The Code

[Elmore Scruggs]

this is part of the problem. bazokajoe is a happy hobbyist, single guy, needs no code. No offence, GPIDEAL, but you're telling him he should be ashamed. It's exactly this attitude that we need to change

If the hobbyist feels shame for his behaviour even as a single unattached person, how can we, as industry participants, convince the rest of Canada that you're just average men, that there's nothing wrong with purchasing sexual services, that you don't need "help" and you certainly aren't "criminals"?

Good point.
I've taken baby steps towards this, if asked I don't deny seeing escorts. I'll give a "like" to sex industry causes on facebook which friends can see. I'll wear a terb tshirt if someone prints me one. But that's a long way from normalizing the trade.

 

[Lyra Hamilton]

I LOVE YOUR RULES!

Drama is a huge turn off for me and rules which protect both my self as a Courtesan and Client are necessary so that we can move forward to creating incredible experiences while stimulating our deepest senses

Yes even I, a Courtesan or "provider" gets horny while having a life of my own to keep separate from my kinky desires



There are no guarantees of any kind written or implied. (in life) Lyra Hamilton accepts no responsibility for anything. Including cuts, sprains, insurance claims, chest pains and broken hearts.

 

[pablice]

Agreed ... but it's on us to convince the rest of society to feel differently. We have to start with our own attitudes If we don't do it ... who will? that's all I'm saying.

I totally disagree with this statement. Why would you want to change or convince anybody. This is our culture and our society. Let it be and let them evolve or devolve as time seems fit. There are many underground worlds within our main world or society. The worst thing you can do is try to change somebody or try to make them see the world as you see fit. Focus on your self, on what you can change to better yourself or get more money or improve on your life or relationship etc...don't worry about others. You can react to others and change the way you treat them based on how they act or what they do, but don't change what they think or do. No disrespect to you but let their minds be free.

 

[GPIDEAL]

Agreed ... but it's on us to convince the rest of society to feel differently. We have to start with our own attitudes If we don't do it ... who will? that's all I'm saying.

We have to find suitable proxies. A lot of us guys just wanna hobby without the world knowing. We aren't in to be trend setters or martyrs. However, in certain circumstances, we can visibly enter the debate and support the position of the SCC from a civil libertarian point of view.

 

[pablice]

I LOVE YOUR RULES! Drama is a huge turn off for me and rules which protect both my self as a Courtesan and Client are necessary so that we can move forward to creating incredible experiences while stimulating our deepest senses Yes even I, a Courtesan or "provider" gets horny while having a life of my own to keep separate from my kinky desires There are no guarantees of any kind written or implied. (in life) Lyra Hamilton accepts no responsibility for anything. Including cuts, sprains, insurance claims, chest pains and broken hearts.

+1 Exactly. It's all about getting the best out of this experience and avoiding drama for both parties. Different rules work for different ppl but we need them to remove the drama from the experience.

 

[pablice]

On the tone of drama and broken hearts this song fits the bill perfectly http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L-Jt1jSimjs&sns=em ...remember it's not personal and this is why we prefer to keep this world underground and secret. Just because we don't call or see you in months or years does not mean that we don't think or care.

 

[james1961]

On the tone of drama and broken hearts this song fits the bill perfectly http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L-Jt1jSimjs&sns=em ...remember it's not personal and this is why we prefer to keep this world underground and secret. Just because we don't call or see you in months or years does not mean that we don't think or care.

Drama is my first, middle and last name.

For some it becomes personal, you start giving your personals. After a few sessions you stop talking about the weather. It is human nature.. you just run out of bull####.

 

[Lovehobby]

I have been seeking many ladies since 2006 at least once every 2 months. Some by weekly. They have become like Friends.Don't really see the harm in that. Like having 3-4 affairs going on. Love it. Some retire find new ones.

 

[Scarey]

When i was a young Boy I had imaginary friends.I created a lush full world where these friends and I had adventures and laughter. The world went on and on and there was always fun to be had.I certainly didn't want anyone to know about this world because it was something all my own and a special place where I could lose myself.Years later I created another world where I got fucked and sucked and paid money for it........... it is special..it is all my own.......and no one ever needs to know.That's the only code you'll ever need

 

[Sophia Sinclair]

My work code is straight forward, like me.

I am entrusted with as little or as much personal information as the client gives me. I rarely if ever ask questions about their occupation or family life as I figure that is up to them to divulge to me or not. Yes, with time you get to know the client and may ask a question or two out of curiosity, usually because a topic of discussion prompts it. I try to couch any query with "I'm curious ... but I'll understand if you're not comfortable answering that" or "I don't mean to pry ..." or "I hope you don't mind my asking ..." to hopefully take the pressure off of them possibly feeling obligated to answer or making them uneasy in any way as clearly that is not why they come to see me. So far I have never had a client say no, but if they did, I'd get it.

It's simple really:

What happens and is discussed in the incall or at the outcall, stays in the incall or at the outcall!

I also expect the same discretion, courtesy and respect in return, whether I've seen you personally or not. We are all part of this community, single or not, and need to understand that. Think of it as honour among thieves.

 

[pablice]

why? because last year they called me a criminal and next year they might call you one ... no big deal....right? puuulease.

I know it sucks to feel like this, how do you think I could feel because I know that I cheat on my wife and my little with girl and their trust that they have in me with the girls from this industry. Right, it's what society wants me to believe to stigmatize my actions and make me into looser right or a dead beat dad who spends all his money on hookers right? I can look at it from that angle and would feel like the worst person in the world and like such a worthless soul. I choose not to do this, I choose to make the best of this situation and get what I need and turn it into positive, and also affect and touch the girls I meet.

How many times do each of us break the law to a certain degree. Law is there to "protect" the majority, but this does not mean that it is the absolute truth, and that you or I are criminal. Why can't you think of yourself as an essential part, somebody who heals or affects and influences. Without girls like you men like me would not have a place in this world. I can't even imagine how crazy I would go if I couldn't find your girls to connect with and share thoughts I have never shared with anybody before. Some of your girls have touched me for life. I would also go crazy from the lack of sex and probably cheat for real and most likely end up divorced. You girls save many marriages and I can't even begin to explain how much you do for guys like me, the good ones (SPs or MPAs). I am not referring to the ones that are just after our money and are afraid to open up when you see a chance.

So what if they think I am a criminal or you are a criminal, it matters how you affect other people. I know for you it's a lot harder because this is what you do and helps you make a living + you don't want to get arrested. I know it's hard to be labelled by society as a criminal. I say fuck them because many people who shape and influence our society are on terb posting, commenting and getting inspired by girls like you. I have said this many times and I believe this that I am the person today because of the girls from this industry, particularly the special ones that are brave enough to share their heart with me and help connect on another level.

Don't let others affect how you view yourself even if it's the law.

I know it doesn't mean much but I don't see you as a criminal and I do care.

 

[Titalian]

Not necessarily. You still need rules to keep your hobbying life private. What gal will date you if she knows you're a john? What would your family and friends say or think about you?

Very interesting, but I'm single now, as well, I don't need rules and so the code is completely useless to me. Plus, I don't give a rats ass what anybody thinks. This is my life and I'm not harming anyone.

 

[Sophia Sinclair]

hemingwayz,

If what you are saying is true (i.e. you're not the only one she's done/doing this too) I would hazard a guess, as that's all I can really do, that her motive was certainly ulterior and not simple curiosity or some need in her to get to know you, her good client, better.

Is she truly independent or possibly pimp/otherwise controlled? Maybe someone is coaching her to get info. that could be used as blackmail against you or maybe she's just got some funny ideas of her own. Either way, I'm certain your prudence in the matter was wise as people often don't know what's best for them.

I hope this helps!

Miss Sinful Sophia (SS)

 

[Titalian]

No offence hemingwayz, but a narcissitic gold-digger and a drunk with money, sounds like a volatile situation to me. Just saying!

 

[Sophia Sinclair]

Thank you hemingwayz!

I've been through a lot in life and have tried to learn from my mistakes and not repeat them. Admittedly, I have a slower learning curve with regard to some things/areas over others, as I'm sure everyone has their strengths and weaknesses. One thing I do understand as I get older is that I clearly don't know everything and that is why I try to keep an open mind, but will always speak my mind, especially if it's something I'm passionate about or feel that I can truly contribute to or affect in a positive way.

As for the bad date list, we ladies have to trust one another that these reports are legitimate and not vengeance or otherwise ill based. It helps when as much info. as possible is given so that we can make a more informed decision and not just take it at face value, much as you have tried to look at all the angles in the case of this particular SP and her behaviour.

 

[Thunderballs]

Fuck me, there's a code? will this be on the TERB test?

 

[pablice]

This bad date list is very interesting to me. Just curios how do you prevent malice or misuse, and what happens if somebodies name is put there for the wrong reasons. Is it on there forever, or do you update this thing periodically. Do you report on every client outing. Since there is a bad list floating around, do you girls keep the preferred client list, and reward the clients who go above and beyond what is expected from a typical client. Also, do MPAs use a similar approach. Don't get me wrong, I am all for this type of thing as you need some sort of protection mechanism, just curious how it is managed.

Thank you hemingwayz!
....
As for the bad date list, we ladies have to trust one another that these reports are legitimate and not vengeance or otherwise ill based. It helps when as much info. as possible is given so that we can make a more informed decision and not just take it at face value, much as you have tried to look at all the angles in the case of this particular SP and her behaviour.

 

[pablice]

This is exactly what I am talking about and is taking this hobby to a whole new level. This would be considered the lower end of level 2, where upper end would be meeting her civie friends and family and pretending that you are just "friends", where level 3 would be possibly marriage or leaving your SO or even long term i.e.5-10+ years. I know there are guys who have gone to all levels while the majority stay at level 1.

The way I see it is that you need a particular mindset to take this hobby to a whole new level and develop deep levels of trust to take it further. If any person in this game feels that the other is not ready or there on the same level it will not develop further. To me the code helps with this while protecting you and the other party. The further you go the more power you gain to hurt the other party involved.

If you are not ready to play with fire, step aside and let the big boys play. I say lets dance!

BTW thx for sharing your experience hemingwayz, as we can all learn from it.

Sofia, we have all made mistakes in the past and all we can do is learn from them. the sp I saw who was my first real bad experience was initially someone who I felt very comfortable with, especially being seen in public with. I enjoyed her date like experience as it let me escape back to my 20s where I had a lot of fun dating. I was also happy that people would just assume we were a real couple.

Sofia for the reasons you write, that is precisely why I forgave her. When I was her age I was making all sorts of mistakes and I failed to see how sometimes pride got in the way of solving problems in a constructive way. Funny enough I could kind of see her own pride getting in the way of doing the right thing. I was once incredibly cocky about all sorts of stuff and this actually just led to painful and needless mistakes. I actually hope she learns from this out burst and I hope she is not screwing over other clients. A few guys did pm me about her saying they felt ripped off so I definitely cannot be the first one to experience a shit experience. I look for value out of any thing I spend $ on in my life. With escorts my view has always been that they can charge w/e they want as long as they are satisfying my need to escape every now and then.

@titalian, that would be a very fitting description of her but In a strange twisted way the only thing that logically explains her behaviour is that she was narcissistic and jealous of my previous ATF sp. her last parting words to me in person were "just because your well dressed you think you can get whatever you want?" Again very bizarre. I concluded she must have been drunk too because none of this stuff made any sense. She happens to be somewhat clever (you could say a master at marketing herself) and sometimes people who are a little clever and think so over estimate their abilities. They don't realize that there are a lot of people out there light years beyond them but remain fundamentally good people. I thought once she sobered up the next day she would just apologize. Now I'll post face this by saying that we racked up a 250 dollar bar tab before this. However it wasn't an apology the next day it was even more ridiculous and false accusations and threats. Incredible.

Lessons learned : always protect yourself and never expect an sp to keep up drinking with me.

 

[TeasePlease]

Pabby's list is pretty good, IMO. A few comments:

1. Following those rules certainly gives you a belief (illusion?) that you're in control. Whether you are actual in control is debatable.

2. Even single guys need rules. In some respects, they are more vulnerable than married guys to breaching boundaries.

3. Keeping this shit confidential isn't that hard. Guys who get caught usually do so because they get sloppy.

 

[Titalian]

Pabby's list is pretty good, IMO. A few comments:

1. Following those rules certainly gives you a belief (illusion?) that you're in control. Whether you are actual in control is debatable.

2. Even single guys need rules. In some respects, they are more vulnerable than married guys to breaching boundaries.

3. Keeping this shit confidential isn't that hard. Guys who get caught usually do so because they get sloppy.

As I said, for single guys there are no rules, only simple common sense.