should a sp marry a hobbiest?

frankcastle

Well-known member
Feb 4, 2003
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Let's flip the question that is commonly asked.

I mean aren't men in this hobby often cheaters, with two phones, and little self control?

Just playing devil s advocate. I realize those are broad generalizations.

Seems we are so quick to judge sps but what about us?
 

TOraps23

Member
Feb 11, 2009
417
0
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Let's flip the question that is commonly asked.

I mean aren't men in this hobby often cheaters, with two phones, and little self control?

Just playing devil s advocate. I realize those are broad generalizations.

Seems we are so quick to judge sps but what about us?
If she moved on from the biz and he has to why not. If she's still working and he's still seeing ladies there will always be trust issues and it won't work out.
 

JessyCeleste

Twitter: @JessyCeleste1
My opinion? Its none of my business what people do or who they marry. I don't want to hear the peanut gallery on my life's decisions when they don't know the details of the situation or how each of us feels so I show the same respect. I def cant offer a blanket statement on right or wrong here. For the record, I know of two cases where SP/Hobbyist got married and 1 of the couples, I met them in their 4th year and she told me the *truth* on how they met as she thought I wouldn't judge her past...lol look at me now :) So it does happen and can lead to happiness. No, he wasn't rich... they just really hit it off. Im not gonna touch this one as I feel I've no right to. Its their right as adults to do what they want. *shrug*
 

|2 /-\ | /|/

Well-known member
Mar 5, 2015
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My opinion? Its none of my business what people do or who they marry. I don't want to hear the peanut gallery on my life's decisions when they don't know the details of the situation or how each of us feels so I show the same respect. I def cant offer a blanket statement on right or wrong here. For the record, I know of two cases where SP/Hobbyist got married and 1 of the couples, I met them in their 4th year and she told me the *truth* on how they met as she thought I wouldn't judge her past...lol look at me now :) So it does happen and can lead to happiness. No, he wasn't rich... they just really hit it off. Im not gonna touch this one as I feel I've no right to. Its their right as adults to do what they want. *shrug*
Ugh...:confused: maybe because they actually found love! Cliche as it sounds, and despite the fact that so many in this industry are are afraid of it, find it stigmatic, frown upon it etc...it does actually happen on the rare occasion LOL. For the ones that say...ohhh bullshit she only loves your money, or it is not real because it started as fake have never experienced it, and with that type of mindset will probably never experience it in my most honest and humble opinion.

Although it quite nice and refreshing to her from the ladies on this vs. just us stuck up know it all clients :p

Hope we hear more responses on this from the ladies.

 

Mr. G

Member
May 27, 2003
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Blue.....I see you have given this a lot of thought good for you. Yours scenarios are all possible and something both sides have to think about for sure. In the end I agree with JessyCeleste. It's none of our business. You can run through all the scenarios you want and sometimes marriage just fails for whatever reason. I have seen relationships and marriage last years and I personally thought "there is no way that is going to work!!" but it does. The the flip side of that story has also happened. If the marriage brings a period of happiness to both individuals then enjoy it as long as it may last. Going into the marriage, with this Motto for both people, then good for you. Regardless make sure you both have an airtight Prenups. lol

G.
 

JessyCeleste

Twitter: @JessyCeleste1
Ugh...:confused: maybe because they actually found love! Cliche as it sounds, and despite the fact that so many in this industry are are afraid of it, find it stigmatic, frown upon it etc...it does actually happen on the rare occasion LOL. For the ones that say...ohhh bullshit she only loves your money, or it is not real because it started as fake have never experienced it, and with that type of mindset will probably never experience it in my most honest and humble opinion.

Although it quite nice and refreshing to her from the ladies on this vs. just us stuck up know it all clients :p

Hope we hear more responses on this from the ladies.


Errrr... ok now IM the one confused!!! The story I told were of people who (if you read again) 'just hit it off' as in.... ' FELL IN LOVE' I was saying it IS possible and suggesting the idea that its all about money is stupid and ridiculous! The couples I know are NOT divorced. They are happy and deeply in love. My point was, who are we to decide how they feel for each other... if they are in love or not when we don't know the situation. Its not our call. They are adults and know what they want! Yeesh... I feel so attacked for agreeing... :-( Or maybe you were just expecting an SP to say what you assumed I did (despite my words)... ??? Sterotype and judge much? LOL Its ok. just kidding. Simple misunderstanding.
 

JessyCeleste

Twitter: @JessyCeleste1
Oh and Rihanna's fell in love probably isn't the best way to drive the point home since that relationship was toxic and abusive. Way better love songs to describe the love of these two couples who started professionally til she said, 'Just come over, fuck the wallet' and off they went to the land of bliss... and then the land of bills and baby puke... but bliss none the less.
 
S

**Sophie**

My opinion? Its none of my business what people do or who they marry. I don't want to hear the peanut gallery on my life's decisions when they don't know the details of the situation or how each of us feels so I show the same respect. I def cant offer a blanket statement on right or wrong here. For the record, I know of two cases where SP/Hobbyist got married and 1 of the couples, I met them in their 4th year and she told me the *truth* on how they met as she thought I wouldn't judge her past...lol look at me now :) So it does happen and can lead to happiness. No, he wasn't rich... they just really hit it off. Im not gonna touch this one as I feel I've no right to. Its their right as adults to do what they want. *shrug*
Those of us who have found love in the strangest of places appreciate your neutrality. I found love, left the business and Im living proof it can happen but I know its rare.
 

JessyCeleste

Twitter: @JessyCeleste1
Those of us who have found love in the strangest of places appreciate your neutrality. I found love, left the business and Im living proof it can happen but I know its rare.

Cool I can add a third couple to the love-list :) No appreciation needed. Im glad for both of you :) Nothing more annoying than saying you're in love and having people say, 'No you're not. Its impossible. Look at how you met.. everyone knows SPs are all about money " Oh and wall street brokers aren't? lol And esp if they add, 'Trust me, hobbyists don't view an SP that way..' err... what? As human? As a woman? Yes they do and people fall in love no matter how they met. If its a match, its a match and Im so glad you found yours!!! All the best to you both! xoxoxo


PS she left the biz too. The other couple are an open relationship and are now both part-time SPs :) he wasn't before but after she told him what its like he was like 'hhhmmmmm' lol and no they don't advertise here and no names will be given so please nobody ask. Gotta respect their privacy. Just an example of SP/Hobbyist true love and how no one should question motives or have a say but the two individuals signing the papers.
 

|2 /-\ | /|/

Well-known member
Mar 5, 2015
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Errrr... ok now IM the one confused!!! The story I told were of people who (if you read again) 'just hit it off' as in.... ' FELL IN LOVE' I was saying it IS possible and suggesting the idea that its all about money is stupid and ridiculous! The couples I know are NOT divorced. They are happy and deeply in love. My point was, who are we to decide how they feel for each other... if they are in love or not when we don't know the situation. Its not our call. They are adults and know what they want! Yeesh... I feel so attacked for agreeing... :-( Or maybe you were just expecting an SP to say what you assumed I did (despite my words)... ??? Sterotype and judge much? LOL Its ok. just kidding. Simple misunderstanding.
No I liked your reply and wanted to build on it, and mention the word many fear in this industry. I like knowing people fall in love in this industry like Sophies example as it makes me smile...

P.S...I read romance novels for fun and one of my fave movies is walk to remember plus notebook... I just think its important to acknowledge that real love also does happen to many others firms of relationships.

Let me say it again LOVE LOVE LOVE...heheheee
 

JessyCeleste

Twitter: @JessyCeleste1
No I liked your reply and wanted to build on it, and mention the word many fear in this industry. I like knowing people fall in love in this industry like Sophies example as it makes me smile...

P.S...I read romance novels for fun and one of my fave movies is walk to remember plus notebook... I just think its important to acknowledge that real love also does happen to many others firms of relationships.

Let me say it again LOVE LOVE LOVE...heheheee


Ahhhhh!!! Sorry for my misinterpretation.

And yes indeed!!! Lovelovelovelove love sweet loving love!!! One of my most common sayings is; I love love!

Although Im not really one for the books or movies as I find love is touched upon in almost everything and I find they have too many stereotypes and often don't go into depth of what love is but to each their own. I get plenty from other genres that focus on love too but have more substance and realism. Also a lot of traditional romance makes me cringe like a teenaged boy. A prefer authentic romance over premeditated/contrived though I know many find greater meaning inthat... to each their own.

Sending you love
xo
 

|2 /-\ | /|/

Well-known member
Mar 5, 2015
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Ahhhhh!!! Sorry for my misinterpretation.

And yes indeed!!! Lovelovelovelove love sweet loving love!!! One of my most common sayings is; I love love!

Although Im not really one for the books or movies as I find love is touched upon in almost everything and I find they have too many stereotypes and often don't go into depth of what love is but to each their own. I get plenty from other genres that focus on love too but have more substance and realism. Also a lot of traditional romance makes me cringe like a teenaged boy. A prefer authentic romance over premeditated/contrived though I know many find greater meaning inthat... to each their own.

Sending you love
xo
You can find depth anywhere, however I usually have the greatest satisfaction finding depth in the darkest places.

P.S. don't let the haters poison your outlook of things, most of the time they are just projecting their deficiency and failures.

From my experience I have met some of the most memorable people in this industry that had a impact on my life for the better, and ironically enough made my marriage stronger and my appreciation for my wife greater to the point that I stopped to resent and started to appreciate what we have.

Sometimes you find the most beautiful things in the places we least choose to look the least or least expect to find them.

Sending the love right back at you. xo

 

John Henry

Active member
Apr 10, 2011
1,298
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Let me say it again LOVE LOVE LOVE...heheheee
Turns into "MY LAWYER SAYS " very quickly . I'm not projecting any failures or any deficiency or I'm I a hater. I'm a realist . I see the world as it really is . Not what it could be .

True love is very hard to find these days . Just ask the 50% of the people who have ended up in divorce court . Never mind the percentage of people who want to get divorced but they can't .

Not about to loose what I have because a woman tells me how much she loves me . I love my 2 dogs . To me that's true love . They love me no matter what I have said or done . Not going to get that from a SO . A SO may forgive but will never forget .
 

JessyCeleste

Twitter: @JessyCeleste1
You can find depth anywhere, however I usually have the greatest satisfaction finding depth in the darkest places.

P.S. don't let the haters poison your outlook of things, most of the time they are just projecting their deficiency and failures.

From my experience I have met some of the most memorable people in this industry that had a impact on my life for the better, and ironically enough made my marriage stronger and my appreciation for my wife greater to the point that I stopped to resent and started to appreciate what we have.

Sometimes you find the most beautiful things in the places we least choose to look the least or least expect to find them.

Sending the love right back at you. xo


This was beautiful! And the first line is precisely what I meant. ;-)
 

JessyCeleste

Twitter: @JessyCeleste1
Turns into "MY LAWYER SAYS " very quickly . I'm not projecting any failures or any deficiency or I'm I a hater. I'm a realist . I see the world as it really is . Not what it could be .

True love is very hard to find these days . Just ask the 50% of the people who have ended up in divorce court . Never mind the percentage of people who want to get divorced but they can't .

Not about to loose what I have because a woman tells me how much she loves me . I love my 2 dogs . To me that's true love . They love me no matter what I have said or done . Not going to get that from a SO . A SO may forgive but will never forget .
I get where you are coming from... but the REAL love is what I am (and I think the funny-named poster is) referring to. Not the Hollywood image that costs people a million dollars and a trillion tears. Yes... the love of a doggy... purest love. Love I have with my brother and my cats. Certain people in my life. Most couples I know are not in love, both admit it. There are a few I know who really are and its beautiful. Telling someone you love them and truly loving them is not the same. We all know that. My dog never once said I love you in his years, but I was left in no doubt. I think couples marry way too prematurely, falling in love with the concept of having found love rather than actually having found it. And that's when they end up in trouble... False love is one of the most hazardous things on earth..i quite agree.
 

|2 /-\ | /|/

Well-known member
Mar 5, 2015
6,521
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I get where you are coming from... but the REAL love is what I am (and I think the funny-named poster is) referring to. Not the Hollywood image that costs people a million dollars and a trillion tears. Yes... the love of a doggy... purest love. Love I have with my brother and my cats. Certain people in my life. Most couples I know are not in love, both admit it. There are a few I know who really are and its beautiful. Telling someone you love them and truly loving them is not the same. We all know that. My dog never once said I love you in his years, but I was left in no doubt. I think couples marry way too prematurely, falling in love with the concept of having found love rather than actually having found it. And that's when they end up in trouble... False love is one of the most hazardous things on earth..i quite agree.

Yeah, I agree with this, however this is extremely rare to find. I am quite convinced that we cross paths with our soulmates at least once in our life time, however we may not be ready for each other when we do cross. I.e. difference in age, different careers, different lifestyle, different growth and development internally, that we simply are not ready. Both need to be on the same wavelength for the resonance to happen. I questioned this a lot in my 35+ years. I question why is it that some women I have met in the past, that I never really forget and think from time to time and/or are on my mind a lot. I know that I could never make them happy because if for some magical reason they decided to surrender to me I could never surrender to them because of my current comintement. I just accept the fact that in this lifetime it might not be the right time.

I think that some people search their entire life never to find it, and have this idea that they will but end up dying in loneliness. Sometimes when they stop searching it finds them, and its like the conscious search has blocked the force to bring you together.

I think the majority of people just find people they like spending time with and grow to like them, to love them, and finally to accept them at their core and for who they really are.

Nobody here is in a position I think to say which way is right, and we should never let the affect us like that.

I do think that its beautiful to have girls like yourself and Sophie which such a positive outlook and spin of the standard cliches and stigma that it just blows all the nay sayers into bits and pieces. They always try to find reasons to resist, and fight it, no matter how convincing it sounds. I think its commendable that there are beautiful women like you who have this outlook.

To John: Can you picture yourself on your death bed saying the same words. How are you going to feel knowing that you never really were prepared to surrender yourself to the one you thought was the one despite the consequences and say the fuck with it, whatever happens happens with the right one. Are you going to be fine knowing that your fear of getting hurt, burned and taken through court caused you to block her, the one, from entering your life, because of fear. Are you going to be okay dying with this in your last thoughts. Obviously only you can answer these questions, and no other person can.

With my wife, I was starting to resent her, but have grown to love her again. Even though she is not the one, she is not the soulmate, I have learned to accept her, appreciate what we have, and have been blessed with very happy and content kids. My message is its not always about finding true love, most of us change through the dynamics of life with time, and the people that we fell in love with may not be the same people we will love in 10 years. Maybe its us, the other party that has changed, and thus we think we are not in love. A marriage will always work if two people are willing to make it work, and can overcome everything provided they want whats best for each other.

Everyone has on opinion on this topic and its nice to see that it works out from the ladies POV.


 
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