Before I get to my problem I’ll give a little background about my self as it’s relevant.
By the standards of this hobby, I’m very young, and started to venture in this hobby as it gave me a drama free way to release some of that sexual tension and focus on my work. I would normally treat my self to a girl every week , usually it’s independents and incall agencies but have also tried outcall agencies. I like the variety , or I used to .....
Recently I came across this girl via one of the agencies. I am keeping this anonymous (I know she doesent know what terb is) She is exactly my type in terms of looks (not the first girl that has been ). Personality wise she is very introverted and reserved and in the very few reviews of her it’s mentioned she can lack sensuality. This was also my experience at first but she has turned into my ATF and I see her whenever I can. I have developed strong feelings for her despite my attempts not to . Unlike other experiences after our date I’m constantly thinking about her. And it genuinely makes me happy to see her happy and spend time with her not just sexually.
Look I get it, I got into this hobby not to meet my partner and I always have balanced my emotions with logic. Because of this after I realized where this could potentially end up I told her early on how I don’t want to know her real name and how I tell the agencies when girls give me their number or contact info (a lie ). I didn’t want to take things further mainly to respect her boundaries. Whenever she talks about more personal topics I change it quickly. Since then she got the hints and stopped as well. I also told her how I’m moving to a different country soon and not looking to date in Canada.
I’ve been able to keep things casual but recently it’s been hard as I can tell she’s also interested. It’s a lot of small things that when added up make it obvious even with a pessimistic glass on. Her body language tone and attitude have had a 180 , she’s no longer the introverted shy girl. During one of our last dates she was genuinely sad that our time was up and we even tried extending but she had another appointment, was painful to see her leave like that .I once talked about going on a date with a civilian girl and she got super weird about it. I wish she was faking all this but no one is this good of an actor.
To confirm my logical thinking I’ve read comments on this board and others on not developing feelings for a SW. I even had a previous girl tell me how some guys fall in love and I always thought to my self how stupid are those guys and laughed at them with the girl. I think I’m in that situation now my self.
I decided to go on some civilian dates to fix this . To be frank , I have some things going for me that would allow me to secure nice dates but ironically have stayed away from them because of strings. I went on a date with what many would consider a catch to get my mind off the escort girl I see but it didn’t work. Ironically, again, all the civilian dates to me feel fake. I’m not my self. I can’t make my silly jokes and expect a big smile on the other end, the hugs and the contact feel without substance.
So now why am I coming here about this and risking exposing my self to her. I need help, it’s hard on me. I want to know if anyone has been in a similar situation. I know she likes me but I don’t know if she likes me as a client or more. Heck I don’t even know if I like her more outside of this “arrangement” , I haven’t tried it but I’m too scared to A) break out of my business like shell and not get a positive response and loose out on what we have together now and B) I’m scared that even if things do go further whether something that is rooted like this is healthy.
Easy answer is to just continue on how it is now but like I feel like I want more but can’t get it with her limited schedule on the agency. I could and have done full day dates but there is so much of that anyone can realistically afford.
If anyone is still reading this and could provide some insight I would appreciate it. But even writing all this was therapeutic for me.
By the standards of this hobby, I’m very young, and started to venture in this hobby as it gave me a drama free way to release some of that sexual tension and focus on my work. I would normally treat my self to a girl every week , usually it’s independents and incall agencies but have also tried outcall agencies. I like the variety , or I used to .....
Recently I came across this girl via one of the agencies. I am keeping this anonymous (I know she doesent know what terb is) She is exactly my type in terms of looks (not the first girl that has been ). Personality wise she is very introverted and reserved and in the very few reviews of her it’s mentioned she can lack sensuality. This was also my experience at first but she has turned into my ATF and I see her whenever I can. I have developed strong feelings for her despite my attempts not to . Unlike other experiences after our date I’m constantly thinking about her. And it genuinely makes me happy to see her happy and spend time with her not just sexually.
Look I get it, I got into this hobby not to meet my partner and I always have balanced my emotions with logic. Because of this after I realized where this could potentially end up I told her early on how I don’t want to know her real name and how I tell the agencies when girls give me their number or contact info (a lie ). I didn’t want to take things further mainly to respect her boundaries. Whenever she talks about more personal topics I change it quickly. Since then she got the hints and stopped as well. I also told her how I’m moving to a different country soon and not looking to date in Canada.
I’ve been able to keep things casual but recently it’s been hard as I can tell she’s also interested. It’s a lot of small things that when added up make it obvious even with a pessimistic glass on. Her body language tone and attitude have had a 180 , she’s no longer the introverted shy girl. During one of our last dates she was genuinely sad that our time was up and we even tried extending but she had another appointment, was painful to see her leave like that .I once talked about going on a date with a civilian girl and she got super weird about it. I wish she was faking all this but no one is this good of an actor.
To confirm my logical thinking I’ve read comments on this board and others on not developing feelings for a SW. I even had a previous girl tell me how some guys fall in love and I always thought to my self how stupid are those guys and laughed at them with the girl. I think I’m in that situation now my self.
I decided to go on some civilian dates to fix this . To be frank , I have some things going for me that would allow me to secure nice dates but ironically have stayed away from them because of strings. I went on a date with what many would consider a catch to get my mind off the escort girl I see but it didn’t work. Ironically, again, all the civilian dates to me feel fake. I’m not my self. I can’t make my silly jokes and expect a big smile on the other end, the hugs and the contact feel without substance.
So now why am I coming here about this and risking exposing my self to her. I need help, it’s hard on me. I want to know if anyone has been in a similar situation. I know she likes me but I don’t know if she likes me as a client or more. Heck I don’t even know if I like her more outside of this “arrangement” , I haven’t tried it but I’m too scared to A) break out of my business like shell and not get a positive response and loose out on what we have together now and B) I’m scared that even if things do go further whether something that is rooted like this is healthy.
Easy answer is to just continue on how it is now but like I feel like I want more but can’t get it with her limited schedule on the agency. I could and have done full day dates but there is so much of that anyone can realistically afford.
If anyone is still reading this and could provide some insight I would appreciate it. But even writing all this was therapeutic for me.
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