I was able to quit going to strip clubs without much difficulty. I had only about half a dozen visits from 1998-2003, not one since, and no desire to go back. That's not quite the same, but not all that different.
Quitting the Hobby? Is it Possible?
- Thread starter slewdem
- Start date
Thanks. Actualy, I ripped it off from W.C. Fields. He used to say "it's easy to quit the demon rum. I've done it a thousand times."LOL, that's great.
Applies to the hoibby too but I should have given him credit.
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Now you have no reason not to hobby!I have been busted by s/o , kicked out my house, an I still hobby . Ya I know , I am fucked!
That's been my pattern as well. I think it's very possible to quit if you have good reason to.Eh. When I'm in a long term relationship, I don't hobby; I only do it when I'm single. I haven't had any trouble sticking to that.
I think it's extremely difficult to quit when you want to hobby.
Until you get turned off by the industry, once the genie is out of the bottle, it's hard to quit.
Everyone had a "first time". Up until then, you think about it when you're horny with no outlet, but you never take that final step because of the whole guilt thing associated with paying for it. But finally, one day, your cock wins out and you take that final step. In my case, it was a MP in 1997 or 1998 or so. The second time - hell, that's a whole lot easier. The third time - you barely even twinge twinge at it. You end up liking it.
But as time goes on, a few things happen. You begin to have hollow experiences. I mean really hollow - mechanical, not thrilling, with women you wouldn't be that interested in so called, "real life" you leave and you're walking down the street and you're thinking, "why did I just do that?" "I feel like shit" (and it has little to do with paying the cash, but more to do with the fact that you got nothing out of it - no thrill, no connection, you just blew your load. Big deal.) On top of that, you begin to get a little older and wiser (and less horny). There is also the financial aspect (never hobby on credit.)
Like all things in life, the hobby has both good and bad side to it. If you stick to it "in moderation" it's not going to take over your life. You have to keep it in perspective as to what it is.
I haven't hobbied in quite some time now (though maybe that will change given my newly single status). I have to admit that the desire to hobby just isn't as strong as it was back in 97. (Maybe I'm just turned off of women and their fucking bullshit - who knows. Maybe it's the law of diminishing returns.) It's interesting though, I make more than triple now what I was making back in 97 when I started, yet I was more apt to drop the coin back then than now.
So yes, it's possible to quit, but you have to be in the right frame of mind.
Until you get turned off by the industry, once the genie is out of the bottle, it's hard to quit.
Everyone had a "first time". Up until then, you think about it when you're horny with no outlet, but you never take that final step because of the whole guilt thing associated with paying for it. But finally, one day, your cock wins out and you take that final step. In my case, it was a MP in 1997 or 1998 or so. The second time - hell, that's a whole lot easier. The third time - you barely even twinge twinge at it. You end up liking it.
But as time goes on, a few things happen. You begin to have hollow experiences. I mean really hollow - mechanical, not thrilling, with women you wouldn't be that interested in so called, "real life" you leave and you're walking down the street and you're thinking, "why did I just do that?" "I feel like shit" (and it has little to do with paying the cash, but more to do with the fact that you got nothing out of it - no thrill, no connection, you just blew your load. Big deal.) On top of that, you begin to get a little older and wiser (and less horny). There is also the financial aspect (never hobby on credit.)
Like all things in life, the hobby has both good and bad side to it. If you stick to it "in moderation" it's not going to take over your life. You have to keep it in perspective as to what it is.
I haven't hobbied in quite some time now (though maybe that will change given my newly single status). I have to admit that the desire to hobby just isn't as strong as it was back in 97. (Maybe I'm just turned off of women and their fucking bullshit - who knows. Maybe it's the law of diminishing returns.) It's interesting though, I make more than triple now what I was making back in 97 when I started, yet I was more apt to drop the coin back then than now.
So yes, it's possible to quit, but you have to be in the right frame of mind.
I get caught up on looks too... But it's all just chasing the dragon. That hot sp, that hot civvie, it's all the same when you boil it down. Never completely satisfying. Is it really all that much better than your hand in the end, when the smoke clears? Yep women are pricey any way you cut it, whether you pay to play or have a girlfriend, and and the cost isn't purely monetary.Actually it's easy to quit.
Just think about the hottest escorts you've ever met. Then think about what actually happened.
She put it in her mouth, then you had sex with her, with a condom. When I stick it in, frankly, it doesn't feel that great. Sometimes I think the trouble I have with sex, (cumming), is it doesn't feel that great so why bother. As far as BBBJ, again what's so great about it versus your hand. The best orgasms I've had is with my hand.
Also what's so great about a woman's looks anyhow? Are we actually after sex, or is it about lookism. When I think back, the only time I felt good about escorts is when she was a looker. She can be funky in bed, but the sex is boring and unsatisfying without the look factor. That being said, can't you just look at hot girls on television or porn and masterbate.
In conclusion, the lure of the hooker (er escorts) will never fade, but it hurts the wallet when girlies gotta get paid...
when you are lying on your death bed, going through your life, do you think you will say " i should have f'd less women" ?? I know I won't and am living that way today while I am capable; emotionally, physically and financially. Plenty of time to settle down and play by the so-called rules. The only thing that concerns me is that when i do settle down , for good, that my past will undoubtedly catch up to me. Its inevitable. So Im trying to figure out how to manage that eventuality. At this stage of life,I think i have a good 2-3 year run ahead of me full-on in this hobby ... and i look forward to that!
Actually it's easy to quit.
Just think about the hottest escorts you've ever met. Then think about what actually happened.
She put it in her mouth, then you had sex with her, with a condom. When I stick it in, frankly, it doesn't feel that great. Sometimes I think the trouble I have with sex, (cumming), is it doesn't feel that great so why bother. As far as BBBJ, again what's so great about it versus your hand. The best orgasms I've had is with my hand.
Also what's so great about a woman's looks anyhow? Are we actually after sex, or is it about lookism. When I think back, the only time I felt good about escorts is when she was a looker. She can be funky in bed, but the sex is boring and unsatisfying without the look factor. That being said, can't you just look at hot girls on television or porn and masterbate.
In conclusion, the lure of the hooker (er escorts) will never fade, but it hurts the wallet when girlies gotta get paid...
That is kinda sad.....maybe you simply have not had the right girl...some women have utterly drained me... but of course your preference is much cheaper... so maybe I am sad...lol
I'd still pay girls to eat each other out for visual entertainmentCastration
I found that quitting was easy when I really thought about what I was doing.
Yeah, I banged some extraordinarily hot women. Yeah, I had good times.
But seriously, the experiences were ultimately empty.
It was also a bit of a wake up call when one angel (of the SP variety) told me I should get a girlfriend. Seemed like good advice, given all my thought on the topic. I did. Never looked back. Haven't pooned in over 2 years.
Yeah, I banged some extraordinarily hot women. Yeah, I had good times.
But seriously, the experiences were ultimately empty.
It was also a bit of a wake up call when one angel (of the SP variety) told me I should get a girlfriend. Seemed like good advice, given all my thought on the topic. I did. Never looked back. Haven't pooned in over 2 years.
James T Kirk is bang on.
My own experience is this:
1. This isn't an addiction. It may bear some of the behavioural symptoms of addiction, but not the physiological. Even if it was an addiction, that's just an excuse. This is a compulsion. You could choose stop if you wanted to.
2. You have to figure out why you started and why you keep going. If you were happy with life/your relationship(s) in the first place, you wouldn't have started pooning. So what is it? Sex? Companionship? Loneliness (yes, even for those in relationships)? Thrills?
3. If you find something that fills that void, you won't want to hobby. It could be finding a great new relationship or simply realizing that this is stupid. Hell, I was just bored and lonely for the longest time. I never enjoyed f*cking for sport. I enjoyed being accepted and having an intelligent conversation about all kinds of topics (not about domestic chores or work).
4. Trouble starts when the hobby becomes a part of your "real life". Real friends, real feelings, real heartache. Keep the pay-for-play a discrete, compartmentalized part of your life. It makes it easier to hobby and easier to quit, too.
My own experience is this:
1. This isn't an addiction. It may bear some of the behavioural symptoms of addiction, but not the physiological. Even if it was an addiction, that's just an excuse. This is a compulsion. You could choose stop if you wanted to.
2. You have to figure out why you started and why you keep going. If you were happy with life/your relationship(s) in the first place, you wouldn't have started pooning. So what is it? Sex? Companionship? Loneliness (yes, even for those in relationships)? Thrills?
3. If you find something that fills that void, you won't want to hobby. It could be finding a great new relationship or simply realizing that this is stupid. Hell, I was just bored and lonely for the longest time. I never enjoyed f*cking for sport. I enjoyed being accepted and having an intelligent conversation about all kinds of topics (not about domestic chores or work).
4. Trouble starts when the hobby becomes a part of your "real life". Real friends, real feelings, real heartache. Keep the pay-for-play a discrete, compartmentalized part of your life. It makes it easier to hobby and easier to quit, too.
Quite the opposite, I know I'll be having regrets, I'll be saing I hsould have f'd way more women when I had the chance but turned it down. Damn what fool I was/am. Time to live life to the fullest and enjoy, do whatever makes you feel good.when you are lying on your death bed, going through your life, do you think you will say " i should have f'd less women" ?? !
When you hit the great beyond. Then we'll probably wished we didn't as we get punished and sent to hell. hopefully by a hot devil chick in tight red leather with tits ready to bust.
When I think of all the money I blew in the hobby, I get kinda sad. When I think of all the women that blew me, I get happy again.
Agreed.4. Trouble starts when the hobby becomes a part of your "real life". Real friends, real feelings, real heartache. Keep the pay-for-play a discrete, compartmentalized part of your life. It makes it easier to hobby and easier to quit, too.
Like many other hobbies, this hobby can become a compulsion or an addiction.
Take casinos for example. For most people , it's a fun diversion. An opportunity to spend a few dollars and be entertained; occasionally you come away with more than you put in but it's not expected or required. However, some people actually go into a casino expecting to win money; this almost always ends in disappointment. Others are compelled to try over and over to win money and this can grow into a true addiction.
Food is another good example. Most of us are reasonably healthy but indulge in rich and fatty snacks on an occasional basis because it's fun and feels good. Others may overindulge and turn to food when they are trying to change their mood. Finally, there are compulsive eaters who take this to a very unhealthy extreme.
This hobby is the same. Most of us enjoy it in a healthy way. Some may be in it for the wrong reasons or to try to make up for a gap in their (real) personal or social lives. Finally, there are a few who have lost control of their hobby and indulge more than is prudent or safe; this can lead to all sorts of real troubles.
Take casinos for example. For most people , it's a fun diversion. An opportunity to spend a few dollars and be entertained; occasionally you come away with more than you put in but it's not expected or required. However, some people actually go into a casino expecting to win money; this almost always ends in disappointment. Others are compelled to try over and over to win money and this can grow into a true addiction.
Food is another good example. Most of us are reasonably healthy but indulge in rich and fatty snacks on an occasional basis because it's fun and feels good. Others may overindulge and turn to food when they are trying to change their mood. Finally, there are compulsive eaters who take this to a very unhealthy extreme.
This hobby is the same. Most of us enjoy it in a healthy way. Some may be in it for the wrong reasons or to try to make up for a gap in their (real) personal or social lives. Finally, there are a few who have lost control of their hobby and indulge more than is prudent or safe; this can lead to all sorts of real troubles.
That is kinda sad.....maybe you simply have not had the right girl...
Sorry for the delayed response and thank for commenting on my specific rant.I get caught up on looks too... But it's all just chasing the dragon. Never completely satisfying. and the cost isn't purely monetary.
Nothing much to add except with girls it's expensive, without girls, what the point. They have us by the balls, but we still love 'em and in the end, what's there not to love. Life is hard, but be happy.
xxx
Also I have just quit for about 3 weeks, and I honestly don't feel like rushing back. In past years I got addicted, only to set my mind to quitting and then stopping, once for almost 2 and a half years. As long as you save money for the other things you want to buy, in the end game, at least you had fun and made someone happy by giving them money for looking hot. It's not actually a sex industry. It's a lookism industry
In the long run you get the last laugh, when their older all chicks get low self esteem. However when I see their sad faces I'm not laughing, I feel bad.
such a great question. personally I haven't booked a FS SP in many months - maybe almost a year now. I found myself exiting the hotel etc and not feeling great about the exp. but rather asking 'why did I do that? what a waste of $'. Its not the $ as I can afford to see SPs but it seemed to have gotten to the point of just being routine.
that said I do have a very high sex drive and see someone for BJs 3-4 times a month, in addition to frequent sex with the SO...I doubt I could stop
that said I do have a very high sex drive and see someone for BJs 3-4 times a month, in addition to frequent sex with the SO...I doubt I could stop
