The Big D Conspiracy

[empuser999]

This is an honest question... a poll if you will (oh the puns). First world problems I know... but this isn't a troll question either.

Is there a conspiracy between most women to act like a man has a painfully large penis? I've seen comedians like Jo Kim joke about it.

I can't help but wonder if some guys like to think, "oh yeah!" and some women are nice enough to play into that fantasy.

For me though, causing pain to someone is a horrible turn off... and a mood killer. Too deep isn't really a compliment in my opinion.

Do you think it's safe to continue assuming that they're not saying 'ease up' to make me feel good? Or is that just a thing?

 

[james t kirk]

Can someone translate that into English.

 

[hamermill]

Can someone translate that into English.

I got brain tumour from reading that

 

[Grimnul]

I think he’s attempting to humblebrag about having a big dick.

 

[empuser999]

Wow... ok... my bad....

Guess I'm the only weirdo.

You see, I have this thing where I don't really pick up on social cues, or whether I'm being made fun of, or when people are being serious or sarcastic. I fake it pretty well for the most part but that's because I can copy like a parrot. For example, I hate eye contact, it makes me uncomfortable... but not making eye contact apparently means I'm lying, or means I'm shifty... so I have to creep myself out to make other people feel comfortable and literally spent years on emulating just the right amount of eye contact. Score one for the parrot.

Sadly, this is a real question - not a way to humblebrag. I imagine if I wanted to brag I'd post a picture of my penis and a ruler or bank note for scale. (Anyone who watches porn wouldn't be very impressed though...)

In plain English I want to know:

1. Would a woman pretend a man has a painfully large penis in order to try make him feel good about himself? (Is this a popular joke?)

2. If it is a joke, how do I get them to not do it? (Because hurting someone makes me want to actually throw up)

3. If it's not a joke, how can I know for sure? (Since, as I said - I generally have no fucking clue whether people are being straight with me)

 

[Frankfooter]

Wow... ok... my bad....

Guess I'm the only weirdo.

You see, I have this thing where I don't really pick up on social cues, or whether I'm being made fun of, or when people are being serious or sarcastic. I fake it pretty well for the most part but that's because I can copy like a parrot. For example, I hate eye contact, it makes me uncomfortable... but not making eye contact apparently means I'm lying, or means I'm shifty... so I have to creep myself out to make other people feel comfortable and literally spent years on emulating just the right amount of eye contact. Score one for the parrot.

Sadly, this is a real question - not a way to humblebrag. I imagine if I wanted to brag I'd post a picture of my penis and a ruler or bank note for scale. (Anyone who watches porn wouldn't be very impressed though...)

In plain English I want to know:

1. Would a woman pretend a man has a painfully large penis in order to try make him feel good about himself? (Is this a popular joke?)

2. If it is a joke, how do I get them to not do it? (Because hurting someone makes me want to actually throw up)

3. If it's not a joke, how can I know for sure? (Since, as I said - I generally have no fucking clue whether people are being straight with me)

empuser, you sound like you might be borderline spectrum and it may be making your communication here harder for all of us to understand. If you are, congrats on figuring out mostly how to fit in.
Tell us what happened or is happening in more detail, like what the supposed joke is, who said it and how many times and in what context or what else was going on in the conversation.
Its quite possible that the joke was sarcastic, meaning to make fun of smaller penis size and its quite possible it was meant as a jokey complement on the size of someone's junk and/or 'manliness'.

 

[empuser999]

Yeah, I have plenty of "stuff" on the spectrum. Nothing to brag about... none of the good rainman shit. Or maybe just enough that my coworkers put up with me... (I think?)

Precisely, my penis is 7 1/4" long. But nothing like those meat hammers the porn guys are swinging around.

In mish, more often then not she (the women I've slept with, pros and civilians) will make a face and sometimes say something about taking it easy.

I am paranoid about hurting people.

I've seen comedians and movies make fun about how women will tell guys "Ouch, it's so big!" And academically it makes sense that a guy might take it as a compliment... for me it's pretty dumb, scary even. I mean why lie about that?

I was also aware that I might be accused of humblebrag but couldnt avoid it on my first attempt at communicating.

 

[Frankfooter]

I would expect that the 'taking it easy' has more to do with your technique than your size.
Try starting with cowgirl, where the girl is on top and in control, noting how fast and how hard or soft they like it and try to mimic that for them the same way you mimic facial control.
You can even see how deep she'll take it on her own, though quite a few women don't like it if you're going deep enough to hit their cervix, others are quite ok with deeper penetration. Look for the signals of what they do like.

 

[empuser999]

Interesting, I think you're very right. Most ladies seem to want to start on top, I bet that's why for some of them! That really adds up. Mostly in my personal life... but there was definitely one SP named Jordyn (gorgeous spinner) she looked 'suspiciously?' (Thats a guess) at my erection then up at me and said: "Is it ok if I start on top?" I probably drooled and nodded (she was so hot). Now in context, I think she wanted to be comfortable.

All this time I thought it was like a script to usually start on top. Huh! I'm going to try asking to start in CG and see if there's a difference over all.

Thank you Frankfooter!!!

 

[Frankfooter]

Please report back.

 

[Mimician]

Talking about first world problems even on this forum!

It's fine as long as she's well lubed and you take it slowly, even better if you pay attention to her body cues.

 

[hamermill]

Interesting, I think you're very right. Most ladies seem to want to start on top, I bet that's why for some of them! That really adds up. Mostly in my personal life... but there was definitely one SP named Jordyn (gorgeous spinner) she looked 'suspiciously?' (Thats a guess) at my erection then up at me and said: "Is it ok if I start on top?" I probably drooled and nodded (she was so hot). Now in context, I think she wanted to be comfortable.

All this time I thought it was like a script to usually start on top. Huh! I'm going to try asking to start in CG and see if there's a difference over all.

Thank you Frankfooter!!!

Try some foreplay - google that term because it seems as if you don’t know what you that is.

 

[Smallcock]

You need to be doing anal because that way depth is a non-issue. If they're telling you, you're big, it's because you are. I'm never told that.

 

[basketcase]

I think he’s attempting to humblebrag about having a big dick.

Or he realises that the compliments he gets from the pros don't match reality.

And yes it happens. Just like men, women are different sizes and I doubt they have fun having their cervix pounded.

I dated one petite girl who would only do cowgirl so she could be in control. I was good with that.