Stupid dildo tricks

[blopar]

After having professed my retirement from this hobby several weeks ago, I broke down today and saw my favorite escort (as opposed to my favorite MPA or dancer).

I have seen her about 10 times over the last 3 years or so. However, 2 times ago, she used a butt plug on me. As I am not gay (not that there is anything wrong with that...), this was truly virgin territory. Today, she pulled out something bigger and shoved (well, very delicately) inserted a larger vibrator up there.

After the session, I indicated that I was quite sensitive and that I was so woozy from the session that I still felt like I was vibrating inside (I didn't tell her that I also felt like I wanted to take a crap)...actually as they were cutting the grass outside the building, I thought that this was the cause of the vibration.

Well, imagine my surprise (no, shock and horror, actually) when I went back to the office and eventually took a crap...and guess what fell out...the god damned vibrator had actually been swallowed up my ass without my knowledge and was still vibrating away inside me! Yikes! If this doesn't cure me of this habit, nothing will.

 

[Bboy]

LMFAO!

Can you just imagine after you left her looking around thinking....now just where the hell did I put that thing?! OH CRAP!

 

[rr_bill]

You really have a lot to thankful for.

Had a female friend who was into things like large object insertions, fisting, toys etc. One day while entertaining herself she pushed a dildo too far into her behind and could not fish it out. She had to go to emerg. where it was removed by a surgeon.

Of course they called her husband to come and pick her up and he had no idea of what her hobbies were or even that she owned any such impliments. Essentially this ended her marriage as a lot of things then came out.

 

[Avery]

Re: You really have a lot to thankful for.

Essentially this ended her marriage as a lot of things then came out.

Came out, as in "came to light", or as in "were extracted"?

 

[syn]

calling on richard gere ...

saw an email once about the things that er doctors have had to anally retrieve ... had to share ...

Medical researchers tabulating written cases in which items were recovered from the rectums of patients reported 700 items from 200 patients. They included: a live, shaved declawed gerbil; a bottle of Mrs. Butterworth's syrup; an axe handle; a 9-inch zucchini; a 4-inch vibrator with two D-cell batteries; a plastic spatula; a 9 1/2-inch water bottle; a 3 1/2-inch Japanese float ball; an 8-inch carrot; an antenna rod; a 100-watt bulb; a screwdriver;four rubber balls; 72 jeweler's saws (all from the same patient, 29 at one time); a paperweight; an apple; an onion; a plastic toothbrush package; a frozen pig's tail (which got stuck after it thawed); a 1O-inch length of broomstick; an 8-inch umbrella handle; a banana encased in a condom; two Vaseline jars; a whiskey bottle with a cord attached; a teacup; an oil can; a 10-inch toolbox (weighing 22 ounces); a 6-inch stone weighing two pounds; a baby powder can; a test tube; a ballpoint pen; a peanut butter jar; a flashlight; a turnip; a pair of eyeglasses; a hard-boiled egg; several tumblers and glasses; a file; a polyethylene waste trap from the U-bend of a sink and a carborundum grindstone with handle.

syn

 

[Connie Lingus]

Whoa, Syn, I had to stand up by the time I got done reading that list! Ouch!!!!

 

[rr_bill]

Re: Re: You really have a lot to thankful for.

Came out, as in "came to light", or as in "were extracted"?

Ooops! Guess I can't type and think at the same time. I am not aware of any other extractions. I'd imagine after that experience she'd prefer to use only objects having a definite capability for removal.

 

[destillat]

some pics to go along with that list

http://poetry.rotten.com/potatoes-n-jelly/