I agree completely... which is why I want to make sure I don't screw this relationship up. She's a great girl and she also pretty good looking and has a pretty good appetite in the bedroom. She's definitely a keeper. She's just not quite up to par with the top notch SPs I've seen and I can't help but be a bit disappointed. I thought by stop seeing SPs, it would make we want her more and more but after almost a year, I still don't have that strong desire. She wants sex and I want to make sure I can continue to give it to her. So far I have disappointed her a few times because I just wasn't turned on but I was able to brush it off with some excuse.
Question for the guys with wives/girlfriends...
- Thread starter Don
- Start date
Don - have you been spoiled by the quality of the SP's you've seen, or the quality of the sexual experience(s) with those SP's ? Are we talking about variety? I get that. Sex with the same person for years / decades can get routine/monotonous. I understand that. I think even if you saw the same top notch SP day after day, month after month, year after year that the experience would be less and less exciting - because you've mastered all of their moves & tasted all of their tastes.Question for the guys with wives/girlfriends who see SPs... are you still turned on by them enough to be intimate?
I've been dating this girl for a year now. So I've stopped seeing SPs almost that time. While she is pretty good looking and also pretty good in bed, she can't compare to some of the top notch SPs I've seen in my time. Hence I am not as turned on by her and I don't always want to have sex with her. Of course we still get it on, but sometimes it is hard for me to do the deed. I've been spoiled by the quality of SPs that I have seen in the past . I'm wondering if most other people have experienced the same thing as me. Or if they have no problems wanting to get it on with their significant other, even though they don't look as good or will do some of the things that a quality SP will....
Some people just aren't meant to be monogamous. Through experience & a messy divorce - I learned that about myself - and now I'm a happier person...
R2R
You haven't said a thing about your feelings for this woman. You speak only of how good she is in bed. As if that is the only thing by which she should be measured. As others have pointed out, its fairly normal for sexual desire to decline somewhat after you have been with someone after a period of time.I agree completely... which is why I want to make sure I don't screw this relationship up. She's a great girl and she also pretty good looking and has a pretty good appetite in the bedroom. She's definitely a keeper. She's just not quite up to par with the top notch SPs I've seen and I can't help but be a bit disappointed. I thought by stop seeing SPs, it would make we want her more and more but after almost a year, I still don't have that strong desire. She wants sex and I want to make sure I can continue to give it to her. So far I have disappointed her a few times because I just wasn't turned on but I was able to brush it off with some excuse.
You might want to consider what makes your sessions with SPs so much hotter and then discuss with your SO. Or maybe its just that you like variety. In which case, you can resign yourself to a life of cheating and lying, or you can consider other options. A therapist comes to mind. Many on this board will poo poo that idea, but for me that would be preferable to cheating and lying for the remainder of your time with this lady, or others that may follow. Does that make me a romantic?
Oh, and good luck. I think you have raised a very valid point.
Why don't you introduce her to some of the types of sex you think you're missing out on? If she has a healthy appetite as you say she will probably be open to new ways of doing things and an eager beaver in wanting to try them out.
If it's that you don't think she's hot enough looking then you should let her go so she can look around for a guy who can put up with not dating a 10.
If it's that you don't think she's hot enough looking then you should let her go so she can look around for a guy who can put up with not dating a 10.
The only thing you can really compare is "first times" because sex with any woman will become less intense over time...even the "sexiest" woman in the world. Just how our biology works. So it would be very unusual for the experience to be the same the 30th time as the first few. Having said that some different sorts of experiences can be had in a long term relationship that may not be possible in a "first time" situation.
So expecting sex with a spouse to be as intense as with an SP is unrealistic...even if they did exactly the same things. But expecting an SP to know you inside out, what you like, etc. is also not realistic. You only get that through a relationship and time.
So expecting sex with a spouse to be as intense as with an SP is unrealistic...even if they did exactly the same things. But expecting an SP to know you inside out, what you like, etc. is also not realistic. You only get that through a relationship and time.
Pretty much says it well.The solution to your problem is remarkably simple but adhering to it will be remarkably difficult.
All you need to do is focus all your sexual energy and attention on your SO. That means no porn, no SP and no TERB. After about 3 weeks or so (give or take) you will be begging your SO for sex and you will stiff as a board every time.
You need to teach yourself a form of sensory deprivation down below. Once you are able to do that you can have a much more meaningful intimate relationship with your partner.
Whether you actually want that is for you to decide. In my experience it is very difficult to focus all sexual energy in one place but if you can maintain that impressive feat it can be very rewarding.
Good luck!
Don't get the cloud of excitement and rush of seeing someone 'new'; about getting sexual pleasure from a complete stranger let cloud your reason, that's half the reason why we all see SP's in the first place. A lot of the pleasure and lust is incited by PORNOGRAPHY.
SP's are paid companions and thats about it. Believe me they don't have a lot of good things to say about us hobbyists. At the end of the day, its all business, I mean thats why they do it in the first place - they are motivated by the almighty dollar and they do sexual acts so much, its almost as if they are completely 'numb' to the experience.
If your woman at home just isn't doing it for you, then figure out the reason why that is and try to address the issue. If she's not attractive enough for you, then maybe you should re-evaluate what you see in the MIRROR and honestly speak for yourself: do you deserve better? Are you in the gym 6 times a week and is your wife a slobbed out whale eating potato chips on the couch? In that case, I could understand your argument.
SP's are paid companions and thats about it. Believe me they don't have a lot of good things to say about us hobbyists. At the end of the day, its all business, I mean thats why they do it in the first place - they are motivated by the almighty dollar and they do sexual acts so much, its almost as if they are completely 'numb' to the experience.
If your woman at home just isn't doing it for you, then figure out the reason why that is and try to address the issue. If she's not attractive enough for you, then maybe you should re-evaluate what you see in the MIRROR and honestly speak for yourself: do you deserve better? Are you in the gym 6 times a week and is your wife a slobbed out whale eating potato chips on the couch? In that case, I could understand your argument.
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Both quality of looks and sexual experiences I've been spoiled. But I think that it is not necessarily variety that I crave for. When I see an SP that has the look and provides the experience I want, I usually stick with her for a long time. Usually it ends because she retires. It really is a certain look and certain fetishes I want and my GF doesn't quite match it.Don - have you been spoiled by the quality of the SP's you've seen, or the quality of the sexual experience(s) with those SP's ? Are we talking about variety? I get that. Sex with the same person for years / decades can get routine/monotonous. I understand that. I think even if you saw the same top notch SP day after day, month after month, year after year that the experience would be less and less exciting - because you've mastered all of their moves & tasted all of their tastes.
R2R
If you're just having a problem getting your SO to rim you, then you're problem isn't as serious, if I can use that word, as the OP's.It's a legitimate problem. My SO is wondderful in dozens of ways, but she's not a 19 year old Asian into mutual rimming. SPs probably have spoiled me for normal sex with amateurs.
I fell really strongly about her. She's someone who I get along with really well and someone I can see myself being with forever. Basically she is marriage material to me. Because of my strong feelings for her, I gave up seeing SPs.You haven't said a thing about your feelings for this woman. You speak only of how good she is in bed. As if that is the only thing by which she should be measured. As others have pointed out, its fairly normal for sexual desire to decline somewhat after you have been with someone after a period of time.
Well one of the things that make my sessions with SPs hotter is looks. That can't be controlled. The other is certain fetishes, mostly erotic outfits that I ask SPs to wear. I once light broached the topic with my GF and I got the strong impression that she would not react favorably if I ask her to wear something like that. I don't think it is variety I crave. As I mentioned in a previous reply, if I find an SP that has what I am looking for, I prefer to stay with her than try a bunch of different girls. I was definite a repeat type of customer.You might want to consider what makes your sessions with SPs so much hotter and then discuss with your SO. Or maybe its just that you like variety. In which case, you can resign yourself to a life of cheating and lying, or you can consider other options. A therapist comes to mind. Many on this board will poo poo that idea, but for me that would be preferable to cheating and lying for the remainder of your time with this lady, or others that may follow. Does that make me a romantic?.
I definitely want an honest relationship with my GF, hence I gave up SPs. I'm just a little concerned about by sexual performance and was curious how all the other guys who are married or have girlfriends can handle pleasing the wife/gf and see a bunch of super hot SPs no problem.
Yup, I've been doing just that - NO SPs, no strip clubs, no porn, etc. I thought that after a few months of abstinence from other sexual distractions, I'd be all over my girlfriend. But it has not been the case, at least not as much as she wants and not as much as I would like either. I am just concerned that I am permanently spoiled.All you need to do is focus all your sexual energy and attention on your SO. That means no porn, no SP and no TERB. After about 3 weeks or so (give or take) you will be begging your SO for sex and you will stiff as a board every time.
You need to teach yourself a form of sensory deprivation down below. Once you are able to do that you can have a much more meaningful intimate relationship with your partner.
Whether you actually want that is for you to decide. In my experience it is very difficult to focus all sexual energy in one place but if you can maintain that impressive feat it can be very rewarding.
Good luck!
Fuji, if you truly love her, how could you just become friends when she's past her 'prime'?So far... but my wife is much younger than me, and she's thin, and works out regularly. Obviously though time will eventually catch up to her, I figure she's got another 10 years and then she'll be past her best before date. So far she's still better looking than most of the SP's that I see but obviously some day that will change. Then I don't know what will happen. Just friends?
Bingo! I say that attitude and enthusiasm and a sense of adventure trumps DDG looks anytime.for me it's never been about the drop dead good looks. Its all about attitude and enthusiasm towards sex.
I would suggest that you try something different for a change. Have you two ever talked about fantasies? Have you shopped at a sex store together? What about taking her to a lingerie shop and buy her something sexy? Or some fashion boutique for sexy clothes, or Northbound Leather for kinky wear. Then take her to a shoe store and buy some CFM shoes? Then take her to get her nails done - something with pizzaz, like electric blue nail polish (or whatever floats your boat). She's gonna wonder that you're trying to 'whore' her up, but it may be fun in the end. You might see a different side to your GF.Yup, I've been doing just that - NO SPs, no strip clubs, no porn, etc. I thought that after a few months of abstinence from other sexual distractions, I'd be all over my girlfriend. But it has not been the case, at least not as much as she wants and not as much as I would like either. I am just concerned that I am permanently spoiled.
In short, see if you can corrupt her, he he.
I'm also concerned to the extent that it might affect my patience in finding or dating someone who could be my GF, as I'm not attached.:frown: This is a VERY serious problem for me.
Life's not fair.Fuji, if you truly love her, how could you just become friends when she's past her 'prime'?
I wish! Erotic outfits is a big fetish of mine and one area I was spoiled by with SPs. I somehow got a conversation started where I lightly broached the topic of lingerie and my impression was that she would not be too receptive of playing "dress up" for me... at least in the outfits I'd like to see her in.I would suggest that you try something different for a change. Have you two ever talked about fantasies? Have you shopped at a sex store together? What about taking her to a lingerie shop and buy her something sexy? Or some fashion boutique for sexy clothes, or Northbound Leather for kinky wear. Then take her to a shoe store and buy some CFM shoes? Then take her to get her nails done - something with pizzaz, like electric blue nail polish (or whatever floats your boat). She's gonna wonder that you're trying to 'whore' her up, but it may be fun in the end. You might see a different side to your GF.
In short, see if you can corrupt her, he he.
How is her body? Seems like you think she would look good in them. Tell her that you think she'd look great if she wore this or that. Now, I'm not talking dressed like a domina in leather if that's what you mean. You need to break her in gently as she may be shy about dressing in erotic clothes that she never wore before.I wish! Erotic outfits is a big fetish of mine and one area I was spoiled by with SPs. I somehow got a conversation started where I lightly broached the topic of lingerie and my impression was that she would not be too receptive of playing "dress up" for me... at least in the outfits I'd like to see her in.
Try harder to convince her. Compliment her at the same time. Make her feel good by treating her. You take her shopping.
Yes, life isn't fair. We all grow older, including us men. But if you love her, one would think that you'd be more than just friends, even when looks fade. Judging by how you described her, as slim and better looking than the SPs you see, I can't see how she wouldn't be attractive even as the years go by. Consider yourself lucky.Life's not fair.
