Post Shower Etiquette

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blank_dave

The Abstinent Hobbyist
Oct 12, 2009
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Next Door
Or: What To Do When the Towel Isn't Big Enough?

This is something I didn't post about after my first visit to a SP, and seeing as I have another coming up...

I had just joined here and cerb. I had read through the newbie section on cerb, and got an idea on proper etiquette. Dress nicely, check. Act like a gentleman, well if gentlemen act like deer caught in headlight I got that down. Be washed and smell good, sort of check, as I don't use scented products. Shave the lads, didn't do a good job of it but check. Donation in an envelope, check. So what am I missing?

There I am in the shower when it hits..."WTF am I supposed to wear into the bedroom?" Ye old shorts? Yeah, a fat guy in tighty whities now isn't that the image. Towel? Makes sense. Just a smile? At least it's honest. A sock? How Red Hot Chili Pepper. (Give it away, give it away, give it away now)

I opted for the towel. At 5'10" and about 235lbs, that's alot of Dave to get around. And really the towel wasn't wanting to cooperate in that department. There was all of an inch of over lap in the corners!! Let's just say towels don't seem to like to stay on when there's that little to tie them together. But I got it to stay, and in I went...Which a good whack of my thigh and hip exposed.

Well I don't recall if we were still talking or if we had started kissing, but I felt a little something on my hip...And it was not questing fingers. Ssshhhwhip! My only though was "damn, there goes the towel...meh" Britney hadn't removed my lone garment...My lone garment removed itself! Of all the things rattling my nerves, and making me feel awkward and embarrassed, this one didn't really seem to register.

But this brings me to my question, that I hope that both the ladies and gents can advise on. "I'm larger than life, and twice as ugly" (name that quote if you dare), and more man than alot of towels can handle. Which would you advise...Go with the towel, risk wardrobe malfunction which could result in one towel becoming entangled in my feet and me going melon first into the bed frame? If the towel doesn't fit just go nekkit...In all my "last chicken in the shop" glory. (Name that quote) How about we just skip the sock suggestion right here. But what about a nice set of boxers, or such? (First one to recommend a banana hammock dies!) Simple and easy to remove...Just don't want to look like a boxer when I'd rather be pro wrestling. :D

I'd like to hear your suggestions from both sides of the matter.
 
I've never had a guy come out with a sock, but anyone who has enough balls to look that ridiculous in front of a (almost naked) woman deserves praise in my opinions. Along with the laugher of course.

But if you want to skip the sock, I suggest you just go out naked if the towel doesn't fit. Look at her straight in the eyes when you come out of the bathroom, and turn the attention toward her by giving her a compliment on how hot she looks.
 
The hell? I just don't understand the issue here. Thanks for making a funny thread, but I don't get it. You're saying you're insecure about being naked in front of an sp? Or embarrassed about wearing underwear? I don't understand.

I could understand if you were with a gf who hasn't seen you nude before and you're worried your naked body will affect your chances with her somehow.... but to be worried about what the sp thinks of your underwear? Come one man. I had my last sp pull down my tighty whities. I'm 225. I didn't think to be embarrassed. I don't think she minded. I don't mean to sound like I'm making fun...... I'm just kind of..... making fun.
 
Yeah, it was ment to be a comical thread, but with a grain of truth in it, hoping to grow into useful information.

Was I self concious? Damned straight I was! I have a very poor self image. I won't even go outside without a shirt on. I know she's seen guys in better and worse shape then I, with bigger and smaller packages than mine. It doesn't matter. It's about how I feel about presenting myself.

But in all honesty, this is a subject that I have not seen broched. You look around, you'll find threads, for newbies, on picking the right lady, making the date, appropriate behaviour with the lady, proper handling of the exchange, tipping and gifting, etc...Hell there's even been mention of not wearing your socks. But there is nothing...NOTHING...for the newb about to make that first fearful flight from bathroom to bed and what to wear.

If I have to be the butt of the joke, just to get this subject out there, so be it.

And I'm sure it would provide some entertaining responces.
 
You could ask the escort what she thinks. Might break the ice for both of you. Or you could of course get redressed, and then enjoy the fun of her undressing you.

It's not different than outcall situations where the sp takes a shower first. The EE gals, who tended to be all business and totally without modesty, usually came out of my bathroom naked. Or else wrapped in a towel.

The Canadians came out either in lingerie or entirely dressed again.

I preferred the Cdn. approach, so I appreciate our poster.
(And love his humor at the same time as his serious query.)
 
A Towel provided that covers the private bits and head to the bedroom is fine by me.

If you do everything correctly and your in the ackward pause of in your towel wondering what to do you have pass the test. :)
 
I have been in some places with small towels and felt the same if it will not stay on.

My play is to throw it over my shoulder and to come out as natural as possible. I complement the lady and get down to business
 
Okay the answer to this is very simple. Everyone know when you come out of shower, you MUST wear a towel, even if there is no one there.

Come on folks, even Donald Duck knows that. As a duck, he is only required to wear a shirt. But when he comes out of a shower, even he wears a towel.

I hope this clears any confussion for the OP.
 
This is always awkward for me, but only with someone new. Repeats/regulars, it's just naked if the towel won't fit. New ladies? Yeah, it's awkward, especially if they're still fully dressed. But I usually make a joke about never knowing what I should do. It helps break the ice.
 
As another huge furry beast, I can empathize..

blank_dave said:
Yeah, it was ment to be a comical thread, but with a grain of truth in it, hoping to grow into useful information.

Was I self concious? Damned straight I was! I have a very poor self image. I won't even go outside without a shirt on. I know she's seen guys in better and worse shape then I, with bigger and smaller packages than mine. It doesn't matter. It's about how I feel about presenting myself.

But in all honesty, this is a subject that I have not seen broched. You look around, you'll find threads, for newbies, on picking the right lady, making the date, appropriate behaviour with the lady, proper handling of the exchange, tipping and gifting, etc...Hell there's even been mention of not wearing your socks. But there is nothing...NOTHING...for the newb about to make that first fearful flight from bathroom to bed and what to wear.

If I have to be the butt of the joke, just to get this subject out there, so be it.

And I'm sure it would provide some entertaining responces.
Click to expand...

...but as other posts reiterate, you are gonna be naked (unless you are wearing a badbaby outfit(?)) ASAP anyway so why not now.

And, while this is usually where the gals take the lead, cut down the lighting if it helps you relax.

On rare occasions I meet someone new, I send them to shower/bathe with the other gal(s) first. They get comfy and giggly, and often bearly notice me when I get out of the bathroom.:p
 
Funny but not so funny problem. I always worry about just showing up at the bedroom naked as well.

I too am 225 lbs and find those towels don't tie together. Wearing underwear just doesn't seem right. I find putting the towel around you with the ends meeting on a hip, hold with one hand and go. You usually end up sitting on the bed at which time remove your hand. Shes going to take care of the rest anyway.

If there's a wardrobe malfunction between the bathroom and bedroom I usually just laugh it off.

Remember the ladies are usually seasoned enough to not get embarressed and their not out to make fun of us either.
 
I think this is a very legitimate concern and one of the reasons I prefer outcalls. What if an SP went to a hotel and you answered the door naked? She probably would turn around and walk out the door. What I do now is wear an oversize dress shirt to the session and put that back on after the shower. I just button enough buttons to cover the package and anything else i don't want the SP to see....Hope this helps
 
roblestone said:
I think this is a very legitimate concern and one of the reasons I prefer outcalls. What if an SP went to a hotel and you answered the door naked? She probably would turn around and walk out the door. What I do now is wear an oversize dress shirt to the session and put that back on after the shower. I just button enough buttons to cover the package and anything else i don't want the SP to see....Hope this helps
Click to expand...

A guy wearing nothing but an over-sized dress shirt is a little feminine to me. Mind you if you wore sock-garters with it, I do know of a certain SP that would be driven over the edge by that visual.
 
Don't mean to brag but the only sock that would fit the Bear would be a hockey sock.
 
Ahhhh hon, towel malfunctions are no biggies,,,,most of us expect you will be naked or just holding the towel, we take it off right away anyways so no biggie. Hell, we are just so grateful you took a shower that you could be wearing a frilly ballet skirt and it would be cool ;) o.k. that was a slight exaggeration but you get the point. What is not cool is ratty old holey undies that should not even be used as a rag to clean the car with.
 
I'm a bit baffled; is it intended the towel stay in place during the main event(s)? I've always thought nekkid together was part of the pleasure; can't see any point in postponing the start. Besides, if the reveal might embarrass, getting it as far away from the magic moment as you can seems a good strategy.
 
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