Too Many Friends?

[MissCroft]

http://therelativeabsolute.wordpres...nds-aristotle-friendship-and-social-networks/


It probably sounds arrogant but sometimes I feel like I have too many friends and acquaintances. I know that it doesn't seem like a problem but find it just takes up so much of my time that I am not able to live the life I want. I often feel obligated to spend time with certain people when I would rather be doing something else. Does anyone else ever feel that way? :frown:

Don't get me wrong, I adore most of my friends. But, like the article says, feel I'm happier with a few close friends as opposed to having several not-so-close friends. With some, I'm content just seeing them once in a while but some want to get together much more often than that, making me feel obligated. Sometimes when I say I can't get together on a certain day because I'm busy I'm made to feel bad...."You're always busy", "Call me when have you some time for me", etc. Sometimes I'm not that busy but just feel I would rather stay home by myself. Is that so wrong? Apparently it is according to some people I know.

I also find I spend so much time responding to e-mails and texts from friends... it doesn't sound bad but the time really adds up when you're doing that everyday. Yes, I know I waste a lot of time on Terb, lol, but that's my choice. The worst is when someone e-mails or texts and you don't respond right away and they get annoyed. I have a life - I'm not on my blackberry all day long.

I also feel that it occasionally gets in the way of escorting i.e. I have to turn away dates because I'm busy with other plans. Therefore I'm losing money. Sounds really greedy I know but it's true. If it's family or very close friends that's different. But I don't think I should make that sacrifice to go hang out with someone I'm not even that close to.

Sorry for the rant. LOL It's just something that's been getting to me lately which caused me to google the subject thus finding the article above. It makes sense. Sometimes I miss the old days - before e-mails, before cell phones, before text messages... when nobody could find me.

 

[great bear]

CC, just drop all your friends and concentrate on me!! GB

 

[hesitant]

http://therelativeabsolute.wordpres...nds-aristotle-friendship-and-social-networks/


It probably sounds arrogant but sometimes I feel like I have too many friends and acquaintances. I know that it doesn't seem like a problem but find it just takes up so much of my time that I am not able to live the life I want. I often feel obligated to spend time with certain people when I would rather be doing something else. Does anyone else ever feel that way? :frown:

Don't get me wrong, I adore most of my friends. But, like the article says, feel I'm happier with a few close friends as opposed to having several not-so-close friends. With some, I'm content just seeing them once in a while but some want to get together much more often than that, making me feel obligated. Sometimes when I say I can't get together on a certain day because I'm busy I'm made to feel bad...."You're always busy", "Call me when have you some time for me", etc. Sometimes I'm not that busy but just feel I would rather stay home by myself. Is that so wrong? Apparently it is according to some people I know.

I also find I spend so much time responding to e-mails and texts from friends... it doesn't sound bad but the time really adds up when you're doing that everyday. Yes, I know I waste a lot of time on Terb, lol, but that's choice. The worst is when someone e-mails or texts and you don't respond right away and they get annoyed. I have a life - I'm not on my blackberry all day long.

Sorry for the rant. LOL It's just something that's been getting to me lately which caused me to google the subject thus finding the article above. It makes sense. Sometimes I miss the old days - before e-mails, before cell phones, before text messages....

I'd reply, but I frankly couldn't be bothered... my life and time are too important to me to deign to waste time

 

[djk]

First world problems? First world problems.

 

[Terminator2000]

I can't access the terb website at work. its restricted. I can only access it and browse at home. This sucks. My life is ruined!

 

[MissCroft]

I know you guys are making fun of me - I recognize that it's a trivial subject but there are much more trivial threads on this board IMO.


I just feel that so many people in my life are getting angry at me because I'm not more 'available' to them. I do the best I can but am still made to feel guilty. Just wondered if anyone else here ever feels that way.

And I thought it was an interesting little article... especially the part about when one has too many friends it makes one incapable of being a true friend to any of them. Thought it had the potential to turn into an interesting discussion. But I guess I was wrong. Carry on.

 

[djk]

I know you guys are making fun of me - I recognize that it's a trivial subject but there are much more trivial threads on this board IMO.


I just feel that so many people in my life are getting angry at me because I'm not more 'available' to them. I do the best I can but am made to feel guilty. Just wondered if anyone else here ever feels that way. And I thought it was an interesting little article. But, whatever. Carry on.

 

[69Shooter]

I know you guys are making fun of me - I recognize that it's a trivial subject but there are much more trivial threads on this board IMO.


I just feel that so many people in my life are getting angry at me because I'm not more 'available' to them. I do the best I can but am made to feel guilty. Just wondered if anyone else here ever feels that way. And I thought it was an interesting little article. But, whatever. Carry on.

You're the only one that can make yourself feel guilty.

You're clearly unsure whether your feelings and attitudes are "proper". Lots of people probably feel the same as you and lots of people don't. In the end, you have to find the balance that works for you.

 

[Buick Mackane]

Valid complaint, I often feel the same way. You have to be a bit more selfish with your time, rethink some commitments.
Some activities can be useless drains on your time, that's okay if you enjoy them.
You'll put off some people but you shouldn't let them make you feel guilty.

 

[Terminator2000]

its called 'Not picking up the phone' when your call display shows that Jennifer, Joanna or Rebecca is calling.

its amazing how so many girls have such a hard time doing this. They'd rather rant and complain for hours how their ex keeps calling and they want him to stop. yet, they always always answer the phone or reply to his text messages.

there needs to be a 101 class year long course for girls on "how not to pick up the phone'

 

[djk]

its called 'Not picking up the phone' when your call display shows that Jennifer, Joanna or Rebecca is calling.

its amazing how so many girls have such a hard time doing this. They'd rather rant and complain for hours how their ex keeps calling and they want him to stop. yet, they always always answer the phone or reply to his text messages.

Because they love the drama and attention.

 

[MissCroft]

its called 'Not picking up the phone' when your call display shows that Jennifer, Joanna or Rebecca is calling.

its amazing how so many girls have such a hard time doing this. They'd rather rant and complain for hours how their ex keeps calling and they want him to stop. yet, they always always answer the phone or reply to his text messages.

there needs to be a 101 class year long course for girls on "how not to pick up the phone'

Believe me, I'm very good at ignoring people and not answering the phone. lol But in this age of cell phones and text messages, etc. it's becoming harder for people to do so. Do you guys remember the days when you called someone and if they weren't home, they weren't home...end of story.

 

[Terminator2000]

Because they love the drama and attention.

Its called 'Boredom'...

 

[69Shooter]

Believe me, I'm very good at ignoring people and not answering the phone. lol But in this day of cell phones and text messages, etc. it's becoming harder for people to do so. Do you guys remember the days when you called someone and if they weren't home, they weren't home...end of story.

Sure do. But, there's no way you're old enough to remember them!

 

[MissCroft]

Its called 'Boredom'...

Yes, I am a bit bored right now, I admit it. But this is the only time I'll have to myself today so I'm taking advantage of it. I suppose I could be doing something more productive like cleaning the house, lol.


Isn't 'Boredom' a big reason why people post in the lounge? Not sure why I'm being singled out. There are hundreds of threads on this board where you can attack the OP for posting 'boring' topics. I just did a quick scan of the thread titles on pages 1 and 2 of the lounge - Without singling anybody out, apparently I'm not the only one here that has started a boring thread.

 

[Terminator2000]

Yes, I am a bit bored right now, I admit it. But this is the only time I have to myself today so I'm taking advantage of it. I suppose I could be doing something more productive like cleaning the house, lol.


Isn't 'Boredom' a big reason why people post in the lounge? Not sure why I'm being singled out. There are hundreds of threads on this board where you can attack the OP for posting 'boring' topics. I just did a quick scan of the thread titles on pages 1 and 2 of the lounge - Without singling anybody out, apparently I'm not the only one here that has started a boring thread.

because if a girl wants drama and attention. She's just being a woman.

but if a guy wants drama and attention. He's being creepy, a pervert and/or harassing her. (this applies ten-fold in the workplace)

 

[mynameisearl11]

Not sure if you read the same article (too busy to open the link,lol) as I did awhile back. The correct number of friends everyone should have is around four or five people. You didn't mention your marital status. If you are single,its normal to have a high number of 'unwanted' friends. Young people do like to party! But, as you moved on to marriage life, trust me your friends who remains single will start to fade away from you! Been there,done that! Research shows that you only need two couples to hang out with if you are a married person. You could do a spring cleaning from your list of friends by grouping them. For example, you could have face book friends, clubbing friends, business friends and a small circle of vip friends.
Good luck.

 

[MissCroft]

Apparently when a man starts a boring thread that doesn't appeal to others, it's perfectly acceptable. When a woman does it, she's looking for attention.

 

[djk]

Apparently when a man starts a boring thread that doesn't appeal to others, it's perfectly acceptable. When a woman does it, she's looking for attention.

I think people have that perception because women are very obvious and frequent about their need for attention.

Similar to how guys are dogs when it comes to sex but most women are not labeled as such. Guys are very direct and frequent about their need for it.

 

[69Shooter]

Apparently when a man starts a boring thread that doesn`t appeal to others, it`s perfectly acceptable. When a woman does it, she`s looking for attention.

On the contrary...

https://terb.cc/vbulletin/showthread.php?380599-Mel-Gibson-rants-again-........