Reference ediquette for escorts

[Lady fisher]

just curious how the etiquette of getting references from escorts is

how do you obtain a reference for an escort without feeling that your cheating on your favourite escort

do you contact the reference first ..........I am planning to see escort X would you please give a reference for me ?

thank you in advance

 

[Chloë.]

Yes please! Contact the female first, compliment her and the time you spend together if you'd like, then ask if she wouldn't mind being a reference for another lady you would like to visit. Being kind gets you far.

Also just the fact that you asked for her permission before providing her name speaks volumes. I've had gents just randomly provide my name before and I can't tell you how mildly irking it is to try and figure out which "John" or "Bob" the lady in question is referring to. If I was memorable enough for you to provide my name to another, the least you could do would be to give me a heads up and send me a line so I can provide an accurate character reference of the person you are based on our times shared, to set the girl at ease.

Finally, if the lady feels jealous because you want to see another person? She's in the wrong biz. That's highly unprofessional and a bit needy. I wouldn't take it to heart considering the fact that I'm pretty sure she has other suitors in her rolodex that she sees including you. The majority of providers who truly understand this business and are successful with it, don't care. We use references to help our business and many, including myself are always happy to help a fellow provider screen a gent prior to the planning of a wonderful date.

* One thing I'll also say is that as much as references help us screen gents, it's also a way to meet other providers. There have been many providers I've met in Toronto and other cities, where valuable insight and tips were gained and friendships made from something as simple as a reference request for a client. So it's a networking tool as much as it is a screening aide.

 

[Lady fisher]

thank you Chloe

Yes please! Contact the female first, compliment her and the time you spend together if you'd like, then ask if she wouldn't mind being a reference for another lady you would like to visit. Being kind gets you far.

Also just the fact that you asked for her permission before providing her name speaks volumes. I've had gents just randomly provide my name before and I can't tell you how mildly irking it is to try and figure out which "John" or "Bob" the lady in question is referring to. If I was memorable enough for you to provide my name to another, the least you could do would be to give me a heads up and send me a line so I can provide an accurate character reference of the person you are based on our times shared, to set the girl at ease.

Finally, if the lady feels jealous because you want to see another person? She's in the wrong biz. That's highly unprofessional and a bit needy. I wouldn't take it to heart considering the fact that I'm pretty sure she has other suitors in her rolodex that she sees including you. The majority of providers who truly understand this business and are successful with it, don't care. We use references to help our business and many, including myself are always happy to help a fellow provider screen a gent prior to the planning of a wonderful date.

my reference is a classy lady like you

it's just me thinking she might get jealous because I don't see many escorts and I tend to repeat
who I am comfortable with

Merry Christmas

all the best in 2017

 

[Chloë.]

my reference is a classy lady like you

it's just me thinking she might get jealous because I don't see many escorts and I tend to repeat
who I am comfortable with

Merry Christmas

all the best in 2017

Hey you,

I am quite sure she won't mind. You are very kind to worry either way.

Happy holidays! Xoxo

 

[Ms.FemmeFatale]

Reminder to ladies reading this - Make sure that you check said reference when given. There are some, not all, but some men who will lie and say they saw someone hoping you will just take them at face value.

 

[ValeriaBeleza]

I personally prefer that a client advises me before hand that he will use me as a reference, to me it says a lot about the gentleman's character.
In terms of info needed to screen, make sure you provide consistent info, the reason I say this is because in many cases I've had gentlemen providing heads up that they'll use me as a reference but they will provide different info to the other provider and in turn that's the info she uses to contact me and make sure I've seen said client. In those cases I've had to cross reference and in different instances update email and new phone the client is using.
Therefore, I cannot stress enough that, consistency is key, if you decided to change your alias, phone number etc make sure is consistent with info given to both providers ( board name, twitter info, correct email) also, unsure what the cut off is but I've had clients mentioning me as a reference after a year I've seen them. I still provide a reference but I advise the provided how long it has been since I saw him.

 

[NorthernBear]

I simply will not see an SP that insists on references. This is supposed to be an anonymous business so any SP I have seen before will hopefully not keep any records of my visit
I'd like to think that when I visit someone I leave her with lasting memories but that just does not happen. There are plenty of very good providers that do not require references so I will see them.
I do not have anything to hide, nor am I a dangerous person that a provider needs to be warned about. It's just that I do not keep phone numbers of those that I have seen in the past and I hope that they do not keep a record of me.

 

[LisbethNova]

I simply will not see an SP that insists on references. This is supposed to be an anonymous business so any SP I have seen before will hopefully not keep any records of my visit
I'd like to think that when I visit someone I leave her with lasting memories but that just does not happen. There are plenty of very good providers that do not require references so I will see them.
I do not have anything to hide, nor am I a dangerous person that a provider needs to be warned about. It's just that I do not keep phone numbers of those that I have seen in the past and I hope that they do not keep a record of me.

I find it incredibly mind boggling how defensive gents get about the reference thing....

 

[HobbyHorse]

I simply will not see an SP that insists on references. This is supposed to be an anonymous business so any SP I have seen before will hopefully not keep any records of my visit
I'd like to think that when I visit someone I leave her with lasting memories but that just does not happen. There are plenty of very good providers that do not require references so I will see them.
I do not have anything to hide, nor am I a dangerous person that a provider needs to be warned about. It's just that I do not keep phone numbers of those that I have seen in the past and I hope that they do not keep a record of me.

Plus one. It's not a question of being defensive, Lisbeth. Simply common sense.

 

[Mr. Piggy]

If your a terb member and the sp in on terb too, then you shouldn't need a reference. If reviews are not good enough, then the sp is not worth seeing IMHO.

 

[legmann]

I simply will not see an SP that insists on references. This is supposed to be an anonymous business so any SP I have seen before will hopefully not keep any records of my visit
I'd like to think that when I visit someone I leave her with lasting memories but that just does not happen. There are plenty of very good providers that do not require references so I will see them.
I do not have anything to hide, nor am I a dangerous person that a provider needs to be warned about. It's just that I do not keep phone numbers of those that I have seen in the past and I hope that they do not keep a record of me.

I find it incredibly mind boggling how defensive gents get about the reference thing....

He has a point. If it is anonymity he is concerned about (paramount for most), his natural inclination might be too avoid those where this anonymity might be compromised. How is this 'defensive'?

 

[james t kirk]

I simply will not see an SP that insists on references. This is supposed to be an anonymous business so any SP I have seen before will hopefully not keep any records of my visit
I'd like to think that when I visit someone I leave her with lasting memories but that just does not happen. There are plenty of very good providers that do not require references so I will see them.
I do not have anything to hide, nor am I a dangerous person that a provider needs to be warned about. It's just that I do not keep phone numbers of those that I have seen in the past and I hope that they do not keep a record of me.

Agreed.

I would never ever see anyone who was looking for a reference or any sort of identity check. The risk of blackmail is simply too great.

It's the providers right to ask for these things, but it's my choice not to see any providers who make such requests.

 

[wangbang]

"I didn't get into this business to have any relationships! I don't want to join your goddamn union. Loner, lone gunman -- get it? That's the whole point!"

- Martin Blank, Grosse Pointe Blank

 

[Chloë.]

The joke about this whole reference issue is that we aren't asking to see YOU personally. You initiate contact first. If you don't wish to follow the screening methods or see us, that's fine and definitely your right, but it always baffles me the dudes who want to come on here and talk about not seeing a provider with reference requests. Or how she isn't "worth it" based on what she asks. Please, you do your due diligence and I'll be damned for being beaten down for doing my own.

This was a dude who asked how to approach and ask FOR a reference, not about refusing to use one. Wrong thread to complain.

 

[Peegies]

I simply will not see an SP that insists on references. This is supposed to be an anonymous business so any SP I have seen before will hopefully not keep any records of my visit
I'd like to think that when I visit someone I leave her with lasting memories but that just does not happen. There are plenty of very good providers that do not require references so I will see them.
I do not have anything to hide, nor am I a dangerous person that a provider needs to be warned about. It's just that I do not keep phone numbers of those that I have seen in the past and I hope that they do not keep a record of me.

You should frequent unreviewed ladies. Since you're against references you should be equally comfortable with no reviews.

 

[HobbyHorse]

The joke about this whole reference issue is that we aren't asking to see YOU personally. You initiate contact first.

Actually it is WE who are not going to be asking to see a lady who demands references. Obviously that would include YOU, Chloe.

In seeing us, you are engaging in a business activity. In seeing you, we are engaging in an illegal act.

You are telling us that you could care less that we choose to go elsewhere. So why are you squawking about it? You wont see us. We wont see you. Everyone happy.

But we are certainly entitled speak our mind on an issue that strikes at an essential aspect of hobbying.

 

[Chloë.]

Actually it is WE who are not going to be asking to see a lady who demands references. Obviously that would include YOU, Chloe.

In seeing us, you are engaging in a business activity. In seeing you, we are engaging in an illegal act.

You are telling us that you could care less that we choose to go elsewhere. So why are you squawking about it? You wont see us. We wont see you. Everyone happy.

But we are certainly entitled speak our mind on an issue that strikes at an essential aspect of hobbying.

....this WOULD include me but again does that mean that you have to come on a legitimate thread that is asking a question about how to go about something you don't approve of and complain? It's essentially moot and just makes you look like a shit disturber. Nobody asked you for your opinion about why you don't prefer references at all, so no, you aren't technically entitled to that unless you enjoy pointless chatter and it really wasn't needed. Doesn't help OP at all.

That's really the main issue that myself and the providers who spoke on this thread have. Why comment if you have nothing useful to contribute? If the thread asked your opinion about references, then by all means but it really didn't. It helps no one and once again, is quite idiotic to see. Apparently we aren't "worth" it based on our screening methods? But then most of the ones who complain are the men who rely on screening a provider via PMs and visible reviews AND LOL, "won't TOFTT" a new provider without prior info available about her. It's a ridiculous double standard but you don't see us ripping clients apart or complaining about what doesn't work for us based on your choices.

Just keep it moving.

 

[Frankunderwood]

Unless you're using your real email address, I don't see how your anonymity is being compromised? You contact the lady by email, and ask if you can use her as a reference. You would be surprised by what/who they remember. The process isn't that intrusive at all, IMO. But if you feel otherwise, like Chloé says, just move on.

 

[Chloë.]

Unless you're using your real email address, I don't see how your anonymity is being compromised? You contact the lady by email, and ask if you can use her as a reference. You would be surprised by what/who they remember. The process isn't that intrusive at all, IMO. But if you feel otherwise, like Chloé says, just move on.

EXACTLY. If I've seen "Banker John" a million times with the email address "xyztoronto@hotmail.com", I can give an accurate character reference. I don't understand this whole issue with blackmail when dealing with providers who are scrupulous. Savvy providers can AND DO screen with aliases...

Your "name"? Doesn't matter. Who you are as a person does. There are many females who've gone through horrible experiences because they just took the dude's "I'm a good guy" shtick at face value. You might be a "good guy" but unless another provider said so, many of us are pretty hard pressed to believe that based on everything we've witnessed, with ~95% probably never spoken about openly. This is an intimate service so don't bash those of us who take extra steps to be comfortable in an intimate setting.

 

[HobbyHorse]

Two things. Then I'll retreat and you can beat me up to your heart's content in my absence:

1. Threads on this board often segue into related topics. It's commonplace, and among the things that makes the board interesting, albeit sometimes frustrating for those like yourself who are keen to stay on topic and deliver a specific message. On this occasion you are choosing to be indignant about the segue because the message is contrary to your business practice.

2. Some providers (Chloe?) ask for your name, occupation, phone number and email address. Then they want references. As I see it, that's getting a little intrusive. (Frank might say just give false name, false occupation, hobby email address, burner phone number, and maybe that's the ticket. But then what protection/advantage does this information afford the provider?) If an escort is working in the financial district, for example, it's quite possible we will have acquaintances in common. At bit too much info, a bit too cozy and my life could be vey negatively affected.

As you say, we each have alternatives. So as I say, everyone happy.