Probably a better choice of words would be that it's disappointing that this happens.
Should Terbites be looking for a "GFE" from SPs?
- Thread starter Bud Plug
- Start date
Oh really, glad to see your timing and perspective are spot on. Btw I'll bet your not a TOFTT type of guy.
GFE is just what it is: Girl Friend Experience. Someone who gives you some affection for a set period of time, just like a girlfriend would, in addition to the raw sex. There are lot of men without a girlfriend who miss the affection related to that, or married where there is zero affection from the other spouse; giving affection may only be showing friendliness or lots of touching. But it's not every girlfriend who would give BBBJ or receive DATY. Maybe not a PSE either, but everybody's got their limits.
Exactly, any GFE session I've had has included DFK the odd time LFK, always BBBJ and Daty without hesitation on the sp's part. PSE will include cim and sometimes Greek tour on an upsell.
No that's not the truth either. It all depends on how you show up and there's a lot to what I'm suggesting here. There
is nothing more attractive to these women than respect, courtesy and Hygiene. I for one always go out as if it was a
first date. What woman wouldn't appreciate that ?
BS or not, it's what it means and what most men expect when it's advertised. YMMV also comes into it of course. No doubt of course that some ladies use the term and probably have no idea what it means, or simply use it to get men there and then fall back on YMMV to get out of providing some or all of that.
I'm pretty inexperienced hobbyist (a term I hate), but that's exactly why I'munna chime in.
"First of all, the way that their real girlfriends/spouses act is probably why they're seeing an SP!" The only thing my girlfriend did that led me down this path was have a job that took her away from home 1-3 weeks every month. I supported her doing what she wanted to do, but I also wasn't thrilled about being a single parent to someone else's kids half of the month. And it always sucked being 6 hours into a shift and then realizing that she wasn't going to be there when I got home. Even though I rarely took advantage, it was nice just to know that I could have someone to look forward to seeing. I met one nightmare from BP and three wonderful, wonderul gals. Only hobbied twice since becoming single. It's always been about feeling wanted more than it's been about having things that I want.
"I think what's closer to the truth is that Terbites want SPs to act the way they wished their girlfriend acted." I'm a gentleman who likes to play rough, but it took a lot of years of slowly pushing the envelope with someone who I loved and trusted and who loved and trusted me. SP's are people, not toys, so it always feels like a first date. I'm a timid dude. It's not in my nature to say hello with a facefuck. I'd be all for it, I take orders well, but I'm hyper-aware of people having different likes and thresholds. My ex liked me to squeeze her nipples so hard that my fingers hurt. Very few people operate at that level. I. Get it. I lay down on caution's side of the bed and assume that everyone operates at 1. I'm sure I've come across as embarrassingly boring, but I'm not at all comfortable with the possibility of making anyone feel uncomfortable. So with every SP I've met I've just laid on my back with my hands above my head like a goddamn bandit because if a girl said to me kindly, patiently, sweetly, caringly, understandingly, "That's a little too much, sweetheart," I'd feel like I'd ruined her whole week even if she'd forgotten about it by the time she'd finished the sentence. I have no idea what a stranger likes. Dudes are easier, but there a few subtle, simple things that make me lose my mind and someone who's just met me has no idea what they are. I wish that an SP could act like a girlfriend, could act like we've known each other for years and that she knows everything there is to know about me, but that would require the I-know-kung-fu technology from the Matrix.
"Now, a PSE, I understand. You're not asking the SP to act like she likes you, and you don't need to be deluded into thinking she does, for your SP to provide a PSE. That's what the job is all about." This is something that I don't understand. I care that I'm with someone who likes me. Why? Because being stuck in a room with someone you don't like for an hour isn't a lot of fun and it sucks the fun out of things that are supposed to be fun. Even though it's a job ya shouldn't have to hate it. Life's hard enough. That nightmare from BP I met made a living. Pretty girl with a rockin' body, but nothing happened between us because that's not enough to get m'motor going. Some dudes seem mentally equipped to have sex under any circumstances and some dudes are just excited that they're in a room with a naked girl. That's not me. And I'm not saying this at anyone specific, this is just the best sense I can make of it (except maybe the guy from Marla's story): if you don't care what people think then you either don't recognize that other people have thoughts or you care so little about their thoughts that you don't really recognize them as people. Either of those being a reality for anyone is horrifying to me. And I can't imagine being with anyone who's obviously just waiting for the clock to run out.
Obviously, everyone's different. I'm speaking for me and none of this is meant to be judgmental or combative. I'm envious! Somewhere in the middle of too shy and too careless is probably where most dudes settle and, from what I've read on the forums, it sounds like an amazing place to be. This was just meant to be the perspective of a remarkably conservative and socially retarded newbie.
"are you deluding yourself as to what you're really looking for, or worse, if you really need your SP to act like your girlfriend is it a sign that you have some unresolved emotional issues to deal with? " I know what I'd like to get from this hobby, and I'm still trying to find out if I can get it. Maybe it's out there. Maybe it comes with experience. Maybe it's just knowing what it can be before knowing what I can ask of it. For guys with or without girlfriends, I don't think there's anything at all unhealthy about wanting to feel wanted, wanting to touch and be touched, hold someone, or wanting to meet and spend time with someone that everybody adores, not just because the sex is great, but because they're genuinely fun and interesting. I wouldn't say that I have any emotional issues, but I certainly have emotional itches. Last adventure I went on was eight months ago, and it was fantastic. Great conversation, great.. adult things, and great gal. I sang all the way home and smiled all night. I'll be in the area next month and I've got a date with one (maybe two) of your city's most respected and well reviewed ladies. And lemme tell ya, I am staring down the clock like an alpha, son.
"First of all, the way that their real girlfriends/spouses act is probably why they're seeing an SP!" The only thing my girlfriend did that led me down this path was have a job that took her away from home 1-3 weeks every month. I supported her doing what she wanted to do, but I also wasn't thrilled about being a single parent to someone else's kids half of the month. And it always sucked being 6 hours into a shift and then realizing that she wasn't going to be there when I got home. Even though I rarely took advantage, it was nice just to know that I could have someone to look forward to seeing. I met one nightmare from BP and three wonderful, wonderul gals. Only hobbied twice since becoming single. It's always been about feeling wanted more than it's been about having things that I want.
"I think what's closer to the truth is that Terbites want SPs to act the way they wished their girlfriend acted." I'm a gentleman who likes to play rough, but it took a lot of years of slowly pushing the envelope with someone who I loved and trusted and who loved and trusted me. SP's are people, not toys, so it always feels like a first date. I'm a timid dude. It's not in my nature to say hello with a facefuck. I'd be all for it, I take orders well, but I'm hyper-aware of people having different likes and thresholds. My ex liked me to squeeze her nipples so hard that my fingers hurt. Very few people operate at that level. I. Get it. I lay down on caution's side of the bed and assume that everyone operates at 1. I'm sure I've come across as embarrassingly boring, but I'm not at all comfortable with the possibility of making anyone feel uncomfortable. So with every SP I've met I've just laid on my back with my hands above my head like a goddamn bandit because if a girl said to me kindly, patiently, sweetly, caringly, understandingly, "That's a little too much, sweetheart," I'd feel like I'd ruined her whole week even if she'd forgotten about it by the time she'd finished the sentence. I have no idea what a stranger likes. Dudes are easier, but there a few subtle, simple things that make me lose my mind and someone who's just met me has no idea what they are. I wish that an SP could act like a girlfriend, could act like we've known each other for years and that she knows everything there is to know about me, but that would require the I-know-kung-fu technology from the Matrix.
"Now, a PSE, I understand. You're not asking the SP to act like she likes you, and you don't need to be deluded into thinking she does, for your SP to provide a PSE. That's what the job is all about." This is something that I don't understand. I care that I'm with someone who likes me. Why? Because being stuck in a room with someone you don't like for an hour isn't a lot of fun and it sucks the fun out of things that are supposed to be fun. Even though it's a job ya shouldn't have to hate it. Life's hard enough. That nightmare from BP I met made a living. Pretty girl with a rockin' body, but nothing happened between us because that's not enough to get m'motor going. Some dudes seem mentally equipped to have sex under any circumstances and some dudes are just excited that they're in a room with a naked girl. That's not me. And I'm not saying this at anyone specific, this is just the best sense I can make of it (except maybe the guy from Marla's story): if you don't care what people think then you either don't recognize that other people have thoughts or you care so little about their thoughts that you don't really recognize them as people. Either of those being a reality for anyone is horrifying to me. And I can't imagine being with anyone who's obviously just waiting for the clock to run out.
Obviously, everyone's different. I'm speaking for me and none of this is meant to be judgmental or combative. I'm envious! Somewhere in the middle of too shy and too careless is probably where most dudes settle and, from what I've read on the forums, it sounds like an amazing place to be. This was just meant to be the perspective of a remarkably conservative and socially retarded newbie.
"are you deluding yourself as to what you're really looking for, or worse, if you really need your SP to act like your girlfriend is it a sign that you have some unresolved emotional issues to deal with? " I know what I'd like to get from this hobby, and I'm still trying to find out if I can get it. Maybe it's out there. Maybe it comes with experience. Maybe it's just knowing what it can be before knowing what I can ask of it. For guys with or without girlfriends, I don't think there's anything at all unhealthy about wanting to feel wanted, wanting to touch and be touched, hold someone, or wanting to meet and spend time with someone that everybody adores, not just because the sex is great, but because they're genuinely fun and interesting. I wouldn't say that I have any emotional issues, but I certainly have emotional itches. Last adventure I went on was eight months ago, and it was fantastic. Great conversation, great.. adult things, and great gal. I sang all the way home and smiled all night. I'll be in the area next month and I've got a date with one (maybe two) of your city's most respected and well reviewed ladies. And lemme tell ya, I am staring down the clock like an alpha, son.
Lots of girls don't do DFK, most will do BJ, whether its "C" or "BB" is a matter of preference, and I only ever heard of one girl that didn't do DATY. (Strange but true, and don't know the reason why...)
Its just a matter of preferences etc. Why does everything have to have a "label"? It is what it is, do your research and line up your preferences accordingly.
Sorry. We are talking about advertised menus and what the client can expect in terms of such. As such, it is DFK, BBBJ, DATY.
There are as many different kinds of girlfriends as there are women in the world. Remember, GFE is only an acromyn used in the hobbying world to describe services, not what a real girlfriend is like. That is useless to hobbyists and when the term gets different interpretations, that is when a hobbyist is more likely to be disappointed by not receiving services he thought he'd get.
You need to suspend your interpretation of what a real world girlfriend is and accept the term as it relates to the hobby.
That is YMMV, which is a different issue. The concept, which most but evidently not all hobbyists understand, is that the SP will provide GFE services provided the client isn't dirty or an idiot. Sorry, I had to explain that to you.
Stop thinking of real world girlfriends. We are talking about SP's and the fantasy they provide. GFE just happened to be the acronym that was attached to the menu of DFK, BBBJ, DATY.
Agreed. YMMV aside, GFE is just an acronym that arose late-90s to denote exactly those 'services' above that you would expect your girlfriend to provide; nothing more.
Hmm... So (while I acknowledge YMMV with either) if a GFE can include CIMWS, what is a added in a PSE? Greek? (Not making a point, I'm really not sure.)
"Sorry. We are talking about advertised menus and what the client can expect in terms of such" and then a few posts and a few minutes later ya say, "We are talking about SP's and the fantasy they provide." It's confusing when the guy telling people what's being talked about doesn't seem to have a full handle on what's being talked about.
But that's none of my business because (and, I suppose, in response to "Stop thinking of real world girlfriends") I was responding to the original post, not participating in the conversation(s[?]) that followed.
But that's none of my business because (and, I suppose, in response to "Stop thinking of real world girlfriends") I was responding to the original post, not participating in the conversation(s[?]) that followed.
Who knows? I don't think we need to parse it that fine. I've never paid for a PSE session (anytime I see PSE advertised, it costs more), but I've had ladies do CIM. Does that mean anything? I doubt it.
