Poll: Addicted or Not?

[shack]

Many a mention has been made of this hobby being an addiction. Just curious as to how many here feel that they are actually addicted.

To me, being addicted would mean that you repeatedly engage in a particular activity in spite of knowing that continuing to do so will lead to personal ruin. In this hobby, it could mean that you are endangering your family life, personal relationship(s), your work, your health or heading down the path to financial insolvency. Hobbying more and enjoying it less.

Others may have different definitions of addiction (I'm no expert) or other parameters of their lives that are in danger, but the bottom line is that you are aware that you may be f**king up your life, but you can't stop.

It would also be interesting to hear the reason(s) why you feel you are or are not addicted.

I haven't searched, but I don't recall seeing this question posed before. If it has, my apologies.

 

[Zulu]

Good question, S. I've often thought about this and wondered if I am bordering on addiction or not. I have a tendancy to see one lady at a time- before arriving in Toronto, I saw the same lady for 5 years. And I saw her a lot. When I moved and didn't see her anymore because of distance, I took the time to add up what I spent on her over all that time- it was astronomical. Was it worth it? Yes. Would I have willingly given up seeing her? No. I looked forward to seeing her and it added a dimension to my life that was missing. Now that I am here, I am still just seeing one lady that I enjoy equally. I think those of us who see one or a few or even several SPs on a continuing basis don't have much to fear as far as addiction. It's the guys who are obsessed and running from one to the next and who really can't afford it who should stop and worry.

 

[Quest4Less]

When I think of all the money I spent over the years the figure is pretty high.... I could have put a nice chunk down on a house, or be driving a porche.... If I could somehow have it all back it would be nice. A saying comes to mind, "if I only knew then what I know now...".

Having said that, will I stop? No, I love sex too much. Am I addicted? I'm not sure....

 

[homonger]

I have jokingly said I am addicted to this hobby before, but I'm not sure if I really am...

I think of addicts as being individuals that have really messed up their lives because of their addiction. I manage to keep down a job, pay my mortgage, and maintain relationships, even though I do think about hobbying at least once an hour. So in that case, it hasn't had a debilitating impact on my life yet, just one on my bank balance!

I do know this... unless my life somehow depended on it, there would be no way I could quit tomorrow... absolutely no way...

 

[luckyjackson]

The word 'addiction' can be employed in either the clinical sense, or more loosely. So it's perfectly correct to say that someone could be addicted to sex. In fact though I'm no doctor, it seems that sex has a lot of the characteristics normally associated with classical addictions to nicotine or other drugs. Afterall, your body definately goes through a type 'withdrawal' if you go without for a while.

 

[ice_dog]

But food and sex are human needs...

This is exactly what Confucious(a chinese philosopher, I think) said

 

[shack]

I think it's not necessarily an addiction to sex, per se, because sex is a human need, but an addiction to this lifestyle, that is , hobbying. There can be psychological addictions, such as gambling, as well as physical ones, although hobbying involves both a physical and psychological component.

Considering how many people in the past have described this hobby as addictive, so far less than 20% have indicated that they consider themselves to be in that predicament. A little less than I would have expected.

I myself am unsure. I'm not really risking anything in terms of work or relationships, but I'm definitely spending more than I can afford and although I almost always enjoy my encounters at the time, there are many times that I feel remorse after the encounter, rebuking myself for spending more than I should and asking myself why I can't control myself better. I think that's part of addiction, knowing you shouldn't be doing it (or not doing it as frequently) but continuing your pattern of behaviour and subsequently having feelings of regret.

Any other "addicts" care to share their feelings of why this hobby may be causing personal problems?

 

[DanBoy2U]

Life is addicting, and a close intimate encounter with a lovely lady is a good part of it. Would you stop breathing because you thought that it could be addictive?

Dan

 

[travel'nman]

Addiction

Although I feel that I am addicted to the hobby, I am gone for substantial periods of time in the past between encounters, sometimes six months. It all depends on how often I can get to Canada by myself for an evening.
I am from the States and I will not hobby here, the risk is just to high (as well as the prices). Also I will not hobby where there is much of a chance that I will bump into someone that I know.
I have not seen anyone for over a month now, although I have thought about it. The opportunity has not presented itself. Also, I am watching my dollars a little more closely.
I just know, however, that when the opportunity presents itself, I will see a lady.

 

[paul kinkos]

it's under control...

i've got it under control right now... haven't seen an SP in over two months... but that's because i'm back at school and not working... i'm sure that as soon as the bank account rebounds a few weeks into next summer i'll be back at it again... i have to admit though that the withdrawal is awful!

... currently only one SP that I am tempted to see, and that's Miranda... i'm not sure if I'll be able to resist the urge if I ever actually have free time when she's working... fortunately (or unfortunately) that hasn't happened yet.

wish me luck!

 

[Tieg]

No question, I'm an addict. This hobby lost it's "boys-will-be-boys" innocent naughtiness a long time ago. Now it's total obsessive compulsion. However, I'm managing to keep my life together for now (barely) and that's what's kept me from getting any help. Like any addiction... it just feels too good to stop right now. Nothing gets me quite as "high" than the quest for, and the indulgence of, an MPA/SP where everything clicks.

“It's the guys… running from one to the next and who really can't afford it who should stop and worry”.

Yep. In the 4+ years I’ve been in the hobby, it’s been exceptionally rare for me to visit the same MPA or SP more than 3x before getting bored and moving on to something new. More worrisome is the fact that I have not gone more than three weeks without an SP/MPA session in the last 3+ years. That seems to be my "white knuckle" threshold.

 

[Gumby07]

Hmmm... let's see. I started going to strip clubs on Feb 8th of 2000. Since that time, I have spent $26,543 on dances. Both of my CC's are maxed out and my chequing and savings accounts are in overdraft... to the max. I get paid this Thursday and am looking forward to going back to the club................ Yep!!! I think it's official. I'm addicted!!!

Gumby©

always taking donations for a quick dance fix!!

 

[Pistol Pete]

Gumby you left out the pennies

Hmmm... let's see. I started going to strip clubs on Feb 8th of 2000. Since that time, I have spent $26,543 on dances. Both of my CC's are maxed out and my chequing and savings accounts are in overdraft... to the max. I get paid this Thursday and am looking forward to going back to the club................ Yep!!! I think it's official. I'm addicted!!!

Gumby©

always taking donations for a quick dance fix!!

 

[Gumby07]

There weren't any pennies involved. These are mostly $10 dances. The odd number, ending with $3 resulted from one night when I only had $3 left. After 25 dances, I informed the girl that all I had left was $3 and did she want to do one more dance for the $3. As you can see, the answer was 'Yes.' I've never tried asking that question for less than a buck.

Now, I have to add up all the money I spent on the other categories such as My Drinks, Girls' Drinks, Food, and Dance Tickets. Thank god for Palm Pilots. I can now keep track of all this on one of them instead of little notebooks.

Gumby©

 

[601]

Of course it is an addiction

It is easy to avoid this question with semantic debates about whether the clinical definition of addiction should include compulsions around hookers.

The reality is that very few of the dudes on this board are addicted to sex... rather they are addicted to sex with prostitutes and everything surrounding this 'hobby' including this board.

Having a real life is difficult. Hookers provide a tempting escape that masquerades as a very real and profound experience.

Unfortunately, the two people in the bed are almost always having very diferent experiences. The only thing they have in common is that they are very, very messed up, just like all the losers on this board.

I am not talking about some guy who once in a blue moon does something wild. That's a different discussion. I am talking about anyone who takes this hobby seriously enough to be on this board.

As I have said in previous posts, I include myself in the loser category, to the extent that I am involved in this. That is a lot less now, after three years of not giving in to these urges. Life remains hard, but not as hard as it was when I totally sucked in.

 

[Mikehorn]

Hmmm... let's see. I started going to strip clubs on Feb 8th of 2000. Since that time, I have spent $26,543 on dances.

For that same money you could have seen an SP once a week and had real sex instead of imaginary sex...

 

[dude abides]

.... I informed the girl that all I had left was $3 and did she want to do one more dance for the $3. As you can see, the answer was 'Yes.' ....

so, what's the mileage on a $3 dance like?

 

[Gumby07]

The mileage on a $3 dance was the same as all the ones before. She's a good dancer and a good person.

In response to Mikehorn, real sex is over to quickly. The dances, for me anyway, are kinda like foreplay... it goes on and on, like the energizer bunny. With $10 dances, I can average 16 dances in an hour, cheaper than most SP's.

Gumby©

 

[Berlin]

Oct 2002 ? Think I just discovered terb back then.

 

[DATYdude]

How about an additional option: Addicted but managing it AND having fun. Working within my limits.

That's kind of where I'm at. I'm more addicted to terb than the hobby, and I would like to control that.