SO's of high mileage MPA's & SP's...How do you really feel?

[Morgan Ellis]

Re: Re: Re: Isn't it human nature to feel hurt...

I believe those people would grow up having the same jealousies we encounter without societal influences.

Well, this can and has been put to the test, with results which much more closely match my hypothesis than yours.

Inuit people, Samoan Islanders, and various other tribal societies have little or no concepts of sexual jealousies, or, rather, they did not pre-Western societal influences came into play.

I believe this is tied to our concept of relationships equalling ownership, rather than our innate human natures.

Look, I'm not naive about this. Even within Polyamoury, jealousy and how to deal with it is a hotly debated topic, which many find difficult to overcome and deal with. It's definately not the easiest emotion to wean ourselves from.

I just firmly believe that monogamy is not the natural human state, but that this does not equate an inability to form loving relationships.

Mind you, I'm just slutty like that.

-- Morgan

 

[Morgan Ellis]

Dudebox - Will you give MBF a discount if he lets you watch?

Do I get a discount if I want to watch you and Cardinal Fang during your weekly mazola oil orgy, or do I have to pay full price again this time?

I think I should be getting frequent flier miles out of this.


-- Morgan

 

[The Shake]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Isn't it human nature to feel hurt...

Nah, that's not what I would fear. If I was dating a hot-looking SP I would realize that I was probably way better looking than the average hobbyiest and that I had nothing to fear.

You forget to mention your considerable charm as well.

 

[seven]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Isn't it human nature to feel hurt...

You forget to mention your considerable charm as well.

That goes without saying.

 

[The Shake]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Isn't it human nature to feel hurt...

What I'd fear would be the loss of emotional intimacy on her part and that she would become more jaded and distant and the sex act more impersonal and mechanical.

This isn't an insignificant fear. Here's a pertinent quote from a former escort (thanks to Flower for the link, BTW):

Being a call girl really altered my perception of people in general. A lot of these men are really unhappy, and I was so used to it that I thought it was normal. Call girls are exposed to cheaters so much they think everyone is in an unhappy relationship.

 

[Morgan Ellis]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Isn't it human nature to feel hurt...

That goes without saying.

Well, there is something awfully sexy about a man with an overly developed sense of irony...


-- Morgan

 

[The Shake]

Do I get a discount if I want to watch you and Cardinal Fang during your weekly mazola oil orgy, or do I have to pay full price again this time?

Only if you supply the Mazola.

Or procure Dudebox's girlfriend for Fang & I.

I'm good with either.

 

[seven]

I knew it!!!

Well, there is something awfully sexy about a man with an overly developed sense of irony...


-- Morgan

Soooooo, what you're really saying is that you find my 'overly developed sense of irony' considerably charming, right?

 

[Morgan Ellis]

Re: I knew it!!!

Soooooo, what you're really saying is that you find my 'overly developed sense of irony' considerably charming, right?

Amongst other things.

-- Morgan

 

[Spode]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Isn't it human nature to feel hurt...

Well, this can and has been put to the test, with results which much more closely match my hypothesis than yours.

Inuit people, Samoan Islanders, and various other tribal societies have little or no concepts of sexual jealousies, or, rather, they did not pre-Western societal influences came into play.

I believe this is tied to our concept of relationships equalling ownership, rather than our innate human natures.

Look, I'm not naive about this. Even within Polyamoury, jealousy and how to deal with it is a hotly debated topic, which many find difficult to overcome and deal with. It's definately not the easiest emotion to wean ourselves from.

I just firmly believe that monogamy is not the natural human state, but that this does not equate an inability to form loving relationships.

Mind you, I'm just slutty like that.

-- Morgan [/QUOTE

I guess all of us monogomous guy-types are freaks then. Just remeber that is our "weird" monogomy based western society types that you earn a living off (monogomous in terms of only one SO). You are making it seem that 90% of the population who prefer to have only one significant other vs many. I think that you may be incapable of falling in love. Not having a "loving relationship" but rather being "in love".

This may sound sappy but when your "in love" you want to share your emotional side with only one person. And BTW your right, having a loving relationship and sex are two exclusive items, but being in love and sex are tied to eacher other.

Maybe your lack of a true love has made you turn to polyamoury.

 

[The Shake]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Isn't it human nature to feel hurt...

Why? Because we've been conditioned to believe that monogamy is the natural/normal state of being for us. Variations from that model are so harshly discouraged, even in today's relatively liberal society, that its really impossible to determine how much is nature as opposed to nurture.

I think that you may be incapable of falling in love. Not having a "loving relationship" but rather being "in love".

This may sound sappy but when your "in love" you want to share your emotional side with only one person. And BTW your right, having a loving relationship and sex are two exclusive items, but being in love and sex are tied to eacher other.

Maybe your lack of a true love has made you turn to polyamoury.

Whoa - thanks for proving my point!

 

[mexicanbullfrog]

Any woman and I mean ANY woman truly in love with a man would not just start working.

Secondly after finding out a bit about the business, if she truly loved you, she wouldn't have started working.

Really I don't think either one of you truly love each other ...

Kiarra

Exactly!! Now hook me up with her contact info, pix, rates, and availability so I can rock out with my cock out!!

 

[G-Spot Seeker]

I think I know how Dudebox feels.

You love her because you have this connection that is pure chemistry. You feel comfortable with each other. Just looking into each others' eyes, you know you were made for each other. You would die for each other...or so you thought until she decided to become an SP. You still have those very strong feelings for her but she doesn't quite have the same intensity she has for you as you do for her. Your love is unequal...you love her more than she loves you because she put money & (to some degree) liberal sex with strangers ahead of you. You feel less important and less loved...you are hurt but you don't/can't lose her because that pain will be greater than what you feel right now. So you stay in the relationship hoping that her new profession will soon end or she gets fed up with it.

Is she getting fed up with it or is she enjoying it and the money too much? You probably know the answer to this just by the way she acts around you and others. Is she the same person or has she changed?

 

[baci2004]

Dude, listen to g-spot. Thats how it is.

mexbullfrog, dude is going to make a voodoo doll, and ass fuck it with a hot poker

 

[dudebox]

Pretty much what G-Spot says is how it is. As for the work, she was not particulary enjoying it and truthfully she was not rolling in the money since she was not working too much. I have offered a solution that would allow her to quit yet still acheive her stated goal of moving out of her parent's home. She took it and the matter is closed. She has quit the business and will moving in with me rent-free at the end of the month, looking for a job and then applying for OSAP since she still has one more year of college to finish starting in the fall. That's that. End of story.

Thanks for the insights, but honestly if I had posted this at the beginning of this ordeal and listened to the advice of some of you I would be a lot worse off than I am now.

 

[thecoolguyms72]

Keep us updated, dudebox. This should be interesting. Somehow I don't think the chapter is closed as of yet.

 

[The Shake]

Keep us updated, dudebox. This should be interesting. Somehow I don't think the chapter is closed as of yet.

Yeah, its rather difficult to "move on" when you think that your girlfriend is a dumb slut.

 

[Morgan Ellis]

Yeah, its rather difficult to "move on" when you think that your girlfriend is a dumb slut.

I love it when he talks all romantic like that....


swoon...


-- Morgan

 

[dudebox]

Keep us updated, dudebox. This should be interesting. Somehow I don't think the chapter is closed as of yet.

Oh it's closed allright. She never really wanted to get into the biz in the first place -- phrases like "well it's the quickest way to get the needed funds" and "act of desperation" came out of her mouth on several occasions, and I think she thought it was going to be a much smoother and more lucrative ride than she bargained for.

At first she seemed to somewhat enjoy the work and in fact flaunted it a little too much for my tastes. Over the past couple of weeks though I could tell that the novelty had worn off and that it was not the easy road to riches that she had anticipated. Also, she was always very deeply concerned about losing our relationship as well as being worn down by the stress that it was causing the both of us.

Some say that once a woman has been "turned out" as a prostitute there is no turning back, that she will always have that option and will go back to it whenver times get tough. I liken it to bankruptcy that way... Once you realize just how easy it is to simply walk away from an insurmountable debt problem scot-free the temptation to do it again can be strong. I don't believe that this applies here since she wasn't in the biz long enough for it to get into her blood.

And BTW, someone called me a "hobbyist" here in this thread. Note that I said in the past when I mentioned seeing SPs. I'm 31 years old and have been with my GF for two years. I have a life that existed prior to this relationship so I just wanted to clear up any perceived hypocrisy on my part.

 

[mexicanbullfrog]

good luck dude.