Amazon_woman said:
I do agree with you here tboy. You'd think it would actually be easier to develop a meaningful, serious relationship with a person who was once a client. After all, you KNOW the sex is amazing, you've spent a good deal of time talking and getting to know each other, you find yourself really looking forward to seeing that person again, etc. etc. Plus, considering he was once a hobbyist as well, it's less likely that your past is going to come back to bite you in the ass later on.
However, let me ask you this. If you were to fall for an escort you saw regularly (and she for you), what would be your expectations of her once you both decided to pursue the relationship? Would you expect her to be able to leave this very lucrative business right away? Would the thought of her going off to see other men drive you crazy? Would you be able to handle it without going completely ballistic at times? I mean, you KNEW what she did when you met her, it was not a shock. That is HOW you met her after all.
Would you be able to stick by her while she made the transition to another career?
Yes, escorts do have the opportunity to meet many wonderful men in this business. However, the whole transition to relationship is not as easy as you make it sound.
Diana
xoxo
Let me address your queries one at a time:
I never said it would be easy, but then again, nothing worth having is easy is it? I for one have never had anything handed to me.....ever. If I listened to the teachers and councillors in senior public school I'd be pumping gas at $4.00 per hour instead of being self employed.....
To be honest, meeting and starting a relationship with an sp doesn't scare me one bit. I think of all the long term (2+ yrs) relationships I ever had only 1 started off typically: meet, go on a date, date some more, see each other exclusively.
As for her being in the biz:
1) You are correct, I knew what I was getting into and what she did. The only way I'd get into anything more serious (like living together, marriage, etc) is if she had an exit strategy.
2) If I met an sp that I felt I connected with and wanted more from (and yes, this has happened and according to her, she felt the same) and she wanted to stay in the biz, I could handle it to a point. I equate this to something a gyno said to me when I asked him about staring at vagina's all day then coming home to his wife: He said: The ones I see all day are just "organs" to me. They are work. When I go to bed with my wife, I love her, and have an emotional connection to her so it is totally different. I could see it as: she is having sex with them, making love to me.
3) I have learned that there is no "perfect" relationship. Every one of them has their obstacles to overcome.
4) In a few of my previous relationships I had women say to me: You restrict my freedom. I said How? They said "because I meet guys that I want to be friends with, or go drinking with etc but can't because of you. I said "you're wrong. I don't limit who you can see or what you do with them. YOU do. I don't tell you who you can see or who you can do, you can do whatever YOU want to do. It is up to me to decide whether I can accept that behavious or not but that is MY decision, not yours. If you think you can't or shouldn't go out with these male friends then that is YOUR decision not mine. I chose not to flirt, chase, or otherwise fool around with other women because I don't want to, I want to be with you. Apply this to dating a working sp and the same rule applies. Who am I to tell her that she can't do her job?
As I've said, I think it could only work long term if she had an exit strategy and planned to leave the business in x years anyways (definitely NOT because of me because that would be a very sore spot in the relationship). I am a monogamous person by nature and if I ever got involved with a woman (sp or civilian) my hobbying days would be over, unless of course she was interested in a 3some that is. The key to that would be it would be for both of us, not just me playing the field as it were.
One thing I've learned as I've gotten older (and hopefully wiser!) is that relationships come in all shapes and sizes and it is rare to meet someone you can see yourself with. To not accept someone or the possible good times (and bad) you could have with her simply because of what she does for money, is just silly IMO.
I think what I'm trying to say is that I've come to realize that if you do happen to find someone you connect with on an emotional, intellectual and physical level, that why ignore or discount that person by all kinds of restrictions and or "rules"? Why not accept her for who she is, revel in the closeness you can share with her, enjoy the times you can spend together instead of limiting or preventing all that just because of what she does? I find that too many people these days have way too many criteria that someone has to meet before they will even consider them to be a possible partner. I don't expect her to be perfect because I sure as hell am not.
