SPs and Mental Health

[Tinmachine]

This is an odd one but here goes.....been seeing this SP regularly for a while (no need to get into specifics) and I've recently discovered, quite by accident, that she appears to have some serious mental health issues ( found out by accident.... want to stress I wasn't snooping out her personal life but came from a few reliable sources i trust) . Sessions are great however what I've learned seems to be totally unlike her. Complete opposite. Her personal life seems unhinged. Was quite shocked. I know ppl will say that's a sign that an SP is doing a good job bringing a fantasy to life, and you really know nothing about the real person, however this honestly has changed my view of her, and even questions me seeing her again. Again want to stress this came to me by accident.

Am I wrong to think this way? Mental health needs to be taken seriously and we shouldn't stigmatize ppl. But I would be lying if I didn't think to myself "am I safe with this provider?"

Would love to get some thoughts from providers as well on this.

 

[yourpal]

For starter I would say it did not come directly from her, but from another person. Everyone have their own story.
If it is something that you think put you at risk, then you can think with your head. Unless that grinds your gears more then.....yippie.

I am sure it might not be something you want to bring it up directly to her, because you don't know how she will react, afterall, the relationship between you two is business, borederline strangers. If I were in your shoes I would find a new SP because I had some bad experience in the past with someone I met with mental issue (not SP).

 

[shakenbake]

For starter I would say it did not come directly from her, but from another person. Everyone have their own story.
If it is something that you think put you at risk, then you can think with your head. Unless that grinds your gears more then.....yippie.

I am sure it might not be something you want to bring it up directly to her, because you don't know how she will react, afterall, the relationship between you two is business, borederline strangers. If I were in your shoes I would find a new SP because I had some bad experience in the past with someone I met with mental issue (not SP).

Remember that they are just as human as everybody else. We all have our demons to battle. Don’t let hers draw you down, but respect her snd be empathetic toward her.

 

[yourpal]

Remember that they are just as human as everybody else. We all have our demons to battle. Don’t let hers draw you down, but respect her snd be empathetic toward her.

Not dehumanizing her. OP doesn't go specifics about the specific mental issue, but made reference about safety. They are not your close friend, or family, so if you have concern about your safety, then distance yourself.

 

[Tinmachine]

For starter I would say it did not come directly from her, but from another person. Everyone have their own story.
If it is something that you think put you at risk, then you can think with your head. Unless that grinds your gears more then.....yippie.

I am sure it might not be something you want to bring it up directly to her, because you don't know how she will react, afterall, the relationship between you two is business, borederline strangers. If I were in your shoes I would find a new SP because I had some bad experience in the past with someone I met with mental issue (not SP).

Suspect its not best to bring up the subject. A lot of ppl have mental health issues, some cases more severe than others. I just worry more about safety as yu said were "borderline strangers" but naked in a hotel room.

 

[yourpal]

Suspect its not best to bring up the subject. A lot of ppl have mental health issues, some cases more severe than others. I just worry more about safety as yu said were "borderline strangers" but naked in a hotel room.

Exactly, not going into much details, but to give you story, this lady who had mental issue (that she somewhat talk about but didn't really talk much about it), we were being intimate (not first time) and she started giving me blows to my head.
Hence....I'd stay away even if you have a silver of doubt.

 

[shakenbake]

Not dehumanizing her. OP doesn't go specifics about the specific mental issue, but made reference about safety. They are not your close friend, or family, so if you have concern about your safety, then distance yourself.

As I said, don’t let her drag you down in her issues. This goes for family and close friends, as well.

 

[onomatopoeia]

Dude, that was 30 years ago. Lorena hasn't cut off any other guy's dick while he was sleeping since, as far as I know.

 

[rgkv]

Its entirely up to you... if you feel uncomfortable your sessions might not be the same.. but if your ok with it,, have a good time. To be honest, I think half the woman are crazy anyways

 

[yourpal]

The struggle we have to go through

 

[RZG]

Its entirely up to you... if you feel uncomfortable your sessions might not be the same.. but if your ok with it,, have a good time. To be honest, I think half the woman are crazy anyways

All women are fucking nuts,...act accordingly. It`s always about the money.

 

[Daddy2021]

All women are fucking nuts,...act accordingly. It`s always about the money.

For an escort what else would the draw be? You mean our winning personalities? Lol

 

[Daddy2021]

This is an odd one but here goes.....been seeing this SP regularly for a while (no need to get into specifics) and I've recently discovered, quite by accident, that she appears to have some serious mental health issues ( found out by accident.... want to stress I wasn't snooping out her personal life but came from a few reliable sources i trust) . Sessions are great however what I've learned seems to be totally unlike her. Complete opposite. Her personal life seems unhinged. Was quite shocked. I know ppl will say that's a sign that an SP is doing a good job bringing a fantasy to life, and you really know nothing about the real person, however this honestly has changed my view of her, and even questions me seeing her again. Again want to stress this came to me by accident.

Am I wrong to think this way? Mental health needs to be taken seriously and we shouldn't stigmatize ppl. But I would be lying if I didn't think to myself "am I safe with this provider?"

Would love to get some thoughts from providers as well on this.

first of all you got this information second hand. Second you wouldn’t have even known if someone didn’t open their mouth to you. And lastly, I think you are just fine. If she was in a situation chances are it’s because she was emotionally Invested in the situation so I doubt you matter that much to her as a client to have her go off on you.

 

[shack]

This is an odd one but here goes.....been seeing this SP regularly for a while (no need to get into specifics) and I've recently discovered, quite by accident, that she appears to have some serious mental health issues ( found out by accident.... want to stress I wasn't snooping out her personal life but came from a few reliable sources i trust) . Sessions are great however what I've learned seems to be totally unlike her. Complete opposite. Her personal life seems unhinged. Was quite shocked. I know ppl will say that's a sign that an SP is doing a good job bringing a fantasy to life, and you really know nothing about the real person, however this honestly has changed my view of her, and even questions me seeing her again. Again want to stress this came to me by accident.

Am I wrong to think this way? Mental health needs to be taken seriously and we shouldn't stigmatize ppl. But I would be lying if I didn't think to myself "am I safe with this provider?"

Would love to get some thoughts from providers as well on this.

A sad, but very personal, experience for me.

I met the most amazing SB over 2 years ago. 9.5/10 body and appearance. Smart as all get-go and talented. Very bright future. Was on a scholarship sponsored by a very prominent Torontonian and maybe 1 semester away from graduation. But she had/has mental health issues (takes some strong meds, receives therapy) as well as some significant health issues which cost her big dollars.

Since then she has made, IMO, some very poor life choices. She turned to massage for "just a few months" to help out with the bills. I told her what I felt would happen and she laughed at me. Well, everything I predicted has come true. She left school, her personality has changed, is into substance abuse and her attitude now is that of a hard core, career sex worker. Unreliable, is a serial liar, steals. She's a textbook hoe. She probably sees about 40 clients a week and has got to be pulling in $250-300K per year, but claims she is poor. She had a BF who left her after a few months of work. Now she refers to the new guy in her life as her "partner". I confronted her and asked about the different terminology. I told her I believe she has a pimp and she vehemently denies it.

She is throwing away her future.

BUT, I don't judge her because I've never been in her shoes. But there's nothing I can do because of the mental health issue. It's not a stereotype. It's real.

 

[onomatopoeia]

BUT, I don't judge her because I've never been in her shoes.

 

[jalimon]

I had doubt about a girl once so i asked her if she had double personality disorder.

She said sometimes yes sometimes no.

 

[massman]

Very hard to offer any specific input since the info you give is so vague (note, I am NOT asking you to divulge more details). Mental health issues are more common in certain professions eg first responders due to trauma, healthcare due to stress of dealing with others who are sick/ dying, and in sex work, largely due to the fact that SWs are stigmatized/ marginalized. And support for them is likely hard to access.

Can’t really tell you exactly what to do, but if you choose to continue to see her, I would not discuss this, unless she brings it up. Base your opinion of her on how she treats you. Treat her with respect and kindness.

If, based on the (second hand) info you have learned, truly feel you might be at risk, due to potentially volatile behaviour/ emotions, just don’t see her anymore.

As someone else said, we all have our demons. Sometimes those demons lead us to act in ways we wish we hadn’t or make choices in life that we regret.

 

[TML1967]

Realistically, this is the exchange of human interaction. We’re going to come across all types of different personalities. This particular industry can be a haven for those types of personality disorders from the top down (agency owners, bookers, SPs, and the clients themselves). Money can mask many things.

It's best to keep things light and positive and just enjoy the experience. If that becomes impossible or compromised, I highly recommend moving on.

 

[Tinmachine]

Try to keep things positive and hopefully she will get some needed pleasure out of your time together. I think that is the best you can hope for.

Over time her problems will likely reveal themselves more directly. Happened to me when my regular began to tell me about her despair. After a while I stopped seeing her because it was hard to take emotionally. She took her life afterward and to this day i am haunted by the question as to what I could have done. I guess my point is that you need to prepare for the worst if you get entangled with someone that has terrible demons. Otherwise cut ties as fast as you can.

That's horrible to hear. I think disproportionately a lot of SPs come into this profession with demons. This isn't a judgement on the profession per se just a fact of people who fall into it have issues. Sorry to hear this

 

[massman]

Try to keep things positive and hopefully she will get some needed pleasure out of your time together. I think that is the best you can hope for.

Over time her problems will likely reveal themselves more directly. Happened to me when my regular began to tell me about her despair. After a while I stopped seeing her because it was hard to take emotionally. She took her life afterward and to this day i am haunted by the question as to what I could have done. I guess my point is that you need to prepare for the worst if you get entangled with someone that has terrible demons. Otherwise cut ties as fast as you can.

Very sorry to hear this. Very hard to lose someone in your life this way, no matter what the nature of the relationship.