Need Some Advice

fuji said:
Find recent "dating an SP" threads on terb, identify which one is his, and post directly there :)
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LMFAO! I thought this same thing and was going to provide the link for the thread, but then I got too busy to go and find the thread!
 
Is it just me or is Tia still digging?

Tia, there's an old saying "screw me once shame on you, screw me twice shame on me". Just because you were used is no excuse for you to take advantage of people or lead them on emotionally in order to gain more means for yourself.

No matter how cute or beautiful or sexy you are, you always have a responsibility to be socially responsible. Karma is a beautiful thing. When I go to sleep at night I know that Karma eventually gets everyone.
 
I dont think how business is going is relevant. As an MPA, I have cut off MANY clients! Its not fun, but I dont want to spend half the day dreading an appointment with someone who makes me uncomfortable PERIOD! Be nice, but be honest and direct. tell him you are uncomfortable and not interested and that YOU need a break. I cant imagine any amount of money suddenly morphing the uncomfy into heaven-sent. For me, its about my own piece of mind. If a man makes me crazy, its time to go!
 
[
What do you mean, you don't want to see me anymore? Is it because I asked you to do a seltzer enema? No one tell me that they do not want to see me! YOUR FIRED!​
/SIZE]


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Davy.Biggie said:
Is it just me or is Tia still digging?

Tia, there's an old saying "screw me once shame on you, screw me twice shame on me". Just because you were used is no excuse for you to take advantage of people or lead them on emotionally in order to gain more means for yourself.

No matter how cute or beautiful or sexy you are, you always have a responsibility to be socially responsible. Karma is a beautiful thing. When I go to sleep at night I know that Karma eventually gets everyone.
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ok.ok u have ur point.

I got hurt before..so i am always skeptical about relationship.
 
Thank goodness he didn't give you a long stunning $2,000 leather coat. That would create an even greater moral dilemma. Go to the "Kristy" thread, maybe some useful advice there.

To avoid these uncomfortable situations, my dancer friends tell me that they tell their clients at an early stage that they are married or already have a boyfriend. (Then why do they tell me that they are unmarried and don't have a boyfriend?)
 
Davy.Biggie said:
Honest & direct but a MAN'S direct not a woman's direct.
I mean a man will say
"(Insert Name Here), The situation we're in is making it uncomfortable for me to see you anymore, be it professionally or personally. So we should probably take a break for 4 to 6 months and as a break I mean a full break as in no contact at all professionally or personally. If you find someone else in that time frame I guess it will just be my loss and your gain. if I don't contact you in 6 months it probably means my feelings haven't changed and it would be best to just keep the distance."
A woman usually sugar coats it way too much. You see most of us men don't take HINTS. And if we have those "rose colored glasses" on then we really get into a hazy state where you say "I'm confused and not sure how to tell you this" and we hear "I think I'm in love with you so I need to figure this out".
Be direct and as blunt as you can. It's the only way. and if he doesn't take it well he proves he probably wasn't that nice a guy to begin with.
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I think Davy's approach here is the way to go to make a clean break right now and leave the option open for later. Good Post...
 
Rockslinger said:
To avoid these uncomfortable situations, my dancer friends tell me that they tell their clients at an early stage that they are married or already have a boyfriend. (Then why do they tell me that they are unmarried and don't have a boyfriend?)
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LOL Yeah why is that the case with us?
 
Refer him to another SP. Claim you are busy but so and so may be available. Do it enough times and he will get the hint.

Fernie
 
MPAsquared said:
I dont think how business is going is relevant. As an MPA, I have cut off MANY clients! Its not fun, but I dont want to spend half the day dreading an appointment with someone who makes me uncomfortable PERIOD! Be nice, but be honest and direct. tell him you are uncomfortable and not interested and that YOU need a break. I cant imagine any amount of money suddenly morphing the uncomfy into heaven-sent. For me, its about my own piece of mind. If a man makes me crazy, its time to go!
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Yes, I think MPAsquared has the right idea. I would add that it is very difficult to do this kind of work when real personal feelings become strong, and that you need to take a step back as the personal/professional lines are becoming blurred. Tell him you are sorry it has become so in his case, but it needs to end now for your own peace of mind. Wish him well.
 
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well, i am sure we all have heard about an SP who was abused, harrassed, molested or fooled by the clients.
Or simply a client who pretends to fall in love with an SP in order to have a free ride.

Yes, again i'm being cynical and skeptical due to my past experience.

So, if we go back to this case:
1.Does this client pay every hour spent together?
2.Is this client sensitive enough to know this girl is no longer interested in seeing him?

the answers should be YES, especially question no.1

Question no. 2 will be yes as well if the client has a healthy mental and intellectual state.
Every grown up person with healthy mental and
intellectual state should realize and understand all the body language and "sign" that this girl is no longer interested.
and i'm sure she has given lots of hints that she is no longer interested (as she mentioned that the meeting with him is unbearable)

And if the question for no. 2 is NO. One thing i know for sure that his mental state is not healthy (as she has stated: he is lonely), but again there are so many possibilities...


I know within minutes whether or not a guy or a girl likes me.
Very few who will bluntly say: i don't like you.
But we can read their body language very clearly.


Just some food for thought.
 
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