine Raine]

Maybe not love, but it's not just another business transaction, like going to a carwash.

How do you explain that when we meet, she's glad to see me and I'm glad to see her.

Yes, she does tell me about her personal problems. I don't judge, but try to make suggestions if she's open to that. Yes, I tell her about my life. Yes, I have driven her home. Yes, I've got her private chat address.

I regard an SP as any other professional, where discretion is expected, and is non-judgemental. So is my relationship with my SP the same as my dentist? My dentist doesn't tell me about her problems.

It's not a romance, but is it possible that there is some sign of a friendship?

Where in my posts have I said that feelings can't come into play? I did say you would and could have feelings. Feelings of friendship, kinship, intimacy, lust, passion, etc. But it is not love. Not while in a conditional transactional environment.

And again, this is just my opinion. I already said I was willing to agree to disagree.

 

[SexB]

For the millionth time, I have ladies I enjoy spending time with and who I like to think enjoy my company but at the end of the day, I'm realistic about our relationship.

I've had a couple ladies I was seeing regularly who "fired" me as a client. Was I disappointed? Of course I was. Did I spend a lot of time dwelling on it? Being blunt, I didn't.

 

[teach]

I noticed on a few threads in the past that when a hobbyist implies that they have gotten attached to an SP or perhaps even developed feelings for them they often get ridiculed by other forum users. This even happened to me. People say something like "It's an illusion" and the obvious classic line "It's all about the $"

I have fell in love with most SPs. I have gotten attached to them and I have been heavily passionate towards them. I don't ask any of them to be my GF because I thought that was the whole point of the service; To be really into your SP. To make it as though they are the best thing that has ever happened to me. Isn't that the whole point of the service? I want to be able to drive home after a session in the state of euphoria than to feel hollow and empty. I wouldn't feel like I have gotten my money's worth.

Are sessions with SPs suppose to lack foreplay and we just bang them like lifeless zombies?

I'd also read stories about SPs blacklisting clients because they felt that the clients were seeing them too many times and felt that those clients fell in love with them. Again, isn't that part of the experience?

One of the best things I like about seeing SPs (or i thought) is that I can see them at anytime I want as long as the are available and you don't have to worry about them liking you, being interested in you or being attracted to you. As a long as I like them, become attached to them and pay them without worrying about them not wanting to provide me service.

I have come to the conclusion that falling in love with an SP is within it's nature of hobbying. The sensation of my dick getting sucked by a civilian feels the same way as if an SP is doing it. Oxytocin produces inside of my brain when I make out with a civilian the same way as if I'm making out with an SP. So where does the validity of "This hobby is an illusion" come in?

I would like to know everybody else's perspective.

Love?? You do not know what love is. And your niavete is going to be a whole world of hurt for you. These ladies are providing a service for money. That is it. They do not have feelings for you. They are very good actresses. Some may like you as a customer and as a customer only. A very popular SP that is one of my regulars gets propositioned by guys like you all the time and it actually creeps her out. Pull your head out of your ass and wake up. You want true emotional connection go date a nice girl. Any perceived "emotional" connection with an SP is fantasy.

 

[teach]

Where in my posts have I said that feelings can't come into play? I did say you would and could have feelings. Feelings of friendship, kinship, intimacy, lust, passion, etc. But it is not love. Not while in a conditional transactional environment.

And again, this is just my opinion. I already said I was willing to agree to disagree.

Completely agree with you. Some of these guys are so fucking emotionally unsophisticated that they are bordering on delusional.

 

[J.A. Prufrock]

Love?? You do not know what love is.

Then he should watch this:

 

[Wappa]

Completely agree with you. Some of these guys are so fucking emotionally unsophisticated that they are bordering on delusional.

I LOVE how you throw shade at different viewpoints while trying to big yourself up in the process. So sophisticated.

Do you have any Grey Poupon?

 

[J.A. Prufrock]

Do you have any Grey Poupon?

This guy does:

 

[teach]

I LOVE how you throw shade at different viewpoints while trying to big yourself up in the process. So sophisticated.

Do you have any Grey Poupon?

Lol. Big myself up? Why, did what I said hit a little too close to home for you? You fall in LOOOOVE with ladies you pay to fuck also? Tell me, you believe in "the secret" too? Then you are delusional.

 

[Wappa]

Lol. Big myself up? Why, did what I said hit a little too close to home for you? You fall in LOOOOVE with ladies you pay to fuck also? Tell me, you believe in "the secret" too? Then you are delusional.

Although I LOVED you in Lord of the Rings, I shall not feed thee, troll. You wouldn’t get that either.

(But seriously, what’s the secret?! Pweeeeze tell me. )

 

[Smash]

It's just business. Blow n Go :doh:

 

[teach]

Although I LOVED you in Lord of the Rings, I shall not feed thee, troll. You wouldn’t get that either.

(But seriously, what’s the secret?! Pweeeeze tell me. )

Lol. Actually I do. Good one. Secret? Google it. You fuckers are so myopic, you miss the entire fucking point. That is why humanity is truly fucked. Everyone misses the most fucking obvious thing in the room and instead argue about "views". Lol.

 

[teach]

And yet, Tashki specifically said "I don't ask any of them to be my GF ..." So apparently your regular doesn't get propositioned by guys like him, since he doesn't proposition the girls.

Tashki has a healthy approach to this hobby. He likes the feel of the emotional connection. Emotions are a part of being human. He also seems to clearly understand that it's a fantasy. He knows that for him something would be lacking without the feel of the emotional connection, even if it is a fantasy.

"Love" has a variable definition. How one person defines love is different than how another person defines love. I don't think there's an easy right/wrong dichotomy here and I don't think it's possible for any one person to say to another person "what you're feeling isn't love." There are lines that can't be crossed. Not all love is healthy, or at least not all love is expressed in healthy ways. Some forms of "love" can be abusive or manipulative or controlling. In this business, any "love" one feels for an escort becomes inappropriate when it starts to be expressed in a way that crosses the personal boundaries of the escort. If one really "loves" another person then one respects their limits and boundaries. I think most really good and professional escorts probably appreciate a client who develops an attachment to them - whether they'd think of it as "love" or not depends on their definition, and it's unlikely (although not impossible) that they'd return that feeling. But if the attachment becomes "creepy" to the escort (however they would define that) then they have the ability and the right to call the "relationship" off. But we shouldn't so lightly dismiss emotions as being a legitimate part of this business. Nor should we simply ridicule those who might use the word "love." I think we should just accept that different people approach this business from different perspectives and with different needs without jumping to judgements.

As long as it's expressed appropriately and the escort in question is comfortable with it, I say go ahead and fall in love (as you understand the word) with your favourite escort.

How can say this politely. You clearly have never been in love.

 

[Jasmine Raine]

And yet, Tashki specifically said "I don't ask any of them to be my GF ..." So apparently your regular doesn't get propositioned by guys like him, since he doesn't proposition the girls.

Tashki has a healthy approach to this hobby. He likes the feel of the emotional connection. Emotions are a part of being human. He also seems to clearly understand that it's a fantasy. He knows that for him something would be lacking without the feel of the emotional connection, even if it is a fantasy.

"Love" has a variable definition. How one person defines love is different than how another person defines love. I don't think there's an easy right/wrong dichotomy here and I don't think it's possible for any one person to say to another person "what you're feeling isn't love." There are lines that can't be crossed. Not all love is healthy, or at least not all love is expressed in healthy ways. Some forms of "love" can be abusive or manipulative or controlling. In this business, any "love" one feels for an escort becomes inappropriate when it starts to be expressed in a way that crosses the personal boundaries of the escort. If one really "loves" another person then one respects their limits and boundaries. I think most really good and professional escorts probably appreciate a client who develops an attachment to them - whether they'd think of it as "love" or not depends on their definition, and it's unlikely (although not impossible) that they'd return that feeling. But if the attachment becomes "creepy" to the escort (however they would define that) then they have the ability and the right to call the "relationship" off. But we shouldn't so lightly dismiss emotions as being a legitimate part of this business. Nor should we simply ridicule those who might use the word "love." I think we should just accept that different people approach this business from different perspectives and with different needs without jumping to judgements.

As long as it's expressed appropriately and the escort in question is comfortable with it, I say go ahead and fall in love (as you understand the word) with your favourite escort.

The fact that you think love can be abusive shows you don't know what love truly is.

You don't abuse someone you love. You just don't. End stop.

You can enjoy someone's company and still abuse them but you don't love them. Not at all.

 

[Jasmine Raine]

For Christ's sake. I DON'T think love can be abusive. The point I'm making is that different people interpret love in different ways. People who truly believe they love someone can be abusive toward them. That is a PERVERSION of love, but in the eyes of the person doing the abusing, it is love. As I said, "not all love is healthy."

What I'm saying is that in the context of an escort "relationship" if the client feels that they "love" the escort - as long as all the proper boundaries are maintained, why do you feel the need to correct them? Neither you - nor teach - are the arbiter of what "love" is. You have opinions, but nothing more - as you yourself have said.

So I'm not allowed to have my own opinion of what love is???

Sorry, but you can't have it both ways.

The OP asked for opinions and stated his. I gave them. I'm not insulting him or you or anyone else.

It is not love to abuse. Period. You even agree with that. Which thank you for clarifying.

Just because the person thinks it is, doesn't mean they are correct. People think incorrect things all the time. In my.opinion, you guys are incorrect about your definition of love. I said I was willing to agreed to disagree on that point but you seem to want to dictate to me what my opinion should be and if my opinion doesn't coincide with yours, then that means my opinion is not valid. Yet you say everybody else is able to have their own definition of love in what would be based upon their opinion. Not really fair are you?

And BTW, Just because I feel your definition of love is incorrect doesn't mean I'm judging you. I am just saying that it's incorrect. You're free to do whatever it is that you want. I hold no judgment against you or what it is that you're doing because you were still respecting the boundaries of the person that you were with. So to me it doesn't matter what you do. But the OP brought up this topic for conversation and discussion. So that is exactly what I'm doing. Why you are taking it so personally is beyond me and maybe that is something that you should be looking into instead of telling us what to do with our opinions.

 

[legmann]

Some of these guys are so fucking emotionally unsophisticated that they are bordering on delusional.

Tend to agree. The number of threads like this that inevitably appear is becoming ridiculous.

 

[malata]

 

[|2 /-\ | /|/]

Tend to agree. The number of threads like this that inevitably appear is becoming ridiculous.

Its becoming ridiculous how many comments come up like this.

No, there is not a lot of threads about this and trust me on this, I look for these types of threads each day and have been on these forums for the past 10 years. I do however see the pattern each time someone brings them up and the responses, and reactions. It’s quite interesting the dynamics that it generates from all sides of the spectrum, and very similar patterns emerge. It stimulates a lot of people and resonates their vibration.

If it wasn’t for this industry I never would understand what love really is. I remember giving up on everything with young kids, resenting the wife and the life we have, family, everything...it was all going to shit and was working ridiculous hours and probably getting a few hours of sleep each day.

I remember sitting in one of the contracts pick up trucks at the back at 3am and half conscious listening to one of the conversations and they mentioning how they have a good friend that works at blue lagoon MP. Thats all it took the seed got planted, it germinated and grew causing me eventually to go to the Blue Lagoon, then SRM and evening changed. It led me on an amazing journey to understand my life, what it all means, the purpose, the people, the dynamics, everything started to make sense and I stopped resenting to the point that I started loving everything and everyone around me even the ones who want to see me suffer and bring me down. I realized god is love and each time we feel love we feel god. Remember Mary Magdalene was a prostitute and look at how well that turned out for them. All it took was them to feel the LOVE.

Prostitute or not the fundamentals remain the same and similar patterns with people, relationships and dynamics get repeated time and time again.

I know god is all around us and thats why i like the rain...

I now understand how all the suffering eventually leads you to your source and its purpose.

So yeah keep these threads going and fuck the haters and made do it quite literally