Valentine's Day: For or against?

[Butler1000]

So what is the first , 3rd or top 5 nights not to work or attend on the service industry?

#1 is Mother's Day. A pure nightmare of large tables, cheap fathers who never take their wives out otherwise, cheap kids taking parents out. Long wait times, messed up kitchens, and if it can go wrong it will on that day.

#3 is New Years if they are doing a "dinner package" especially. But either way again too many out and too high expectations. As well too many bad drunks, crying girls, fights, and general stupidity.

After that its usually about what's happening locally and timing. Festivals, sporting events(especially playoffs), other entertainment(concerts, plays etc). Although usually the local places are prepped for the rushes.

Wanna a nice leisurely dinner, its all about when you go, as much as where.

 

[Jenesis]

I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels a tad miffed that we as men have the majority of the onus on us to make this a special day for the woman in our lives, if we have one.. My biggest problem with it is that this is a manufactured celebration, only created as a marketing ploy.

DON'T get me wrong, I'm as romantic as they come, I just dislike being told when and how to express how I should act/feel... Acts of love, knowing your SO's love language, is far more important than one day of wasted money, on a fake pronouncement of love, imho...

You do realize that some men do actually need to be reminded to act a romantic way towards their wives. This is the only day of the year the women gets appreciated.

Now before you all jump down my throat, I said some, not all. This does not negate what women should do either. I’m just pointing out that not all men are romantic, not all men show they care and this is the only day a woman gets treated nicely by her husband. This and maybe her birthday. She is cooking and cleaning and taking care of other shit on all the other holidays while husbands stuff their face and pass out in their chairs after dinner.

So they need this “holiday”. Thankfully I am single and I don’t. But some do.

 

[Fred Flinstone]

You do realize that some men do actually need to be reminded to act a romantic way towards their wives. This is the only day of the year the women gets appreciated.

Now before you all jump down my throat, I said some, not all. This does not negate what women should do either. I’m just pointing out that not all men are romantic, not all men show they care and this is the only day a woman gets treated nicely by her husband. This and maybe her birthday. She is cooking and cleaning and taking care of other shit on all the other holidays while husbands stuff their face and pass out in their chairs after dinner.

So they need this “holiday”. Thankfully I am single and I don’t. But some do.

This thread was not intended to discount women at all. The relationship you described seems to be very one sided, so, that makes your point very well.

 

[Jenesis]

This thread was not intended to discount women at all. The relationship you described seems to be very one sided, so, that makes your point very well.

I didn’t take it as a dig on women. I just know me and it is hard for me personally to sometimes think of how other people behave. So if you are romantic, maybe you don’t realize that a lot of times for others, this is the only romantic time a wife gets. LOL.

 

[Insidious Von]

LMAO this is what Valentine's Day is all about.

Yung Gravy dates Aunt Chippy, the romance starts at 8:06.

A rapper with a sense of humour...who knew?

 

[Fred Flinstone]

I didn’t take it as a dig on women. I just know me and it is hard for me personally to sometimes think of how other people behave. So if you are romantic, maybe you don’t realize that a lot of times for others, this is the only romantic time a wife gets. LOL.

That's horrible

 

[John Wick]

She is cooking and cleaning and taking care of other shit on all the other holidays while husbands stuff their face and pass out in their chairs after dinner.

This might have been the case in 1968, but I don't think this is a close approximation of married life / relationships in 2023.

I have to ask to broader forum - is 'romance' still an essential ingredient in modern relationships? Does it still really carry any relevant/significant weight in the overall equation of relationship health or is it simply an outdated and antiquated concept who's time is now essentially passed?

 

[Fred Flinstone]

This might have been the case in 1968, but I don't think this is a close approximation of married life / relationships in 2023.

I have to ask to broader forum - is 'romance' still an essential ingredient in modern relationships? Does it still really carry any relevant/significant weight in the overall equation of relationship health or is it simply an outdated and antiquated concept who's time is now essentially passed?

I sincerely hope that it is John, romance that is, but more important, equality, respect, and plain old division of labour are the basis for what keeps that alive. Trying to make up for being a Neanderthal the rest of the yr by buying over priced flowers and taking her to a jammed restaurant, then coming home expecting her to put out is so 1950's thinking..

 

[Jenesis]

This might have been the case in 1968, but I don't think this is a close approximation of married life / relationships in 2023.

I have to ask to broader forum - is 'romance' still an essential ingredient in modern relationships? Does it still really carry any relevant/significant weight in the overall equation of relationship health or is it simply an outdated and antiquated concept who's time is now essentially passed?

I don’t know John. I don’t see many pics, videos and the like showing the change of times and having men doing the cooking and cleaning at Christmas, Thanksgiving and Easter. I’m not saying there are not men who do this but I don’t think it is close to 50/50 yet

As for romance in the relationship and its equation of relationship health - I have no idea. Some marriages can have none and be stronger for it and the opposite I am sure can be said as well.

I just know that for some women, this is the only day they can get and if it wasn’t here, they would get no romance at all. They would get gifts for holidays but gifts don’t equal romance, or at least it shouldn’t.

But what do I know??? LOL. My ex would give me a card he tried to shred 3 days prior because he was drunk and pissed off. I mean I don’t know why I didn’t get the warm fuzzies from that.

 

[Greytop19]

She is cooking and cleaning and taking care of other shit on all the other holidays while husbands stuff their face and pass out in their chairs after dinner.

Might as well add she wears slutty lingerie, blows, gets banged, wears rags and the man's bank account gets an automatic monthly deposit from heaven.

 

[John Wick]

I sincerely hope that it is John, romance that is, but more important, equality, respect, and plain old division of labour are the basis for what keeps that alive. Trying to make up for being a Neanderthal the rest of the yr by buying over priced flowers and taking her to a jammed restaurant, then coming home expecting her to put out is so 1950's thinking..

Fair enough. My working hypothesis formed through interactions with many varied couples from business and personal connections is that typically nowadays there is a pretty equal division of labour between bth parties simply out of necessity and a more modern set of principles, attitudes and values women in particular have adopted in 2023. The same cannot be said of couples from even 15-20 years ago.

 

[John Wick]

If I take this description of romance, among the millions out there, I ask - do we still require these overt, fabricated gestures in modern relationships as an essential ingredient to strong relationship health, or is romance actually more organic and fundamental in its nature and presence in every day interactions so that the very concept of romance is, in 2023, both unnecessary and obsolete as a concept?

'Being romantic is about expressing love and dedication in a way that's intentional, unmistakable, and deeply affectionate. It often involves dramatic or passionate gestures, though smaller actions that indicate enduring affection can also be romantic.'

 

[Greytop19]

I don’t know John. I don’t see many pics, videos and the like showing the change of times and having men doing the cooking and cleaning at Christmas, Thanksgiving and Easter. I’m not saying there are not men who do this but I don’t think it is close to 50/50 yet

As for romance in the relationship and its equation of relationship health - I have no idea. Some marriages can have none and be stronger for it and the opposite I am sure can be said as well.

I just know that for some women, this is the only day they can get and if it wasn’t here, they would get no romance at all. They would get gifts for holidays but gifts don’t equal romance, or at least it shouldn’t.

But what do I know??? LOL. My ex would give me a card he tried to shred 3 days prior because he was drunk and pissed off. I mean I don’t know why I didn’t get the warm fuzzies from that.

Too bad your ex is not on this forum to defend himself. Seems like you have mentioned him in other threads. No wonder he is a drunk.

 

[shack]

I think that they should get rid of it. 364 1/4 days is enough.

 

[Bearitone]

Single so I don't really care but I do prefer the Japanese iteration of it where it's two holidays. One where women give a gift and a week or two later the man reciprocates

It's actually a month apart, and it's Red Day and White Day. White day is March 14th and for the women.