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relationship question

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chazz_matzz

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Sep 14, 2003
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I have been dating this really nice girl for a few months.....She has my complete attention to the point where I have zero interest in hobbying..

However she is jewish and her parents are not comfortable with her dating a non jew. I have met them a few times and they arent friendly.

My question is; has anyone been in an similar situation that they care to share?
 
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Gentle Ben

Senior Member
Jan 5, 2002
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Its already not off to a great start, Id tread cautiously & lightly
Like I've been good at relationships in the pastLOL)
 
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chazz_matzz

Member
Sep 14, 2003
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well

Gentle Ben said:
Its already not off to a great start, Id tread cautiously & lightly
Like I've been good at relationships in the pastLOL)
Click to expand...
Its off to a great start other than the disapproval of the parents
 
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Herodotus

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Nov 10, 2007
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Dude, you're her Goy Toy! :)
 
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a 1 player

Smells like manly roses.
Feb 24, 2004
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Yes I have. Many years ago in the dark ages (the 80's), I was absolutely in love with a Black Girl. She was everything I ever dreamed about. Beautiful, smart, sexy, excellent friends, fun to be with, same interests... and she liked Heavy Metal.:D

Problem being, at the time was that there were not too many inter-racial relationships, especially between a white male and a black woman. Though I got along with her family, and her mine, the pressure and attitudes of society in general was too much for us two kids to handle. The stares, the comments from members of both races, me having to listen to racist jokes by people who did not know my relationship status. Unfortunately, neither of us had the backbone nor the patience to continue battling the world.

Granted that was many years ago. My advice is to follow both your heart and your mind. Even though times have changed significantly in a couple of decades, there will still be much adversity, especially from some of the older citizens who are set in their ways. Maybe it will change with her parents, maybe it won't. Either way, good luck and I hope you are a stronger man than I was when I was a kid. God knows, it wasn't easy.
 
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Papi Chulo

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Jan 30, 2006
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chazz_matzz said:
I have been dating this really nice girl for a few months.....She has my complete attention to the point where I have zero interest in hobbying..

However she is jewish and her parents are not comfortable with her dating a non jew. I have met them a few times and they arent friendly.

My question is; has anyone been in an similar situation that they care to share?
Click to expand...
You could always convert to Judaism
 
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Mongrel4u

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May 27, 2005
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I've been in this situation many many many times.

I could tell many a story but it all boils down to this:

Your relationship is really nobody elses business but yours and the girl you are involved with. Parents and other people should have no bearing on who you decide to be with... in a perfect world. HOWEVER, the world isnt perfect and many people bend to the wishes of others especially the parents.

My suggestion is to have a discussion with her...get it all out.. how she feels about you, how she feels about her parents negative view of you, what she will do if push comes to shove.... You need to get all of this straight before you proceed because if she chumps out while you are wearing your heart on your sleeve it will hurt like hell.
 
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Mongrel4u

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May 27, 2005
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a 1 player said:
The stares, the comments from members of both races, me having to listen to racist jokes by people who did not know my relationship status. Unfortunately, neither of us had the backbone nor the patience to continue battling the world.
Click to expand...
See, maybe you were just looking at it wrong....its not about battling the world. You're just living your life. you are happy and thats all that really counts. If others have a problem with it... then fuckem...they arent the ones that have to live your life. I just make a joke of it and laugh at their pathetic asses.

It really is that easy....and this is coming from someone who is in an interracial marriage.
 
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a 1 player

Smells like manly roses.
Feb 24, 2004
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At this point in my life I fully agree with you. However when I was in my teens and in high school, peer pressure and a whole host of other shit got the better of us. I guess we were both not intellectually and emotionally capable of bearing that kind of weight at that time. I still feel shitty about the whole thing even though it was over half my life ago.:(
 
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tboy

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Aug 18, 2001
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I had a similar problem with a greek girl: her parents came right out and to my face said "I am nothing...." and their constant harping at her just added to the pressures and she folded continuously......

It drove us apart eventually and as advised, talk to the gf...if she is willing to stand up to her parents and is serious, then you're good to go. If she wavers even the slightest? Be prepared because it isn't going anywhere.....ever.
 
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Mongrel4u

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May 27, 2005
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tboy said:
. If she wavers even the slightest? Be prepared because it isn't going anywhere.....ever.
Click to expand...

yes I forgot to mention this... even the slightest waver or hesitation during that discussion will be enough of a warning.

without the conviction you have nothing
 
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Mongrel4u

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May 27, 2005
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a 1 player said:
. I still feel shitty about the whole thing even though it was over half my life ago.:(
Click to expand...

ah...you were young and still had some developing to do...no biggie
 
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tboy

resident smartass
Aug 18, 2001
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a 1 player said:
At this point in my life I fully agree with you. However when I was in my teens and in high school, peer pressure and a whole host of other shit got the better of us. I guess we were both not intellectually and emotionally capable of bearing that kind of weight at that time. I still feel shitty about the whole thing even though it was over half my life ago.:(
Click to expand...
I think we all have ladies from our pasts that we think back on "what if....". I think that prepares us to not let the same shit prevent us from making the same mistakes twice.

At least that's the way I looked at my relationship with the girl in my story. I always wonder what would have happened had we had the support of her family? Like jewish families, greeks are VERY co-dependant on their families and if you don't have their support? You're toast before you get through the front door....

Now I realize that family is important and should never be cut totally out of your lives but if a woman over the age of 20 can't cut the apron strings, then don't even bother...unless you want to be the family lapdog for the rest of your lives.......
 
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Terminator2000

Well-known member
Jun 16, 2007
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If you think dating a jewish girl is hard...

If you think dating a black girl is hard...

Try dating a taller girl. Now that's hard!
 
Polaris

Polaris

Well-known member
Oct 11, 2007
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hornyville
chazz_matzz said:
My question is; has anyone been in an similar situation that they care to share?
Click to expand...
My two worthless cents.

Try to keep the relationship a secret. No one has to know. Look what happens when they know, it creates problems. A real relationship will always have problems. Me & my S.O., I knew we were serious because one day we had a fight. I never argued with a girl before. We cared enough, that we actually had a fight. The first of many as it turned out. Keep it a secret. A real relationship will have enough friction between the two principals, no need to inject friction from outside.

One point you probably already know in your subconscience, that you will never be accepted. In that no matter what happens, you can never be thought as "one of the family". No matter what. If there are kids, the kids are accepted as "part of the family", but not the father in your case, never.

Lastly, the question here is mainly the for the girl to solve in your case. She won't dump her family for you. She wants her family, and you. She does not want to be backlisted by mom & dad. You can be blacklisted by mom & dad, but not her. A point that many do not appreciate.

Just stay out of sight, and the relationship has a better chance of succeeding. Look at all the folks who frequent courtesans. Keeping it a secret works.

If the relationship matures and marriage is next, just get married or elope. By then the parents give up, "thinking, if they tried that long to break them up and it still did not happen, that's it, it was meant to be and we're screwed! Oh Jesus!"

The parents are a concern, but go enjoy yourself. It is not often you will be in love.

Fuck, I can believe I am writing this crap on a forum like this! More beer! :p
 
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