Hot Pink List

Too Many Friends?

Rockslinger

Banned
Apr 24, 2005
32,776
0
0
Isn't 'Boredom' a big reason why people post in the lounge?
Actually, I come on the Board for its entertainment value. More fun than a barrel full of monkeys. Hee, hee, hee. BTW: I have no friends. Check my profile. It says you have no friends. Hee, hee, hee.
 

LKD

Active member
Aug 6, 2006
5,063
7
38
totally agree with you... True friends should understand that everyone has a life of their own to live and should not be upset if one only choose to see them every few months or so. Some people have an addiction to aquire as many friends as they can. Its a sickness like putting too much worth on materialistic goods, money, fame etc. I rather spend that time I waste on so called 'fake friends' by doing things more worthwhile like learning new things, getting new experiences etc. Ever realize that the most productive and interesting people are usually ones who seem to have only a few friends.? They ones who call the whole city their 'friends' are usually ones good for nothing.
 

LKD

Active member
Aug 6, 2006
5,063
7
38
Think of the opposite, many people have few or no friends... no one to confide in, no one to socialize with, when people are social animals.

I will say, I have dumped many "friends" over the years who are takers and offer nothing in return... like friends who only call when they need something moved, or help with renovations and the like. Good riddance, fewer close friends are better than mmany flighty acquaintances.

Dont worry though, you need not do anything, your friends will cull you from their social networks over time.
It depends on how you look at it.. I don't mind a 'friend' who calls me every few months or perhaps years as long as he/she isn't the one who spends the rest of their time with other people and only calls me when they need something. There are people/friends who are real busy with work, career, education etc who I don't mind helping even if they've called me after many years because they're using their time wisely and towards themselves, not partying or spending time doing other things.
 

Petzel

New member
Jul 4, 2011
6,626
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Vaughan
I know you guys are making fun of me - I recognize that it's a trivial subject but there are much more trivial threads on this board IMO.


I just feel that so many people in my life are getting angry at me because I'm not more 'available' to them. I do the best I can but am still made to feel guilty. Just wondered if anyone else here ever feels that way.

And I thought it was an interesting little article... especially the part about when one has too many friends it makes one incapable of being a true friend to any of them. Thought it had the potential to turn into an interesting discussion. But I guess I was wrong. Carry on.

Read the old pyschological self help book.............."When I Say No I Feel Guilty"
 

K Douglas

Half Man Half Amazing
Jan 5, 2005
27,224
7,857
113
Room 112
I know you guys are making fun of me - I recognize that it's a trivial subject but there are much more trivial threads on this board IMO.


I just feel that so many people in my life are getting angry at me because I'm not more 'available' to them. I do the best I can but am still made to feel guilty. Just wondered if anyone else here ever feels that way.

And I thought it was an interesting little article... especially the part about when one has too many friends it makes one incapable of being a true friend to any of them. Thought it had the potential to turn into an interesting discussion. But I guess I was wrong. Carry on.
Let me ask you this question CC - would you prefer the opposite to have no friends or acquaintances?
 
I have a few close friends, and several acquaintances. My close friends understand and respect my boundaries when I do need them, they don't take offence, and they know if they really need me, I will be there.

Thankfully they are not the excessively needy type, and my friendships for the most part have a very balanced give / take ratio. Friendships work when you can be completely honest and they will truly accept how you are, even if it means them not being tightly intertwined in your life all the time.
 

mcKaos

New member
Apr 8, 2012
70
0
0
I know you guys are making fun of me - I recognize that it's a trivial subject but there are much more trivial threads on this board IMO.


I just feel that so many people in my life are getting angry at me because I'm not more 'available' to them. I do the best I can but am still made to feel guilty. Just wondered if anyone else here ever feels that way.

And I thought it was an interesting little article... especially the part about when one has too many friends it makes one incapable of being a true friend to any of them. Thought it had the potential to turn into an interesting discussion. But I guess I was wrong. Carry on.
I think what you got to do is determine those friends who would have your back in hell, the rest are just aquatints and give them the respect they are do but don't let them get you down if your time is limited. The problem really lies with how easy it is to be connected with people and how you deal with that. Just be thankful that you have such a large circle, you would miss it if it was suddenly gone.

I don't think it's trivial and it will be an issue going forward on how to manage time in a world that is so connected to one another.
 

likwid

Member
Nov 23, 2011
292
9
18
I can tell you being a loner is absolutely depressing. No girl wants a guy who has no friends because it says alot about the guy.
 

milehigh

Active member
Feb 15, 2003
1,997
2
38
I can really relate to what you are saying.

Family- they over-step their bounds, so I just lie to them. The guilt shit doesn't work, but I do check on the elderly.

Friends - When my weekends came about, it was nuts - I was going to about 20 different places. But, friends really are a blessing, so I really do try to make an effort with them. If too many things go on, I just pick what I feel I should pick, and explain to the rest that I am doing such and such this weekend. I like jam packing a weekend, anyway.

And there are certain interests including sports that everyone knows I do, and they give space.

But then again, you get a team, and there's a new set of friends.

I really do spend a lot of time with them. I get around it sometimes by doing stuff with very large groups of friends.

Friends really are special. I think I realized that when some died.

Can you imagine the opposite problem, and not having any friends?

I know you have to be patient with them sometimes, but they really are a blessing.

If you have nothing left, but you have friends, then you have a pretty good life.

Love all my friends! Hope this helps.
 
I can tell you being a loner is absolutely depressing. No girl wants a guy who has no friends because it says alot about the guy.
Some people choose not to have many friends though, being a "loner" does not necessarily mean the person isn't well liked by others. Have you never known people who are really quite great in terms of their character, that can go through anti-social periods?
 

Rockslinger

Banned
Apr 24, 2005
32,776
0
0
Some people choose not to have many friends though,
I am very selective in whom I befriend. BTW: The best way to get rid of an unwanted friend is to lend him or her $100. Guarantee you will never hear from them again. Or if you do, then they are worthy of your friendship:cool:.
 

69Shooter

New member
Jul 13, 2009
2,042
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0
I am very selective in whom I befriend. BTW: The best way to get rid of an unwanted friend is to lend him or her $100. Guarantee you will never hear from them again. Or if you do, then they are worthy of your friendship:cool:.
Hey Rock, send me $100. I promise you'll never hear from me again!
 

FatOne

Banned
Nov 20, 2006
3,474
1
0
I can tell you being a loner is absolutely depressing. No girl wants a guy who has no friends because it says alot about the guy.
It is a viscous circle. Best way to make friends is though friends. Even worse if you are a dude, hard to ask another dude "out" without giving the wrong vibe. Sure you can join something but I find that most people bolt as soon as said event is done because they have lives and at best you get a few acquaintances. Maybe norms don't have these sort of issues, I wouldn't know.
 

MissCroft

Sweetie Pie
Feb 23, 2004
7,113
849
113
Toronto
Sure do. But, there's no way you're old enough to remember them! :rolleyes:


When I was a little kid we had a rotary phone. :)




Read the old pyschological self help book.............."When I Say No I Feel Guilty"


It's actually funny that you mention that book.... I was going to mention it in my OP and then didn't. My mom has the book and I read it about 10 years ago. At the time I don't think I really 'got' it. Now I do. Some of my life is spent trying to do things for other people. I like helping people but am a bit of a pushover. I don't want to sound like a martyr but I guess I have to learn how to say no. I've had that problem for years.....



Some people choose not to have many friends though, being a "loner" does not necessarily mean the person isn't well liked by others. Have you never known people who are really quite great in terms of their character, that can go through anti-social periods?

That's exactly it. I go through periods where I want to be 'anti-social' and want to be alone but feel that no one will let me do so....
 
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