Would like if someone was to shed some light on how sugaring arrangements work. What is the outlay, and what is on offer in return etc.
Any downfalls would be helpful too.
Any downfalls would be helpful too.
Sugaring?
- Thread starter Hihoonthelilo
- Start date
Sign up on Seeking.
Browse through profiles and fire off some messages until you find some girls that are interested. These “sugar babies” are not escorts (although there are escorts that use Seeking), so do not expect that every girl on there will be interested just because you’ll pay her. Many of them very much care about what you look like. Some of them are extremely selective. Sometimes you'll get lucky and meet someone right away, other times it can take a while.
If you bring up money, such as PPM or allowances, through messages on the website, you risk being banned. The owner, Brandon Wade, wants deniability should the government crackdown on the website facilitating the sale and purchase of sex. You want to get girls off the website to text or instant messenger (e.g., Signal, SnapChat, WhatsApp). There you can communicate openly. There you can discuss the particulars of the arrangement.
Pay Per Meet (PPM) for a date that includes intimacy is the most common “mutually beneficial” arrangement, where you agree to a dollar figure per date (not per hour). The date is going to end back at the hotel or your place. The range is around $350 to $500 in Ottawa and pretty much everywhere in Canada. On some of the sugar communities on Reddit, there are men that brag about getting lower PPMs, but in my experience is that girls will balk at you. The SBs will exaggerate their PPM.
A lot of these girls are students or young professionals, so do not expect that they are going to host, nor are they going to pay for hotels. That’s on you. If you can host, you’ll save a lot of money.
A lot of these girls want to be wined and dined, want to be taken out shopping, and other such things. If you’re just looking to meet up once a week for sex, best to be open with your intentions, because they will not be pleased if they expect one thing but get another. A lot of these girls do not identify as a "sex worker," and they may just see this as an untraditional relationship rather than work. Many will object to being treated like an escort. Of course, there are girls that will do the basic sex-money transaction.
The average girl on Seeking is less experienced sexually than a career escort, but there are far less restrictions and many will get into the roleplay. You’ll never find a SP that provides GFE that comes anywhere close to a good sugar experience.
A lot of them want a longer-term arrangement. There’s obviously no guarantee they’ll get this, but it’s typically what they want. Some might even want an exclusive arrangement, some will be straight forward with this desire and others will just hint at it. If you do not agree to this, the girls may be more vigilant about their sexual health.
My approach is to see how responsive a girl on Seeking is. Get them off the website to chat. Tell them I’m looking for 2-4 dates a month, 3-4 hours in length, and will offer $500 PPM and expect intimacy. I’ll also tell them my preference is to host in my downtown condo, but I’ll do hotels until they’re comfortable with coming to my place (a lot of them will be fine with me hosting). If they are agreeable, than I suggest a meet and greet to better feel each other out. I will not give them a PPM or any kind of gift as agreement for these.
Browse through profiles and fire off some messages until you find some girls that are interested. These “sugar babies” are not escorts (although there are escorts that use Seeking), so do not expect that every girl on there will be interested just because you’ll pay her. Many of them very much care about what you look like. Some of them are extremely selective. Sometimes you'll get lucky and meet someone right away, other times it can take a while.
If you bring up money, such as PPM or allowances, through messages on the website, you risk being banned. The owner, Brandon Wade, wants deniability should the government crackdown on the website facilitating the sale and purchase of sex. You want to get girls off the website to text or instant messenger (e.g., Signal, SnapChat, WhatsApp). There you can communicate openly. There you can discuss the particulars of the arrangement.
Pay Per Meet (PPM) for a date that includes intimacy is the most common “mutually beneficial” arrangement, where you agree to a dollar figure per date (not per hour). The date is going to end back at the hotel or your place. The range is around $350 to $500 in Ottawa and pretty much everywhere in Canada. On some of the sugar communities on Reddit, there are men that brag about getting lower PPMs, but in my experience is that girls will balk at you. The SBs will exaggerate their PPM.
A lot of these girls are students or young professionals, so do not expect that they are going to host, nor are they going to pay for hotels. That’s on you. If you can host, you’ll save a lot of money.
A lot of these girls want to be wined and dined, want to be taken out shopping, and other such things. If you’re just looking to meet up once a week for sex, best to be open with your intentions, because they will not be pleased if they expect one thing but get another. A lot of these girls do not identify as a "sex worker," and they may just see this as an untraditional relationship rather than work. Many will object to being treated like an escort. Of course, there are girls that will do the basic sex-money transaction.
The average girl on Seeking is less experienced sexually than a career escort, but there are far less restrictions and many will get into the roleplay. You’ll never find a SP that provides GFE that comes anywhere close to a good sugar experience.
A lot of them want a longer-term arrangement. There’s obviously no guarantee they’ll get this, but it’s typically what they want. Some might even want an exclusive arrangement, some will be straight forward with this desire and others will just hint at it. If you do not agree to this, the girls may be more vigilant about their sexual health.
My approach is to see how responsive a girl on Seeking is. Get them off the website to chat. Tell them I’m looking for 2-4 dates a month, 3-4 hours in length, and will offer $500 PPM and expect intimacy. I’ll also tell them my preference is to host in my downtown condo, but I’ll do hotels until they’re comfortable with coming to my place (a lot of them will be fine with me hosting). If they are agreeable, than I suggest a meet and greet to better feel each other out. I will not give them a PPM or any kind of gift as agreement for these.
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Wow. Thanks for the detailed response.
Well on to try something new. Lets see how that goes.
Downfalls might include the monthly fee Seeking will expect. It's now running about $120 U.S. / month I believe - less if you sign up for a three month gig. There are 'specials' - Valentine's Day, Christmas time. Without paying the fee you can create an account and get some idea what the prospects are like, but you will have zero functionality to contact anyone. Ottawa has tons more traffic compared with, say, Kingston. With school starting again in September you may find the numbers increase. Cautionary notes: a substantial number of promising profiles are created and posted, then the user is never to be seen or heard from again. Also, a good number of profiles have older creation dates - women who are not seen for months, then re-appear, but don't reply to inquiries. I seriously wonder if SA pushes out dormant profiles just to give the impression there's more traffic than there really is. And lastly, expect loads of garbage traffic - especially from South America. Profiles that "favorite" you, with details entirely in Spanish. Give it a whirl.
My main issue with sugaring is that it doesn't have the implicit MAD situation that visiting a sex worker does. Someone in the sex trade has every reason to maintain your discretion, because they have as much to lose as you do. Some student looking for some money on the side does not, even though arguably it's also a form of prostitution. You could easily end up being blackmailed. Still, I've considered indulging in the past. The high price of monthly subscriptions and the possibility of these sites being hacked is another deterrent.
Be careful talking about this here, by the way. The mods have come down hard on these discussions before, especially in relation to ways of keeping costs down.
Be careful talking about this here, by the way. The mods have come down hard on these discussions before, especially in relation to ways of keeping costs down.
Yes. I just found out about the monthly fee for the "seeking" subscription and it is a no go for me from there. I am not willing to spend on a subscription. I have always noticed on subscription sites like these that there are many be 10% of the profiles that are active and true, the rest is just garbage that the sites are pushing to keep you engaged.
However met one gentleman who did find an arrangement on the site. And Sinfulmarv makes two. Still skeptical.
Will see if there are other alternatives for finding an arrangement.
While I don't think that SWers have any more reason to be discrete, there is no ongoing long term relationship with them. So the information shared is a lot less. With an arrangement the amount of information shared will be a lot more so higher chance of a bad situation IMHO. Although more information = Better connection = better sexy times, so the allure. Financially, though, I think sugaring will be more expensive.
However met one gentleman who did find an arrangement on the site. And Sinfulmarv makes two. Still skeptical.
Will see if there are other alternatives for finding an arrangement.
While I don't think that SWers have any more reason to be discrete, there is no ongoing long term relationship with them. So the information shared is a lot less. With an arrangement the amount of information shared will be a lot more so higher chance of a bad situation IMHO. Although more information = Better connection = better sexy times, so the allure. Financially, though, I think sugaring will be more expensive.
My experience sucked. Tons of fake ads. A few I connected with who seemed down to earth but wanted me to forward them money before even meeting, assuming I’m an idiot desperate e out to light my money on fire.
I did find 2 or three that wanted to text offline and we got to the details but they couldn’t host. Just never worked out. I like SPs and strippers more.
I did find 2 or three that wanted to text offline and we got to the details but they couldn’t host. Just never worked out. I like SPs and strippers more.
Just an afterthought, inspired by your perspective (and before the whole entry gets scrubbed - though Sugaring is what ladies (mostly) have done to maintain the smooth silky look, which might extend the life of the thread a bit). There certainly does seem to be an entitlement complex that goes with being an SB. Money up front, and in numerous instances the notion that an 'engaging, intelligent personality' fully satisfies SD's needs. Right.
I struck out as well. For SW on site - I would have assumed the stabilty & dependabilty of of the arrangement would be an attraction
I have been on the site on and off for years. In general, i have found times that I connect with a really fun sb the same day i sign up and times where the month evaporates with nothing meaningful.
Lately, it's been quite annoying. Yes, self-entitled seems to be the overall mindset these days.
Lately, it's been quite annoying. Yes, self-entitled seems to be the overall mindset these days.
I’m willing to bet most have no intention to live up to their side of the arrangement.
Attachments
You are encountering more than just “entitlement,” but girls that actively hustle people.
There are some sugar communities that refer to them as “rinsers,” which are women that tell you it takes time for them to become comfortable with intimacy, but they really have no intention of providing it. They will predictably go on about how “valuable” their time is, how they are not an "escort," and expect to be compensated for platonic dates until you come to your senses.
Once you start pushing for some sugar in return, you’ll never hear from them again.
There is also your “online only” or “platonic only” sugar babies, exacerbated by COVID-19 and TikTok girls that tell all kinds of sugar dating fables for attention. I once watched a clip of a very average looking woman claim to be getting a $20,000 monthly allowance for a sexless arrangement. Really? It blows my mind that people actually believe these claims. What's more, these girls that attempt platonic only are not always straightforward about it, but try to be coy by asking questions like, "What does mutually beneficial mean to you?"
We both know exactly what it means. And I am always explicit that our relationships will involve hosting and intimacy.
Once they discover that virtually every man on Seeking (or otherwise) wants sex, they typically exit the scene.
This is why setting up meet and greets is an important strategy. I'll never agree to PPM or mandatory fee for a M&G, because this is simply an opportunity to get to know each other. If there is good rapport and I liked the girl, I'll give her a $100 gift as a gesture of goodwill. It's not something I tell her in advance. If both parties want to move forward, than PPM starts when there is an agreed-upon arrangement in place.
All of my first official sugar dates have concluded with sex. No money was ever given up front, only once they are back at my condo.
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google around.
these dating and sugar sites are a scam that preys upon the desperation of a man's inability to stop seeking new sexual encounters.
these sites are about 80% fake profiles, with site employees engaging in messaging to lure in men and keep them subscribed.
the real women on sugar sites are either sex workers or princesses looking for a payout while providing the least amount of sugar back to the man as possible.
there are no easy answers here, unless a man has unlimited financial resources.
most men don't have an endless supply of disposable cash to hand over to someone who intends to manipulate the situation and take more than they give back.
these dating and sugar sites are a scam that preys upon the desperation of a man's inability to stop seeking new sexual encounters.
these sites are about 80% fake profiles, with site employees engaging in messaging to lure in men and keep them subscribed.
the real women on sugar sites are either sex workers or princesses looking for a payout while providing the least amount of sugar back to the man as possible.
there are no easy answers here, unless a man has unlimited financial resources.
most men don't have an endless supply of disposable cash to hand over to someone who intends to manipulate the situation and take more than they give back.
Exactly my thoughts and experience. It is work to pick through the scams, the posers, divas, etc. But you can indeed find some gems.
One note of caution on SA - do NOT discuss PPM or money on the site’s messaging tool. You will get banned and they make it stick, even if you set up a new account. Communicate, get comfortable and get the Convo off SA.
I don’t offer PPM for the meet and greet stage. We are both making an “investment”. If they won’t agree, I move on.
The majority of profiles are genuine. You just have to learn how to filter some out. Some are obvious with the random favorites from South America but then in town you'll have to sift through online/platonic girls, rinsers, etc. In the end the subscription isn't that much if you're going to enter the sugar world but it hasn't stopped a lot peeking in and trying. But most typically do fail cause they think they can capitalize on the platform within a month. Sugaring takes time and patience so its not for everyone. But there are services to expedite the process to make it easier for meet up with genuine SBs.
I don't partake much in these online apps/websites so pardon the ignorance but what's the difference between this and Tinder? Is it easier to get laid on one platform than another?
Is Tinder more about one-night stands/casual hookups/no-strings-attached or whatever the correct term to describe this is these days and sugaring (SA/SB) is more about friends-with-benefits type of arrangements?
If it's easier to get laid on Tinder and doesn't cost as much (or at all) then why is it not an avenue to consider?
Is Tinder more about one-night stands/casual hookups/no-strings-attached or whatever the correct term to describe this is these days and sugaring (SA/SB) is more about friends-with-benefits type of arrangements?
If it's easier to get laid on Tinder and doesn't cost as much (or at all) then why is it not an avenue to consider?
Tinder is a dating app that has a reputation for hook ups.
If men could get pussy they wanted on regular, weekly basis off Tinder they probably would not be on this forum. There are far more men on dating apps than women, and the women typically chase the top 10% of guys on dating apps. I’ve met women off Tinder/Bubble here and there, but you’re better off meeting women in the real world.
Seeking is unofficially a “sugar” website, that facilitates arrangements between sugar babies and sugar daddies. This typically is an older, established man in an untraditional relationship with a young woman.
These “relationships” are typically very shallow and have no depth to them. The SDs are doing this primarily for sex, but there are sometimes other motivations like affection and attention. The SBs are doing this primarily for financial gain, but can have motivations beyond your average escort. For example, SBs might want to travel and explore the finer things in life, some even get off on the idea of being used like a whore by older men.
Looking at this discussion though, even seeking is kinda the same way. A lot of men, and a fewer women who are going to pair of with the top 25% of the men if not 10%. So you got to be in the top 25% either by looks or by the size of your wallet. Yes the wallet size wouldn't factor in so much on tinder, but wouldn't hurt either.
It seems a lot of work to finding the required fit though.
@Badhabits in your post you say "there are services ...". What do you mean by these services?
I haven't taken the dip yet and still on the fence. But thank you to all the contributors.
It seems a lot of work to finding the required fit though.
@Badhabits in your post you say "there are services ...". What do you mean by these services?
I haven't taken the dip yet and still on the fence. But thank you to all the contributors.
Lots of great information shared in this thread so far, so I'll try not to repeat anything, but instead give a few of my observations and tips from being on the SA site on and off (mostly off) for the past few years. Every once in a while, I'll sign up for a month, which is the minimum length of time .
*You have to pay to be able to send and read messages. Works out to about 120 CAD for the month I think.
* Lots of fake ads - you learn over time to recognize some of them -- the way there are written (generic, short, sometimes poor grammar), suspicious photos, and profiles that flip around from city to city. I've also come across some identically written profiles with different names and photos.
*Expect to spend a lot of time searching and sending messages back and forth. It can be time consuming, but there ARE legitimate women willing to meet -- try and move the conversation off the website and set up a meet and greet.
*As a terb member, you will certainly recognize a lot of familiar SP and MA faces on the site -- many MAs that I have seen at spas also have profiles on the site. a rumour I have heard is that some of the higher-end spas here in town use SA to recruit potential MAs. Not sure if true, but makes sense.
*As with any dating site, look for full body pics, many will use just face pics. There are body type categories but curvy means something different to everyone. There is also a category called "a few extra pounds". Many are more open to sending pics once you move off the website and start texting/chatting.
In conclusion, I'm still on the fence! I have met two great people of SA, and we have had fun. But the time and energy spent searching and chatting may not be everyone's cup of tea. Much easier to contact my favourite SP or MA for a session -- but sometimes its the process and the searching I suppose.
*You have to pay to be able to send and read messages. Works out to about 120 CAD for the month I think.
* Lots of fake ads - you learn over time to recognize some of them -- the way there are written (generic, short, sometimes poor grammar), suspicious photos, and profiles that flip around from city to city. I've also come across some identically written profiles with different names and photos.
*Expect to spend a lot of time searching and sending messages back and forth. It can be time consuming, but there ARE legitimate women willing to meet -- try and move the conversation off the website and set up a meet and greet.
*As a terb member, you will certainly recognize a lot of familiar SP and MA faces on the site -- many MAs that I have seen at spas also have profiles on the site. a rumour I have heard is that some of the higher-end spas here in town use SA to recruit potential MAs. Not sure if true, but makes sense.
*As with any dating site, look for full body pics, many will use just face pics. There are body type categories but curvy means something different to everyone. There is also a category called "a few extra pounds". Many are more open to sending pics once you move off the website and start texting/chatting.
In conclusion, I'm still on the fence! I have met two great people of SA, and we have had fun. But the time and energy spent searching and chatting may not be everyone's cup of tea. Much easier to contact my favourite SP or MA for a session -- but sometimes its the process and the searching I suppose.
