Recon ad on Lavalife. What an eye opening experience.

[Cinema Face]

I’ve recently been checking out Lavalife after being off of it for more than 5 years. I’ve had limited success. I’ve been looking at some ways to increase my success and I started getting the free newsletter from www.insiderinternetdating.com One of the suggestions is to set up a “recon” profile. Basically you set up a phony profile of the kind of women that you’d most likely want to meet and see what kind of responses she gets from guys on an internet dating site. That way you learn what to do and most importantly, what not to do to get her attention.

I set up a profile using a pic that I got from Lavalife 5 years ago from a girl in Florida. I figured she’s unlikely to be recognized in Toronto.

Well, I just about shit myself. Within about 2 minutes, before my profile was even approved, I was getting guys IM’ing me. Within an hour or so, I had as many as 25 guys trying to chat with me. I had a deluge of emails and smiles and all these guys trying to chat. It’s impossible to handle all the responses. Some of the responses were hilarious and I was a real smart ass with the guys and they loved it! I could be a rude as I wanted to some of them without any retaliatory comments back. Many guys will let who they think is a pretty woman walk all over them.

Here’s what I discovered:

2/3 of all the responses are BORING! Most guys just say, “hi” or “how’s it going” or, “Gee, you’re pretty.” When you get that many all saying basically the same thing, it gets pretty lame. When a woman has 25 guys she’s chatting with, then you have to be more interesting to get noticed.

1/3 of all responses are sexual right from the start. The guys will open with, “I’d like to f___ you doggie style,” and stuff like that. OK. That’s not boring but I would think that would creep a woman out.

I have approx. 44 emails during last weekend. There were approx. 2 emails from guys that I would likely respond to if I really was that lady in my profile. There is a lot of chaff.

Most guys don’t read my profile. I specified a certain type of guy but more than half of respondents are not what I specified. Consider that it costs money to respond, these guys are wasting their money.

Some guys will do almost anything. I have a guy from Maryland sending me poetry. I have a marriage proposal from a guy in Florida. Unbelievable.

Conclusion: No wonder the women online have a big stick up their ass. No wonder the guys are disillusioned about the lack of success. The women have all the power. They get a huge amount of validation from the experience. It’s a big ego trip but it gets on their nerves after a while. They are getting inundated with responses from clueless, horny guys.

www.insiderinternetdating.com suggests that if you post a recon profile, end the profile with a <*> so that us guys in who subscribe to that site know it’s a recon profile and they don’t message you.

 

[shack]

I’ve recently been checking out Lavalife after being off of it for more than 5 years. I’ve had limited success. I’ve been looking at some ways to increase my success and I started getting the free newsletter from www.insiderinternetdating.com One of the suggestions is to set up a “recon” profile. Basically you set up a phony profile of the kind of women that you’d most likely want to meet and see what kind of responses she gets from guys on an internet dating site. That way you learn what to do and most importantly, what not to do to get her attention.

I set up a profile using a pic that I got from Lavalife 5 years ago from a girl in Florida. I figured she’s unlikely to be recognized in Toronto.

Well, I just about shit myself. Within about 2 minutes, before my profile was even approved, I was getting guys IM’ing me. Within an hour or so, I had as many as 25 guys trying to chat with me. I had a deluge of emails and smiles and all these guys trying to chat. It’s impossible to handle all the responses. Some of the responses were hilarious and I was a real smart ass with the guys and they loved it! I could be a rude as I wanted to some of them without any retaliatory comments back. Many guys will let who they think is a pretty woman walk all over them.

Here’s what I discovered:

2/3 of all the responses are BORING! Most guys just say, “hi” or “how’s it going” or, “Gee, you’re pretty.” When you get that many all saying basically the same thing, it gets pretty lame. When a woman has 25 guys she’s chatting with, then you have to be more interesting to get noticed.

1/3 of all responses are sexual right from the start. The guys will open with, “I’d like to f___ you doggie style,” and stuff like that. OK. That’s not boring but I would think that would creep a woman out.

I have approx. 44 emails during last weekend. There were approx. 2 emails from guys that I would likely respond to if I really was that lady in my profile. There is a lot of chaff.

Most guys don’t read my profile. I specified a certain type of guy but more than half of respondents are not what I specified. Consider that it costs money to respond, these guys are wasting their money.

Some guys will do almost anything. I have a guy from Maryland sending me poetry. I have a marriage proposal from a guy in Florida. Unbelievable.

Conclusion: No wonder the women online have a big stick up their ass. No wonder the guys are disillusioned about the lack of success. The women have all the power. They get a huge amount of validation from the experience. It’s a big ego trip but it gets on their nerves after a while. They are getting inundated with responses from clueless, horny guys.

www.insiderinternetdating.com suggests that if you post a recon profile, end the profile with a <*> so that us guys in who subscribe to that site know it’s a recon profile and they don’t message you.

Guys hit on girls and fall all over the pretty ones all the time all over the world. This is basically a more modern confirmation of this reality of life.

Having said that, it was an interesting idea to set up the phony account to at least read some of the come on lines and see what kind of volume the profile generated to let you know what kind of competition you're up against.

 

[tboy]

Sheesh guys, come on, don't you think that is even a little lame and dishonest? Making a fake profile? What ever happened to dignity?

So, as you justify your actions to yourself, might you think that the women you are trying to contact might in fact be guys doing exactly what you've done? So not only is it difficult to meet real women online, now we're going to have all kinds of guys, posting all kinds of fake profiles to see what to and not to do?

I also suppose that you'd have no problem with a hot chick picking you up in a bar and chatting with you all night then at closing time telling you she's a guy just trying to find out what not to do to pick up women in bars....

How about this:

Be yourself, write your email the way you would normally write it being yourself. If she responds? then it is meant to be...if the real you is the boring ones that get tossed, then accept fate and move on....

 

[Cinema Face]

Wow, you mean people actually mis-represent themselves online??? Gee, who knew? Get a grip on reality geesh!

In the past I’ve had dates with women I’ve met online that didn’t look anything like their description or photo.

My recon profile has dozens of responses from guys 40 and 50 years old that ALL claim that they’re single. They can’t all be.

I don’t feel guilty for making a recon profile. Any harm I’ve done is far outweighed by the information I’m sharing with my fellow terbites now.

I knew that the online dating scene was stacked heavily in favour of the women. I had no idea just how much. I suspect if most guys knew, they’d be as blown away as I was.

 

[Cobster]

Conclusion: No wonder the women online have a big stick up their ass. No wonder the guys are disillusioned about the lack of success. The women have all the power. They get a huge amount of validation from the experience. It’s a big ego trip but it gets on their nerves after a while. They are getting inundated with responses from clueless, horny guys.
-------------------------------------------
BiNGo!!!
If guys didn't give them HALF the attention, there would be a lot less stuck up chickies all over the world.
You should see the rating sites where you post your pics and people basically leave you comments.
All the hot girls get these "omg you're so hot" "wow you're gorgeous" etc, etc, comments...and it's no fuckin wonder the chickies are stuck up.
Guys are retarded.

 

[tboy]

Wow, you mean people actually mis-represent themselves online??? Gee, who knew? Get a grip on reality geesh!

In the past I’ve had dates with women I’ve met online that didn’t look anything like their description or photo.

My recon profile has dozens of responses from guys 40 and 50 years old that ALL claim that they’re single. They can’t all be.

I don’t feel guilty for making a recon profile. Any harm I’ve done is far outweighed by the information I’m sharing with my fellow terbites now.

I knew that the online dating scene was stacked heavily in favour of the women. I had no idea just how much. I suspect if most guys knew, they’d be as blown away as I was.

You my friend, are an ass.....this isn't about misrepresenting yourself online with a false or old pic, you're not even the same SEX as the ad for christ's sake!

So, you think it is cool and totally ok to lure these guys into spending their credits in trying to contact you?

If you can justify your actions by saying it is ok because you're sharing the information here, why don't you post it on Lavalife? Why don't you post it in your profile? Come on, grow some balls, how about posting your recon profile name here so we can see what you wrote?

I sure hope, no I PRAY, that someone fucks with you this way.....

Remember: what goes around comes around my friend and remember what you've done when you start spending your hard earned dollars contacting all the recon profiles posted by assholes JUST LIKE YOURSELF!

 

[james t kirk]

I have used lavalife in the past, haven't met anyone in going on 3 years, nor have I been trying.

I dated one woman from lava for about 10 months (the last one I met actually). No gripes about her, she was a decent woman, just bad timing (long story) caused the demise of our relationship.

But, I did use lava and did meet a few women.

I discovered fairly quickly that a lot of the women my age (mid to late 30's) are seriously delusional. They all think that they deserve a John F Kennedy Jr. type.

The key phrase to watch for either in the profile, or in emails you send is:

"I'd rather be single than settle"

or similarly, "I won't settle"

That is a dead give away that she is seriously fucked up.

She's 36, never been married, possibly never even had a serious relationship of more than 6 months (met those), average looking, average job, average personality, and probably a host of bad points.

And yet she thinks that she is truly god's gift to man. She can NOT understand WHY the JFK jr. types are not flocking to her.

If you get the "I won't settle" from any woman on Lava, blow her off right away, bring her down a peg or two.

I had one woman email me in response to my profile and her line was (this is a classic that I won't ever forget), "better off single than poorly accompanied"

I opened her email, let it sit a few days (lava tells you whether or not the other person has opened your email), then got back to her telling her I wasn't interested. She came back and wanted to know why, so I told her exactly what I thought of her "better off alone than poorly accompanied" statement.

She blocked me after that.

 

[james t kirk]

The other thing I did on Lava which is similar to cinema face, but not that underhanded was to create "the perfect male" profile.

I cropped a photo from a male modelling site. (Sorry Buddy)

First I gave him an asshole of a profile, telling the women that I was a great guy, using the word, "lady", telling them that I was the kind of guy who wouldn't make them get out and pump the gas, blah blah blah.

He got hit on a lot more than me.

So what does that tell you?

Live and learn.

Then I took it a step further and bought this guy some credits and modified his profile so he wasn't an asshole anymore, but he was just a wee bit dumb.

I would email the women that I met, or IM them and try to determine exactly where they stood with me.

This was somewhat underhanded, but it allowed me to see what was really inside these chick's heads and save me a lot of time, energy, money, and grief.

There were two women that I met on lavalife, went out on dates with, one of whom I slept with, who when approached by Mr. Tall Dark and Asshole were totally available and had not met anyone interesting, or that they felt any "chemistry" with.

Thanks buddy.

I don't consider this underhanded because I only emailed the women that I had met, did not initiate any conversations with women on the site who I had not met, nor was I posing as a female.

It just saved me a lot of bullshit that I don't need.

I am not convinced in the least that lava is a good way to meet women. It's backwards, and it's like a department store.

 

[Meister]

All the hot girls get these "omg you're so hot" "wow you're gorgeous" etc, etc, comments...and it's no fuckin wonder the chickies are stuck up.
Guys are retarded.

One woman from Ashley Madison told me that in her experience guys say anything to get laid. LOL

 

[red]

One woman from Ashley Madison told me that in her experience guys say anything to get laid. LOL

thats a lie? we mean it, but we forget after we have sex

 

[Cobster]

I opened her email, let it sit a few days (lava tells you whether or not the other person has opened your email), then got back to her telling her I wasn't interested. She came back and wanted to know why, so I told her exactly what I thought of her "better off alone than poorly accompanied" statement.

She blocked me after that.

LMAO nice job.
Really crushed her ego, lol

 

[Cinema Face]

Thanx Captain Kirk,

That’s another type of recon ad. Trying different types male ads to see what women respond to.

The problem is that they online dating thing is just SO STACKED IN FAVOUR OF WOMEN, that us guys need to tip the scales a little bit back into our favour.

Your story reminded me of a story.

I met a great lady on Lavalife about 5 years ago. We dated a few times and were in the beginning stage of a beautiful relationship. Then I get a response on lavalife from another lady. I replied back and we started to correspond.

I was chatting with the new lady on msn for about 10 minutes before I realized that it’s the same girl as my g/f. So I decide to play the one against the other. I started bitching about my g/f to the other girl.

I enjoyed seeing my g/f while she’s trying to hold in all her anger. I know she’s pissed but she doesn’t dare let me know or her little game is up. Great fun.

It ended the relationship but that’s OK because she played that stupid game with me and it backfired on her.

I like that expression, "better off alone than poorly accompanied"

There are some seriously delusional women out there, both online and the real world. It comes from a lifetime of having guys treating them special just because they have a hole between their legs.

 

[Tick]

A few years back I dabbled with Lavalife when it was still called Telepersonals.

Simple truth is that it's total crap. The entire concept of Telephone dating or online dating through a system like Ashley Madison is horribly skewed.

This business about creating a "Recon Profile". Okay, you realize that this "tip" is being put out there by someone who works for one, or many online dating systems. The Recon profile creates A: A Fictitious Woman and B: A Profile of a Woman that will more than likely have more good selling points than bad. Now you've got a female profile, created for "Free" because women usually don't pay. This Profile is a "Good One".... you're a guy, so you use the buzz words you would like to hear and avoid the words that turn you off, like 90% of the other guys. (Medium Build?, HAHA!) Now that profile is out there, and like you admitted, guys send it messages, right guys, wrong guys, idiots, pervs, guys shooting way out of their league.. the works. These guys all pay MONEY to say Hi to your fictitious girl. Now keep in mind, most phone systems make the most simplistic attempt to get guys to be guys and girls to be girls. Which of course can and will be avoided with the simplest of lies, but hey, they tried, right? So it's all good. So now you've got a fake woman, who no guy is going to meet, date, sleep with, marry, whatever, who is sucking up MONEY. From your pocket to theirs. Yes, you may be the guy making the profile, but odds are you sent a Hello to one yourself too.

Teledating and Computer Dating is first and foremost a Business. No one there will ever have the honesty to tell half the train wrecks who come in on both sides of the fence "Hey, maybe being single forever works for you."

I spent I would say six months to a year toying with it. Never met a single person IRL of any consequence. It was an excellent learning experience. I was able to see just how self-delusional most people are about themselves. My experience was with the women putting up adds, but I fully admit there is probably three times as many men on there who are bat-shit crazy. You begin to listen for buzzwords and indicators that are oddly accurate keys to who you want to talk to, stay away from or RUN from.

1. Medium Build or Average Weight (He, or she, is at least 50 lbs into "fat-land") If a person even MENTIONS a real number, add 30 Lbs.

2. There's a TV playing really loud in the background during her profile.

3. There's other people talking or children screaming in the background.

4. Anyone looking for "The Real Deal" or "The Complete Package" (You're trying to meet people through software... hello?)

5. Serious Relationship = Marriage Casual Dating or Friends = Marriage Flings = Fucking, then Marriage.

6. Crazy Hair (I have short orange hair with black and purple streaks = MAYDAY!)


Crazy shit I've been asked, and/or told.


1. "Okay, how fat is too fat for you? Cuz I really wanna meet someone, right now, tonight." -she sounded completely hammered, and it was after last call on a "Bar Night".

2. "We're two girls who want a guy to come over, and jerk off while we watch. We're not naked, we're not going to do anything to you, or each other, we just want you to come over, wank, then leave." Wtf?

3. "Which Backstreet Boy do you look the most like?" HAHAHAHAHAHA

4. "I'm at X Hotel right now, and I'm looking to meet a man." Oh, and how much will this cost an hour?

5. "shhh, be quiet... I can hear my dad in the Hallway, I need to stuff the phone under my pillow for a minute...." I SHIT YOU NOT, and this girl claimed she was in her 20's.

6. "I'm a nurse (ooh!) in the whirlpool tub (oh ho!) at the convalescent senior's home (what!?) where I'm the overnight watch nurse. My patients are asleep in the next room and I'm bored. (What the hell?!?!)



Seriously.... get your friends to help you meet women, or go to bars... BAD THINGS HAPPEN ONLINE!

 

[Cinema Face]

Tick, that`s a bit cynical but not untrue.

Your examples remind me of this thread from a while back.

https://terb.cc/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=106581&highlight=code

 

[great bear]

did you accept any dates

Eye in your latest sig is that women having oral sex with you?

 

[frankcastle]

Wow sounds like tick had a bad time with the whole teledating thing. But from the sounds of it it was a few years ago and things have changed somewhat. I know a few people for which LL has yielded dates and or relationships. Here's the way I see it if you buy $50 worth of credits it works out to 60 messages or so that you can send. And $50 could be a cheap night out in which you are not goint to approach that many women. Plus on top of that your chances are a little better on LL since the women are interested in dating and you may have a few things in common right off the bat (by reading the profile).

The point I'm making is that it's not right to suggest its a waste of money if you compare it to a regular night out and the number of women you approach that way.

 

[Tick]

If it has improved, great, but seriously... 10-ish years ago it was like taking your life in your hands.

 

[Tick]

Tick, that`s a bit cynical but not untrue.

Your examples remind me of this thread from a while back.

https://terb.cc/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=106581&highlight=code

Oh no, I highly disagree....I`m VERY Cynical >_<

 

[tboy]

Wow sounds like tick had a bad time with the whole teledating thing. But from the sounds of it it was a few years ago and things have changed somewhat. I know a few people for which LL has yielded dates and or relationships. Here's the way I see it if you buy $50 worth of credits it works out to 60 messages or so that you can send. And $50 could be a cheap night out in which you are not goint to approach that many women. Plus on top of that your chances are a little better on LL since the women are interested in dating and you may have a few things in common right off the bat (by reading the profile).

The point I'm making is that it's not right to suggest its a waste of money if you compare it to a regular night out and the number of women you approach that way.

I don't know about other's experience but it is going to take you a heck of a lot more than 50 credits to meet a woman F2F.....Hell, it is what, 5 credits just to chat and 5 to email? That's TEN women not 50......and I can approach 50 women just by going grocery shopping which costs me nothing.

To be blunt: I've probably spent, oh, $2000.00 total on all the dating sites I've belonged to and met probably 30 women. One of which I flew to FLA to meet who ended up a) not returning my phone calls when I arrived at the hotel and b) forgot she gave me her address so I could send her flowers on valentine's day and c) was 100 lbs overweight and not even the same woman in her profile. (that trip alone cost me almost a grand).

Suffice to say I have had zero luck in meeting anyone of substance online and frankly, that's why I hobby now. Much more bang for my buck....

 

[frankcastle]

Yes it costs about 6 credits per woman but for $46 CAD you get 200 credits. So that amounts to roughly 67 some odd women you can contact.

I've spent about $250 to $300 over the course of 2 to 3 years. From that I've had one 7 month relationship and a bunch of one off dates.

I really don't see that as a waste of time because over the span of 2 or 3 years I've spent the equivalent of a one hour session with a MPA or SP.

I'm just trying to provide a counter point to your arguments. I agree it sounds like it didn't work for you and you spent a lot of money but I don't think that's the typical experience that men have.

I'm not trying to suggest that the success rates of LL are high because they arent'. But is it any better or worse than approaching random women at the bar? I mean if you're approaching women at a bar one would hope you have high standards which ultimately means that there is a good chance the woman will say no. I can say this that the number of dates becaues of LL for me has been much more than the number of dates arranged outside of LL.

So who knows maybe it was your approach or the women that you were selecting to contact.

I guess I'm pretty happy with LL because I was never really good at meeting women in bars (i.e. zero luck in the pick up scene) and with LL I've had a good number of dates so in my mind a bunch of dates (can't count them all as some were very forgettable) is infinitely better than no dates.