La Villa Spa

Not feeling it anymore

C

Captain Fantastic

...Winning
Jun 28, 2008
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I just don't enjoy the hobby any more. I haven't found any excitement in seeing new ladies, old favourites or anything in between. The worst part is, this has carried over into my personal life - or conversely, my personal life has crept into "the hobby," I'm not sure which it is...

Either way, I don't have that "joie de vivre" anymore - particularly when it comes to the opposite sex.

I'm single, young-ish (early 30s), in relatively good shape, considered attractive and I'm otherwise happy, healthy and full of life. I just have not found someone - anyone - that is interesting to me in a sexual/relationship sense. The weirdest part is that I have girls and women flirting with me all the time - many even overtly throwing themselves at me.

But I just don't seem to care. And I'm scared by that.

I should be at my best right now. Great job that's going well. Friends, family and a great support network. I have nothing to be depressed, stressed or bothered about - other than this.

It's really weird and tremendously vexing. At my core, I want someone in my life on some level - girlfriend, partner, friend with benefits... whatever. But I just have no interest in anyone I've met - and my life is all about social activity.

Anyone else ever been through this? :confused:
 
thick1 said:
Are you crazy?

How could you not be happy, first of all you are still young and considered attractive. secondly you have women throwing themselves all over you.

If I had women throwing themselves all over me, I wouldn't be hobbying.

Enjoy what you got man!
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I think I am going crazy!

Perhaps you can see why it's bugging me? I'm not interested in women at all any more. I went from babe hound to ... nothing, seemingly overnight. :(
 
red said:
have two drinks and call me in the morning.
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I had two. And then two more. I even spent a week without drinking at all. And then a week drinking every day.

Like I said, it's all very confusing and very sudden. I'm so concerned that I actually made an appointment to see my doctor.
 
xcites said:
Maybe it's just the winter blues...

More daylight coming soon!
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I thought of that too, but I've had my motorcycle out for a bit AND I've travelled south a couple of times this winter.
 
Captain Fantastic said:
I just don't enjoy the hobby any more. I haven't found any excitement in seeing new ladies, old favourites or anything in between. The worst part is, this has carried over into my personal life - or conversely, my personal life has crept into "the hobby," I'm not sure which it is...

Either way, I don't have that "joie de vivre" anymore - particularly when it comes to the opposite sex.

I'm single, young-ish (early 30s), in relatively good shape, considered attractive and I'm otherwise happy, healthy and full of life. I just have not found someone - anyone - that is interesting to me in a sexual/relationship sense. The weirdest part is that I have girls and women flirting with me all the time - many even overtly throwing themselves at me.

But I just don't seem to care. And I'm scared by that.

I should be at my best right now. Great job that's going well. Friends, family and a great support network. I have nothing to be depressed, stressed or bothered about - other than this.

It's really weird and tremendously vexing. At my core, I want someone in my life on some level - girlfriend, partner, friend with benefits... whatever. But I just have no interest in anyone I've met - and my life is all about social activity.

Anyone else ever been through this? :confused:
Click to expand...

Yes, I'm this way too, although I'm slightly older...44. I'm not sure that I have much in the way of explanation for you. I think that sometimes "hobbying" makes things too easy, preventing us from working at socializing and relationships, and in some cases, it replaces real relationships.
 
Bobzilla said:
Yes, I'm this way too, although I'm slightly older...44. I'm not sure that I have much in the way of explanation for you. I think that sometimes "hobbying" makes things too easy, preventing us from working at socializing and relationships, and in some cases, it replaces real relationships.
Click to expand...

I don't think that's necessarily bad... Hobbying give you the freedom and allows you to work on other important goals in life, rather than chasing around women.
 
Captain Fantastic said:
I just don't enjoy the hobby any more. I haven't found any excitement in seeing new ladies, old favourites or anything in between. The worst part is, this has carried over into my personal life - or conversely, my personal life has crept into "the hobby," I'm not sure which it is...

Either way, I don't have that "joie de vivre" anymore - particularly when it comes to the opposite sex.

I'm single, young-ish (early 30s), in relatively good shape, considered attractive and I'm otherwise happy, healthy and full of life. I just have not found someone - anyone - that is interesting to me in a sexual/relationship sense. The weirdest part is that I have girls and women flirting with me all the time - many even overtly throwing themselves at me.

But I just don't seem to care. And I'm scared by that.

I should be at my best right now. Great job that's going well. Friends, family and a great support network. I have nothing to be depressed, stressed or bothered about - other than this.

It's really weird and tremendously vexing. At my core, I want someone in my life on some level - girlfriend, partner, friend with benefits... whatever. But I just have no interest in anyone I've met - and my life is all about social activity.

Anyone else ever been through this? :confused:
Click to expand...
You're just human C-F ... I think most normal, sane, social, people want to have a meaningful SO relationship in their lives ... someone who completes you so to speak. You will not likely ever find that in an SP, because that kind of casual meaningless sex, while temporarily satisfying, will never give the same fulfillment as with someone you 'love.' And once the novelty of sex with beautiful young strangers wears off, you are still left with that void to fill.

But I wouldn't give up yet if I were you ... you're still in the prime of life.
 
Bobzilla said:
Yes, I'm this way too, although I'm slightly older...44. I'm not sure that I have much in the way of explanation for you. I think that sometimes "hobbying" makes things too easy, preventing us from working at socializing and relationships, and in some cases, it replaces real relationships.
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I appreciate the sentiments and empathize with you, but I socialize much more than the average person (it's part of my job and my life) and I have numerous (platonic) relationships. Just no passion.

I tend to agree with LKD...
LKD said:
I don't think that's necessarily bad... Hobbying give you the freedom and allows you to work on other important goals in life, rather than chasing around women.
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"Hobbying" just kinda-sorta supplements my real life. When I really want to get laid and I'm between relationships, it bridges the gap. But "the hobby" is really just that, a fantasy-world pastime that is but a tiny portion of my real life.
 
LKD said:
I don't think that's necessarily bad... Hobbying give you the freedom and allows you to work on other important goals in life, rather than chasing around women.
Click to expand...

I agree that it doesn't have to be a bad thing, but when it conflicts with what someone wants, ie. a real relationship, it can cause someone to feel torn or apathetic.
 
snowleopard said:
You're just human C-F ... I think most normal, sane, social, people want to have a meaningful SO relationship in their lives ... someone who completes you so to speak. You will not likely ever find that in an SP, because that kind of casual meaningless sex, while temporarily satisfying, will never give the same fulfillment as with someone you 'love.' And once the novelty of sex with beautiful young strangers wears off, you are still left with that void to fill.

But I wouldn't give up yet if I were you ... you're still in the prime of life.
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Thanks. I hear you. I'm not looking for anything from an SP - it's just that I don't even have the same carnal urges. I just go through the motions.

(If I went to MPs, I could have been that guy in MPASqured's thread!)

I haven't given up at all. I'm just puzzled by this seemingly overnight change. It's daunting, even overwhelming, to think that women don't arouse me.
 
Bobzilla said:
I agree that it doesn't have to be a bad thing, but when it conflicts with what someone wants, ie. a real relationship, it can cause someone to feel torn or apathetic.
Click to expand...

Bob....you're totally right.
 
LateComer said:
Are you still horny? If not maybe you have low testosterone levels.
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Yeah, I'm still horny - it's just that I can't seem to find a girl/woman that excites me. But I'm going to get my doctor to check my T levels anyway. Thanks.
 
tersey said:
Maybe it's just too easy for you. You need a babe who's a challenge.
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Not meaning to sound arrogant, but yes, I'm sure that's a part of it. But only a part of it. I mean, who turns down free, no-strings-attached sex with HOT women? :confused:

My attitude/behaviour freaks me out.
 
I feel for you CF....in fact my feelings are sometimes equal to yours,with the same circumstances. This hobby may seem innocuous but it can get you down...I don't know why but it does....take every step possible to stay focused and keep a positive attitude...and really if you don't exercise...start (With Doctor's OK!) because it will help!
 
Captain Fantastic said:
Not meaning to sound arrogant, but yes, I'm sure that's a part of it. But only a part of it. I mean, who turns down free, no-strings-attached sex with HOT women? :confused:

My attitude/behaviour freaks me out.
Click to expand...

I love chocolate.
If you give me a chocolate 365 days a year, I won't appreciate it as much.
I'll get bored of eating it.

Scarcity makes us want things more.
That's human nature.

Maybe just abstain for a while and pursue other interests and hobbies (not this one).
 
Sorry, I should clarify.

I feel great. EVERYTHING in my life is great.

I'm just not relationship/sexually interested in ANY women I meet for the first time in my life. And that freaks me the fuck right out. :eek:
 
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