What do you like to call it?

[Cybercdn]

The other day my girlfriend and I had dinner with another couple and the topic of what do you call masturbation came up. We came up with a few sayings, just want to know a few others you may have.

Waxing the Dolphin
Shaking hands with Mr. Happy
The five finger shuffle
Pounding the pud

Please feel free to add.

 

[homonger]

Flog the log
Slam the ham
Jerkin the gherkin
Spank the monkey

My favorite, because it is the most simple and most direct is:

Whack off

 

[Avery]

Here are some, but what about female masturbation?

Action verbs followed by "off":

shag off (now obsolete, but it was the first term I ever heard for it. Thanks to Austin Powers, the British meaning of shag = f**k has taken hold in North America)

jerk off

whack off

beat off

pull off

stroke off

Vaguely abusive terms (usually of inanimate objects):

bop the bologna

bop the banana

beat the bishop (I presume because of the phallic shape of the chess piece)

whomp the willie

whip the skippy

Animal abuse

flog the dolphin

spank the monkey

whip the weasel

choke the chicken (from CB radio's heyday)


But what about women? Where are the equivalent terms for female masturbation? Let's invent some!

I've scratched my head, and all I can come up with on short notice is "flit the clit".

Any other suggestions?

 

[Average Joe]

I always liked "Honk on Bobo".

 

[Quest4Less]

Making love to the palm sisters....

 

[Chivas Regal]

For men.......Pull the Goalie

For women...... Five finger exercises.

 

[keeferz]

lol @ pull the goalie

Is that the problem with the Leafs?

 

[Avery]

.....Playing the skin flute

Actually, that means giving (not receiving) a BJ.

Originally posted by longfirmleggss
ohhhhhhh you men are sooooooooo romantic i must say.......

love Annalee

ps......kissssssss hiya Avery

kissssssss hiya too, Annalee.

It's the women who make us romantic and keep us civilized. Even the expressions we use among ourselves for a solitary activity such as this one are quasi-violent.

BTW, I forgot "beat the meat".