Stage 4 Cancer - How much longer to live?
- Thread starter jbar
- Start date
My Hat's off to you, Sir
JBar, first thing: all my best thoughts to you and your family. Second thing: my hat's off to you for not sticking your head in the sand and facing this like a responsible adult. This will mean the world to you and your family in the future. Just for reaching out and trying to inform yourself as much as you can on the topic (even with a bunch of rascals and skirt-chasers) means that you care deeply for your Dad. I went through the same thing with my Mother (May She rest in Peace) just a few years ago. Christmas will never be the same since that's when she passed. The Doctor's told me she had 4 - 6 months but she fought the good fight for another 25 months. What Doctors can do is give you 'educated speculation' because each individual is his or her own universe. Seeing that you mentioned Mother and Sisters but no brothers, it seems the Patriarch role becomes yours. Trust your instinct, listen to the good Doctor's advice and let your Dad know how important he is. You'll also have friends that will bail on you but they'll be others (that you won't expect) that will come to your aid. Mostly, spend time and have good conversations. As you say, when a Lion is turned into a kitten, he won't want to show weakness with just anyone. Let him know he can squeeze your hand and confide in you. He'll also feel comfort that he's leaving his family in the best hands. All the best. Remember, Cancer is very limited, it cannot take away Hope or Good Memories.
BTW, I also agree with CL that this topic deserves more respect than seeing hot chicks getting banged with our sigs. Gentlemen, please!! I do not fear death. I fear not doing enough with whatever time of life I have left.
JBar, first thing: all my best thoughts to you and your family. Second thing: my hat's off to you for not sticking your head in the sand and facing this like a responsible adult. This will mean the world to you and your family in the future. Just for reaching out and trying to inform yourself as much as you can on the topic (even with a bunch of rascals and skirt-chasers) means that you care deeply for your Dad. I went through the same thing with my Mother (May She rest in Peace) just a few years ago. Christmas will never be the same since that's when she passed. The Doctor's told me she had 4 - 6 months but she fought the good fight for another 25 months. What Doctors can do is give you 'educated speculation' because each individual is his or her own universe. Seeing that you mentioned Mother and Sisters but no brothers, it seems the Patriarch role becomes yours. Trust your instinct, listen to the good Doctor's advice and let your Dad know how important he is. You'll also have friends that will bail on you but they'll be others (that you won't expect) that will come to your aid. Mostly, spend time and have good conversations. As you say, when a Lion is turned into a kitten, he won't want to show weakness with just anyone. Let him know he can squeeze your hand and confide in you. He'll also feel comfort that he's leaving his family in the best hands. All the best. Remember, Cancer is very limited, it cannot take away Hope or Good Memories.
BTW, I also agree with CL that this topic deserves more respect than seeing hot chicks getting banged with our sigs. Gentlemen, please!! I do not fear death. I fear not doing enough with whatever time of life I have left.
I agree if you don't have a family but if you have one, going quickly is harshest on your loved ones. It is such a shock on their system, depression, anger and other ailments usually set in. It's amazing how much a "good by" means to people, especially someone you love.Esco! said:
It's you call
A friend of mine was in the same situation as you. Doctors were very pessimistic but he lasted 14 months longer than what he was told.
He enjoyed every minute and did all the things he enjoyed the most.
Girls, golf, travels and wine.
Good luck. fight.
A friend of mine was in the same situation as you. Doctors were very pessimistic but he lasted 14 months longer than what he was told.
He enjoyed every minute and did all the things he enjoyed the most.
Girls, golf, travels and wine.
Good luck. fight.
His father sounds way beyond that stage (can barely walk or eat).Guillaume said:
There's no last trip to Paris when you have Terminal Cancer. There's only hospitals, tests, waiting rooms, suffering.
If they initially diagnose you with a slow moving cancer, you may have some time, but once you have a hard time getting to the bathroom, it's just a matter of time.
Sadly...
If you live in the west end you might want to look up Ian Anderson House for an alternative to hospitalization. As well you can contact the Halton-Peel Hospice Palliative care center for advice.
If it's any consolation..
I was diagnosed with liver cancer in 2003 and in 2004, was labelled "stage 4".
Through chemo, aggressive radiation and a stubborn attitude, I conquered it.
I'm not saying this for any compliments or pity, merely to let you know that there is possibility, that hope is something that can propell you to research alternative/naturopathic treatments.
Granted, as a nurse in a palliative care unit, I see many people stronger and more capable succomb to the dreadful disease however it is common knowledge that the power of the mind can really influence the outcome.
Stay positive but be realistic and make sure that you have all your bases covered by expressing your emotions with him, dont leave any regrets behind.
Be sure to tell him you love him and are proud of him and appreciate all he's done for you.
Just my 0.02 cents.
I was diagnosed with liver cancer in 2003 and in 2004, was labelled "stage 4".
Through chemo, aggressive radiation and a stubborn attitude, I conquered it.
I'm not saying this for any compliments or pity, merely to let you know that there is possibility, that hope is something that can propell you to research alternative/naturopathic treatments.
Granted, as a nurse in a palliative care unit, I see many people stronger and more capable succomb to the dreadful disease however it is common knowledge that the power of the mind can really influence the outcome.
Stay positive but be realistic and make sure that you have all your bases covered by expressing your emotions with him, dont leave any regrets behind.
Be sure to tell him you love him and are proud of him and appreciate all he's done for you.
Just my 0.02 cents.
lusciouslin33 said:
Good for you Lin. Attutude means a hell of a lot. I was written off by these farking Ontario bastards as direct to palliative, don't waste money on him with my cancer. Turns out I was Dukes 3B?, not sure, but like you, with aggressive treattment in the US that I had to pay for I'm still here ( much to the chagrin of many, I'm sure).
With older folks the attitude can be swayed by lonliness. I know with my Dad, when it got near the end, he simply said, he'd done all he set out to do and welcomed the chance to see my previously deceased Mom again. I've seen that with many of my peers parents as well, especially those that were together for a long time. Once one is gone its like the survivor is missing part of themselves. I think that makes it easier for the second one to let go.
My condolences to jbar. He faces a tough future dealing with this. All I can say is that the happy memories will stay long after the current unpleasantness has passed.
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Thank-you again to everybody.
After getting a clearer picture from the doctor, it is probable that he only has a few week left (if not days). But, at least his pain will be minimal since he is responding very well to the morphine. I was told that he seams to be at peace, and is accepting it. Given the type of man he is (as I outlined in my first post), I am not really surprised. I'm still going to miss him like crazy.
Love those who love you.
Cheers
After getting a clearer picture from the doctor, it is probable that he only has a few week left (if not days). But, at least his pain will be minimal since he is responding very well to the morphine. I was told that he seams to be at peace, and is accepting it. Given the type of man he is (as I outlined in my first post), I am not really surprised. I'm still going to miss him like crazy.
Love those who love you.
Cheers
Jbar, you have my support, I lost my father three years ago and I still miss him.
Scouser, your dad was a tough old bloke. Cancers in and around the pancreas finished you off in less than a year.
I would like to tell everyone about my niece; she was diagnosed with bone cancer over a decade ago. At the time it hit the family hard, my sister would not leave her daughter's bedside while she underwent the brutality of chemotheraphy. Her business (which I had made a substantial investment in) was beginning to suffer and watching her daughter fade had caused her to look as old as my mother.
I started working on afternoon shifts and I spent my mornings tending to my sister and her daughter. Since her daughter couldn't eat, my sister wouldn't eat as well. So I would bring food that she liked to her and made her eat it in front of me. On certain days when the affect of the chemo was at it's worst I would tell her to leave and tend to my niece myself. The chemo had reduced her to 80lbs; so I started brewing shake and mixing it with green tea, it was a risk but it worked. It allowed her enough time to absorb some nutrients before the nausea set in.
Since the cancer had not spread to her leg muscles, they replaced the cancerous bones in her leg with steel substitues. This included an artificial knee as well. After a harrowing eight months of fighting this dreaded disease my niece went into remission.
I just had lunch with my niece...and I spent the entire time making silly faces at my grandniece.
...just wanted to lift some spirits a little.
Scouser, your dad was a tough old bloke. Cancers in and around the pancreas finished you off in less than a year.
I would like to tell everyone about my niece; she was diagnosed with bone cancer over a decade ago. At the time it hit the family hard, my sister would not leave her daughter's bedside while she underwent the brutality of chemotheraphy. Her business (which I had made a substantial investment in) was beginning to suffer and watching her daughter fade had caused her to look as old as my mother.
I started working on afternoon shifts and I spent my mornings tending to my sister and her daughter. Since her daughter couldn't eat, my sister wouldn't eat as well. So I would bring food that she liked to her and made her eat it in front of me. On certain days when the affect of the chemo was at it's worst I would tell her to leave and tend to my niece myself. The chemo had reduced her to 80lbs; so I started brewing shake and mixing it with green tea, it was a risk but it worked. It allowed her enough time to absorb some nutrients before the nausea set in.
Since the cancer had not spread to her leg muscles, they replaced the cancerous bones in her leg with steel substitues. This included an artificial knee as well. After a harrowing eight months of fighting this dreaded disease my niece went into remission.
I just had lunch with my niece...and I spent the entire time making silly faces at my grandniece.
...just wanted to lift some spirits a little.
Hi J- Bar!
I know what you are going through.
My mom has terminal lung and liver cancer.
You can apply for government funds to spend time with a terminal parent.
Although, because I am "self-employed", I cannot.
This is something you should definitely look into.
Make the most of every moment you have.
I know what you are going through.
My mom has terminal lung and liver cancer.
You can apply for government funds to spend time with a terminal parent.
Although, because I am "self-employed", I cannot.
This is something you should definitely look into.
Make the most of every moment you have.
